On Christian Veiling

Posted on February 2, 2026 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

Quite recently, I came across the verse from St. Paul telling women to veil when praying and prophesying and I remembered the words I used recently in my last post: “If you believe the bible is the Word of God and you have the Mind of Christ, you would believe this.”

The full bible verse is Romans 11:1-16, but I’ll include parts here: “… Any man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head (God), but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled dishonors her head (man)—it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a woman will not veil herself, then she should cut off her hair; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her wear a veil….That is why a woman ought to have a veil (“authority” in Greek) on her head, because of the angels. Judge for yourselves; is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that for a man to wear long hair is degrading to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her pride? For her hair is given to her for a covering…”

In the past, I had wondered why we didn’t veil in the Church in the West. Back in Nigeria, I believe it was emphasised when I was younger, but I think upon seeing it not done here, I believed it was okay not to cover my hair in Church. In addition, upon my reversion to the Catholic Church, I watched a video where a priest explained that veiling is a lower t tradition that did not have to be followed and I accepted it as true.

‭‭I considered that I ought to obey my words. So, I read and re-read the verse over and over again, then came across an explanation from a woman about her journey to veiling, then got the wrong understanding of it, although I guessed it could be wrong. I concluded at the very least to veil constantly in Church, which I did from then on. I also had conversations with AI, then tried independently to understand what the Bible verse really meant. I believe I got frustrated when I could not decipher what St. Paul meant by “because of the Angels” or “Authority on her head”, although my memory is unclear on the exact parts that confused me. Later on, as I was on IG, I came across a reel that said something like, “you can’t try to understand the bible without the help of the early church fathers”. It felt like God was speaking to me, so, immediately, I left IG and did a little research on the viewpoints of the early church fathers, and have come to learn about the history of veiling in the Catholic Church, the seriousness with which the Catholic Church took St. Paul’s command of veiling for centuries, the obligatory nature of veiling in the Catholic Church in the past, and how the obligatory nature of veiling became seen as abrogated when the new code of Canon of the Catholic Church was released post Vatican II, in 1983.^(1,²⁾

The humblehousewives blogpost mentions that a Father Bugnini (involved in the development of the New Novo Ordo mass) was misrepresented as saying veiling was abrogated, to which he had clarified the law had never been abrogated in a publication in the LA Times from June 22, 1969, but the damage was already done and the tradition of veiling began fading away. Later on by 1983, veiling was removed from the code of Canon.^(1,²⁾ I think this removal without pastoral encouragement for veiling may have something to do with the loss of submission of wives in the west for their husbands, the spread of feminism and gender theory. In any case, It is possible other cultures have been influenced by the West. Although, it seems from my first and only attendance of the Traditional Latin Mass here, they have kept this tradition of veiling. The humblehousewives blogpost argues that a protective clause exists in Canon 28, which preserves certain laws from the old code: “Without prejudice to the precept of canon 5, a contrary custom or law revokes a custom which is contrary to or beyond the law. Unless it makes express mention of them, however, a law does not revoke centenary or immemorial customs, nor does a universal law revoke particular customs.”⁽²⁾ She notes veiling is not mentioned in the canon, and it is both centenary and immemorial, since it’s been around since the beginning of the church.⁽²⁾ It sounds logical to me but I’m not the expert on canon law and neither is she. Others believe the same, and when I lived in Nigeria, not veiling was not viewed in a positive light.

I learnt there are expert arguments against it, one such citing that even if it were a custom, canon 28 says customs are revoked by contrary customs, and since the majority of Catholic women have not veiled for 40+ years, a “contrary custom” has legally replaced the old one. However, this seems flawed to me, if I am correct, and one considers that millions of Catholic women in non-western countries never stopped veiling, and their numbers could make them majority. In addition, since the traditionalists in the West never adopted it (not veiling), then could the contrary custom be said to have replaced the old one? If majority of people or everyone commits a particular sin, does that suddenly make the sin good practice?

There is a canon lawyer who says that the “custom” argument is a category mistake and contends that because veiling was a written law (1917 Code), it cannot be claimed as an immemorial custom to bypass its 1983 abrogation. However, this seems flawed to me. If the requirement comes from the Bible and the “direction of the blessed Peter” as Pope St. Linus is said to have said, and veiling was widely practiced by the Church, not just in Corinth, as it is affirmed by the early church fathers across different cultures, then it stands to reason that the directive is Divine; especially since veiling reveals God’s order of creation and expresses reverence toward the Angels, who are not bound to any one culture but exist universally. Because the Angels love order, and because their love is perfectly oriented toward God, conforming ourselves to that order draws us toward a more perfect love of God and a deeper reverence for God. The fact that many Orthodox traditions kept the directive of St. Paul for head covering, suggests the early church viewed it is a universal practice of the Church, even if one would argue the Liber Pontificalis is apocryphal. If the Church removed the requirement for Baptism or the Ten Commandments or the sacrament of Penance, or even the obligation to support the needs of the Church, from the Code of Canon Law, would they cease to be mandatory?

That said, could it be possible that a large group of women stopped veiling if the men had honored them, as they ought to have been honored? It would be a one sided story if I do not acknowledge that it must have been easy for the women to accept the alternative, and then everything went awry. Taking care of a woman is not something that comes naturally to every man. That is why in a huge country like Nigeria, being the least of three major tribes in the country, Igbo men are known to know how to take care of their wives. From what I’ve heard, you’ll see the man looking simple and his wife looking majestic. He uplifts his wife, and he takes great pride in that. This is not to say that this is all Igbo men but to say this is what these group of men are known for. It was not the men selling themselves either. It was the women speaking. I wonder if this has changed. In any case, although the culture is not perfect, I think the principle here is valid and rooted in Scripture.

Prior to learning about the Church history, and post my reversion to the Catholic Church, I have worn a head scarf if I had it with me on weekdays and mostly on Sundays, because it felt good to do so, and I come from a culture where head covering in Church is predominant. Even the traditional wear of my Igbo tribe features a stylish head covering. In addition, my hair is almost always covered at home in a pink hair bonnet to protect my hair from the environment, at first, and then I realised it felt good to have it on while praying too, and so I made a note to do so as well. There have been times I over analysed why I wanted to use the head scarf, only to leave it around my neck in church instead of using it. I believe it was in part due to the influence of a Catholic Youtuber who over analysed it and in addition to these thoughts, I recall not liking how it altered my look, and feeling bad about it, when at home. I realised that I never considered whether it was a pious thing to do when I was home, but seemed to do so in Church. So, I concluded that I ought to veil whenever I have it. However, upon learning that the act of veiling is an unarguable good thing, I realise now that the fear that one’s heart is not right is not a good reason to stop veiling. I think the best thing to do is to thank God for revealing it, ask for God’s forgiveness, and then pray to God for a change of heart, since the good thing is ultimately your obligation to God.

When I thought of St. Paul’s words about the hair of the woman being the glory of the woman and the need to cover it in Church, I couldn’t help but consider the “black African hair” (having no better vocabulary to describe this hair type). In essence, when this hair shrinks after contact with water (what we’re supposed to do when we come in contact with God), it can lose as much as 80% or more or less of its length and in appearance, it can look quite short and small. When stretched out using a heat tool like a blow dryer, or other non-heat methods, it can become longer and voluminous; the result, dependent on the method used. In addition, frequent use of heat tools can be bad for the health of the hair. I considered that the hair which God has given to me is a modest hair, since it is made to hide majority of its glory. Most people seem drawn to whatever is loud or ‘out there’, no matter how fiercely they claim to value modesty but I see God truly loves modesty. I even failed to understand St. Paul when he called the hair, the woman’s glory, because I considered my hair and I didn’t feel that way. I don’t remember exactly what made it click for me. Maybe it was upon seeing the volume and length of another black woman’s hair that I suddenly agreed, or maybe it was something else.

Some black women, in trying to love their hair as it is (short even when stretched), have come to love what is not exactly good in of itself. Since, their hair can grow, if it is given the care that it needs and the woman is healthy. The hair just needs so much more care, gentleness and patience during manipulation than straight hair does, and it loves to be put away in low manipulation styles like cornrows, or hidden, and not overly touched or manipulated, and it loves water (echoing scripture), in order for it to thrive without breaking. It is such a delicate and precious hair.

Instead of loving the hair only because it is a gift from God, some black people, in wanting to love themselves, learnt to love the length that is not exactly their fullest potential (indeed, in this world, we are yet to know what we’ll become when face to face with God). You’ll hear in the (black) natural hair community: it’s not about length, it’s about health. But, a healthy hair should grow and retain length. Then, there’s this newer cultural acceptance of black women cutting their hair, for fashion’s sake. What is not good has become seen as fashionable because the cultural perception has changed, but in truth growing up, I remember desiring long hair, and perhaps at another time, voluminous hair, but I did not realise the chemical relaxers used in my hair prevented this from happening. It was only until I watched videos of Black Americans stop using the relaxer, grow out their hair, cut off the chemically straightened portions and suddenly have curly, voluminous hair, that I wondered if that would happen to my hair too, if I did the same. So, I did the same, and discovered the coily/curly texture of my natural hair, and I think just doing that, living it loudly on social media through hair-centred videos, praising it and encouraging it, managed to influence my mom and sister to do the same over time (at least I’d like to think it did since they followed suit).

Then, I considered an old tradition among my Igbo people: when a husband dies, a widow’s hair is shaved off with a razor blade until her head is completely bare. The reasons I have read online is that this is done to make her look unattractive during mourning, as a spiritual practice to break off all links between the woman and her deceased husband (i.e., she is no longer under the protection of the husband), a sign of mourning and grief, purification rites, a symbol of a loss of glory, tradition and social conformity. 28 years ago, this was still practiced, although, I read online that due to education, Christianity and women’s rights advocacy, many of these harsh practices are being abolished or modified in modern times. I think to myself that there’s probably still a place that practices it mandatorily. What about the men? Older generation don’t see long hair or men braiding their hair or even dreadlocks (this is associated with a spirituality), as a good thing in culture, but younger generations and artists have adopted this as though it is good. And from what I know, only the women were required to cut their hair when their spouse died.

My thought is this: since the words of St. Paul present themselves in nature, first, in my Igbo culture, though imperfect, where a woman’s hair is seen as her glory and a sign of the husband’s covering, and serves as an “innate” symbol of authority over her head (if I may put it that way since it is created by God to hide most of its glory); and second, in the way ‘black African hair’ itself has been fashioned by God to be modest and hidden, it seems wise to me to take what St. Paul said seriously as the perfect Word of God.

After learning about the Christian history and tradition of veiling, I approached my mom and pointed to an image of Our Lady of Fatima on the fridge, and asked my mom whether she knew that Christians used to dress like Mary in the past? She didn’t seem to know. As she walked away, she said, almost casually, ‘Why don’t you start dressing like her?’ She may not have meant it seriously, but unbeknownst to her, I had already been thinking about veiling full‑time and exploring what modest dressing looks like for Muslim women so I could incorporate some of it into my own wardrobe, and this was my subtle way of evangelising. The very next day, I wore a headscarf to work. I think it surprised her. She told me, ‘I saw you leave the house wearing it, but I didn’t think you’d wear it at the office. Don’t you have a dress code?’

I told her there isn’t any, thinking specifically about a code surrounding head covering. She really went ahead to say that I need to go buy different scarves so I don’t wear the same one everyday. Since, I was able to wear a scarf at work that first day, I did the same the next day and have continued ever since. I have noticed women seem to respect me more or at least this is my perception from their looks and their niceness and responsiveness. It is also possible, but not certain, that a certain hostile man became softer. I’ve started looking into varied styles of head coverings that are fashionable, which Muslim women use and have invested their time into creating for themselves. I’m still learning what modesty looks like from a modern Christian lens which may be insufficient, but I believe the Muslims have something more to offer.

I realise the directive St. Paul gave seems to only be applicable when the woman is in Church, like Pope St. Linus, who was the successor to Peter as Bishop of Rome, is said to have said, in “The Liber Pontificalis” (~530AD): “He, by direction of the blessed Peter, decreed that a woman must veil her head to come into the church”⁽¹⁾. However, I keep thinking, “aren’t the Angels present whenever I pray. And we’re exhorted to pray without ceasing, so it makes sense to keep it on at all times”. I am probably missing something here and I’m being absolutely foolish (although being foolish for Christ does appeal to me, although I’m not the strongest to be so effective at this). I’m trying to understand all of this while veiling with a head scarf.

In any case, a blogpost by Emily G shares about what the early church fathers said about head covering. Some like St. John Chrysostom (c. 347 – 407) believed veiling was not only at the time of prayer but continuously, because if it is shameful for a woman to be shaven, then it is always a reproach to be uncovered, and also because of the presence of the Angels (I interpret it to mean he believed the angels are always present)⁽¹⁾. Emily G does a rather impressive job of dissecting the Christian tradition and history of head covering right from the stories of the Old Testament, including what veiling signified, and is a much better read than this post so go check out her work here: Emily G’s work. Reading her work made me understand the value and dignity of veiling all round and the reasons why women do so.

Another person that I found helpful is the humblehousewives blogpost. I related to her comment that women who veil often feel a gut instinct or intuition telling them it’s the right thing to do in church. I also find interesting St. John Chrysostom’s viewpoint about the subjection of women under men not being there until after the fall and the subjection being the balm to restore harmony between them: your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.⁽²⁾ It appears to me, only as I understand it, that this subjection foreshadows the subjection Jesus took willingly onto Himself, in coming down from The Father to us and taking a human nature into Himself, in the Incarnation. So we say with Jesus that Jesus and The Father are One and The Father is greater than the Son. Greater does not mean superior. This hierarchy we see is only in function or roles but not in Nature or Divinity or Glory or Essence. Likewise, we can say man is greater than woman, not in nature or substance, but in order and function; and greater does not mean superior. And indeed, through Christ’s obedience to His Father’s Will, we have been reconciled to the Father. And so, God The Father has placed all things in subjection to Jesus, that at the mention of Jesus’ name, every knee shall bow, every tongue confess, that Jesus is God, to the Glory of God, The Father. So in a like fashion, in imitation of Christ, and in a unique way through their subjection under men (and ultimately under God), just as The Son subjected Himself to The Father, women are able to participate in a unique way in the cross of Christ and in His salvation of the world. This also echoes of Mother Mary and her role in salvation history. God is truly beautiful!

