By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well. It has been a while since my last post. It was not planned but I have to admit, it did feel good not to post anything. I had an idea (or maybe two) in between but I didn’t get around to starting it. More recently, I had some experiences which I didn’t want to forget so I decided to write them down in order to remember and that is how this post took shape. Before I go any further, I’d like to remind you all to pray the Rosary!

It’s not about you…

Recently, I realized that I’ve endured a lot in jobs for the sake of a paycheck and in the hopes of something better in the future. But when it came to a volunteering opportunity I’d committed to, one small inconvenience, an unpleasant interaction, made me want to walk away. I told myself I could always volunteer elsewhere—but where, and when? Would I ever follow through again?

At first, I didn’t see the parallel between my work life and this volunteering situation. But eventually I did. I don’t believe that insight was what changed my mind, though. After I considered quitting, I prayed against my huge ego and asked God to show me whether He wanted me to continue, even though, truthfully, I was pretty set on not going back. I figured if He wanted me there, He would change my heart.

That morning, someone reminded me that I’m doing this for God, not for the person I would like to avoid. I already knew that. I thought it the night before, and it had nearly convinced me—until I went back to thinking I could just volunteer elsewhere.

Then after Sunday Mass, I saw a video of a young boy saying, “It’s not about me—it’s about serving others”. He also mentioned how Jesus, though inconvenienced, still went the extra mile to heal people. That struck me. It reminded me of a scene from The Chosen, where Jesus tells James and John to till a plot of land—later revealed to be the land of a Gentile. When they wanted to call down fire on their enemies, Jesus lovingly corrected them and they got the names “sons of thunder”. I’m not sure if all of this occurs at the same scene but it stayed with me.

Hearing “it’s not about me” filled me with joy—at least for a little while. I felt free when I heard it, but the doubt crept back in: Do I really have to volunteer there?

After that, maybe the next day, I listened to a video of a recounting of Jesus’ suffering on the cross: His wounded back scraping the wood every time He had to lift Himself up just to breathe painfully. That is the height of inconvenience. And it moved me. I think it made my mind firm about going back.

It wasn’t until I confessed this to a priest and heard him say something to the effect of me simply wanting to follow my own desire that I realised I was being led by the flesh. Later, as I stood before the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, I found myself telling Mary something along the lines of: I am foolish. I know it, and you know it. I wouldn’t even recognize if I were doing something terribly wrong unless you told me.

Looking back, I think I was only able to see the connection between this experience and my work life in a solid, indisputable way, when back home. And when I did, I couldn’t help but thank God—perhaps Mary too, as I often likewise thank Mary, and ask her to offer thanks for me most perfectly—because His hand in all of it felt unmistakable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A dream…

I was on my way to work, following a new practice of reading a chapter or two of the Bible, using the YouVersion app while on transit. After reading the verse of the day, I usually open the full chapter and sometimes continue to the next. That morning, before I even began, these words floated through my mind: “You are a priest forever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.”

When I opened the reading, I found myself in the book of Hebrews and unexpectedly, the chapter spoke of Melchizedek’s priesthood. I kept reading, chapter after chapter, stunned by the God-coincidence. I may have thought then or later that day, “God is real.”

Later that same day, I saw a post by Novena Cards on Instagram announcing that two novenas were beginning that day: one to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, and the other to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It took me a moment to realize they share a feast day, something I had never known before. That’s when a memory surfaced: a dream I had in the past, where I believe I prayed in this way, “Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us. Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us… Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us. Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us.”

I remember waking up from that dream thinking, “I don’t really recall saying the title ‘Our Lady of Perpetual Help’ before”. I wondered if the title might be connected to Our Lady of Succour. But the deeper meaning didn’t hit me until I saw that post. And in that moment or perhaps it was a developing thought throughout the day, I felt overwhelmingly aware that God is real. God is present. God is with me.

I didn’t quite know how to respond to this. Should I go home after work or go to church/mass? Or maybe just follow through with that networking event I had signed up for but really didn’t want to attend?

I ultimately chose to follow through and attend the networking event.

I found myself thinking, “Wow…God has revealed this to me”. I had only just started praying for understanding of some dreams I’ve had, although I’m not sure I thought of this one specifically—but maybe…

At one moment that same day, I felt like I was flying. I hoped it would last…though I didn’t expect it to.

I also considered that this is God’s mercy to me. I sensed that this meaning I have found is only a small part of the dream’s meaning but even that small part feels like so much. Since then, I’ve felt courage I hadn’t known before. Where I was once silent, I’ve begun to speak up. And even when cowardice tries to creep back in, I’ve kept speaking up—so far, at least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Divine Timing…

That day, I also found myself pondering a passage from Hebrews: “One might even say that Levi himself, who receives tithes, paid tithes through Abraham, for he was still in the loins of his ancestor when Melchizedek met him.”

There is divine timing and a divine order to life. If Levi, generations removed, could be said to have paid tithes through Abraham, then so could Isaac, who hadn’t been born yet. Abraham had Isaac after returning from the slaughter of the kings, being blessed by Melchizedek and giving tithes to Melchizedek. This precise sequence allows it to be possible for us to be able to say that all Abraham’s descendants gave tithes to Melchizedek through Abraham. Taking into consideration also that “not all descended from Israel belong to Israel, but only the children of the promise are reckoned as descendants”. This is because there are 2 races, one according to the flesh, and one according to the promise, so that the purpose of God’s election might continue because of His call and His mercy, so no one can boast.

“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion”.

God is Love. God is Mercy. God’s mercy is His love. What could be perceived as a delay or an unfulfilled promise was indeed God’s divine timing.

It made me consider: what else do we (I) mistake for a delay and try to hurry along or control like Sarah when she gave Hagar to Abraham, and even then God knew she would do this and it did not stop the God’s blessing from going to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob (Israel) and the heirs of the promise rooted in faith in Christ, Just as God has promised. God factors in our weaknesses when He deals with us.

I think we just have to open up and allow Him to work, or cooperate, and trust that He perfects all things in His time. Still, that space between the imperfect and perfect can be frustrating, hard, bitter and painfully disheartening, that is, if we fix our focus there. The challenge is to look forward in hope to where God’s work of grace is perfected. I heard somewhere that part of what makes learning a new thing hard is that we do not tend to our expectations and we ought to acknowledge to ourselves that it is going to be hard but it will get better. We can apply the same principle to the faith journey, since this is our first/only experience living this life. When I imagine the purifying flames which I will go through on that day, it brings me joy that I will not sin again after that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool. Mama Mary was (is) watching over me. God was (is) looking after me.