Category Archives: Belief

No Small Feat

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Here’s your reminder to pray the Rosary.

Today, I am going to share my journey towards obtaining my driver’s license in Alberta. It has been filled with setbacks, imperfections, and difficult moments. Yet through it all, I’m thankful that God sustained me, never let me go, and faithfully brought me to the other side.

It all began in 2023 with me studying for the knowledge test. It took me such a long time to go through the driving manual from front to back. Still, I failed the knowledge test on my first try and barely passed on my second attempt. By God’s grace, I managed to guess the last few questions correctly and scored 25 out of 30—the minimum passing mark. I was overjoyed. I had assumed I would fail again with only maybe one or two questions left, so this felt like a miracle. I want to preface this by saying that many people do pass on their first try—like my older brother, whose “really?” face I still remember, when he heard I had failed. I don’t think the knowledge test in Alberta is excessively difficult. It was just challenging for me.

The next hurdle was learning to drive on the road. I enrolled in a driving school’s program that included an online course and road course package. Completing the program would earn me a certificate that could help reduce insurance costs and shorten the Class 5 GDL (probationary license) period from two years to 18 months. Driving was tougher than I expected. Ten hours of instruction didn’t seem enough. My instructor suggested more practice, so I drove occasionally with my older brother and rarely with a friend who lent me his car. The driving school required me to meet a certain score on their evaluation sheet before issuing the certificate.

In late 2023, I paused lessons because of winter approaching and the thought of driving induced a lot of anxiety. But when spring or summer arrived in 2024, I reached out to the school, determined to earn the certificate. I completed 18 hours of road training in total with the school before she declared me road-ready and issued the certificate, but I still didn’t feel confident. My heart would pound every time I sat behind the wheel. The criticisms I’d heard were loudest.

I took my first driving test using a registry car. Its analog accelerator gauge was unfamiliar, and its acceleration was jerky and the brakes required extra pressure than I was used to, so my nerves grew, and I missed a stop sign while entering a parking lot. We didn’t get on the highway. On my second attempt, I had the same tester. My anxiety was worse. He believed I should’ve paused for a vehicle with the right-of-way, but I proceeded, thinking I had enough space and time. I failed again. I don’t clearly remember the next four tests. At one point, I even considered taking herbal medicine to calm myself down but I don’t think I wanted to rely on that so, ultimately I decided to leave everything to God. I prayed a daily novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots (although it is supposed to end at 9 days), even when I wasn’t driving. After I failed the 6th road test, which I’d felt God called me to go ahead and take, I took a break from testing in 2024. During this final test of 2024 (attempt #6), I sensed the anxious feeling quietly leave me while I drove. I realised that praying the Novena to Our Lady undoer of knots daily worked so I continued it.

Around Christmas time, I drove with my sister. Her presence felt calm, safe, and warm. I did not sense any anxiety in me or her. She let me know after the drive that I could drive, made small mistakes and I just needed more confidence.

In 2025, I resumed lessons with a different school. After a series of sessions, my instructor informed me that I could drive and he seemed almost guilty to take my money for more sessions. He recommended driving on my own with some support. I felt hesitant reaching out to him again, but I eventually trained with another instructor from the same school who helped me improve in areas I knew I struggled with.

In 2024, I had purchased prescription polarised sunglasses, and found out that driving in socks helped me control speed and steering better. But by 2025, I realised I could still manage with snug shoes even though wearing socks gave me better control, and I felt comfortable enough to not rely on the prescription polarized glasses. Most importantly, my heart no longer raced uncontrollably while driving, although a trace of apprehension lingered before the drive. So, I assumed I was calm while driving.

I failed my first road test this year (attempt #7) due to visual and spatial awareness challenges. I missed crucial road markings and misjudged the lane of an approaching car as I attempted a right turn. The tester applied the brakes. He allowed me to complete the test and I could surmise from the skills assessment I received that I would have passed if not for that mistake. His assessment gave me hope so, I rebooked another test about two weeks later, believing I could succeed.

I still didn’t wear my prescription polarised sunglasses. My plan was simple: if am unsure, I’d just let others go first. I wanted to drive in socks, since it had noticeably improved my speed and steering control during the earlier test. But during a lesson prior to my next attempt (#8), my instructor had noticed and insisted I wear shoes. Even though he was not present for my test, I didn’t want to be disobedient, and I wanted to honor him, so I complied. To be clear, I can drive with shoes. It’s just harder to sense the pressure I’m applying to the pedals due to low proprioception. That low sensory feedback means I could unintentionally speed—and in a test situation where everything is heightened, that is too risky. Speeding can happen in a heartbeat. So, it did on my second test. I went 40 in a 30 zone—an automatic fail. The tester let me finish the test and once again, from his assessment, I would have passed if not for that slip. I begged him to reconsider, pleading for mercy. But he refused, saying, “I cannot lie”. I was surprised by his wording. I hadn’t viewed my plea as asking him to lie—just asking for mercy.

I can’t say that I felt I had done something wrong for begging. I had even told my younger brother that maybe I should’ve begged during the first test this year (attempt #7), but I’d wanted to follow the process. Later that day, though, I reflected on the tester’s words. I had asked him for something that could compromise his integrity. And he’d declined. I felt terrible for asking, not because I intended deceit, but because I realized I had tempted him to sin. I genuinely believed mercy to be in the hands of the person who you plead your case with, and in this instance, it was this man. But, I suppose he is human and not God; and he has his responsibilities and I was placing the wrong request on him.

I felt a distrust start to creep in that God was not going to help me. Not even because He couldn’t, because He is God and He is all powerful, but because there must be a good from me failing that I cannot see or understand. I had prayed. I had faith. I worked hard (to the best of my ability), and yet I failed, even though I knew how to drive. It didn’t make sense. Life didn’t make sense. I felt kicked, beaten, and abandoned at the curbside. I felt truly defeated and I caught myself slipping back into old pattern of swearing as I spoke to my brother. It was like watching myself from the outside, stunned: I’m swearing. Why am I swearing?. By God’s grace, I stopped even though the pull was there to continue.

I considered taking a break from testing for a while. But my younger brother said “no”—firmly. He insisted I could drive and just needed to be careful. He hadn’t seen me drive, but he believed in me because minus one error I would have passed. He urged me to book another test right there at the registry. I sat on a bench close to registry, under the hot sun for a long time, until I finally went in. Later on, my sister echoed her encouragement. She worried I sounded defeated about the next test I had booked. But I couldn’t explain it. I didn’t understand. I couldn’t guarantee a different outcome. I gave thanks to God, but praying felt difficult. I felt sinful and like a failure in both my spiritual life and my earthly efforts. I felt abandoned by God and not helped by Him. Yet, I knew God had helped me because I remembered how I used to drive with my heart racing uncontrollably. And now I don’t. That change was real, even if I didn’t feel helped. I felt like nothing.

Before my first road test this year (attempt #7), I had prayed earnestly for God’s guidance—should I postpone or proceed? In the final moments leading up to the test, my prayers were answered. I received an unexpected opportunity to practice, and the weather shifted dramatically in my favor, contrary to the forecast. Even my Uber driver remarked on how beautiful the day was. I gave thanks to God out loud, taking it as a greenlight from Him to go forward. So, when I failed, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why would God tell me to go ahead if I was going to fail? I know it was definitely for good but I could not understand it. Maybe I thought I heard wrong but the answered prayers were so clear.

Prior to my second road test of this year (attempt #8), by God’s providence, I stumbled upon the story in Scripture where the Israelites (11 tribes), sought God’s guidance on whether to go to battle against the tribe of Benjamin (1 tribe). God told them to go, and they lost. Twice. It was only after they wept, fasted, offered sacrifice to God and returned to ask, not just whether they should fight, but whether they would triumph, that God assured them of victory. And they did. That story stayed with me and I decided to act like the Israelites: I fasted and prayed, seeking God’s voice not just for permission, but for outcome. During Mass, a passage was read about Jacob (Israel) wrestling with the God—a relentless grip for blessing—and leaving with a limp. That same day, my ball and socket joint had flared up and I limped slightly too, so, in my spirit, I concluded God had blessed me as well. I took it as a sign that I would pass. I can’t remember if anything else affirmed that conclusion, but I decided to have faith. So when I failed, my confusion came back, and I think I began to wonder if I’d been hearing my own voice all along and mistaking it for God’s voice. I questioned whether I had ever heard from God ever in my life. I questioned whether people deluded themselves when they said God spoke to them. I believe I concluded from scripture that God truly speaks to those He loves… or perhaps I concluded God speaks to those who truly love Him. Unclear at this point, but I think both are valid.