The common reason I’ve heard about veiling is modesty and while there’s truth to it that you appear modest if you veil, I don’t believe it is the real or full reason. This is only my musing and from what I can see by God’s grace through scripture and brief study, this is a fuller reason: Because God made the man in His Image, man is directly created in the Image of God. So, man is the Glory of God. The creation of man foreshadows the Incarnation of Christ, since The Word of God teaches Jesus is the visible Image (Glory) of the Invisible God. And we have seen His (Jesus’) glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father. The woman, however, was made by God from man’s ribs and given to man, so we can say as scripture says that the woman is the glory of man. Or we can call her the image of the man, if we consider how Jesus is called the Glory or Visible Image of God.

Likewise, He (Jesus) was in the beginning with God; all things were made through Him, and without Him was not anything made that was made. So we say with Jesus, that The Father and The Son share the same glory from before the foundation of the world. Similarly, the woman was formed from the rib of the man, and so we can say she was with him from the beginning, if we can say Levi paid tithe through Abraham to Melchizedek for he was still in Abraham’s loins. And we can say the woman has a glory that was shared with the man from the beginning of his creation. So, she is made in the image of God through man.⁽³⁾ “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” St. Paul demystifies what the glory given to woman is, and tells us the hair is the glory of the woman “given” to her for a covering.

The goal of the Christian life, in imitation of Christ, is to decrease so God can increase. So, man decreases in glory in the presence of God, when the woman’s hair is covered since she is his glory and her hair is her glory which she has by extension through man, and the woman also participates in this jointly by a voluntary exercise of the will when she covers up her glory, so that in the presence of God, only God’s glory which is man, is visible and magnified in the Assembly of God. This has nothing to do with the importance of the man or the woman, but everything to do with the magnification of the glory of God. Indeed we can say with Mother Mary, “My soul glorifies/magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour”.

This is why I hesitate in receiving the explanation that the Angels mentioned by St. Paul mean anything other than Angels. Although it is possible in a non-literal sense that Angels could mean priests or holy men. I am just too jaded by my experiences to accept that women should veil so she does not provoke lust in a man, and less inclined to believe it since Jesus said if your eyes causes you to sin, gouge it out, and He took on the form of a man and still said that. So, I believe the onus is on the man to do something about it and to draw closer to God. Because if not, even if a woman covers her hair, her eyes would be the next point of contention or her mouth or her voice or even her presence, if she is all the way covered up. We ought to be able to view each other with purity of heart, if we dwell in Christ. While I agree that the loving thing for a woman to do is to be modest in dressing, I could say the same for a man’s hair being the source of temptation to the woman or some other masculine feature. But I would not expect the man to cover his hair or stop talking or close his eyes, because it could tempt me to sin. Instead, I close my eyes, and draw closer to God in prayer. And there is no end to the list of things that can distract a person, even our individual selves, but we do not demonise ourselves. I just don’t think that explanation will yield lasting fruit if used.

However, if Ambrosiaster’s viewpoint which centres on God is to be taken, it becomes agreeable to me: “The veil signifies power, and the angels are bishops, as it says in the Revelation of John, where, because they are men, they are criticized for not rebuking the people, though good behavior on their part is also praised. A woman therefore ought to cover her head, because she is not the likeness of God (I take this to mean directly since she is made from man’s rib by God, and is the likeness of God because of man, as Ambrosiaster explained) but is under subjection. Because transgression began with her, she ought to indicate this by covering her head in church out of reverence for the bishop. Nor should she speak, because the bishop takes the place of Christ. In front of him, and because he is the representative of Christ, she ought to appear as she would before a judge, as one under subjection, because of the way the sin of which we are guilty originated.“⁽³⁾ It is best to read this with a spirit of love and understanding rather than offence.

So, while I can agree it is modest to cover up the hair, I can agree it is modest, only in direct relation to God and the revelation of His glory.

I also hesitate to accept the explanation that sacred things are covered and that is why women should cover their hair since they are sacred vessels able to bring forth life. Men are holy temples of The Holy Spirit and through their self-sacrificial love are able to give life. So, man and woman are complementary in function and share in the same glory. The explanation seems to me to serve to make women feel so precious, though they are in Christ, same as men, but I don’t think it will produce a lasting effect since it is not centred on God and His glory.

Funny enough, I have had the desire in the past to be able to wear a scarf wherever I am going to, so as not to bother with elaborate styling of my hair or wearing a wig, and there are days when I’m out and about, including while travelling through airports, that I have used the head scarf, although never as a full covering after getting to work, prior to a little over a week now.

I regret liking IG posts about banning hijabs. At the time, I couldn’t see that banning the hijab could be akin to forcing those women to go around naked and exposed, because I did not understand the true depth or dignity behind the wearing of a head covering, because I was oblivious that it had roots in God and that it was a part of my Christian heritage. I only saw it as an Islamic tool with negative connotations. I suppose also because there is a perversion in me which God is rooting out. I am quite remorseful about my poor behaviour. However, I still don’t think the reason imposed on them to cover their hair is holy, and the coercion to wear the hijab is not right, but I believe it is the right and dignity of every woman to cover her hair since this is a gift from God for women. The acceptance of His gift is an acceptance of His Divine Order of creation, that the man came first and has authority over the woman, and the woman was formed from the man and for the man, although in Christ, the man is not independent of the woman since she gives birth to the man, and neither is the woman independent of the man, and all are from God.

So, muslim women who wears a head covering give glory to God, even though this is imperfect, they do not really understand the reason behind it and they do not belong to Jesus Christ in a voluntary way through the exercise of their will, however, they belong to Christ in Divine Justice, through Conquest by the Cross and through Nature by His Divinity. Because the framework of their religion lacks the complementarity between genders or equality in dignity of men and women in Christ Jesus, there exists in their religion, a perversion in the enforcement of this head covering. This is why in some majority Islamic countries, there are cases where the men over-exert their dominance over women, even to the loss of lives of muslim women who fail to follow this rule, because this order is meant as much for women as it is for men. Where Christians get it wrong is when they ignore that the teachings of the bible on this Divine order implies only a difference in office or roles and not in value or nature, since all are one in Christ, and if we thoroughly study the relationship between Jesus and The Father through scripture (especially in John at the last supper), we will gain better insight as to how this relationship flows well. In addition, from a Catholic and Orthodox standpoint alone, the presence of the Angels in the Church, especially during Worship or the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, who love God’s Order, compels women to wear a head covering in Church out of reverence for them.

I don’t think women covering their hair will stop men from lusting after women or that even women dressing modestly would change that. Because being a child in primary school or secondary school didn’t protect me from the perversion in men and boys alike that I experienced, and it didn’t matter that I was too young or lacked understanding or dressed modestly, or lived in a country where at the time women still dressed modestly. This is not to say that I am devoid of perversion within me but to say these were unwanted, unencouraged, and I lacked the basic understanding or awareness of the body or of what was happening or why it was happening. Nowadays, women expose their bodies, unconscious to the truth that it is the body parts which are precious, delicate and intimate that are protected and are invested in with greater honor. And also, the love of your neighbour compels you to dress more modestly so they don’t fall into sin (here, I refer to both men and women). There is the possibility also, that an innate modesty of hair and the exterior sign of the modesty of the hair covering, may not translate to interior modesty or purity of heart. This is why we all need Jesus to be transformed from heathens to new men and women in Christ Jesus.

Liking those IG posts wasn’t my finest moment, and it was troubling and humbling to realise it, but I’m thankful to God for calling me back to repentance, for enlightening me and for everything. He has done so much for me.

On a final note, pray the Rosary and entrust yourself to Jesus through Mary through the method of St. Louis Marie de Montfort! And if you need help with this entrustment/consecration to Jesus through Mary, look up the course provided by the Heralds of the Gospel on their Reconquest Platform. It is a solid 33-day course.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool. Google AI was used as a research tool.

(1) Gossard Emily (2024). Christian Tradition of Head Coverings for Women

(2) Humblehousewives’ Blog – Wait do Catholic women have to veil

(3) What did ambrosiaster believe about head covering

Bonus Reference you can also read: What did Saint Augustine believe about head covering

If it was up to me…

Holiness

Posted on January 18, 2026 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

The meaning of holiness has been blurred by some Christians such that you may hear phrases such as holy Muslim, holy Jew or holy non-Christian. Could it be a lack of vocabulary or perhaps the snare of the tongue or a trap they have fallen into? Whatever the case may be, when such language is presented without careful reflection, they risk confusing or misleading Catholics and Christian denominations about what holiness truly means.

Those who know and live the truth of the Bible understand that our righteous acts are like “filthy rags” to God. Our good actions resemble a child’s crude drawing, treasured not because of its artistic merit, but because the parent loves the child. The drawing has value only because the parent gives it value, simply because it is the work of their beloved child. In a similar way, the righteousness Christians possess is not a holiness that arises from their own “good” efforts. It is a holiness given to they who in and through Jesus have been adopted as heirs of God with Him. We who are a Holy Nation, believe we are saved by grace through faith; it is entirely God’s gift through Jesus, so that no one may boast in themselves or in their works. The righteous or holy actions of Christians do have merit, but only because Jesus Himself gives them merit. In Jesus, Christians have the justification of a clean conscience before God. Moreover, if The Law being perfect in Itself, could not save imperfect men, because of man’s carnality and sinfulness, how far away are those who neither have nor follow The Law? Although, none is too far gone for God’s grace.

One might say, what about the gentile Cornelius and his household? However, he was described as a devout man who feared God and who gave alms liberally and prayed constantly to God, and the bible explains that to fear God is to keep His Commandments, and the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and to know God is to have understanding. “Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man“, “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul…“. Cornelius was a man predisposed by God’s grace to accept Jesus the moment He heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to convert because He had wisdom and understanding, because he truly loved God, not an audio love but an actionable love; and God does not discriminate.

That said, it is difficult to understand how anyone can read a passage like Romans 11 and still insist that it is impossible to fall from grace through disobedience or grave sin, or to be cut off from God, even after having been claimed by Him. The text itself makes the distinction: God’s gifts and call are irrevocable, meaning “once claimed, you are always claimed”, but this is not the same as “once saved, always saved”, since St. Paul himself warns plainly, “For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you.Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God’s kindness to you, provided you continue in His kindness; otherwise you too will be cut off.”

There is hope if you repent, and God can graft you back in for sure, as St. Paul continues in the passage with hope: “And even the others, if they do not persist in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again.”

Why, then, do some insist they remain saved regardless of their actions? Is it ignorance of Scripture, or a difference in language they use or a fear of acknowledging the seriousness of their unrepentant sins, because acknowledging that truth might force them into despair or a crisis of faith?

If they do not believe for the sake of St. Paul, they should believe The Words of Jesus, “Every branch of mine that bears no fruit, He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already made clean by the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me”.

Jesus is the True Vine, we are the branches and His Father is The Vine Dresser. It is the branch which Jesus claimed for Himself that His Father cuts off because it does not bear fruit. In John, Jesus also said, “If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned“. Given The Words of Jesus which will never fade away and will be fulfilled for all eternity, how is it that there are groups who claim to follow Jesus, who still say, “once saved, always saved”?

If I were to be even more critical, I’d say that the ones who are doing this are wicked in heart or they have been misguided by others to the point that their action has become wicked without them suspecting it. If they were to have children who stole obscene amounts from them daily, or had orgies in their homes every night despite knowing it is not allowed in their homes, being unrepentant and unwilling to change, they would kick those children out. The children do not stop being children, since they have a mother and father, but they are cut off and will not reap all the material benefits of being children unless they reform; albeit they may benefit materially or spiritually leading to their reform or if they remain unrepentant, they cannot be trusted to an inheritance. Even the prodigal son repented before his father reconciled with him (ran out to meet him), because in reality when we sin, we are turning away from God and saying we do not want God, and the prodigal son, in returning (wanting his father), repented. How much more should we want better for God? Where is the zeal and love for God to suggest such a thing?

I will use another analogy from a real life situation which I watched on IG. It was a video of a mother and her sons. Both sons played in the mud that day and came home caked in mud, wanting to be let into their home. Their mom didn’t discourage their play but was firm in refusing them entry, since they would track mud into the house and cause havoc to their house and drain. They were instructed to be hosed down in their yard with cold water to get rid of as much mud as possible before going in, despite the younger son pleading. People applauded the mom for being sensible. So, it is not that people are not able to see the sense in being barred entry from your parent’s home, because they know love does not mean a lack of sense. You can even apply this to the topic of purgatory, although it is something different being purged in purgatory, though still uncleanliness. So, how much more should we wish the best for God? When it comes to God, there are people that would like to skip repentance and reconciliation to relationship. It is a disordered thought or desire to want that for God. My hope for them is that they find their love and their zeal for God. This is a case of false compassion where the offender is loved more than the One offended and what a great injustice this is! If indeed salvation happens once and one is saved forever, as opposed to being a process, why do we continue to sin?

In God’s providence, the virtues we fail to live out as Christians often reappear in other places, and that makes me believe that this is the reason ideologies which are anti-Christ are allowed to exist. For example, Muslims sometimes embody values such as discipline in prayer, modesty, or even a wife’s respectful submission to her husband that Christians themselves have neglected, even though they don’t get everything right. In the same way, an unbeliever may show generous or self-sacrificial or servant leadership towards his spouse while some Catholics or Christians fall short of that calling, though it may not be perfect. And among Protestants, there appears a visible confidence in faith that Catholics can at times seem to lack, even though Protestants, too, can go astray when personal desires overshadow God’s will.

