By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone. Pray the Rosary.

I have had 3 sleep paralysis episodes since I spoke about my nightmares on one of my previous posts. I wonder if I can say the nightmares are back. Perhaps, I have seen the last of it. God knows.

The first one, I panicked because I could see nothing and it felt like my words were being choked and I could hardly get out a word, although I kept yelling in my head for my Father. When I woke up, I was disappointed that I panicked. I made a resolve to not panic the next time it happens and I abandoned myself to the providence of God knowing He had allowed it to happen. I suppose it was humbling. I did not keep record of the date of the first one. I felt as though whatever it was was strong but I also know God is stronger. I decided to keep sleeping on my back because it seems to be the best position for me to get a sleep paralysis.

The second and third episodes happened in the early hours of Monday Morning (20May2024). I did not sleep until the early hours of Monday morning because I was busy and I slept on my back just as I have been doing. I stayed calm and started to sing a song “God of Mercy and Compassion Look with pity upon me”. After a while, I heard voices in the distance singing with me. I paused my singing and strained to listen to the voices sing, then after a short while I stopped hearing the singing. I realized I got distracted and immediately continued singing the refrain of the song, “Jesus, Lord, I ask for mercy; Let me not implore in vain; All my sins—I now detest them, never will I sin again.” Soon after that I could feel myself regain freedom and hear myself singing the song out loud as I was rousing out of sleep, and a film rolled off my body from my head down the length of my body. Eyes open, my body felt so heated and took a while to cool down. Was I really singing out loud? My memory on that became blank moments after waking up and yet I feel as though I did since I did hear myself singing to my ears, to my amazement, moments before opening my eyes, and I know I could tell the exact moment I was waking up too. I also know I have woken up singing a praise to God in the past, so it is highly possible. I stayed in that position for a while and considered going back to sleep immediately. I did not want to show even a little fear and for the most part I was not afraid. However, I wanted to sing the full song because during the paralysis, I couldn’t get past the first verse, because I couldn’t remember the other verses and ended up repeating the refrain over and over again.

I checked my phone, and it was around 2:50 a.m or maybe a little bit before. I did not write this down as it happened, so I am not sure about exact times. However, it occurred to me that it was almost the 3 o’clock hour. So, I figured that I would say the Divine Mercy Prayer, which I did and for the next hour after that all I did was sing the song, although I noticed towards the end that I’d dose off for a second or so. I found a choir on Spotify and the voices sound to me, quite similar to the voices I heard, but who knows apart from God with 100% certainty or those who have seen God. I used the choir to guide my singing.

I went back to sleep again, and I had another sleep paralysis episode or rather, I should say it mimicked a sleep paralysis episode. I was calm again asking for God’s help. Then, whatever it is dropped the charade and lifted me off where I lay. I did not see it or feel it hold me, so it was like I hovered. I thought I could not move before, but when I asked Jesus to hold my hand, my hand was able to reach out into thin air. It placed me down and I wondered if it was ending but it lifted me up again, swung me backwards for momentum and dramatics to get me to panic, swung me forward towards a wall and I woke up on my bed. I am disappointed that I panicked but I am only human after all, which I said to God. I am nothing and I am entrusting myself to Him to do with me what He wills.

Bear in mind, that this is all a reconstruction of a memory hours after it occurred, and as such the order or manner of events may not be 100% accurate, but it is the way I remember it and believe it to be.

I believe I said the Anima Christi when awake, perhaps after the first sleep paralysis episode this morning or both times, or at least asked God to command me to come to Him, if He wills.

It is not common to have 2 sleep paralysis episodes in succession. At least I don’t think so. I have been saying prayers on the website of St. Michael Center for Spiritual Renewal for some days now, so I said some, and prayed using some bible verses my mom has advised me to read if I have a bad dream, before going back to sleep.

It is easy to think that God is not answering my prayers or hearing me. A brief thought such as this passed through my mind, but I brushed it off because I know the healing that has taken place in me, when I think back to the person I once was. Particularly, the burning and prickly anger that gripped me when offended and robbed me of self-control. For the most part, I do not feel that anymore and I know it is all thanks to God and the intercession of Mary undoer of Knots. I have also been forgiving everyone and forgiving myself recently over and over again, as well as praying for God to bless them tremendously and incomprehensibly, and also asking God to forgive the ones that did me grave harm. Plus, I go to very frequent confession, receive frequent Communion, and have been doing major prayers to God for the healing of myself and the people around me by the Most Precious Blood of Jesus. I have made some discoveries through my prayer to Our Lady of Sorrows. I think one of my prayers has made something vindictive and petty mad and it wants to make me feel small and powerless. The thing is I already know I am nothing and God is everything. My only concern is getting to Heaven, and I choose to rely completely on the Mercy of God which is endless and His Compassion which is inexhaustible.

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Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.