I went to confession the day after my 8th attempt. The priest told me that God’s message to me that day was the same one He gave to St. Paul: My grace is sufficient for you. St. Paul’s words came to me also: “I will boast all the more of my weakness”. He counselled me to trust in God’s grace and mercy, but I struggled to understand what it really meant to trust God’s mercy and grace, or what it meant to have faith or how to have faith. I questioned whether my faith was ever genuine because of my poor actions.

Daily, I ask God to interrupt my plans if they’re not aligned with His plan for me, and to move me into conformity with His plans. I’d heard someone online say this prayer, loved it and adopted it. In this time, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was just my prayer coming true. I felt a slight temptation to stop but I continued it because genuinely deep down, it is what I want even if my being revolts against it. 

I had been told by the priest at confession that the ability to do better is a gift from God and that I have it. So, in the six days leading up to attempt #9, I looked inward: what could I do better? I remembered my Apple Watch alerting me that my resting heart rate had hit 120 bpm before the previous test so, I’d removed it prior to the test to avoid distractions. I decided to check the data for the period I practiced, and my heart rate had climbed to 132 bpm. I think at the time I may have thought my baseline or lowest heart rate to be in the 50s, but I can say now that it got as low as 50 bpm on July 15th (a day before the test). So, I think it is safe to take that as a baseline. The thing is I never sensed any rise. In the past, I would hear my heart race uncontrollably but that stopped and I assumed I was calm, but the reading said otherwise. I realized my body had adapted to driving under pressure. However, the anxiety slipped into my feet, triggering unconscious sensory-seeking behavior to ground/regulate me: pressing harder on the accelerator (tactile/proprioceptive input) without noticing, due to low proprioception. I recalled all my reading last year (which I believe were guided by God) about proprioception and sensory seeking, which I’d pushed aside and did not prioritise because I didn’t feel qualified as a doctor to give a diagnosis. But on considering all of this, I decided to drive in socks on my last road test.

A day before the test, I noticed the early morning sun—mild for most—felt intense to my eyes. I got a headache and felt nauseous. I considered that perhaps my eyes could be sensitive to the sun, considering other times when I had the same reaction to what appeared to be low intensity sun but read to my eyes as high intensity. I’ve also had moments when the road appeared washed out and made it impossible to detect bends or markings but I can’t say I truly fully believed I had visual sensitivity even though I purchased prescription polarised sunglasses. I’d held back from wearing them while driving this year because I did not want to seem arrogant to the examiner and I seemed to be doing better without wearing them, but I suppose when this happened, I decided not to take any chances.

Another thing that helped me was that I stopped obsessing over each driving maneuver. I simply got in the car and drove on my 1-hour practice a day before, and my 1-hour practice the day of the test and also on the test. I also prayed “God forbid” whenever I felt trepidation sinking into my gut, and the fear retreated. This made me suspicious that perhaps, there was a problem which the enemy capitalised on and so the fear became excessive. To my mind, “God forbid” was my way of praying to God to rebuke it and also me coming out of agreement with it. I enlisted the help of everyone in Heaven (I believe), including my Guardian Angel, and I also braced my mind to accept whatever type of road condition I face. I stumbled upon an encouraging video about John Gurdon, a Nobel Prize winner in Physiology or Medicine, whose teacher had told him his ambition of being a scientist were ridiculous and a waste of time because he was bottom of a class of 250. I suppose it is already striking to me that he won a Nobel Prize in Medicine but what stood out most to me was what he said upon being congratulated and told the teacher was wrong. His response was, “Are you sure? You don’t know how many times I have done experiments that don’t work”. It was all humorous with a tinge of truth. The video spoke of perseverance and it felt God-sent.

I took my third road test this year (attempt #9) wearing prescription polarised sunglasses and socks. I passed with only 30 points off, the maximum allowed being 75, and I looked cool doing it to the glory of God. The points off were for hesitation and judgment related to hesitation (I’d wanted to be safe and to pass, and I got honked at once at a red light, where I thought it safest to wait for the person with the right of way to go by, but I’m supposing in the tester’s judgment it was not enough to fail). I learnt later on at Mass that that day (July 16th) was the Feast Day of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. When I considered it, it felt like a gentle Heavenly wink. This road test was harder than the previous two. I was taken through unfamiliar roads for the most part, which were busy, had tight corners, and construction zones. Yet, I was able to apply every lesson from my past training, including those failure had taught me. I had the same examiner as the last two times (attempt #7 and #8). This time, he opened the car door to inspect my parkings (parallel and downhill)—something he hadn’t done before and none of the testers before him ever did. I suppose he was being thorough. Good man.

Later on, I checked my heart rate data. From what is available to me, it appears to have started at 113 bpm, but during the test, it dipped into the 70s, peaked at 80 before settling at 77 bpm at 11:04 a.m. The test finished at 11:07 a.m. and I don’t have data for 3 minutes. But, essentially I was at resting heart rate for a time. And I said to myself: God is real. My heart rate seemed to spike up after the test at maybe 11:11a.m. to 127 to 130 bpm, but my assumption is that at that time, I was expecting to hear I had failed again, as I waited for his corrections to be over, but instead I heard him say I passed and that I should go inside to upgrade my license.

Someone I told about passing the test, praised my perseverance—but I overheard them say they didn’t think I would pass because I hadn’t driven much, I am guessing between the last fail and the final test or perhaps because of how spaced out my lessons were, and all the other times I’d failed. But you know what, I could not tell either, but it goes to show that human perception is limited and God’s mercy does not depend on the thoughts of people. This was no small feat.

If I could list the factors that made learning to drive especially challenging, they would include:

  • Anxiety — pervasive and gripping, especially during tests.
  • Criticism — I have come to understand there is a difference between correction to build a person up and criticism which tears you down. One corrects and proffers solution, the other tears down with no solution proffered such that the individual becomes the problem and not the issue at hand being the problem. Correct them but if they don’t take you seriously, limit your performance of anything important to you in their knowing or presence and if you can, surround yourself with people who correct to build up. You’ll be surprised how much wonders this will do for you.
  • Photosensitivity, contrast distortion & Vision Issues — The glare and reflection of sunlight sometimes caused the road to appear completely washed out, erasing clear distinctions between bends, lane markings, and surface textures, and sometimes my glasses felt insufficient to help with my short sightedness.
  • Low Spatial Awareness — gradually improved, but still not perfect; I’ve reached “safe” levels for driving. I’m more attuned to positioning, movement, and distance, though I remain mindful.
  • Low Proprioception — particularly in my feet, which made speed control and steering unpredictable at times.
  • Unclear Guidance from Instructors — Sometimes, they didn’t clearly explain how to perform actions, just expected results.
  • Lack of Regular Access to a Car — limited my ability to reinforce lessons through practice.
  • Instructor Misalignment with Examiner Expectations — I wasn’t properly taught about the expectations of the tester. For example how the tester expects a shoulder check to be until a tester flagged it. Afterwards, I exaggerated my head turns during checks, even doing multiple—and testers praised me on it in a manner I thought felt excessive but it boosted my confidence in that area. Another area was that none of my instructors even pointed out my wide right turns apart from the testers. I had to share that with them and still they didn’t tell me how to fix it, they just expected me to know. I had to figure out I had to steer a lot more. Seems simple now but I really didn’t know.
  • Low Awareness of My Body & Needs — I was often disconnected from what my body was experiencing or needing while driving.
  • Poor Nervous System Regulation — fight-or-flight responses were common and uncontrollable.
  • Difficulty Processing Test Directions — My ability to mentally process the verbal testing directions felt slow and labored, which led to delayed reactions and poor execution which triggered anxiety and a sense of panic, clouding my confidence and making it harder to perform tasks I had otherwise prepared for. This got better with time and failure.
  • Difficulty Remembering Rules to Apply them: Failing caused it to stick to memory better. I also learn better through experience than verbal communication. I process that better.
  • Discomfort with Examiner Presence — their watchful silence made me more anxious and less intuitive.
  • Discomfort with New Roads: New roads or places can feel disconcerting to me, although that didn’t seem to matter on my last test. Although I was disconcerted, letting out a shaky, thoughtful “hmmm” at certain moments, my mind and body seemed to have adapted under pressure, such that I was able to drive safely, thanks to God.
  • Difficulty Prioritizing My Comfort — I often chose to “fit in” over choosing methods that helped me drive better (like socks over shoes).
  • Distrust in My Instincts — I resisted decisions that felt right for me in order to follow what seemed normal to me or others.
  • Agreement with Anxiety — Somewhere down the line, I don’t know when, but I had accepted anxiety and this had to be broken.
  • Choosing Times Based on Traffic Hope, Not Mental Readiness — I’d select quiet times for tests, rather than mentally preparing for any road condition that God permits, and I’d face the opposite.