It appears to me that everywhere Catholics have failed, God remains Sovereign and shows no partiality, and as such, God is glorified through His Creation, whether they are Catholic or a Christian denomination or neither. I also sense that unbelievers reveal to Christians the very areas where we fall short. Their unwitting witness can become a call to repentance to our benefit, though we may just as easily remain blind to it, to our condemnation. In the end, everything will come to a head on judgement day, and it seems they will rise up and condemn Christians who were supplied all the grace of God and yet did not live with more fidelity to God. This is not a new message. It takes inspiration from Jesus’ words: “The queen of the South will arise at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here”. As baptised Christians, you have received something greater. How much more a Baptised Catholic who has received other Sacraments? And even so, the persecution I see approaching the Catholic Church arises from our own unfaithfulness, yet it is also permitted by God to purify us and draw us back to deeper fidelity. Through all of it, I see God’s love at work. The words of Pope St. Pius V suddenly makes sense to me: All the evils of the world are due to lukewarm Catholics.

It is easy to admire the virtues of an unbeliever but at the end of the day, any group of people who reject Jesus as God Incarnate, God’s Anointed One, the Messiah, the Christ, God’s Son, are the anti-Christ and liars since they deny The Father and The Son. If anyone professes the Bible to be The Word of God, and claims to have the Mind of Christ, they would believe this too.

In any case, do not be deceived or fall into the trap of thinking any human is holy apart from abiding in Jesus.

That said, are we not obligated to God, as Christians, to carry out the works which correspond to the faith we profess? And when we have done so, should we not thank God Who enabled us to be able to do so one more time, since God supplies us with the grace/ability to even begin or carry on or to finish. “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that One died for all, and therefore all died.And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.” “Likewise, my brethren, you have died to The Law through the Body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to Him who has been raised from the dead in order that we may bear fruit for God.”

I fell into the trap of thinking that I would not suffer in my dream or in my mind or in my body any unwanted, intrusive impurity, if I am in a state of grace and I pray and I stay away from all that is impure. Though these are good things to do and the reward will be reaped in full in the future and in eternity, and even now, the benefit of it is already evident to me, all by God’s grace; it is just not the right heart to have, and I didn’t even realise I held such belief until it was revealed. I have come to realise that though the body has some value, the soul has more value for the present moment and for all eternity, and so I had to learn a lesson in detaching my mind from what happens to my body and trusting that I am still in Jesus. In fact, when I consider the life I have led, it is indeed necessary that I suffer in my body for my actions. What a privilege! For this is God’s Mercy to me and this is not forever.

A recent word I’ve embraced, one that has guarded me from confusion and kept my love for God from growing cold under stress and doubt, is this: I am cleansed by Jesus’ Words when I read the Bible (John 15:3), when I attend Mass and the Bible (His Word) is read or proclaimed over me, when I pray. In the same way, I can also believe that I am cleansed when I adore or pray before His Real Presence in the Holy Eucharist (Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity) during Adoration/Benediction. I can also believe that I am cleansed when I receive Him, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, in Holy Communion. I am already cleansed by Jesus. And even though I am well aware of my unworthiness, struggling to see any good in me, a greater Truth exists, that I am already cleansed by Jesus. So, I must abide in Jesus and draw near to Him, if I am to be of any good.

I only say this while knowing that by God’s grace, I am already in a state of grace. Yet, this does not replace the Sacrament of Confession, a gift which Christ entrusted to His Church as a means of reconciliation and restoration, especially when a person is in mortal sin. To those who believe in all God has revealed through Jesus, this is true. To those who do not, it may provoke offense or indignation. But, the reality of the sacrament does not depend on human approval. It stands because Christ Himself established it: “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”. And all arguments against Christ will die to the Glory of God and in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool.

A great song!

For An Increase in Faith

Posted on January 4, 2026 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone. Remember to pray the Rosary!

I suppose I should say Happy New Year, or rather, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all. The future feels overwhelmingly long, so I’m choosing to follow Jesus’ words and focus on today, because each day has enough worries of its own. I’m thankful to God for His forgiveness, for helping me to keep praying, for holding me close, and for never letting me go. I’m aware of how often I fall short in loving Him as I should. It is a source of unhealthy grief and I don’t believe it helps me, however, my knowledge of what helps me is limited, so there is a chance that even in this conclusion, I am wrong. Since, in all things, God works for good, for those who love Him. Life moves so quickly, so I’m trying to take things slower and to be at peace with the things I cannot control.

I wrote most of this post, perhaps on the first week of last December, but never got around to sharing it. I’m glad I finally am.

This is a post about faith. It feels connected with a recent encounter I had with a man on a plane on the eve of Christmas, who’d introduced himself as Anglican, whom I’d come to realise was lacking in faith, love and perhaps, hope. I was moved to pray for him and his family, and as well for an increase in faith in myself; not that the encounter led me to doubt but because I know I am not infallible. After this prayer, I soon realized that I too, through a lack of knowledge and unaddressed doubt or should I say “confusion”, was lacking in faith. It was ugly but thanks to God, it did not last, because it is the very nature of faith to carry on even when knowledge lags behind, and I am grateful for the ministry of reconciliation. So here I am, praying that Jesus saves me from this body of death. Thanks be to God, for He has loved me enough to show me, so I know His work is not finished yet.

To have faith when you have been let down over and over again is not an easy thing to do. I don’t think I was always skeptical. I think it became my defense mechanism against the lies I was always so gullible to believe growing up, lies that did not even make sense. I believe it played a role in me falling out of faith when I became much older, although I cannot say it was the only reason. In a world full of deception, selfishness, cruelty, disregard for life and limitations, it is better to put your faith in God, who is Truth, Love, Life and Unchanging, than to put your faith in man.

The bible says, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for. The conviction of things not seen”. I recall writing a post about the point of life a little close to five years ago, April 4, 2021, to be exact (as seen in my notes). This was at a time I had returned back to a belief in God, as more of a unshakable conviction than a logical conclusion. I must add that no matter what logical conclusion one has, without a conviction, one is not able to come to faith, because not everything is seen or known, no matter how smart the argument sounds for the existence of God; this is because we are quite foolish after all, and the wisdom of men is foolishness to God. Once one has faith, all other argument contrary to the existence of God, or suggestions that it is impossible to know, becomes utter foolishness and is rejected with a vim, “God forbid”. This is because it is the character of faith to know, with a conviction reverberating throughout your very being, without knowing everything.

In any case, I read my writing from years ago and it seemed bizarre to me. I am also uncertain in totality what I believed in, since I did not see any point of life back then, even after believing in God. From reading my writing, I can only conclude that I lacked hope. I also lacked the things which people would typically state as the point of life, and what I did have, was so distant, that I could not latch on to the idea of it. From a place of poverty, I’d set out to write out my thoughts in order to prove that there was no meaning to life, however, by God’s providence, I ended up proving to myself, logically, that God exists.

I argued back then that the actual search for a point to life is futile because if life did not exist, there would be no search for its meaning. To my mind back then, the idea of a point to life only stemmed from life’s existence so, it was inaccurate for people to say helping others is in essence what gives life meaning, because the point to life could not stem from the actions of the people existing. I believed life’s point had to exist outside of life and demand that life functions in the way it was created to function. And so, if we were to ascribe to life, an External Creator who determines life’s function, then, the Creator’s Will becomes the point of life. The rest of my writing went quite dark and ended with me saying life seemed pretty pointless.

Back then, I held up 2 possibilities if we were to consider an External Creator. The first possibility was that humans are high functioning beings with wants and desires. As a result, the need for choice could not be escaped because of that very design. However, if the idea of the Creator’s Will being the point of life is the standard, this idea strips an individual of the individual’s will, leaving that individual a shell waiting to be commanded and nothing more. Just like a remote control cannot argue about the reason for its existence. The second possibility was that it is the Creator’s Will that we exist exactly as we have been created, complex and different, free to make our decisions and chase our desires, (I believe I thought this was as long as it did not go against The Creator’s Will, although I cannot be certain of this addition as I have inserted it as I’m writing this, and I distrust my memory), and when we can no more, to die, in a natural process or circle of life. When I considered that, I concluded that the point to life could possibly be defined as the sum of all we amount to or our fate in life. I considered how unfair and uncertain fate is and decided that life seemed pretty pointless. I believed people confused the point to life with what I termed “anchors to life” or reasons for living, such as family, love, friendship etc. I considered that perhaps there was more out there, a world that we are unaware of, but even if we gained all of that knowledge, it would not really matter or change the situation of the world. The way I saw it, I was lucky to have my family, and if that luck persevered, maybe I would have the love I desired. So, for one who’d thought I’d come back to Christ, I had come to a worldly conclusion.

I have come to a third possibility, I believe through God’s providence, which builds on truth within the first and the second possibilities, which I believe is true: If life did not exist, there would be no search for its meaning. The idea that there is a point to life only stems from the very fact that life exists. The point of life cannot be derived from the actions of the people existing as a primary principle, since if life did not exist, there will be no search for its meaning. Life’s point has to exist outside of life and demand that life functions in the way it was created to function. So, we can consider the Force or Power that exists outside of life and demands that life functions the way it has been created, an Immortal Creator (God), able to drive life in the direction He pleases. We can deduce from how precise and intricate creation is that there are no accidents and as such, there must be a clear plan for creation. In our human understanding, we would call a device that fails to do what it was created to do, “faulty”. However if the creator of a device dies, the device does not lose the meaning for its creation and if not faulty, is able to continue existing after its creator is dead. Without God, we would have no meaning since everything will cease to exist. From this point of view of our existence in relationship with God, it suggests that God is the Uncreated Primary Cause, and His creation are created secondary causes.

Humans have been created to be high functioning and complex, having wants and desires, the ability to search out the meaning of its creation, and to participate in it as a driving force. This reveals God’s desire that we have our own will, in order that we choose. However, since God is Creator, He has designed us to exist in the manner we have been created to exist. In order for creation to be, there has to be God’s Design and God’s Law for His creation, which humans participate in as a driving force. It follows that choosing God’s Will keeps us in God’s design, but rejecting God’s Will, throws us out of God’s design for us. To be able to choose at all God’s Will or to reject God’s Will, we would need to know what God’s Will is. This need we have to know of God and His desires, reveals that there is a type of relationship that God desires with humans.

In addition, when one considers that an all-powerful God created the universe, desired humans to know Him, and gave us the free will to choose; I suppose this gives evidence of the nature of God, which is Pure Love, because given the choice, humans can love you or hate you. God chose that vulnerability. God being Love itself, did not force us to love Him out of compulsion even if it meant we could reject Him. This reveals another nature of Love. Love is not driven by the need of one party over the detriment of the other party. So, The Creator has to be a God infinitely more powerful than we can imagine to create the universe, and irrevocably Love to have created us.

It could not be a sadistic situation either for human beings to choose God’s will, given that when one reaches discernment of what love is, we know that Love is pure, Love is good, Love is truth, Love is life, Love wills the best for you, Love is joyful, Love never ends. I can conclude from the nature of love that in living according to God’s will, humans were joyful and full of life at some point. If you consider our current human experience, you will see evidence of a lack of joy, a lack of truth and an abundance of death because of lies, selfishness, cruelty and a disregard for life. It is possible to discern that something must have happened to us to bring about this change from love, joy and life, to what it is now. Something that took us away from God’s will for us. Something that made us broken.

If you look into all the stories in the world which speak of God, none of them relates the nature of God from the point of view of God creating us, in a way that gives a snapshot of God’s Power, Love, Vulnerability, Care, Purity and Loving Relationship with created things, like the God of the Bible does. Nothing else fits.

The Bible, in Genesis explains that our first parents (Adam and Eve) went against God’s will. As a result of this, sin and death came into world, and today we suffer the consequence of those actions. In essence, all the evil, sickness, death and bad that you see in this world is a consequence of sin. The Old testament tells a story of a God who loved the world so much, He set a plan in motion the moment humans sinned and fell away from His Design, in order to save them, because He is a God that does not rejoice in the death of the wicked. In His Divine Plan, He set apart a people for Himself (Israel) through whom He gave the world a Divine Law (The Ten Commandments).

The problem with sin is that it corrupts everything, and one of those things corrupted is the human intellect and the human will. As a result, after the fall, humans did whatever they felt was right in their eyes, which did not necessarily mean it was good, because on the one hand, humans enjoy sinning, and on the other hand, it can sometimes be hard to discern because of the darkened intellect, and also, we do the things that we do not want to do because of a weakened will. God knew the people He set apart for Himself were imperfect, unable to keep the Law, but it was necessary to give the Law so that what is sin may be revealed through the transgression of His Law, so that we come to knowledge of the gravity of sin which is death, so that God’s Justice and Mercy is magnified and so that humans stop destroying themselves and others. We are like foolish toddlers set on killing ourselves through our interaction with the world around us.

Through the Law and the Prophets God provided, He prepared a people for the coming of the Perfect Sacrifice to take away the sin of the world, Jesus Christ. And through the perfect everlasting sacrifice of Jesus Christ, His Son, in the likeness of sinful man, sin was condemned in the flesh. If sin is not condemned, God is not Just, but if there is no mercy, God is not merciful. This is why Christ’s sacrifice is the One Perfect Sacrifice. Jesus received the justice for our sins. Hence, those who have died in the flesh with Christ and now have new life through Christ’s resurrection, have their sins washed away, a regeneration of a new heart and have received an outpouring of the Spirit of God; the Spirit of adoption as heirs of God, being co-heirs with Jesus Christ.

What great love God has for us that while we were still sinners, He sent His Son into the world knowing that He would be killed by humans because the world hates all that is Good, Pure and Holy. Through Jesus’ entry into the world, we see that suffering is an inescapable part of existing in a broken world, but there is dignity and purpose in suffering well, when united with Jesus’ suffering. Through Jesus’ obedience and His sacrifice, God lifted Him up and gave Him a name that is above any other name. So, we know with a knowing that is conviction, a gift from God, that if we live through Him, In Him and With Him, we have the justification of a clean conscience before God, a crown of glory and immortality in God’s presence, where there is fullness of life and peace.

From this third possibility, I can see in fact, that the point of life is relationship with God, and from what I have come to know and believe, I can see that this relationship can only be through Jesus Christ, His Son.

Relationship does not negate religion. It is through the system of religion which Jesus Himself instituted, in establishing His Church, through Peter, “the rock”, and supported by the Apostles, the pillars of the Catholic Church, in a succession that spans nearly two (2) millennia, that we are able to have a relationship with God through Jesus.

The bible points out religious practices which are pleasing to God and those that are not. It never said religion is bad. So, if you’ve heard religion is bad, do a complete 180 and drop such foolish beliefs and doubt the ones or groups that told you that. There might be no malice from them but there is plenty foolishness and a blind man cannot lead a blind man. To accept such a teaching signals a spirit that craves sugary goodness without the pain of submission to authority and yes, there is pain that comes with submission. You are not able to reach pure love of God there or anywhere else other than the Church Jesus founded, which is the ONE, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. That is, if this is your desire.

Old testament:

Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?

New testament:

Jesus speaking: And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church (singular), and the powers of death shall not prevail against it.

If any one thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this man’s religion is vain. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool.

A great song to listen to!

Discernment

Posted on November 24, 2025 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

Discernment is a gift from God, and this gift will save you from being in horrible situations. How are we to know who to listen to? How are we to know what is good?

We hear Jesus say in the Bible that, “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure produces evil; for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.“.

In another passage, Jesus says this: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? So, every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit. A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits.“

From Jesus’ words, I can only discern that Jesus cautions me to be careful about people who come to me in His Name and that I am to look to the words spoken by these people and their actions to discern what is in their hearts. Such caution, I will also apply to myself in discerning my heart, for it is necessary that I know myself, so that I too may come to repentance.

In my encounter with the content of a Catholic association whose content I follow and engage with, and in learning about the scandal that surrounds them, I have been given the opportunity by God to learn how to apply such caution, without an active awareness I was doing so. The Catholic organisation taught me and imparted so much good. I do not recall whether I learned of the scandals during the first period of being taught by them or after; I remain uncertain. Yet I found it difficult to believe they were the evil spoken of, even though I could not be sure and at times felt suspicion because of the scandal, to my shame and repentance. There are certain practices of theirs that I believe would serve them well not to continue, though none are inherently evil, and as well, my assessment of what might serve them could be wrong. The richness of the good that has come from their mouths, combined with the impression I have that they seem not to have been touched by evil or darkness has deeply influenced me to believe they are good (though perhaps this is only evidence that Jesus has transformed them so profoundly that their senses reflect this, without this being the truth of their life experiences).

I asked Mary whether they are good, and I believe I prayed for the vindication of their founder if he was indeed a good man, though my memory is not entirely clear. Even after discovering the past scandals, I did not stop watching them. I wondered how they could produce so much good and have such a good influence on me, leading me to Mary, Jesus and my repentance, and so I chose to accept the good they offered. I wished they would defend or explain themselves, but I never found any explanation, even when I searched for it. Recently, however, they released a book presenting evidence of the wrongs done to them, the damage to their reputation, along with their defense and supporting facts. They have endured much at the hands of Church authorities and others, yet bore it all patiently and gracefully for years. They are known as the Heralds of the Gospel.

The struggle to judge rightly extends to the consideration of the saints. Where one views sainthood as unattainable, another thinks it is okay to attempt to bring the saints down to their own level. Both communicate a level of despair the individuals may be unaware of; the latter greater than the former. While the saints were just like you and I, they were also not regular. Even if they had quirks, those quirks were probably not evil, because in them you have to look at the intent of their hearts, which only God is able to see. And even if they sinned, they definitely repented. Repentance is a gift from God and it is not easy for everyone to receive it, although we might tend to think it is because it feels so a lot of times. The ego is such a terrible thing and it can get in the way of repentance.

I suppose the private lives of the saints speak the loudest when they have passed on from this world, and the righteous will live forever. So, I agree wholeheartedly that the intent of the heart of a man should be taken into account when passing judgement. In fact, I believe seeking clarity should go first before making a judgement. Although, it is not always easy. The intent matters. Where one would speak or write using quotes from people, and does so from a place of pride to show knowledge, another does so because of a belief that the quote is already perfect and nothing else needs to be added. In another instance, another kneels to receive communion out of an obligation they feel to God, while another does so to look pious. Another wears a scarf to church because it is a cultural thing and it seems like a good thing to do, and another does the same to look pious. It is better to not pass judgement at all, because there is a tendency to be wrong and fall short in the same manner as well, though not always easy. Other times, there are matters that judge themselves.

Discernment also extends to the contemplation of the gravity of sins. It does not seem equal to me to compare the silence of someone in the company of one or two strangers, whom they have perceived to have rejected their Christian upbringing, with the silence of a teacher or a person of influence who remains silent before a multitude, where they should speak. Though both may be wrong depending on how one reads hearts. The unknown individual may yet have another chance to speak to those strangers at a moment when they are more open to listening, receiving the words at the level where they are at. By contrast, it may be far more difficult to reach again, a multitude, who have encountered media shared in an indefinite way, and have been led astray by it. I am learning that wisdom lies in discerning the right time and place to speak, and in seizing the opening when it presents itself, accompanied by prayer. Discernment is not easy.

I will not condemn a repentant person. Neither will I condemn a sinner. Yet, I will speak to the spirit driving a man’s actions, so that in speaking, the Holy Spirit may bring them to repentance. For as long as breath remains in their lungs, God still desires their repentance.

It is also discernment to know that if from the time of St. Augustine it was considered wise to use a certain kind of language and that language endured for about 1,600 years, it remains wise in our time to use the same language. And if the Saints, through the centuries, continued to affirm this language, yet it is suddenly no longer accepted today, it could very well be that the people have grown proud and are bellyfull. I say this only because Wisdom is not only unchanging, “Wisdom is unfading”.

I recall the first time I went through “True Devotion to Mary” by St. Louis Marie de Montfort, during my consecration course to Jesus through Mary. I, in the fullness of my pride, could not take in the words he used, because I saw them as demeaning. They came across to me as harsh and excessive. The second time I read it, a year later upon renewing my consecration, none of my previous objections were evident, because a healing had taken place by God’s grace, even without me realising, and I could finally take in more goodness and wisdom from God.

Being that I have completely accepted the worldview that is from the bible, I have discerned that there are only two worldviews; simplistic and foolish to the wisdom of the world. There is the worldview that is rooted in God and is good, and there is the worldview that is rooted in the world and which is evil. They are distinct from each other even if people play grays. The heart of everything spells out the truth and being human we may fall short in our discernment of what is good and what is evil.

I shall recount what I remember of my worldview during the period of time that I did not believe in God. Keep in mind, this is my memory and I may be mistaken in certain details. In those days, I believed myself to be smarter than everyone else. Yet the worldview I held was evil, foolish and base. I regarded God as an abstract idea, present in the grass or in beauty scattered throughout creation, but not as a God Who draws near and dwells with us. I recall having a thought and seeing the thought as a tweet afterwards and so I believed everyone was in a simulation and we were all being programmed to be a hive mind, to believe the same thing, and quite possibly being watched by someone or something or something like that. I also thought it is possible there is some being out there powerless to stop horrible things from happening but watching it all play out. To me, there was no right or wrong, no good or bad. Still, I conceded that such categories were necessary for order, so that people would not destroy each other, faster than was going on. I thought I was free, as though scales had fallen from my eyes and I could finally see things clearly for the first time, and I felt intensely free. It is the reason I do not trust feelings. I believed I had been conditioned from childhood to believe certain things as right and certain things as wrong. My reasoning against killing in a general way, was simply that life belonged to the individual, without ever asking why that made life itself precious. In that world view, I mostly did not feel the pain of others, but felt mine deeply. And even in my sorrow for the world, it was a perverse kind of selfishness lacking true compassion. Some may say that I believed in a god since I worshipped myself or science, but I maintain that I did not believe in God. For if this is the yardstick of measuring whether someone believes in God or in a god, then a lot of Christians should be labelled as idolaters.

How could one so base abandon such a worldview and embrace one so utterly contrary, if not by the power of God?

“For to know God is complete righteousness, and to know God’s power is the root of immortality.”

Indeed, it was a reckoning with God’s power and God’s infiniteness, and as well my recognition of my littleness, by the Grace of God, through the scriptures, that I was able to come back from such evil.

Though we possess infinite freedom to say and do as we please, it is better to refrain from sharing a personal opinion when it stands against the gospel, because it can rightly make one wonder about the heart of the speaker. Once a person has been led astray by another’s words, it is only prudent to recalibrate and listen with caution when that same voice speaks again. Yet caution does not mean love has diminished. On the contrary, it is a deeper lesson in how to love well: to practice patience and silence when the moment calls for it, and to reject evil when it is presented as good that should be accepted. Love is not an uncritical acceptance of someone’s words since scripture commands us to test all spirits to see whether they are of God and warns us to not believe all spirits. It is not wrong to have a healthy distrust of people and oneself. This way, truth is preserved, love is purified, and true compassion echoes throughout eternity.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool.

Have a listen!

Ave Maria, Gratia Plena

Posted on November 17, 2025 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone. Remember to pray the Rosary!

It’s been a long time since my last post. These days, I feel as though I’m moving between keeping my head above water, walking on solid ground and living in Heaven. I believe there is a saint who said one must walk on earth and live in Heaven. I understand subtly without grasping the full depth of what he meant.

Recently, I have considered the idea of detaching from what is good. Initially, it annoyed me to hear of this spoken, because to my thinking, I wondered why anyone should desire a dysfunction. However, I’ve come to think that one must detach from all things evil, sinful and worldly, and in addition all things good because it must be the only way to reach a pure love of God.

Some overstate the importance of understanding over the power of love. However, give me an army of 10 men who truly have pure love of God, or no…give me less with such pure love, over 300 men who do not have pure love and have only supposed understanding.

Love led me to Mary and God willing, Love will keep me there.

For a while, I misunderstood the dogma of the “Immaculate Conception” even extending into a period of time past my reversion to the Catholic Faith which happened about 3 years ago. I thought the Immaculate Conception referred to Conception of Jesus. I learnt afterwards that it was about Mary. My brother who is more knowledgeable than me about the intellectual aspect of the faith did not know this as well, to my surprise, until I told him around last Christmas with so much joy. I don’t think anyone would think that it is inappropriate to speak of the term “Immaculate Conception” because it could potentially cause confusion. This is because it is a Dogma of the Church given through the teaching office of the Church and we are obedient to the Church. I believe I only learnt about the other 3 dogmas coincidentally recently (God’s providence) due to the recent bout of confusion that swept through the Church, although I had said them for a while now as part of a Marian devotion, “The Little Crown of the Blessed Virgin Mary”.

I listened to a priest, who to me seemed to boast to be an expert in Mariology, say the average Catholic cannot recite the creed if asked to do so and yet lacking knowledge, they gave objections to the doctrinal note released by the church. His words did not inspire confidence in me.

I could not help but wonder about the other times the term “co-redemptrix” has been used by the Church. My research brought me to the Papal encyclical written by St. Pius X (Pope, canonized saint) Ad Diem Illum Laetissimum No.12, which evokes the underlying meaning of co-redemptrix (click on the link for the full text): “…And from this community of will and suffering between Christ and Mary she merited to become most worthily the Reparatrix of the lost world (Eadmeri Mon. De Excellentia Virg. Mariae, c. 9) and Dispensatrix of all the gifts that Our Savior purchased for us by His Death and by His Blood.”

I think to myself, if the term “co-redemptrix” is never appropriate to use, what is to be said about the title of Mary as the Reparatrix of the lost world, or the dispensatrix of all the gifts that Our Saviour purchased for us by His Death and by His Blood, taken from an encyclical that comes from the authentic Magisterium of the Church.

I also came across a quote of St. Augustine referenced in the Book by St. Bonaventure titled, “Mirror of the Blessed Virgin Mary” which states: “O truly blessed humility of Mary, who brought forth the Lord to men, gave life to mortals, renewed the heavens, purified the world, opened paradise, and delivered the souls of men from hell.”. This kind of language indicates a theological view where Mary’s role is a necessary, though subordinate complement to Christ’s unique redemptive work. This is the way St. Louis Marie de Montfort describes it in “True Devotion to Mary”: “Secondly, we must conclude that, being necessary to God by a necessity which is called “hypothetical”, (that is, because God so willed it), the Blessed Virgin is all the more necessary for men to attain their final end. Consequently we must not place devotion to her on the same level as devotion to the other saints as if it were merely something optional.“.

A YouTuber claimed that during the time of the saints, it may have worked well to use co-redemptrix but it is not the right language now. I could not help but feel uneasy about that explanation because Wisdom is unchanging. During my research, I learnt that St. Pope John Paul II used the term “co-redemptriix” at least 7 times, and St. Maximillian Kolbe as well.

To be honest, that explanation from the YouTuber felt to me like the same spirit that led a popular Catholic man to say he didn’t like to say “sin” when he preached the gospel, as though it did not carry the power to convict people of their sins, as though it is by his power people reach conviction for their sins and not through The Holy Spirit; him being only a subordinate and The Holy Spirit reigning supreme over all, to the Glory of God. It is the same spirit that declared not liking the description used in the bible: “the woman caught in the act of adultery”, citing how it labelled the woman, as though it did not proclaim the Glory and Mercy of God to use that description, and still the same spirit that moved a priest to change the word the priest says at Mass from “sin” to “fault” and finally, a similar spirit that filthily craves to take the focus from the sacrifice of the Mass, when all congregation had knelt down, right after the “Sanctus”, and a priest urged the congregation to close their eyes to think of the poor and pray for the poor in an extended speech before moving on to the words of consecration; never mind this could have been done at the start of mass, during the “Prayer of the Faithful” or even after the final blessing.