To anyone who thinks I’ve over-spiritualized this, I’ve come to believe that we’re meant to spiritualize everything. We are body and soul—not separate—but one integrated being, only divided at death, which was never part of God’s original plan. In the resurrection of the dead, there will be a resurrection to life and a resurrection of judgement, and in both, body and soul will be reunited. St. Paul even tells us that the battle is not merely physical—it’s a fight between the forces of God and the powers of darkness. Beneath the surface of daily life, there is a very real war between good and evil. So, I don’t believe it is excessive to examine life through a spiritual lens. It is right to honor what our natural senses are often too limited to perceive. I give thanks to God for He has done a great thing for me, undeserving as I am. Indeed, it is hard to believe. I also thank Mother Mary, my Guardian Angel, St. Joseph and all the Angels and Saints for their intercession.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool.

A great song you could listen to!

Other Posts from Me

Connections: Through Eyes of Faith

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well. It has been a while since my last post. It was not planned but I have to admit, it did feel good not to post anything. I had an idea (or maybe two) in between but I didn’t get around to starting it. More recently, I had some experiences which I didn’t want to forget so I decided to write them down in order to remember and that is how this post took shape. Before I go any further, I’d like to remind you all to pray the Rosary!

It’s not about you…

Recently, I realized that I’ve endured a lot in jobs for the sake of a paycheck and in the hopes of something better in the future. But when it came to a volunteering opportunity I’d committed to, one small inconvenience, an unpleasant interaction, made me want to walk away. I told myself I could always volunteer elsewhere—but where, and when? Would I ever follow through again?

At first, I didn’t see the parallel between my work life and this volunteering situation. But eventually I did. I don’t believe that insight was what changed my mind, though. After I considered quitting, I prayed against my huge ego and asked God to show me whether He wanted me to continue, even though, truthfully, I was pretty set on not going back. I figured if He wanted me there, He would change my heart.

That morning, someone reminded me that I’m doing this for God, not for the person I would like to avoid. I already knew that. I thought it the night before, and it had nearly convinced me—until I went back to thinking I could just volunteer elsewhere.

Then after Sunday Mass, I saw a video of a young boy saying, “It’s not about me—it’s about serving others”. He also mentioned how Jesus, though inconvenienced, still went the extra mile to heal people. That struck me. It reminded me of a scene from The Chosen, where Jesus tells James and John to till a plot of land—later revealed to be the land of a Gentile. When they wanted to call down fire on their enemies, Jesus lovingly corrected them and they got the names “sons of thunder”. I’m not sure if all of this occurs at the same scene but it stayed with me.

Hearing “it’s not about me” filled me with joy—at least for a little while. I felt free when I heard it, but the doubt crept back in: Do I really have to volunteer there?

After that, maybe the next day, I listened to a video of a recounting of Jesus’ suffering on the cross: His wounded back scraping the wood every time He had to lift Himself up just to breathe painfully. That is the height of inconvenience. And it moved me. I think it made my mind firm about going back.

It wasn’t until I confessed this to a priest and heard him say something to the effect of me simply wanting to follow my own desire that I realised I was being led by the flesh. Later, as I stood before the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, I found myself telling Mary something along the lines of: I am foolish. I know it, and you know it. I wouldn’t even recognize if I were doing something terribly wrong unless you told me.

Looking back, I think I was only able to see the connection between this experience and my work life in a solid, indisputable way, when back home. And when I did, I couldn’t help but thank God—perhaps Mary too, as I often likewise thank Mary, and ask her to offer thanks for me most perfectly—because His hand in all of it felt unmistakable.

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A dream…

I was on my way to work, following a new practice of reading a chapter or two of the Bible, using the YouVersion app while on transit. After reading the verse of the day, I usually open the full chapter and sometimes continue to the next. That morning, before I even began, these words floated through my mind: “You are a priest forever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.”

When I opened the reading, I found myself in the book of Hebrews and unexpectedly, the chapter spoke of Melchizedek’s priesthood. I kept reading, chapter after chapter, stunned by the God-coincidence. I may have thought then or later that day, “God is real.”

Later that same day, I saw a post by Novena Cards on Instagram announcing that two novenas were beginning that day: one to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, and the other to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It took me a moment to realize they share a feast day, something I had never known before. That’s when a memory surfaced: a dream I had in the past, where I believe I prayed in this way, “Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us. Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us… Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us. Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us.”

I remember waking up from that dream thinking, “I don’t really recall saying the title ‘Our Lady of Perpetual Help’ before”. I wondered if the title might be connected to Our Lady of Succour. But the deeper meaning didn’t hit me until I saw that post. And in that moment or perhaps it was a developing thought throughout the day, I felt overwhelmingly aware that God is real. God is present. God is with me.

I didn’t quite know how to respond to this. Should I go home after work or go to church/mass? Or maybe just follow through with that networking event I had signed up for but really didn’t want to attend?

I ultimately chose to follow through and attend the networking event.

I found myself thinking, “Wow…God has revealed this to me”. I had only just started praying for understanding of some dreams I’ve had, although I’m not sure I thought of this one specifically—but maybe…

At one moment that same day, I felt like I was flying. I hoped it would last…though I didn’t expect it to.

I also considered that this is God’s mercy to me. I sensed that this meaning I have found is only a small part of the dream’s meaning but even that small part feels like so much. Since then, I’ve felt courage I hadn’t known before. Where I was once silent, I’ve begun to speak up. And even when cowardice tries to creep back in, I’ve kept speaking up—so far, at least.

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Divine Timing…

That day, I also found myself pondering a passage from Hebrews: “One might even say that Levi himself, who receives tithes, paid tithes through Abraham, for he was still in the loins of his ancestor when Melchizedek met him.”

There is divine timing and a divine order to life. If Levi, generations removed, could be said to have paid tithes through Abraham, then so could Isaac, who hadn’t been born yet. Abraham had Isaac after returning from the slaughter of the kings, being blessed by Melchizedek and giving tithes to Melchizedek. This precise sequence allows it to be possible for us to be able to say that all Abraham’s descendants gave tithes to Melchizedek through Abraham. Taking into consideration also that “not all descended from Israel belong to Israel, but only the children of the promise are reckoned as descendants”. This is because there are 2 races, one according to the flesh, and one according to the promise, so that the purpose of God’s election might continue because of His call and His mercy, so no one can boast.

“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion”.

God is Love. God is Mercy. God’s mercy is His love. What could be perceived as a delay or an unfulfilled promise was indeed God’s divine timing.

It made me consider: what else do we (I) mistake for a delay and try to hurry along or control like Sarah when she gave Hagar to Abraham, and even then God knew she would do this and it did not stop the God’s blessing from going to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob (Israel) and the heirs of the promise rooted in faith in Christ, Just as God has promised. God factors in our weaknesses when He deals with us.

I think we just have to open up and allow Him to work, or cooperate, and trust that He perfects all things in His time. Still, that space between the imperfect and perfect can be frustrating, hard, bitter and painfully disheartening, that is, if we fix our focus there. The challenge is to look forward in hope to where God’s work of grace is perfected. I heard somewhere that part of what makes learning a new thing hard is that we do not tend to our expectations and we ought to acknowledge to ourselves that it is going to be hard but it will get better. We can apply the same principle to the faith journey, since this is our first/only experience living this life. When I imagine the purifying flames which I will go through on that day, it brings me joy that I will not sin again after that.

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On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool. Mama Mary was (is) watching over me. God was (is) looking after me.

A song you could listen to!

To Jesus Through Mary—A Personal Reflection

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

I recently realized that I may not have been entirely clear about the sources of the information I’ve shared regarding devotion to Mary and the path to Jesus through her. I had thought I was, but upon reflection, I see that I could have been more precise.

My last post, ‘We are sons, not slaves,’ was inspired by two books—the Bible and True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis Marie de Montfort—as well as the teachings of the Heralds of the Gospel, a Catholic International Association of Pontifical Right that has learned from both teachers and St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s writings.