I listened to another famous Youtuber who seemed to be in support of the writing, but I am not inclined to give his words on Marian devotion much credence since he has had on his show, a man who said Mary was just like everybody else before her fiat, and he did not dispute it. This video in question stayed on his channel years after the fact for me to able to see it, by God’s grace. I felt clarity when I heard Two (2) priests mention it is not binding under pain of sin to not follow the instruction of the doctrinal note, one of them explaining that the doctrinal note cautions that such terms can be unhelpful if used in a way that causes confusion or seems to reduce Christ’s unique role as Redeemer. If, however, these titles are understood and explained correctly — emphasizing Mary’s participation with Christ (never equal to Him) — then their use remains completely legitimate. The other priest (Fr. Ripperger) explained statements made in the note were inaccurate because it did not communicate an understanding of Primary Cause (God) and secondary cause (all created things), and exhorted Catholics to follow the example of the saints.

To be honest, listening to the note read out loud or even reading it where it says, “Given the necessity of explaining Mary’s subordinate role to Christ in the work of Redemption, it is always inappropriate to use the title “Co-redemptrix” to define Mary’s cooperation.”, my logical conclusion was that it is never legitimate to use, but Fr. Chris Alar explained that it is, if it is not used in a way that it causes confusion. I don’t use the term “co-redemptrix” myself in devotion, although I use terms like “Mary Immaculate, Mediatrix of all graces” and “Our Mediatrix with You” when I pray the Catena Legionis, a century old prayer sanctioned by the Catholic Church as an official prayer of the Legion of Mary, a worldwide lay apostolic organization that has received official approval from the Holy See.

I think St. Louis Marie de Montfort in his book, “True Devotion to Mary”, did a good job of upholding the phrase “Slave of Mary” without diminishing it. He’d mentioned he did not condemn the use of the term, “Slave of Mary”, as He mentions he himself uses it, but affirms that it is better to speak of “slavery of Jesus in Mary” and to call oneself “slave of Jesus” rather than “slave of Mary” to avoid giving any pretext for criticism. So that in that way, the devotion is named after its ultimate end which is Jesus, rather than after the way and the means to arrive there, which is Mary. I believe it is hard to confuse the intent and the heart behind this.

To those who hate the Church, Jesus and Mary, they sensed “less love” was given to Mary, and they rejoiced foolishly. To those who love the Church, Jesus and Mary, they sensed the same, most (including myself) without understanding much but loving much, and they felt uneasy; something akin to the feeling of the enemies of the Church encroaching. To those who sense nothing, it is all the same.

I will leave you with a devotion I have prayed for a while now almost daily, known as the “Catena Legionis”. I was given pamphlets for this prayer more than once, by a very strong old woman and urged to pray for the Legion of Mary by saying the prayer daily. I once saw that old woman use her feet to lift up the heavy kneeler of the Church to put it away, and she did it so powerfully that I was left shocked because I know how heavy that kneeler is and it is not easy for me to raise it up with my feet, yet the old woman who appears frail seems to be the strongest of us all. I credit it to her frequent reception of the Holy Eucharist at Mass, her praying the Rosary (which she also would have urged me to pray if I had told her I didn’t pray it), and this devotion I have shared below. The Catena Legionis (Latin for “Chain of the Legion”) is a daily prayer for members of the Legion of Mary, a Catholic organization founded in 1921.

THE CATENA LEGIONIS

Antiphon. Who is she that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array?

(Make the Sign of the Cross)

v. My soul glorifies the Lord.*

R. My spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour.

v. He looks on His servant in her lowliness;* henceforth all ages will call me blessed.

R. The Almighty works marvels for me.* Holy His name!

v. His mercy is from age to age,* on those who fear Him.

R. He puts forth His arm in strength* and scatters the proud-hearted.

v. He casts the mighty from their thrones* and raises the lowly.

R. He fills the starving with good things,* sends the rich away empty.

v. He protects Israel His servant,* remembering His mercy,

R. The mercy promised to our fathers,* to Abraham and his sons for ever.

v. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.

R. As it was in the beginning is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

Antiphon. Who is she that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array?

v. O Mary, conceived without sin.

R. Pray for us who have recourse to you.

Let us pray.

O Lord Jesus Christ, our Mediator with the Father, Who has been pleased to appoint the Most Blessed Virgin, Your mother, to be our mother also, and our mediatrix with You, mercifully grant that whoever comes to You seeking Your favours may rejoice to receive all of them through her. Amen.

CONCLUDING PRAYERS

Make the Sign of the Cross) In the name of The Father, and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit. Amen..

We fly to your patronage, O holy Mother of God; despise not our prayers in our necessities, but ever deliver us from all dangers, O glorious and blessed Virgin.

v. Mary Immaculate, Mediatrix of all Graces (or Invocation appropriate to Praesidium)

R. Pray for us.

v. Sts. Michael, Gabriel and Raphael

R. Pray for us.

v. All you heavenly Powers, Mary’s Legion of Angels

R. Pray for us.

v. St. John the Baptist

R. Pray for us.

v. Saints Peter and Paul

R. Pray for us.

Confer, O Lord, on us, who serve beneath the standard of Mary, that fullness of faith in You and trust in her, to which it is given to conquer the world. Grant us a lively faith, animated by charity, which will enable us to perform all our actions from the motive of pure love of You, and ever to see You and serve You in our neighbour; a faith, firm and immovable as a rock, through which we shall rest tranquil and steadfast amid the crosses, toils and disappointments of life; a courageous faith which will inspire us to undertake and carry out without hesitation great things for Your glory and for the salvation of souls; a faith which will be our Legion’s Pillar of Fire – to lead us forth united – to kindle everywhere the fires of divine love – to enlighten those who are in darkness and in the shadow of death – to inflame those who are lukewarm – to bring back life to those who are dead in sin; and which will guide our own feet in the way of peace; so that – the battle of life over – our Legion may reassemble, without the loss of any one, in the kingdom of Your love and glory. Amen.

May the souls of our departed legionaries and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

(Make the Sign of the Cross) In the name of The Father, and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit. Amen.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Ave Maria!

Through this Valley of Tears

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone. Here’s your reminder to pray the Rosary.

I told my baby brother last week that it wasn’t until I suffered hardship—not that I hadn’t suffered before—that I could really feel and resonate with the “Hail Holy Queen” prayer. Especially the part that mentions “this valley of tears”.

That line—“To thee do we send forth our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears…”—felt real to me, as I lived it. Although my past suffering was no less real, I suppose it hadn’t been accompanied by prayer in this way before, and perhaps, it took that moment for me to resonate very deeply with the prayer. I suppose, some things cannot be fully explained.

I will be sharing bits of what has been happening lately. I hope it blesses someone who needs it.

Visual Sensitivity

I mentioned previously that I suspected I might have a visual sensitivity. Recently, my symptoms worsened—worse light sensitivity, worse blurry text on computer screens, new burning, and new pain—so I went to see an optometrist. It was uncomfortable to voice what I’d been experiencing, especially since it didn’t make much sense to me. The initial eye exam showed my vision was fine, but further tests revealed iritis in my left eye and severe dry eyes in both.

Thankfully, the iritis was caught early and only had to treated with prednisone drops. Thanks be to God, it’s now resolved. My optometrist advised me to return if I experience any symptoms like I did, as iritis can recur. But that leaves me uncertain: dry eye symptoms are similar to the symptoms of iritis, so how would I know the difference? I also don’t know what exactly caused either.

While both conditions explain my sensitivity to light and contrast perception challenges, they don’t fully account for past experiences. For example, when I lived in Lagos (Nigeria), there were times I felt pain behind my eyes that forced me to go to sleep to rest my eyes or essentially close the affected eye (I don’t remember which). Back then, I wasn’t using screens much and stayed indoors a lot. When I voiced the pain from when I was younger, my optometrist told me Alberta’s dry air could be the culprit, but I’m doubtful since I lived in humid Lagos (Nigeria) then and I didn’t have the additional symptoms I experienced recently.

I remember a photo taken outdoors when I was a teenager—my eyes were squinted so tightly they were nearly shut. At the time, I blamed the bright sunlight, but now I wonder. I don’t think the others who posed in the same spot struggled. It’s funny how that one moment stuck with me. I had to retake the photo because I was told my eyes were closed, so I’d forced them open, and I think, if memory serves me well, they even watered. That memory resurfaced recently when I watched a video of a mother describing her daughter’s sensitivity to sunlight causing her to close her eyes (although hers is probably worse). It made me pause—was that reaction not typical?

I also remember living in London (UK) and experiencing eye pain and headaches just from looking out a window—even though it wasn’t particularly bright. I figured maybe my eyes had just grown unaccustomed to light after so many gloomy days. There were also times during my walk home from work when I’d feel nauseous and get headaches from the flickering sunlight flitting through the tall shrubs/plants along the path. Something about that shifting light threw me off. I actually recall avoiding the sunlight. Did I wear sunglasses too afterwards? I’m not sure. A similar thing also happened here in Canada, and even while riding in a moving car.

My memory isn’t perfect, and I’ve not really been keeping very good track of these episodes. I just keep pushing through life, managing everything as best I can, without ever stopping to consider that maybe this isn’t entirely usual.

This is just my thought—I could be wrong, and maybe I won’t truly know until I’m face to face with God, or He chooses to reveal something more clearly in this valley of tears. But I think the visual sensitivity was always there. It’s just that the iritis and dry eyes pushed my symptoms from something manageable to something more distinct and disruptive. My optometrist assures me my vision is fine and that we should focus on treating the dry eyes. In any case, I’m giving thanks to God for revealing the iritis in time for it to be treated with just one medication, and for also bringing the dry eyes to light, something I’ll try to manage better, though I admit it’s hard to keep up with everything I’ve been advised to do.

Honestly, I think it was finally putting on those sunglasses on my final driving test that stirred a reckoning within me that there might be something wrong. I believe God was gently nudging me to take it seriously.

************************************************

My Inheritance

Something unsettling happened at work recently. An error was found in a protocol, and the author who is the PI denied making the change or knowing who made the change—implicitly casting suspicion on me. Since in that situation, the modification could only have come from either of us, he did not have to say that I made the change for anyone to believe that I made the change. He just had to deny making the change or deny knowing who made the change. However, I don’t have the authority to submit changes to Health Canada or the REB without the PI’s explicit approval, even if I edit the protocol under his direction or in an effort to improve it. Despite this, a team member, who has often seemed antagonistic, nearly accused me outright, and did so in front of my team lead.

I was placed in a difficult position where I had to defend myself and provide proof—through emails and document history, including the audit trail in our tracked Word protocol file—that the changes had been made by the PI. Even after presenting clear evidence, the tone remained unchanged. My team lead later spoke with the team member who just about accused me, and together they reviewed the documentation. According to my team lead, she only grudgingly acknowledged that I wasn’t at fault.

I felt deeply anxious and unsettled. Honestly, I felt unsafe, but when I shared this with someone, they reduced it to me simply feeling bad. Another had told me that maybe the PI forgot he made the change, but he was provided email evidence twice, and told to his face twice but it did not make a dent. Even if he missed the second email, I had already informed him in person after the first—shouldn’t that have prompted him to check? Was he truly unaware? That’s between him and God. But I don’t think it’s fair to place the burden on me to make sense of his actions.

I think it is difficult for some people to feel empathy until they are on the receiving end. The truth is, I didn’t just feel bad, I felt unsafe, accused and undermined. Is it really unreasonable to think that I would feel this way?

In any case, I’m profoundly grateful to God that I had the evidence to support myself from every angle, because even someone tried to bring forward an angle of how it could also have been my fault, which I had to refute to the person’s silence.

Bits of a bible passage came to my mind during this period, “You will refute every tongue…it is your inheritance.”, or something like it. Here is the full passage:

“no weapon that is fashioned against you shall prosper, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, says the Lord.”

Isaiah 54:17

Now, what if there were no emails or document history, what would have happened? Even with truth available, I still received hostility.

I could see the availability of evidence as a gift from God and I felt the weight of responsibility to handle this well. I came close to going too far in defending the truth, but even then, God called me back. I am thankful to God for His mercy on me.

I wasn’t perfect. I felt like a mess. But my baby brother reassured me that I was taking the necessary steps, and that meant a lot. I found myself voicing emotions I hadn’t expressed before, navigating unfamiliar territory in how I responded to others who acted strangely to me. I don’t have all the answers about this situation. I’m still learning how to act toward those involved, and I’ve wrestled with whether praying a Psalm for my accusers is the most charitable thing to do, but it is a prayer from the Bible, and it is the Word of God, which I cannot dispute is good. However, I have been commanded by God in the Bible to bless my enemies and not to curse them. I told God that I don’t wish for their destruction. Still, I prayed the Psalm because it is the Word of God, as well as variations or inspirations from the Psalms, while also praying for their shame and repentance and trusting that it is all up to God. I do not say all this here so you follow in my footsteps. I don’t know the truth. Ask your priest. (PS: I hadn’t gone looking for the Psalms. It was simply there—on the facing page of one I recite often—and I think for the first time that night, my eyes caught the brief description at the top of my childhood Bible: “Prayer against accusers” and I jumped at it because there was a prayer for what I was going through).

I think I felt lighter the morning after praying that Psalm and listening to others as I lay in bed before sleep. Afterwards, I believe I brought everything I could remember and understood to bring to confession, including the things I was unsure of. I didn’t receive any counselling at confession. I received absolution and penance which I believe God felt is sufficient.

One thing I know for certain is: without God, I am nothing.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool.

A great song to listen to!

No Small Feat

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Here’s your reminder to pray the Rosary.

Today, I am going to share my journey towards obtaining my driver’s license in Alberta. It has been filled with setbacks, imperfections, and difficult moments. Yet through it all, I’m thankful that God sustained me, never let me go, and faithfully brought me to the other side.

It all began in 2023 with me studying for the knowledge test. It took me such a long time to go through the driving manual from front to back. Still, I failed the knowledge test on my first try and barely passed on my second attempt. By God’s grace, I managed to guess the last few questions correctly and scored 25 out of 30—the minimum passing mark. I was overjoyed. I had assumed I would fail again with only maybe one or two questions left, so this felt like a miracle. I want to preface this by saying that many people do pass on their first try—like my older brother, whose “really?” face I still remember, when he heard I had failed. I don’t think the knowledge test in Alberta is excessively difficult. It was just challenging for me.