At times, I reflect on the fact that I do not have a spiritual director and have expressed this to Mary, and claimed her as my own. Yet, I also think it is fair to consider the saints as my teachers, particularly St. Louis Marie de Montfort in this case. I do not possess half of his devotion or love for Mary—and if I claimed to be close to half, that would be generous—but his words resonate with me as though they were written about my life. His prayer to Jesus feels as if I could have spoken those very words myself: “Ah, would that I could proclaim throughout the whole world the mercy that Thou hast shown to me! Would that everyone might know I should be already damned, were it not for Mary! Would that I might offer worthy thanksgiving for so great a blessing! Mary is in me. Oh, what a treasure! Oh, what a consolation! And shall I not be entirely hers?”.

I have used strong words to describe Jesus’ complete giving of Himself to Mary, stating that He wrapped Himself in her flesh. I am unsure where I first encountered this phrase. Initially, I thought it came from St. Louis Marie de Montfort, but now I am uncertain. Perhaps it arose from the saint’s reflection on a holy person—also a slave of Mary like Jesus—who was described as being wrapped up in her. Regardless, the intention expressed by those words is that Jesus is the seed of Mary from her flesh, and that in her 2 natures were united Divinity and Humanity, at the incarnation. It reveals the profound intimacy of the incarnation. I don’t believe my expression was literal but rather an expression of a mystery—one the heart understands if it is open. However, who could truly claim full understanding of the mystery of the Incarnation or how it came to be? If in truth, even a minute aspect of it meant Jesus walked among us with flesh wrapped around His divinity, I wonder if such simplicity could be dismissed if echoed by Jesus on the last day. Additionally, Mary’s womb is the sacred dwelling place where Heaven and earth met in the Incarnation, where God and man remain united in Christ, and where souls continue to be formed in holiness, grow mature in enlightenment, in experience and in wisdom, and in a short time reach the fullness of the age of Christ.

In St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s words: the principal mystery celebrated and honoured in the true devotion to Mary is the mystery of the Incarnation where we find Jesus only in Mary, having become incarnate in her womb, it is appropriate for us to call the devotion, “slavery of Jesus in Mary”, of Jesus dwelling enthroned in Mary, according to the beautiful prayer, recited by so many great souls, “O Jesus living in Mary”.

He further explains that these expressions show more clearly the intimate union existing between Jesus and Mary. He writes: “So closely are they united that one is wholly the other. Jesus is all in Mary and Mary is all in Jesus. Or rather, it is no longer she who lives, but Jesus alone who lives in her. It would be easier to separate light from the sun than Mary from Jesus. So united are they that our Lord may be called, “Jesus of Mary”, and His Mother “Mary of Jesus”“.

Here are his brief remarks on the incarnation:

  • The Incarnation is the first mystery of Jesus Christ; it is the most hidden; and it is the most exalted and the least known.
  • It was in this mystery that Jesus, in the womb of Mary and with her co-operation, chose all the elect. For this reason the saints called her womb, the throne-room of God’s mysteries. It was in this mystery that Jesus anticipated all subsequent mysteries of His life by His willing acceptance of them. Consequently, this mystery is a summary of all His mysteries since it contains the intention and the grace of them all.
  • Lastly, this mystery is the seat of the mercy, the liberality, and the glory of God. It is the seat of His mercy for us, since we can approach and speak to Jesus through Mary. We need her intervention to see or speak to him. Here, ever responsive to the prayer of His Mother, Jesus unfailingly grants grace and mercy to all poor sinners. “Let us come boldly before the throne of grace”.
  • It is the seat of liberality for Mary, because while the new Adam dwelt in this truly earthly paradise God performed there so many hidden marvels beyond the understanding of men and angels. For this reason, the saints call Mary “the magnificence of God”, as if God showed His magnificence only in Mary.
  • It is the seat of glory for His Father, because it was in Mary that Jesus perfectly atoned to His Father on behalf of mankind. It was here that He perfectly restored the glory that sin had taken from His Father. It was here again that our Lord, by the sacrifice of Himself and of His will, gave more glory to God than He would have given had He offered all the sacrifices of the Old Law. Finally, in Mary He gave His Father infinite glory, such as His Father had never received from man.

I would not have esteemed his words so highly had he not spoken of Mary with such profound love and devotion. Nor would I have valued them had he not been a canonized saint, speaking alongside other canonized saints who shared the same devotion. His words, which I already held in high regard, carried even greater weight when I learned that Pope St. John Paul II himself esteemed them. More recently, my appreciation deepened as I renewed my consecration to Jesus through Mary last month. During the 33-day period, I came to see how his writings resonate profoundly with my own life—as though I were reading the truth of my own life. It would be helpful to exercise discernment when listening to perspectives contrary to the words in this book. Listen with discernment, always seeking to uphold and honor Mary and Jesus—with prayer for yourself, for those speaking, and for God’s mercy. Should you choose to respond, do so with all the angelic kindness and deep humility of Mary—or most perfectly, with all of her virtues.

It can be confusing to sort through these perspectives. I once heard a very Catholic man confidently state that Mary was just like everyone else before she gave her Fiat: “I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word”. His brilliance on other matters captivated me, so I didn’t immediately reject his claim that night. Yet, I didn’t accept it either. Whether it lingered in my mind out of unease or temptation—or perhaps both—I’m unsure, as time has passed. But the next morning, as I prayed the Rosary, his words resurfaced, and deep within, I felt a conviction that his words did not align with truth.

I acknowledge that Mary is human like everyone else and that doesn’t change at the point of her Fiat, so I can see that this is not the point being made. The only change in state that I can see is that she went from being the predestined Mother of God to Mother of God, and yet who else was prepared for it by God. Given this, would it be fitting to consider Mary just like everyone else until she gave her Fiat—especially in light of the dogma of the Immaculate Conception? After all, the angel Gabriel’s greeting at the Annunciation affirms her unique grace: ‘Hail, full of grace’.

For a long time, I wondered where the phrase “full of grace” in the Hail Mary originated, since some Bible translations render Luke 1:28 as “Hail, O highly favored one”. By God’s grace—and through Mary’s quiet ordering of my life—I stumbled upon an insightful explanation in a Q&A on Catholic.com which illuminated the richness of the original Greek.

The answer I found was that meaning can sometimes be lost in translation. I’ve even experienced this with my own Igbo name, Amarachukwu. At one time, my mom explained that it meant more than the Grace of God. It apparently carries a deeper blend of grace, mercy, and goodness (or so), in its meaning—particularly directed toward her and me—which is difficult to fully express in a single English word. Yet, if asked, I will say it means Grace of God, as that is the common understanding. According to the writer of the post, the same challenge applies to the translation “full of grace”. The Greek phrase pleres charitos is what translates literally to “full of grace” and it appears in reference to Jesus (John 1:14) and St. Stephen (Acts 6:8), with its meaning shaped by context, such that we can infer that anyone who has recently been baptized or received the sacrament of confession is pleres charitos. In Luke 1:28, however, the angel uses kecharitomene, derived from charitoo (meaning “to give grace”). This verb, kecharitomene, is in the perfect passive participle tense (which I learned is more accurate than ‘past perfect’), signifying that the action of grace was to the fullest, in the past and with enduring effects. The verb is used as a title. Gabriel does not say “Hail Mary, you are kecharitomene” but rather “Hail kecharitomene” 

I am not a theologian but to my mind the greeting could be rendered as ‘Hail, one who has been graced to the fullest and enduringly, the Lord is with you’ or perhaps colloquially as “Hello, Your Royal Highness, Immaculate, the Lord is with you”. Kecharitomene appears to be used within the context of Angel Gabriel’s greeting as her name, revealing her identity as the Immaculate one, and revealing an action of grace given in a complete and enduring way, implying that purity, holiness and sinlessness is intrinsic to her very being rather than something temporary. Since sin and grace oppose each other, could one who has been graced in a complete and enduring way bear even the slightest stain of sin?

It begs the question: when was her identity given to her by God, and when was the spiritual action completed? To explore possibilities, we can look at how God has worked with His prophets throughout Scripture, preparing them uniquely—sometimes even before they were in their mother’s womb.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”  

“For he will be great before the Lord, and he shall drink no wine nor strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.” 

God completely prepares the ones He calls to fulfill their mission. Throughout the Old Testament, we find prophecies and typological connections that foreshadow Mary’s role—the New Eve who will crush the serpent’s head (‘I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; (s)he/they shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his/her/their heel’). While this verse carries multiple meanings, my focus is on one at this time. As well, the Ark of the Covenant and other symbols—which I cannot fully expand on here—suggest that she was predestined to be the Mother of God (taking into consideration her freedom to surrender her will completely to God, where the first Eve did not).