The next hurdle was learning to drive on the road. I enrolled in a driving school’s program that included an online course and road course package. Completing the program would earn me a certificate that could help reduce insurance costs and shorten the Class 5 GDL (probationary license) period from two years to 18 months. Driving was tougher than I expected. Ten hours of instruction didn’t seem enough. My instructor suggested more practice, so I drove occasionally with my older brother and rarely with a friend who lent me his car. The driving school required me to meet a certain score on their evaluation sheet before issuing the certificate.

In late 2023, I paused lessons because of winter approaching and the thought of driving induced a lot of anxiety. But when spring or summer arrived in 2024, I reached out to the school, determined to earn the certificate. I completed 18 hours of road training in total with the school before she declared me road-ready and issued the certificate, but I still didn’t feel confident. My heart would pound every time I sat behind the wheel. The criticisms I’d heard were loudest.

I took my first driving test using a registry car. Its analog accelerator gauge was unfamiliar, and its acceleration was jerky and the brakes required extra pressure than I was used to, so my nerves grew, and I missed a stop sign while entering a parking lot. We didn’t get on the highway. On my second attempt, I had the same tester. My anxiety was worse. He believed I should’ve paused for a vehicle with the right-of-way, but I proceeded, thinking I had enough space and time. I failed again. I don’t clearly remember the next four tests. At one point, I even considered taking herbal medicine to calm myself down but I don’t think I wanted to rely on that so, ultimately I decided to leave everything to God. I prayed a daily novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots (although it is supposed to end at 9 days), even when I wasn’t driving. After I failed the 6th road test, which I’d felt God called me to go ahead and take, I took a break from testing in 2024. During this final test of 2024 (attempt #6), I sensed the anxious feeling quietly leave me while I drove. I realised that praying the Novena to Our Lady undoer of knots daily worked so I continued it.

Around Christmas time, I drove with my sister. Her presence felt calm, safe, and warm. I did not sense any anxiety in me or her. She let me know after the drive that I could drive, made small mistakes and I just needed more confidence.

In 2025, I resumed lessons with a different school. After a series of sessions, my instructor informed me that I could drive and he seemed almost guilty to take my money for more sessions. He recommended driving on my own with some support. I felt hesitant reaching out to him again, but I eventually trained with another instructor from the same school who helped me improve in areas I knew I struggled with.

In 2024, I had purchased prescription polarised sunglasses, and found out that driving in socks helped me control speed and steering better. But by 2025, I realised I could still manage with snug shoes even though wearing socks gave me better control, and I felt comfortable enough to not rely on the prescription polarized glasses. Most importantly, my heart no longer raced uncontrollably while driving, although a trace of apprehension lingered before the drive. So, I assumed I was calm while driving.

I failed my first road test this year (attempt #7) due to visual and spatial awareness challenges. I missed crucial road markings and misjudged the lane of an approaching car as I attempted a right turn. The tester applied the brakes. He allowed me to complete the test and I could surmise from the skills assessment I received that I would have passed if not for that mistake. His assessment gave me hope so, I rebooked another test about two weeks later, believing I could succeed.

I still didn’t wear my prescription polarised sunglasses. My plan was simple: if am unsure, I’d just let others go first. I wanted to drive in socks, since it had noticeably improved my speed and steering control during the earlier test. But during a lesson prior to my next attempt (#8), my instructor had noticed and insisted I wear shoes. Even though he was not present for my test, I didn’t want to be disobedient, and I wanted to honor him, so I complied. To be clear, I can drive with shoes. It’s just harder to sense the pressure I’m applying to the pedals due to low proprioception. That low sensory feedback means I could unintentionally speed—and in a test situation where everything is heightened, that is too risky. Speeding can happen in a heartbeat. So, it did on my second test. I went 40 in a 30 zone—an automatic fail. The tester let me finish the test and once again, from his assessment, I would have passed if not for that slip. I begged him to reconsider, pleading for mercy. But he refused, saying, “I cannot lie”. I was surprised by his wording. I hadn’t viewed my plea as asking him to lie—just asking for mercy.

I can’t say that I felt I had done something wrong for begging. I had even told my younger brother that maybe I should’ve begged during the first test this year (attempt #7), but I’d wanted to follow the process. Later that day, though, I reflected on the tester’s words. I had asked him for something that could compromise his integrity. And he’d declined. I felt terrible for asking, not because I intended deceit, but because I realized I had tempted him to sin. I genuinely believed mercy to be in the hands of the person who you plead your case with, and in this instance, it was this man. But, I suppose he is human and not God; and he has his responsibilities and I was placing the wrong request on him.

I felt a distrust start to creep in that God was not going to help me. Not even because He couldn’t, because He is God and He is all powerful, but because there must be a good from me failing that I cannot see or understand. I had prayed. I had faith. I worked hard (to the best of my ability), and yet I failed, even though I knew how to drive. It didn’t make sense. Life didn’t make sense. I felt kicked, beaten, and abandoned at the curbside. I felt truly defeated and I caught myself slipping back into old pattern of swearing as I spoke to my brother. It was like watching myself from the outside, stunned: I’m swearing. Why am I swearing?. By God’s grace, I stopped even though the pull was there to continue.

I considered taking a break from testing for a while. But my younger brother said “no”—firmly. He insisted I could drive and just needed to be careful. He hadn’t seen me drive, but he believed in me because minus one error I would have passed. He urged me to book another test right there at the registry. I sat on a bench close to registry, under the hot sun for a long time, until I finally went in. Later on, my sister echoed her encouragement. She worried I sounded defeated about the next test I had booked. But I couldn’t explain it. I didn’t understand. I couldn’t guarantee a different outcome. I gave thanks to God, but praying felt difficult. I felt sinful and like a failure in both my spiritual life and my earthly efforts. I felt abandoned by God and not helped by Him. Yet, I knew God had helped me because I remembered how I used to drive with my heart racing uncontrollably. And now I don’t. That change was real, even if I didn’t feel helped. I felt like nothing.

Before my first road test this year (attempt #7), I had prayed earnestly for God’s guidance—should I postpone or proceed? In the final moments leading up to the test, my prayers were answered. I received an unexpected opportunity to practice, and the weather shifted dramatically in my favor, contrary to the forecast. Even my Uber driver remarked on how beautiful the day was. I gave thanks to God out loud, taking it as a greenlight from Him to go forward. So, when I failed, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why would God tell me to go ahead if I was going to fail? I know it was definitely for good but I could not understand it. Maybe I thought I heard wrong but the answered prayers were so clear.

Prior to my second road test of this year (attempt #8), by God’s providence, I stumbled upon the story in Scripture where the Israelites (11 tribes), sought God’s guidance on whether to go to battle against the tribe of Benjamin (1 tribe). God told them to go, and they lost. Twice. It was only after they wept, fasted, offered sacrifice to God and returned to ask, not just whether they should fight, but whether they would triumph, that God assured them of victory. And they did. That story stayed with me and I decided to act like the Israelites: I fasted and prayed, seeking God’s voice not just for permission, but for outcome. During Mass, a passage was read about Jacob (Israel) wrestling with the God—a relentless grip for blessing—and leaving with a limp. That same day, my ball and socket joint had flared up and I limped slightly too, so, in my spirit, I concluded God had blessed me as well. I took it as a sign that I would pass. I can’t remember if anything else affirmed that conclusion, but I decided to have faith. So when I failed, my confusion came back, and I think I began to wonder if I’d been hearing my own voice all along and mistaking it for God’s voice. I questioned whether I had ever heard from God ever in my life. I questioned whether people deluded themselves when they said God spoke to them. I believe I concluded from scripture that God truly speaks to those He loves… or perhaps I concluded God speaks to those who truly love Him. Unclear at this point, but I think both are valid.

I went to confession the day after my 8th attempt. The priest told me that God’s message to me that day was the same one He gave to St. Paul: My grace is sufficient for you. St. Paul’s words came to me also: “I will boast all the more of my weakness”. He counselled me to trust in God’s grace and mercy, but I struggled to understand what it really meant to trust God’s mercy and grace, or what it meant to have faith or how to have faith. I questioned whether my faith was ever genuine because of my poor actions.

Daily, I ask God to interrupt my plans if they’re not aligned with His plan for me, and to move me into conformity with His plans. I’d heard someone online say this prayer, loved it and adopted it. In this time, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was just my prayer coming true. I felt a slight temptation to stop but I continued it because genuinely deep down, it is what I want even if my being revolts against it.

I had been told by the priest at confession that the ability to do better is a gift from God and that I have it. So, in the six days leading up to attempt #9, I looked inward: what could I do better? I remembered my Apple Watch alerting me that my resting heart rate had hit 120 bpm before the previous test so, I’d removed it prior to the test to avoid distractions. I decided to check the data for the period I practiced, and my heart rate had climbed to 132 bpm. I think at the time I may have thought my baseline or lowest heart rate to be in the 50s, but I can say now that it got as low as 50 bpm on July 15th (a day before the test). So, I think it is safe to take that as a baseline. The thing is I never sensed any rise. In the past, I would hear my heart race uncontrollably but that stopped and I assumed I was calm, but the reading said otherwise. I realized my body had adapted to driving under pressure. However, the anxiety slipped into my feet, triggering unconscious sensory-seeking behavior to ground/regulate me: pressing harder on the accelerator (tactile/proprioceptive input) without noticing, due to low proprioception. I recalled all my reading last year (which I believe were guided by God) about proprioception and sensory seeking, which I’d pushed aside and did not prioritise because I didn’t feel qualified as a doctor to give a diagnosis. But on considering all of this, I decided to drive in socks on my last road test.

A day before the test, I noticed the early morning sun—mild for most—felt intense to my eyes. I got a headache and felt nauseous. I considered that perhaps my eyes could be sensitive to the sun, considering other times when I had the same reaction to what appeared to be low intensity sun but read to my eyes as high intensity. I’ve also had moments when the road appeared washed out and made it impossible to detect bends or markings but I can’t say I truly fully believed I had visual sensitivity even though I purchased prescription polarised sunglasses. I’d held back from wearing them while driving this year because I did not want to seem arrogant to the examiner and I seemed to be doing better without wearing them, but I suppose when this happened, I decided not to take any chances.

Another thing that helped me was that I stopped obsessing over each driving maneuver. I simply got in the car and drove on my 1-hour practice a day before, and my 1-hour practice the day of the test and also on the test. I also prayed “God forbid” whenever I felt trepidation sinking into my gut, and the fear retreated. This made me suspicious that perhaps, there was a problem which the enemy capitalised on and so the fear became excessive. To my mind, “God forbid” was my way of praying to God to rebuke it and also me coming out of agreement with it. I enlisted the help of everyone in Heaven (I believe), including my Guardian Angel, and I also braced my mind to accept whatever type of road condition I face. I stumbled upon an encouraging video about John Gurdon, a Nobel Prize winner in Physiology or Medicine, whose teacher had told him his ambition of being a scientist were ridiculous and a waste of time because he was bottom of a class of 250. I suppose it is already striking to me that he won a Nobel Prize in Medicine but what stood out most to me was what he said upon being congratulated and told the teacher was wrong. His response was, “Are you sure? You don’t know how many times I have done experiments that don’t work”. It was all humorous with a tinge of truth. The video spoke of perseverance and it felt God-sent.

I took my third road test this year (attempt #9) wearing prescription polarised sunglasses and socks. I passed with only 30 points off, the maximum allowed being 75, and I looked cool doing it to the glory of God. The points off were for hesitation and judgment related to hesitation (I’d wanted to be safe and to pass, and I got honked at once at a red light, where I thought it safest to wait for the person with the right of way to go by, but I’m supposing in the tester’s judgment it was not enough to fail). I learnt later on at Mass that that day (July 16th) was the Feast Day of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. When I considered it, it felt like a gentle Heavenly wink. This road test was harder than the previous two. I was taken through unfamiliar roads for the most part, which were busy, had tight corners, and construction zones. Yet, I was able to apply every lesson from my past training, including those failure had taught me. I had the same examiner as the last two times (attempt #7 and #8). This time, he opened the car door to inspect my parkings (parallel and downhill)—something he hadn’t done before and none of the testers before him ever did. I suppose he was being thorough. Good man.

Later on, I checked my heart rate data. From what is available to me, it appears to have started at 113 bpm, but during the test, it dipped into the 70s, peaked at 80 before settling at 77 bpm at 11:04 a.m. The test finished at 11:07 a.m. and I don’t have data for 3 minutes. But, essentially I was at resting heart rate for a time. And I said to myself: God is real. My heart rate seemed to spike up after the test at maybe 11:11a.m. to 127 to 130 bpm, but my assumption is that at that time, I was expecting to hear I had failed again, as I waited for his corrections to be over, but instead I heard him say I passed and that I should go inside to upgrade my license.

Someone I told about passing the test, praised my perseverance—but I overheard them say they didn’t think I would pass because I hadn’t driven much, I am guessing between the last fail and the final test or perhaps because of how spaced out my lessons were, and all the other times I’d failed. But you know what, I could not tell either, but it goes to show that human perception is limited and God’s mercy does not depend on the thoughts of people. This was no small feat.