If we believe that God never changes and He doesn’t, it follows that He would act in the same way with her, preparing her to be a worthy dwelling place for God Himself. Considering how profoundly God prepared His prophets, would it not be fitting that His preparation of the one entrusted with forming and shaping Jesus would be even greater—since Jesus, being perfectly obedient to her as a good Son, honors her to fulfill the commandment?

Catholic dogma holds that Mary was preserved from original sin from the first moment of her conception through the merits of Jesus. While this might seem difficult to grasp, it is entirely possible—especially considering that at the Last Supper, when Jesus referred to the bread as ‘His body that is given for us’ and the wine as ‘His blood that is poured out for us,’ He spoke of His sacrifice as if it were already accomplished in intention and grace. In doing so, He applied the merits of His sacrifice to a time before it had fully unfolded for us—extending this grace prior to His bodily presence in the moment of His sacrifice. To those who have faith, it is believable that His sacrifice and its merits are not bound by time. Fitting, since He is God eternal. This makes me pause, especially when I consider that He gave thanks to the Father for it, or that He could still pray afterwards: ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible to thee; remove this cup from me; yet not what I will, but what thou wilt’. He could still hope, and it remained possible to pass from Him, even though the mystery of His sacrifice was already completed and accepted by Him—unfolding for us yet still awaiting His physical entry into the moment of His sacrifice. So, it is okay to have hope, even when a poor outcome seems inevitable. Yet, there is a right way to hope—a hope rooted in trust, surrender to God’s will, and profound acceptance of whatever He permits. I could not sufficiently penetrate the infinite depth of this, being finite myself. However, in all things, it is always good to give thanks to God.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Throughout this process, I prayed to Jesus through Mary for insight, renewing my consecration with the words inspired from True Devotion to Mary: ‘I renounce myself completely, and I give myself entirely to you, Mom’. To explain briefly, to give oneself entirely to Mary, is to give oneself entirely to Jesus, since she belongs entirely to Him. There is a need to renounce our evil dispositions and corrupt nature, since our perception of our good intentions is colored by self-love. While we can always go directly to Jesus, going through Mary to Jesus is a reliable way, direct and sure, since Mary purifies your intentions, calls down the mercy of God on you and shapes you and your intentions to His liking.

In addition, I used Copilot as a thought partner and writing assistant to refine my ideas, improve readability, and explore deeper connections.

A song you could listen to!

We are Sons, Not Slaves

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing okay and you are remembering to pray your Rosary. This lent has been an enlightening season. While I look forward to its conclusion, I find myself reflecting on this time and wanting to cherish this meaningful period—to savor it fully before it passes. Yet, the future holds its own promise, and I look forward to embracing it with hope and excitement.

Today, I’d like to share a perspective on the phrase, “we are sons, not slaves”, or a variation of the phrase which I have heard from multiple people recently.

To begin, consider St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s book True Devotion to Mary, in which he describes three types of slavery: Natural Slavery, Enforced Slavery, and Voluntary Slavery. By the order of justice, all creation, including humans are by nature, slaves to Almighty God, as all things come into existence and continue to exist in Him. Even those who rebel against God remain His slaves and, in spite of themselves, give Him glory in a forced type of slavery. Those who follow God’s will by their own volition also remain His slaves, but through love, their slavery is elevated—they become slaves of love giving God more perfect glory.

With this in mind, consider the parable of the prodigal son, which might lead some to question viewing oneself as a slave, since once the prodigal son came back to his senses and in his repentance desired to return to his father as a slave, his father welcomed him instead as a son. It is understandable, and while I agree that there is truth to our heirship in the parable, I also recognise that it is not the complete truth. This relationship of father and son in the parable exemplifies, in human knowledge, the relationship between God and humans. Jesus uses this illustration to reveal God’s mercy, forgiveness, and grace, through which He makes us heirs. He reveals other things as well, but I will only focus on the relationship between a father and son, as this is the focus of this post. No human father-son relationship can truly capture that of a slave and master, as no human father has ultimate authority over the life and death of his son. Through this analogy, Jesus illuminates one facet of God’s nature: God as Father. However, this represents only one aspect.

In another passage, Jesus teaches those who already believed in Him, “If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” He explains that sin enslaves and causes one to lose their place in God’s house, but only the Son can free us from the bondage of sin. From this, we learn—as echoed by St. Louis Marie de Montfort—that discipleship requires two essential elements: belief in Christ and perseverance in keeping His commands. When we choose this path, we become His disciples by our own volition. We come to know Him—the Truth—love Him, know ourselves, and experience the freedom He gives. However, this freedom is a freedom to love God as slaves: “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love be servants/slaves of one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.“. To give ourselves entirely to one another in loving servitude.

In much older times, the terms “servant” or “handmaiden” did not carry the same connotations as they do today. Rather, it was understood to mean “slavery”. When encountering such words in the bible when used to describe our relationship with God, try to shift your perspective from your understanding of modern slavery to the understanding of what it means to be a slave of God; being that in Him we live and move and have our being. We are wholly dependent on Him for the very sustenance of our life. As such, we could not hide or run from God.

It is also explained in the bible that Jesus took the form of a slave, appearing as a human, humbling Himself, and subjecting himself to obedience of the entirety of the law—even to the point of death on a cross. In subjecting Himself as a submissive slave, He glorified God in the most perfect way. God, pleased with the offering of The Son placed all things in subjection under Him. Thus, Jesus Who is Lord of all by His Divine Nature became Lord of all by conquest to the glory of God the Father.

From this, we can understand that God the Son, Jesus, Who is Divine, condescended to take onto Himself, the nature of a human—a slave—thereby uniting both natures (Divine and Slave) within Himself. Such that by perfect obedience to God the Father, as the God-Man, He offered the most perfect sacrifice for us slaves so that we could be reconciled to the Father and have a share in His Divine Nature through our union with Him. It is our union with Him that enables us to be co-heirs with Him, as slaves and divine heirs. This is why Jesus said, “So, if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” The only possible way to be united with Him is to be aligned in His Will, keeping His commands. Rebellion, by its nature, cannot coexist with union. And elsewhere, disobedience is equated to unbelief: “And to whom did he swear that they should never enter His rest, but to those who were disobedient? So, we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief.“

The most perfect, easiest, and quickest way to be in union with Jesus is through the humble path He opened to us: Mary. The humble Mary, full of grace and without blemish through the merits of Christ, exemplifies the perfect slave of Christ. She became the most intimate and personal means for Christ to come to us, clothing himself in her flesh. In doing so, He retained His Divine Nature and Immensity while embracing humanity and allowing Himself to be comprehended by her in the most profound way. Through Mary, we find the most perfect and intimate path to union with Jesus and deeper knowledge of Him. Since Jesus chose to give himself completely to Mary in this way without reserve, and to make Himself known to us, we cannot err in imitating Him by embracing the same devotion He shares for His mother, since we would be imitating Christ; the focus of the Christian life.

We were made to know Him, to love Him, to serve Him, and to be happy with Him in the next. In portraying the faithful servitude of a slave, Jesus offers an example: no one who has a servant laboring all day in the field would invite the servant to sit at the table upon returning. Rather, the master will ask the servant to first prepare and serve his meal; only once the master is served and fed is the servant permitted to eat. Moreover, the master does not thank the servant for simply doing what was commanded. In the same way, we should not expect thanks for fulfilling our duty to serve God, especially as we are unworthy or imperfect.

If Christ Himself was rejected and condemned by the world, how can we, as Christians, expect a life free of suffering when serving Him, when He is our Lord and Master? Even then, God is generous and boundless in His love, and cannot be outdone in His generosity and love. Yet we, as slaves of love, are duty-bound to serve Him with humility, always recognizing that our service is ultimately for our own sanctification and eternal good. For He is able to make the stones cry out in worship and glorify Him.

St. Paul succinctly re-affirms the perspective when he stated, “You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”, addressing the Body of Christ. This highlights that all in the Body of Christ are slaves of Christ by conquest, with our end to glorify God. I would like to mention again that God does not need us. If He willed, He could raise up stones to be His heirs. Yet, He seeks a relationship with us. Why would He desire this, considering what we are? It is a mystery beyond comprehension—but it is love. True love. We are the work of His hands and He has loved us with an everlasting love. Elsewhere, St. Paul calls himself a slave of Christ.

There is therefore no shame in being a slave of God, as Jesus—being God—out of His profound humility, took on the form of a slave. Indeed, it is wholly admirable to be in loving servitude to God, for truly we have nothing to offer Him that He did not first give to us. Furthermore, in His perfect obedience to the entirety of the law, Jesus chose to subject Himself to Mary as a slave. Through this, He has shown us a path to embrace a devotion of loving servitude to Mary as a means of loving Him more perfectly, always with God as the ultimate goal and end of such devotion. Consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary. Visit this link for help: Consecration to Jesus through the hands of Mary

Just some food for thought to help you reflect and, God-willing, deepen your knowledge of God. In turn, may this also deepen your understanding of yourself—bringing you ever closer to true freedom.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used to refine this write up.

I love this rendition!

Marriage

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well and remembering to pray the rosary.

Recently, I’ve taken some time to learn more about the concept of marriage as understood by the Catholic Church, so as to guide me. I vaguely recall listening to a priest on a podcast, a while ago, where he addressed a question about attending a wedding that would not take place in a Catholic Church (if I remember correctly). His response was, “No, a catholic should not attend that wedding”. This discussion stood out to me, and I stored it away in my mind.

I also remember a debate from when I was much younger about whether Catholics who completed the Nigerian traditional marriage were considered already married. Someone argued that they should be, since the traditional marriage existed long before Christianity arrived. I can’t recall my exact viewpoint during that conversation—it might have been in favor of the “White” wedding (Catholic wedding), against it, or simply confused by the complexity of the topic. At the time, I hadn’t received sufficient catechesis to be fully educated on the matter.

More recently, about a year or two ago, I had an awkward conversation with someone who had completed a “traditional Nigerian marriage”. During the discussion, I explained that, according to the Church, the individual wasn’t truly married yet and encouraged them to avoid sin before the Catholic marriage was finalized. Looking back, I realize that I must have understood that a traditional marriage wasn’t considered valid at all. However, I wasn’t entirely clear on all the reasons why. I only knew it was not and that it was my responsibility to offer advice, regardless of whether it was accepted.

Recently, despite my initial reluctance, I’ve delved into Canon Law to gain clarity. In addition to studying the law, I’ve spent time watching numerous videos, reading Catholic materials, and engaging in conversations about this topic. Although I often feel unsure and exhausted, I’ve tried my best to understand. This journey has led me to much greater clarity than I ever had before—and ultimately, it has guided me toward conversion.

First of all, baptized Catholics are governed by Canon law. This might not be widely understood by many Catholics, and I’ll admit, it was something I personally struggled to make sense of. When I think of “government,” I often associate it with countries. The idea of being governed by Canon law felt strange at first. However, upon reflection, it makes sense: I am a citizen of Heaven and the government of Heaven has a physical/visible representative here on Earth—the Church. Any discomfort or unease I feel or have felt about this authority likely stems from my own struggles with submitting to authority, not from the authority itself being invalid.

Canon law provides a framework rooted in divine law and tradition, and disobedience to it is considered immoral or sinful. While I’m not the person to determine the severity of sin for anyone (frankly struggle even for myself), I encourage studying more about the nature of sin and the three key elements that distinguish venial sins from mortal ones: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent.

As such, with regards to marriage, the Church governs the marriages of Catholics. For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament that requires adherence to Canon law for both validity and sacramentality. Canon law lays out clear guidelines regarding the sacrament of marriage, and its validity depends on meeting specific requirements, i.e. a celebration of marriage according to canonical form, including:

  • Celebration of the marriage in the presence of an authorized Catholic cleric and at least two witnesses, typically in a Catholic church, unless a dispensation is granted.
  • Celebration of the marriage according to liturgical practices established by the Church.

If a Catholic marries outside of canonical form—such as through a civil ceremony or in a non-Catholic setting without proper permissions—the marriage is considered invalid unless a bishop grants a dispensation.

In addition, when a Catholic and a non-Catholic wish to marry, they must meet the requirements set out in canon law (including the permission of the local ordinary). Without this dispensation, the marriage is deemed invalid and cannot impart sacramental grace, even if one or both parties are baptized.

Baptism is essential for sacramentality, but it’s not the only requirement. Other necessary elements include the intention to remain faithful, openness to procreation, freedom/capacity to marry, free consent, and adherence to the proper form of marriage—including the presence of an authorized cleric and witnesses.

Additionally, Canon law requires a Catholic who was previously married to obtain an annulment of their prior marriage before entering into a new one, even if the previous marriage was civil and deemed invalid. This ensures the sacramental integrity of the new marriage.

Invalid marriages can be healed by the Catholic Church, as appropriate for each case in order to bring the marriage into conformity with Church teaching and allow it to be recognized as valid. It highlights the pastoral care of the Church and its desire to guide the faithful back into good standing with the Church and God, all while considering the unique needs of each case.

It’s important to note that these guidelines apply specifically to members of the Catholic Church and doesn’t extend to non-Catholics. If you’re interested, I recommend exploring Canon law further for more information.

From my brief investigation, I have learned that attending an invalid marriage can be considered immoral, depending on the circumstances. Some adopt a firm stance, refusing to attend any invalid marriages, while others take a more flexible approach, evaluating each situation on a case-by-case basis—for example, when a marriage takes place outside the Catholic Church without a bishop’s dispensation. When it comes to unions that could involve adultery, I’ve encountered advice urging extreme caution. One perspective suggested that the morality of attending such a marriage might only become clear at the final judgment—a thought that sent a literal chill through me. However, there is a clear and consistent teaching to take a firm and resolute stand against attending same-sex marriages.

When a marriage is invalid, any immoral actions within such a union are sinful. There is also the argument that the marriage itself is immoral because it involves a violation of Canon law. This raises questions for me, particularly about the stance of the Nigerian Catholic Church. I wonder why traditional marriages often take place before Catholic church marriages if they are recognized as immoral. Is there some sort of dispensation granted in these cases? This has been a source of confusion for me, as well as for others who see no issue with civil or traditional marriages occurring before the Catholic wedding as a result of this. It is entirely possible that such practices are sinful yet have become normalized to the extent that it is now seen as good, and that is a difficult reality for me to fully grasp.

All of this feels too complex for my simple mind. My intuition is to avoid these situations altogether—or at least consider those that have the potential to become licit, where there is a clear intention to complete a Catholic marriage afterward (with a set date and plans in place). However, I recognize that I might be influenced in allowing this small exception by my background and the advice from priests I’ve come across. Is it good? I have different thoughts, and I can’t say for certain. Scandal doesn’t just affect those directly involved; its repercussions can ripple through generations. This is where my mind lingers. When I consider that, I believe avoidance is often the wisest choice, as you can never truly know if your intended good might come at a hidden cost. Ultimately, my priority is to put God first.

I don’t know enough to speak in depth about customary marriages (nigerian traditional marriage) or how the Catholic Church in Nigeria provides pre-marital counselling regarding the navigation of traditional and Catholic marriage. Typically, the traditional marriage is completed first to satisfy the cultural practice of giving a child away, and all weddings (traditional, civil, church) are often planned together and usually take place within a short time (hours, day(s) or month(s)) of each other. From what I’ve read briefly, customary marriages are legally binding under Nigerian law. I’m also aware that some Catholics consider customary marriages to be valid. Unfortunately, Nigerian Catholics can easily fall into sin if they are misled, poorly taught, or influenced negatively by culture or scandal. This is why, when I was much younger, I was in a discussion with fellow Catholics about whether customary marriage alone is sufficient. Personally, I am starting to think the traditional marriage may not be necessary for me but we’ll see since culture is beautiful to have in one’s life but never at the expense of faith and morals.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to any Catholic that I wholeheartedly believe in the truths revealed by the Catholic Church in Canon law and the precepts of the Church, or that as a result, I decide to live my life through the lens of the truths revealed by the Catholic Church, to the best of my ability and I do not intend to reject any truths revealed by the Catholic church, all by the grace of God and the moulding hands of Mother Mary. I can understand a non-Catholic disagreeing with me. However, when the disagreement comes from a fellow Catholic, it fills me with a sense of relational dissonance, loneliness, exhaustion, uncertainty, and a deep longing for God.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used to refine this write up and also garner some information.

A lovely song to listen to!

Music in Me

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone. Remember to pray the rosary!