If I could list the factors that made learning to drive especially challenging, they would include:

Anxiety — pervasive and gripping, especially during tests.
Criticism — I have come to understand there is a difference between correction to build a person up and criticism which tears you down. One corrects and proffers solution, the other tears down with no solution proffered such that the individual becomes the problem and not the issue at hand being the problem. Correct them but if they don’t take you seriously, limit your performance of anything important to you in their knowing or presence and if you can, surround yourself with people who correct to build up. You’ll be surprised how much wonders this will do for you.
Photosensitivity, contrast distortion & Vision Issues — The glare and reflection of sunlight sometimes caused the road to appear completely washed out, erasing clear distinctions between bends, lane markings, and surface textures, and sometimes my glasses felt insufficient to help with my short sightedness.
Low Spatial Awareness — gradually improved, but still not perfect; I’ve reached “safe” levels for driving. I’m more attuned to positioning, movement, and distance, though I remain mindful.
Low Proprioception — particularly in my feet, which made speed control and steering unpredictable at times.
Unclear Guidance from Instructors — Sometimes, they didn’t clearly explain how to perform actions, just expected results.
Lack of Regular Access to a Car — limited my ability to reinforce lessons through practice.
Instructor Misalignment with Examiner Expectations — I wasn’t properly taught about the expectations of the tester. For example how the tester expects a shoulder check to be until a tester flagged it. Afterwards, I exaggerated my head turns during checks, even doing multiple—and testers praised me on it in a manner I thought felt excessive but it boosted my confidence in that area. Another area was that none of my instructors even pointed out my wide right turns apart from the testers. I had to share that with them and still they didn’t tell me how to fix it, they just expected me to know. I had to figure out I had to steer a lot more. Seems simple now but I really didn’t know.
Low Awareness of My Body & Needs — I was often disconnected from what my body was experiencing or needing while driving.
Poor Nervous System Regulation — fight-or-flight responses were common and uncontrollable.
Difficulty Processing Test Directions — My ability to mentally process the verbal testing directions felt slow and labored, which led to delayed reactions and poor execution which triggered anxiety and a sense of panic, clouding my confidence and making it harder to perform tasks I had otherwise prepared for. This got better with time and failure.
Difficulty Remembering Rules to Apply them: Failing caused it to stick to memory better. I also learn better through experience than verbal communication. I process that better.
Discomfort with Examiner Presence — their watchful silence made me more anxious and less intuitive.
Discomfort with New Roads: New roads or places can feel disconcerting to me, although that didn’t seem to matter on my last test. Although I was disconcerted, letting out a shaky, thoughtful “hmmm” at certain moments, my mind and body seemed to have adapted under pressure, such that I was able to drive safely, thanks to God.
Difficulty Prioritizing My Comfort — I often chose to “fit in” over choosing methods that helped me drive better (like socks over shoes).
Distrust in My Instincts — I resisted decisions that felt right for me in order to follow what seemed normal to me or others.
Agreement with Anxiety — Somewhere down the line, I don’t know when, but I had accepted anxiety and this had to be broken.
Choosing Times Based on Traffic Hope, Not Mental Readiness — I’d select quiet times for tests, rather than mentally preparing for any road condition that God permits, and I’d face the opposite.

To anyone who thinks I’ve over-spiritualized this, I’ve come to believe that we’re meant to spiritualize everything. We are body and soul—not separate—but one integrated being, only divided at death, which was never part of God’s original plan. In the resurrection of the dead, there will be a resurrection to life and a resurrection of judgement, and in both, body and soul will be reunited. St. Paul even tells us that the battle is not merely physical—it’s a fight between the forces of God and the powers of darkness. Beneath the surface of daily life, there is a very real war between good and evil. So, I don’t believe it is excessive to examine life through a spiritual lens. It is right to honor what our natural senses are often too limited to perceive. I give thanks to God for He has done a great thing for me, undeserving as I am. Indeed, it is hard to believe. I also thank Mother Mary, my Guardian Angel, St. Joseph and all the Angels and Saints for their intercession.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool.

A great song you could listen to!

Connections: Through Eyes of Faith

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well. It has been a while since my last post. It was not planned but I have to admit, it did feel good not to post anything. I had an idea (or maybe two) in between but I didn’t get around to starting it. More recently, I had some experiences which I didn’t want to forget so I decided to write them down in order to remember and that is how this post took shape. Before I go any further, I’d like to remind you all to pray the Rosary!

It’s not about you…

Recently, I realized that I’ve endured a lot in jobs for the sake of a paycheck and in the hopes of something better in the future. But when it came to a volunteering opportunity I’d committed to, one small inconvenience, an unpleasant interaction, made me want to walk away. I told myself I could always volunteer elsewhere—but where, and when? Would I ever follow through again?

At first, I didn’t see the parallel between my work life and this volunteering situation. But eventually I did. I don’t believe that insight was what changed my mind, though. After I considered quitting, I prayed against my huge ego and asked God to show me whether He wanted me to continue, even though, truthfully, I was pretty set on not going back. I figured if He wanted me there, He would change my heart.

That morning, someone reminded me that I’m doing this for God, not for the person I would like to avoid. I already knew that. I thought it the night before, and it had nearly convinced me—until I went back to thinking I could just volunteer elsewhere.

Then after Sunday Mass, I saw a video of a young boy saying, “It’s not about me—it’s about serving others”. He also mentioned how Jesus, though inconvenienced, still went the extra mile to heal people. That struck me. It reminded me of a scene from The Chosen, where Jesus tells James and John to till a plot of land—later revealed to be the land of a Gentile. When they wanted to call down fire on their enemies, Jesus lovingly corrected them and they got the names “sons of thunder”. I’m not sure if all of this occurs at the same scene but it stayed with me.

Hearing “it’s not about me” filled me with joy—at least for a little while. I felt free when I heard it, but the doubt crept back in: Do I really have to volunteer there?

After that, maybe the next day, I listened to a video of a recounting of Jesus’ suffering on the cross: His wounded back scraping the wood every time He had to lift Himself up just to breathe painfully. That is the height of inconvenience. And it moved me. I think it made my mind firm about going back.

It wasn’t until I confessed this to a priest and heard him say something to the effect of me simply wanting to follow my own desire that I realised I was being led by the flesh. Later, as I stood before the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, I found myself telling Mary something along the lines of: I am foolish. I know it, and you know it. I wouldn’t even recognize if I were doing something terribly wrong unless you told me.

Looking back, I think I was only able to see the connection between this experience and my work life in a solid, indisputable way, when back home. And when I did, I couldn’t help but thank God—perhaps Mary too, as I often likewise thank Mary, and ask her to offer thanks for me most perfectly—because His hand in all of it felt unmistakable.

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A dream…

I was on my way to work, following a new practice of reading a chapter or two of the Bible, using the YouVersion app while on transit. After reading the verse of the day, I usually open the full chapter and sometimes continue to the next. That morning, before I even began, these words floated through my mind: “You are a priest forever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.”

When I opened the reading, I found myself in the book of Hebrews and unexpectedly, the chapter spoke of Melchizedek’s priesthood. I kept reading, chapter after chapter, stunned by the God-coincidence. I may have thought then or later that day, “God is real.”

Later that same day, I saw a post by Novena Cards on Instagram announcing that two novenas were beginning that day: one to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, and the other to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It took me a moment to realize they share a feast day, something I had never known before. That’s when a memory surfaced: a dream I had in the past, where I believe I prayed in this way, “Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us. Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us… Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us. Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us.”

I remember waking up from that dream thinking, “I don’t really recall saying the title ‘Our Lady of Perpetual Help’ before”. I wondered if the title might be connected to Our Lady of Succour. But the deeper meaning didn’t hit me until I saw that post. And in that moment or perhaps it was a developing thought throughout the day, I felt overwhelmingly aware that God is real. God is present. God is with me.

I didn’t quite know how to respond to this. Should I go home after work or go to church/mass? Or maybe just follow through with that networking event I had signed up for but really didn’t want to attend?

I ultimately chose to follow through and attend the networking event.

I found myself thinking, “Wow…God has revealed this to me”. I had only just started praying for understanding of some dreams I’ve had, although I’m not sure I thought of this one specifically—but maybe…

At one moment that same day, I felt like I was flying. I hoped it would last…though I didn’t expect it to.

I also considered that this is God’s mercy to me. I sensed that this meaning I have found is only a small part of the dream’s meaning but even that small part feels like so much. Since then, I’ve felt courage I hadn’t known before. Where I was once silent, I’ve begun to speak up. And even when cowardice tries to creep back in, I’ve kept speaking up—so far, at least.

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Divine Timing…

That day, I also found myself pondering a passage from Hebrews: “One might even say that Levi himself, who receives tithes, paid tithes through Abraham, for he was still in the loins of his ancestor when Melchizedek met him.”

There is divine timing and a divine order to life. If Levi, generations removed, could be said to have paid tithes through Abraham, then so could Isaac, who hadn’t been born yet. Abraham had Isaac after returning from the slaughter of the kings, being blessed by Melchizedek and giving tithes to Melchizedek. This precise sequence allows it to be possible for us to be able to say that all Abraham’s descendants gave tithes to Melchizedek through Abraham. Taking into consideration also that “not all descended from Israel belong to Israel, but only the children of the promise are reckoned as descendants”. This is because there are 2 races, one according to the flesh, and one according to the promise, so that the purpose of God’s election might continue because of His call and His mercy, so no one can boast.

“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion”.

God is Love. God is Mercy. God’s mercy is His love. What could be perceived as a delay or an unfulfilled promise was indeed God’s divine timing.

It made me consider: what else do we (I) mistake for a delay and try to hurry along or control like Sarah when she gave Hagar to Abraham, and even then God knew she would do this and it did not stop the God’s blessing from going to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob (Israel) and the heirs of the promise rooted in faith in Christ, Just as God has promised. God factors in our weaknesses when He deals with us.

I think we just have to open up and allow Him to work, or cooperate, and trust that He perfects all things in His time. Still, that space between the imperfect and perfect can be frustrating, hard, bitter and painfully disheartening, that is, if we fix our focus there. The challenge is to look forward in hope to where God’s work of grace is perfected. I heard somewhere that part of what makes learning a new thing hard is that we do not tend to our expectations and we ought to acknowledge to ourselves that it is going to be hard but it will get better. We can apply the same principle to the faith journey, since this is our first/only experience living this life. When I imagine the purifying flames which I will go through on that day, it brings me joy that I will not sin again after that.

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On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool. Mama Mary was (is) watching over me. God was (is) looking after me.

A song you could listen to!

To Jesus Through Mary—A Personal Reflection

Posted on May 4, 2025 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

I recently realized that I may not have been entirely clear about the sources of the information I’ve shared regarding devotion to Mary and the path to Jesus through her. I had thought I was, but upon reflection, I see that I could have been more precise.

My last post, ‘We are sons, not slaves,’ was inspired by two books—the Bible and True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis Marie de Montfort—as well as the teachings of the Heralds of the Gospel, a Catholic International Association of Pontifical Right that has learned from both teachers and St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s writings.

At times, I reflect on the fact that I do not have a spiritual director and have expressed this to Mary, and claimed her as my own. Yet, I also think it is fair to consider the saints as my teachers, particularly St. Louis Marie de Montfort in this case. I do not possess half of his devotion or love for Mary—and if I claimed to be close to half, that would be generous—but his words resonate with me as though they were written about my life. His prayer to Jesus feels as if I could have spoken those very words myself: “Ah, would that I could proclaim throughout the whole world the mercy that Thou hast shown to me! Would that everyone might know I should be already damned, were it not for Mary! Would that I might offer worthy thanksgiving for so great a blessing! Mary is in me. Oh, what a treasure! Oh, what a consolation! And shall I not be entirely hers?”.

I have used strong words to describe Jesus’ complete giving of Himself to Mary, stating that He wrapped Himself in her flesh. I am unsure where I first encountered this phrase. Initially, I thought it came from St. Louis Marie de Montfort, but now I am uncertain. Perhaps it arose from the saint’s reflection on a holy person—also a slave of Mary like Jesus—who was described as being wrapped up in her. Regardless, the intention expressed by those words is that Jesus is the seed of Mary from her flesh, and that in her 2 natures were united Divinity and Humanity, at the incarnation. It reveals the profound intimacy of the incarnation. I don’t believe my expression was literal but rather an expression of a mystery—one the heart understands if it is open. However, who could truly claim full understanding of the mystery of the Incarnation or how it came to be? If in truth, even a minute aspect of it meant Jesus walked among us with flesh wrapped around His divinity, I wonder if such simplicity could be dismissed if echoed by Jesus on the last day. Additionally, Mary’s womb is the sacred dwelling place where Heaven and earth met in the Incarnation, where God and man remain united in Christ, and where souls continue to be formed in holiness, grow mature in enlightenment, in experience and in wisdom, and in a short time reach the fullness of the age of Christ.

In St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s words: the principal mystery celebrated and honoured in the true devotion to Mary is the mystery of the Incarnation where we find Jesus only in Mary, having become incarnate in her womb, it is appropriate for us to call the devotion, “slavery of Jesus in Mary”, of Jesus dwelling enthroned in Mary, according to the beautiful prayer, recited by so many great souls, “O Jesus living in Mary”.

He further explains that these expressions show more clearly the intimate union existing between Jesus and Mary. He writes: “So closely are they united that one is wholly the other. Jesus is all in Mary and Mary is all in Jesus. Or rather, it is no longer she who lives, but Jesus alone who lives in her. It would be easier to separate light from the sun than Mary from Jesus. So united are they that our Lord may be called, “Jesus of Mary”, and His Mother “Mary of Jesus”“.

Here are his brief remarks on the incarnation:

The Incarnation is the first mystery of Jesus Christ; it is the most hidden; and it is the most exalted and the least known.
It was in this mystery that Jesus, in the womb of Mary and with her co-operation, chose all the elect. For this reason the saints called her womb, the throne-room of God’s mysteries. It was in this mystery that Jesus anticipated all subsequent mysteries of His life by His willing acceptance of them. Consequently, this mystery is a summary of all His mysteries since it contains the intention and the grace of them all.
Lastly, this mystery is the seat of the mercy, the liberality, and the glory of God. It is the seat of His mercy for us, since we can approach and speak to Jesus through Mary. We need her intervention to see or speak to him. Here, ever responsive to the prayer of His Mother, Jesus unfailingly grants grace and mercy to all poor sinners. “Let us come boldly before the throne of grace”.
It is the seat of liberality for Mary, because while the new Adam dwelt in this truly earthly paradise God performed there so many hidden marvels beyond the understanding of men and angels. For this reason, the saints call Mary “the magnificence of God”, as if God showed His magnificence only in Mary.
It is the seat of glory for His Father, because it was in Mary that Jesus perfectly atoned to His Father on behalf of mankind. It was here that He perfectly restored the glory that sin had taken from His Father. It was here again that our Lord, by the sacrifice of Himself and of His will, gave more glory to God than He would have given had He offered all the sacrifices of the Old Law. Finally, in Mary He gave His Father infinite glory, such as His Father had never received from man.

I would not have esteemed his words so highly had he not spoken of Mary with such profound love and devotion. Nor would I have valued them had he not been a canonized saint, speaking alongside other canonized saints who shared the same devotion. His words, which I already held in high regard, carried even greater weight when I learned that Pope St. John Paul II himself esteemed them. More recently, my appreciation deepened as I renewed my consecration to Jesus through Mary last month. During the 33-day period, I came to see how his writings resonate profoundly with my own life—as though I were reading the truth of my own life. It would be helpful to exercise discernment when listening to perspectives contrary to the words in this book. Listen with discernment, always seeking to uphold and honor Mary and Jesus—with prayer for yourself, for those speaking, and for God’s mercy. Should you choose to respond, do so with all the angelic kindness and deep humility of Mary—or most perfectly, with all of her virtues.

It can be confusing to sort through these perspectives. I once heard a very Catholic man confidently state that Mary was just like everyone else before she gave her Fiat: “I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word”. His brilliance on other matters captivated me, so I didn’t immediately reject his claim that night. Yet, I didn’t accept it either. Whether it lingered in my mind out of unease or temptation—or perhaps both—I’m unsure, as time has passed. But the next morning, as I prayed the Rosary, his words resurfaced, and deep within, I felt a conviction that his words did not align with truth.

I acknowledge that Mary is human like everyone else and that doesn’t change at the point of her Fiat, so I can see that this is not the point being made. The only change in state that I can see is that she went from being the predestined Mother of God to Mother of God, and yet who else was prepared for it by God. Given this, would it be fitting to consider Mary just like everyone else until she gave her Fiat—especially in light of the dogma of the Immaculate Conception? After all, the angel Gabriel’s greeting at the Annunciation affirms her unique grace: ‘Hail, full of grace’.

For a long time, I wondered where the phrase “full of grace” in the Hail Mary originated, since some Bible translations render Luke 1:28 as “Hail, O highly favored one”. By God’s grace—and through Mary’s quiet ordering of my life—I stumbled upon an insightful explanation in a Q&A on Catholic.com which illuminated the richness of the original Greek.

The answer I found was that meaning can sometimes be lost in translation. I’ve even experienced this with my own Igbo name, Amarachukwu. At one time, my mom explained that it meant more than the Grace of God. It apparently carries a deeper blend of grace, mercy, and goodness (or so), in its meaning—particularly directed toward her and me—which is difficult to fully express in a single English word. Yet, if asked, I will say it means Grace of God, as that is the common understanding. According to the writer of the post, the same challenge applies to the translation “full of grace”. The Greek phrase pleres charitos is what translates literally to “full of grace” and it appears in reference to Jesus (John 1:14) and St. Stephen (Acts 6:8), with its meaning shaped by context, such that we can infer that anyone who has recently been baptized or received the sacrament of confession is pleres charitos. In Luke 1:28, however, the angel uses kecharitomene, derived from charitoo (meaning “to give grace”). This verb, kecharitomene, is in the perfect passive participle tense (which I learned is more accurate than ‘past perfect’), signifying that the action of grace was to the fullest, in the past and with enduring effects. The verb is used as a title. Gabriel does not say “Hail Mary, you are kecharitomene” but rather “Hail kecharitomene”

I am not a theologian but to my mind the greeting could be rendered as ‘Hail, one who has been graced to the fullest and enduringly, the Lord is with you’ or perhaps colloquially as “Hello, Your Royal Highness, Immaculate, the Lord is with you”. Kecharitomene appears to be used within the context of Angel Gabriel’s greeting as her name, revealing her identity as the Immaculate one, and revealing an action of grace given in a complete and enduring way, implying that purity, holiness and sinlessness is intrinsic to her very being rather than something temporary. Since sin and grace oppose each other, could one who has been graced in a complete and enduring way bear even the slightest stain of sin?

It begs the question: when was her identity given to her by God, and when was the spiritual action completed? To explore possibilities, we can look at how God has worked with His prophets throughout Scripture, preparing them uniquely—sometimes even before they were in their mother’s womb.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

“For he will be great before the Lord, and he shall drink no wine nor strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.”

God completely prepares the ones He calls to fulfill their mission. Throughout the Old Testament, we find prophecies and typological connections that foreshadow Mary’s role—the New Eve who will crush the serpent’s head (‘I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; (s)he/they shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his/her/their heel’). While this verse carries multiple meanings, my focus is on one at this time. As well, the Ark of the Covenant and other symbols—which I cannot fully expand on here—suggest that she was predestined to be the Mother of God (taking into consideration her freedom to surrender her will completely to God, where the first Eve did not).

If we believe that God never changes and He doesn’t, it follows that He would act in the same way with her, preparing her to be a worthy dwelling place for God Himself. Considering how profoundly God prepared His prophets, would it not be fitting that His preparation of the one entrusted with forming and shaping Jesus would be even greater—since Jesus, being perfectly obedient to her as a good Son, honors her to fulfill the commandment?

Catholic dogma holds that Mary was preserved from original sin from the first moment of her conception through the merits of Jesus. While this might seem difficult to grasp, it is entirely possible—especially considering that at the Last Supper, when Jesus referred to the bread as ‘His body that is given for us’ and the wine as ‘His blood that is poured out for us,’ He spoke of His sacrifice as if it were already accomplished in intention and grace. In doing so, He applied the merits of His sacrifice to a time before it had fully unfolded for us—extending this grace prior to His bodily presence in the moment of His sacrifice. To those who have faith, it is believable that His sacrifice and its merits are not bound by time. Fitting, since He is God eternal. This makes me pause, especially when I consider that He gave thanks to the Father for it, or that He could still pray afterwards: ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible to thee; remove this cup from me; yet not what I will, but what thou wilt’. He could still hope, and it remained possible to pass from Him, even though the mystery of His sacrifice was already completed and accepted by Him—unfolding for us yet still awaiting His physical entry into the moment of His sacrifice. So, it is okay to have hope, even when a poor outcome seems inevitable. Yet, there is a right way to hope—a hope rooted in trust, surrender to God’s will, and profound acceptance of whatever He permits. I could not sufficiently penetrate the infinite depth of this, being finite myself. However, in all things, it is always good to give thanks to God.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Throughout this process, I prayed to Jesus through Mary for insight, renewing my consecration with the words inspired from True Devotion to Mary: ‘I renounce myself completely, and I give myself entirely to you, Mom’. To explain briefly, to give oneself entirely to Mary, is to give oneself entirely to Jesus, since she belongs entirely to Him. There is a need to renounce our evil dispositions and corrupt nature, since our perception of our good intentions is colored by self-love. While we can always go directly to Jesus, going through Mary to Jesus is a reliable way, direct and sure, since Mary purifies your intentions, calls down the mercy of God on you and shapes you and your intentions to His liking.

In addition, I used Copilot as a thought partner and writing assistant to refine my ideas, improve readability, and explore deeper connections.

A song you could listen to!

We are Sons, Not Slaves

Posted on April 14, 2025 by Kat_mira

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing okay and you are remembering to pray your Rosary. This lent has been an enlightening season. While I look forward to its conclusion, I find myself reflecting on this time and wanting to cherish this meaningful period—to savor it fully before it passes. Yet, the future holds its own promise, and I look forward to embracing it with hope and excitement.

Today, I’d like to share a perspective on the phrase, “we are sons, not slaves”, or a variation of the phrase which I have heard from multiple people recently.

To begin, consider St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s book True Devotion to Mary, in which he describes three types of slavery: Natural Slavery, Enforced Slavery, and Voluntary Slavery. By the order of justice, all creation, including humans are by nature, slaves to Almighty God, as all things come into existence and continue to exist in Him. Even those who rebel against God remain His slaves and, in spite of themselves, give Him glory in a forced type of slavery. Those who follow God’s will by their own volition also remain His slaves, but through love, their slavery is elevated—they become slaves of love giving God more perfect glory.

With this in mind, consider the parable of the prodigal son, which might lead some to question viewing oneself as a slave, since once the prodigal son came back to his senses and in his repentance desired to return to his father as a slave, his father welcomed him instead as a son. It is understandable, and while I agree that there is truth to our heirship in the parable, I also recognise that it is not the complete truth. This relationship of father and son in the parable exemplifies, in human knowledge, the relationship between God and humans. Jesus uses this illustration to reveal God’s mercy, forgiveness, and grace, through which He makes us heirs. He reveals other things as well, but I will only focus on the relationship between a father and son, as this is the focus of this post. No human father-son relationship can truly capture that of a slave and master, as no human father has ultimate authority over the life and death of his son. Through this analogy, Jesus illuminates one facet of God’s nature: God as Father. However, this represents only one aspect.

In another passage, Jesus teaches those who already believed in Him, “If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” He explains that sin enslaves and causes one to lose their place in God’s house, but only the Son can free us from the bondage of sin. From this, we learn—as echoed by St. Louis Marie de Montfort—that discipleship requires two essential elements: belief in Christ and perseverance in keeping His commands. When we choose this path, we become His disciples by our own volition. We come to know Him—the Truth—love Him, know ourselves, and experience the freedom He gives. However, this freedom is a freedom to love God as slaves: “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love be servants/slaves of one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.“. To give ourselves entirely to one another in loving servitude.

In much older times, the terms “servant” or “handmaiden” did not carry the same connotations as they do today. Rather, it was understood to mean “slavery”. When encountering such words in the bible when used to describe our relationship with God, try to shift your perspective from your understanding of modern slavery to the understanding of what it means to be a slave of God; being that in Him we live and move and have our being. We are wholly dependent on Him for the very sustenance of our life. As such, we could not hide or run from God.

It is also explained in the bible that Jesus took the form of a slave, appearing as a human, humbling Himself, and subjecting himself to obedience of the entirety of the law—even to the point of death on a cross. In subjecting Himself as a submissive slave, He glorified God in the most perfect way. God, pleased with the offering of The Son placed all things in subjection under Him. Thus, Jesus Who is Lord of all by His Divine Nature became Lord of all by conquest to the glory of God the Father.

From this, we can understand that God the Son, Jesus, Who is Divine, condescended to take onto Himself, the nature of a human—a slave—thereby uniting both natures (Divine and Slave) within Himself. Such that by perfect obedience to God the Father, as the God-Man, He offered the most perfect sacrifice for us slaves so that we could be reconciled to the Father and have a share in His Divine Nature through our union with Him. It is our union with Him that enables us to be co-heirs with Him, as slaves and divine heirs. This is why Jesus said, “So, if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” The only possible way to be united with Him is to be aligned in His Will, keeping His commands. Rebellion, by its nature, cannot coexist with union. And elsewhere, disobedience is equated to unbelief: “And to whom did he swear that they should never enter His rest, but to those who were disobedient? So, we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief.“

The most perfect, easiest, and quickest way to be in union with Jesus is through the humble path He opened to us: Mary. The humble Mary, full of grace and without blemish through the merits of Christ, exemplifies the perfect slave of Christ. She became the most intimate and personal means for Christ to come to us, clothing himself in her flesh. In doing so, He retained His Divine Nature and Immensity while embracing humanity and allowing Himself to be comprehended by her in the most profound way. Through Mary, we find the most perfect and intimate path to union with Jesus and deeper knowledge of Him. Since Jesus chose to give himself completely to Mary in this way without reserve, and to make Himself known to us, we cannot err in imitating Him by embracing the same devotion He shares for His mother, since we would be imitating Christ; the focus of the Christian life.

We were made to know Him, to love Him, to serve Him, and to be happy with Him in the next. In portraying the faithful servitude of a slave, Jesus offers an example: no one who has a servant laboring all day in the field would invite the servant to sit at the table upon returning. Rather, the master will ask the servant to first prepare and serve his meal; only once the master is served and fed is the servant permitted to eat. Moreover, the master does not thank the servant for simply doing what was commanded. In the same way, we should not expect thanks for fulfilling our duty to serve God, especially as we are unworthy or imperfect.

If Christ Himself was rejected and condemned by the world, how can we, as Christians, expect a life free of suffering when serving Him, when He is our Lord and Master? Even then, God is generous and boundless in His love, and cannot be outdone in His generosity and love. Yet we, as slaves of love, are duty-bound to serve Him with humility, always recognizing that our service is ultimately for our own sanctification and eternal good. For He is able to make the stones cry out in worship and glorify Him.

St. Paul succinctly re-affirms the perspective when he stated, “You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”, addressing the Body of Christ. This highlights that all in the Body of Christ are slaves of Christ by conquest, with our end to glorify God. I would like to mention again that God does not need us. If He willed, He could raise up stones to be His heirs. Yet, He seeks a relationship with us. Why would He desire this, considering what we are? It is a mystery beyond comprehension—but it is love. True love. We are the work of His hands and He has loved us with an everlasting love. Elsewhere, St. Paul calls himself a slave of Christ.

There is therefore no shame in being a slave of God, as Jesus—being God—out of His profound humility, took on the form of a slave. Indeed, it is wholly admirable to be in loving servitude to God, for truly we have nothing to offer Him that He did not first give to us. Furthermore, in His perfect obedience to the entirety of the law, Jesus chose to subject Himself to Mary as a slave. Through this, He has shown us a path to embrace a devotion of loving servitude to Mary as a means of loving Him more perfectly, always with God as the ultimate goal and end of such devotion. Consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary. Visit this link for help: Consecration to Jesus through the hands of Mary

Just some food for thought to help you reflect and, God-willing, deepen your knowledge of God. In turn, may this also deepen your understanding of yourself—bringing you ever closer to true freedom.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used to refine this write up.

I love this rendition!

Katmira's Blog

Writing Pieces That Inspire Thought

On Christian Veiling

Holiness

For An Increase in Faith

Discernment

Ave Maria, Gratia Plena

Through this Valley of Tears

No Small Feat

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Connections: Through Eyes of Faith

To Jesus Through Mary—A Personal Reflection

We are Sons, Not Slaves

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