When I was a kid, I would sometimes hear an orchestra playing in my head. The music was so beautiful, and I wished I could play it out, but I didn’t know how to play any instrument other than the recorder, and I wasn’t very good at it. I told a friend on the school bus about it, and she didn’t call me weird. Later, I watched the movie “August Rush,” about a boy who could hear a symphony in his head, and I think I wondered if people might think I was lying if I shared my experience. I also found it interesting that a movie portrayed a kid experiencing this. As I grew older, I stopped hearing the music.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where I sang a song to Jesus, and I woke up with the tune still playing in my head. I recorded it and sang it a few times during the day, and I could hear in my head how the production would sound, even the symphony and blend of voices. It wasn’t until today in church that I realized I had heard music again. I could not help but wonder if perhaps a part of my innocence had been healed. Sometimes, healing comes so subtly that you don’t even realize it has happened until it has.

Recently, I’ve been learning that attraction can be manipulated by the evil one, even if it starts off as something good or somewhere good. I found it difficult to get someone out of my head. You might wonder why it’s a bad thing to think about someone you like. The thing is, I didn’t know this person well, only a general awareness of him and his actions in church, and he smiled at me. I could only see virtues which made him attractive to me, but I didn’t know him well enough to say I liked him; at best, I was curious.

Another reason I found it problematic was that I did not have custody of my mind. My thoughts never wandered to anywhere sinful and never beyond my encounters with him or fantasies of what could be, but still my body was weak and easily excitable. Even my perception of him was altered. He appeared more physically attractive to me. Like he had a glow and my eyes would catch him everywhere my head turned. I prayed to God several times to take it away and to help me have control of my mind. I also went to confession hoping for the grace I have always received to overcome any vice I bring forward to confession. It persisted even after confession. Then, I admitted to Mother Mary that there must be a part of me that wants this even if I did not like it. The bible says, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free and I wanted to be free, so I was careful about admitting my fault with that in mind. I left the church that day feeling exhausted.

During this time, I leaned into praying to the Holy Spirit for self control. I learned to see all men as my brothers and nothing more. This revelation slightly deadened the attraction, and I felt a freedom within me when I decided not to kiss a man until marriage. I believe this is the way it is supposed to be, although, others might argue differently. I have a hard time believing a couple could “always” exchange chaste and pure kisses. I realised as well that humans were made by God for truth and to recognise the truth. The reason we do not always do this is because of sin, and “the man” was blessed with a knowing of this truth at his creation. It is the only way he would have been able to name all animals in the garden of Eden and do it excellently without sinning. So, a man fully aligned with God’s will, will always be able to recognise the truth with God’s help. This isn’t to diminish women, but I wonder about where the saying “woman’s intuition” comes from, and about the manner it is used as though it is a special gift limited to women when “the man” was first blessed in this way by God. I want a man who is lead by God to know the truth because he is in alignment with God’s will, and I do not want love to be awakened in me until it pleases, so to speak. It is one of the reasons I did not trust my feelings. It went against my beliefs and desire.

Anyway, I still didn’t have full control of my mind until I asked God some questions since I could not figure it out. “Do I like him?” “Am I attracted to him?” “Should I be attracted to him?” or something similar. It felt like a fog lifted, and I regained custody of my mind. Later, I asked similar questions to God for good measure. “Do I like him? Am I attracted to him? Should I be attracted to him? If I should not be attracted to him, then please take it away”. However, since the first time I asked the questions to God, I have had control of my mind in that area. So, I was being unnecessary, surely out of a desire for it to be permanent.

I remember feeling weird and perhaps melancholic afterwards that day, and when seated in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe in church, because it felt like I had been on a high only to crash quickly. I was grateful to God for everything I had learnt but I was annoyed that my feelings had been manipulated so, I prayed against the evil one, as I felt so aware of his plans to destroy me. I was also concerned that my feelings were so easily manipulated and wondered if I was really okay. So, I prayed to Jesus about it for His healing. I am thankful to God for His grace. I believe I have been healed.

There were some “God coincidences” during that time, which are really no coincidences at all. I remember a thought came to me during that time, “Be open (Ephphatha)”, and I recalled the bible passage where Jesus healed the deaf and dumb man. I prayed for God’s help to be open to His will and to do His will. Then, I heard the bible passage about the healing of the deaf and dumb man read in church during daily mass. I considered the creation of Adam and Eve, and then it was one of the passages read during daily mass last week. Another was that I remember praying a rough form of “God’s will is my will” at some point during that time, and afterwards, stumbling across an Instagram post about a quote from St. Alphonsus Liguori, that one should accustom oneself to saying in times of trial, “It is the will of God; it is my will also”. Now, I often pray, “God’s will is my will,” and I feel my will bolstered.

I can’t say that I know everything about this series of event. In fact, I have a feeling there is still more to learn that I do not know yet. It is the reason that at first I hesitated to write this post. But, I suppose I will worry only about today and bask in the joy of knowing that I am able to hear the music again and that God is in my midst, a Warrior Who gives victory; Who will rejoice over me with gladness, Who will renew me in His love and Who will exult over me with loud singing as on a day of festival.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot might have been used to refine this write up. I honestly can’t remember at this time but in recent times, I have found it to be a handy tool for editing.

A lovely song you could listen to!

An Invitation to Love

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

January was a long and busy month, and I’m still working on getting back into my daily mass routine after returning from Houston and moving recently. I am thankful to God for another month in this new year. Since my last blog post, I’ve learned more about myself and discovered a missing piece. Before the year was over, I was called selfish in a situation where I believed my reasons were justified, but it was perceived differently. This made me wonder, if I couldn’t handle being called selfish by a human, how would I bear it if God called me selfish? It was a chilling thought. So, I resolved to accept insults from people, keeping that in mind, to prepare myself for that day.

I’ve also reflected on my last blog post, wondering if it came across as selfish. Since being called selfish, I’ve been questioning my actions, asking myself, “Is this selfish?” and “Am I being selfish?” I thought maybe my blogpost seemed selfish, but my heart and intent weren’t, as the post didn’t capture the full context or my complete feelings. I considered other details I hadn’t included, not intentionally, but because they didn’t come to mind while writing. Who is to judge the heart but God?

Those accusatory words and my blog post propelled me to delve deeper into lessons I previously only understood superficially. This principle might seem simple or straightforward to you, who are wise, and maybe I had heard it before, but it only truly registered when I watched a video about suffering last month. The video mentioned, “There is no love without sacrifice. How could a mother claim to love her child without sacrificing for that child,” or something similar. Then, I realized my inclination is to desire to love without pain, but the pain and sacrifice are proof of the genuineness of my love. Here is a link to the YouTube video: Heralds of the Gospel – What CATHOLICS are not told about FASTING

All through last year, God invited me in so many ways to love Him. So, the year I couldn’t say I enjoyed was actually filled with moments where I loved God, a lot of moments I previously saw as inconveniences. Although, this does not apply to every moment, it felt like last year was marred by struggles. Yet, even the lows, which I didn’t enjoy, were highs in disguise. My perspective was just skewed. So, I resolved to welcome this year, by God’s grace, with the joy of knowing that this moment, this time, God is inviting me to love Him. It’s an opportunity.

I had equated loving God with loving my neighbors, and in truth, to love God is to love your neighbors. What I hadn’t considered is that to love God means to love everything He has willed to come my way, knowing it’s for my benefit. In fact, knowing the weakness of my will, these seemingly inconvenient moments are necessary for the salvation of my soul, if I cooperate with His grace. Cooperating with His grace will look different each time and doesn’t necessarily mean doing nothing.

Since having these thoughts, I’ve joyfully embraced everything God has sent my way, doing my best by His grace and offering it all up to Him. When I reflect on January, much of it has been focused on this. I try not to get too upset when things go wrong because I have a goal in mind. I don’t always get it right and I’m not perfect, but that’s okay. With time, I will perfect this by God’s grace. It’s such a privilege to be invited to love God. How many people truly realize this?

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song you could listen to!

End-of-Year

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

How is everyone doing? I came close to not creating this post but my future self in less than 2 hours might be disappointed. So, here we go…

It has been a long year! My year started off on a high note with me passing the PMP exam, but I did not feel good on the first day of the year because all I did was worry.

A lot of this year was full of uncertainty, and I felt so unstable. It is not an easy feeling or place to be. I still feel unstable and uncertain about a lot of other things, and I feel the New Year will be a continuation of my endeavour towards what I feel stability should look like. I am thankful to God for a lot of things such as my job and for saving me in a lot of ways, especially in the ways I have no knowledge of, no matter how impatient I am or annoying. I am also thankful for His patience, His gentleness and His comforting presence which I could sense sometimes.

I don’t feel good on the last day of the year. This fact makes me uneasy when I think of the New Year.

It is not necessarily a bad thing to suffer in any way. The saints seemed to believe they were kissed by Jesus when they suffered. However, I cannot say I love suffering…maybe this is why I struggle. I don’t know how to reconcile their point of view with mine, but I am happy they exist because they love God in a more perfect way, and I admire them and all that they are and stand for.

I would like to pause in the New Year. I hope I am able to do that. I would also like my heart to be protected. I hope that happens.

I hate that I have been able to see all the flaws in others and I am not able to piece mine together to actually bring about significant change. I hate it so much that I wish I was oblivious. I think it might make life lighter. But then again, my insight has helped me navigate certain people, so perhaps it is not a total loss, and my wish is not for the best. I just don’t know how to make sense of it.

Oh well, I would like Next Year to be a good year for me. I hope that I will continue to see the goodness of God in the land of the living. I pray God accompanies me in all that I do next year, right down to me breathing in and out…right down to the functioning of my cells….right down to the stirrings of my soul. I hope that I am able to love God with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength. I need God’s help. I need God.

I think St. Padre Pio is going to be watching over me in the New Year. You might think it is a random statement, but I truly believe that it will be so, for my reasons and it makes me chuckle and also fret…only because I do not trust easy.

I hope everyone reading this has a blessed New Year, and I hope and pray that you find God when you search for Him in all the little ways that you do and might not even realise it.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song you could listen to!

“Love”

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

I have been going through some things which I shan’t go into details about, but I will say this, I have learnt that a stranger will give love more readily than someone you consider close. Better to run to that stranger, than someone you think is close. But a stranger is a stranger for a reason, and I think as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt…hmmm, or is it disrespect. Better yet, run to God Who never fails.

I flinched when someone told me “I love you.”. It is hard to hear those words when you have been beat up emotionally by the person saying them. The words became easier to digest over time, to understand and to love. I cannot take credit for this transformation. Only God can do this.

I also prayed and hoped to God for something I desired. I moved forward courageously, when I had not a lot of courage, and prayed fervently for His peace. I thought I heard Him say to go forward but things did not work out as I had hoped. I wondered if indeed I had heard Him. Maybe not but also maybe I did. I do know looking back at it from a close distance, I can see that I have learnt some things from the experience so far. I have a richer understanding of what it means when God forgives you. It is written that God forgets your sins when you repent, and He forgives you. It all made sense to me amid a chaotic moment that was unrelated in matter to God’s revelation to me, but congruent in weight or depth of expression. The potent revelation I received made me realize in a striking manner which my soul is wont not to forget, that I will not crucify myself for my mistakes and God does not want me to do so either. “As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our sins from us”. “I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”

Oh, I felt ecstatic and hopeful when things did not go my way, and instead of grief, I thought to myself that this is all for the Glory of God, for my salvation and the salvation of others. Later on, I felt grief, but it did not overtake me like it had in the past. It made me long for the Heavenly Jerusalem just like Abraham and the saints did. I told Him that perhaps I did hear from Him and I will take this event as discipline. God disciplines those He loves, so He must love me so much. God loves me so much, this I know.

Afterwards, I considered the love between a husband and a wife. I have been trying to have a God-like view of what that dynamic is supposed to look like. I remembered the portion of the bible where St. Peter exhorts wives to treat their husbands in the manner Sarah did, when she obeyed Abraham and called him ‘lord’. I was critical of the word “lord”. What did that mean? It sounded reverent but also, I couldn’t help but think about subjugation combined with inflexibility, judgementality, hypocrisy and inconsideration. I know of a traditional, catholic man who was this way. I also know of a middle class protestant Christian who was very considerate to his wife, he treated his wife like an egg. I know of a rich, liberal man who was conservative when it soothed him, so his wife suffered because he did not help whether by contract or by self, and he did not encourage the best for his wife. Finally, I know of a traditional African man from a largely patriarchal society, who did not want His wife to cook, hired help for her and of his own volition, made arrangements for her to get a higher education. That African man would have been made perfect if in other ways, had he practiced the Christian faith, and yet he was quite generous in nature in a lot of ways and God blessed him. It is an irony that the faithless are able to love in ways that the supposed faithful do not.

My mind also wondered if the vision of calling your husband “lord” could be akin to the victorian era where some men were called lords and some women were called ladies. To them, it might have been a surface synergy of Class meets Class on a level of some sort, but to Christians, should it not be a synergy of joint heirs to the grace of life; one heir of the Kingdom of God to another?

To my mind, I have only one Lord. My mind moved on to another bible verse when I considered how my Lord displayed His Lordship, and in turn taught through his actions and words, how the disciples ought to treat one another. It was on the day He washed their feet, a day before they would desert Him, and one would betray Him. Knowing this, He washed their feet. At another time He said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

A lord by this definition is one who is a slave and servant of his wife, and pours himself out completely, without counting the cost, to the point of death. I looked up at the picture of the cross at the moment this came to mind while praying…or perhaps I was looking at it already without registering it. I should have been meditating on the “Crucifixion of Christ” because I was praying the seven sorrows, but my mind had been restless. In any case, the love I am considering is a life-giving love. It is so powerful that I stumbled over my thoughts. A healed woman or a woman open to healing would desire or crave to submit to that man and defend that man wherever she went to. She would sing his praises everywhere and she would be able to trust him.

And so, I asked God, “What man can love like that?” I wondered if it was even possible but then again, I remembered St. Therese of the Child Jesus. I had never gone through any writing of anyone before her, I don’t think, who burned with a desire for martyrdom. No one except Jesus. Although, as I write this now, a few do come to mind. I heard the account of St. Ignatius recently, how he begged the early Christians not to save him from being torn apart by lions. St. Paul as well….oh, and another saint who did evangelical work, but I do not recall his name. All things are possible through God’s grace.

If I am to consider this idea further as I write this, “We love because Christ first loved us.”. The man loves first through dying to himself and calls out a submissive expression of love from the woman. That is not to say that love must always be received for it to be given. On the contrary, I believe there is infinitely more merit in loving when you are not loved. I think one would be better off with a lot of prayer, placing greater scrutiny on the type of dynamic or relationship one chooses to have great proximity to for the rest of their life, and face (focus on) God whether or not they are blessed with this, and if not given, to die with joy and go to God. So, I am in fact considering a healed dynamic or one open to being healed when I write about a submissive expression of love which a man call out of a woman through loving in dying to self. On the other hand, the woman submits even though the man fails, and the man loves sacrificially even when the woman fails. It is easier said than done. That is why one should pray to God if in that situation, that God should help one love. God is always ready and willing to help you love. I know this because He always helped me whenever I asked for help to love….to be patient.

I do not understand the saying that one can love without respecting, perhaps this is why I have difficulty. I subscribe to the bible’s view of love and it is not bound or limited to gender. “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. Looking at this, I cannot believe respect can be separated from love, so, I do not know how one could prefer to be respected over being loved. I wonder though, if the respect some men claim they want is the stroking of their ego, the fanning of their pride. This is what I have observed from a small sample size. But then again, I am not married and some might think me bitter because of it. Ultimately, what do I know except what I have observed, and what is the point I am trying to make by writing all of this?

I suppose the point of this is to share my thoughts, so that in doing so, someone out there does not feel alone in this vastness that is the universe; the point of my blog really, lest I forget.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song you can listen to!

Testimony

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By Cynthia Aralu

I waited patiently for the Lord;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the Lord

and put their trust in him.

Psalms 40:1-3

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

I have been meaning to share about God’s blessing to me and to give thanks to God in the presence of everyone like the Psalmist says: “Let them extol Him in the congregation of the people, and praise Him in the assembly of the elders”.

I held back at first because I couldn’t say anything at the time and then later on, I suppose I started to overthink everything. I got a new job within the same role at the same workplace and it gives me the opportunity to gain more project management experience while I make plans for my future. I give thanks to God for the opportunity that he has given me and it is my hope that I am able to be courageous and kind within this role, always keeping God at the forefront of all that I do. I pray for the grace to do good, for God’s guidance in all that I do, for God’s help to gain all the experience that I need. I must admit the role fills me with uncertainty about a few things but all I have to do is trust God and love as God desires. With God, I can do anything.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

God bless you!

A lovely song you could listen to!