Category Archives: Feelings

St. Paul

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Today’s post was written on a night in January. I am convinced I am loved by God no matter what because of St. Paul’s confidence. I believe it is similar to what Fr. Mike Schmitz has explained about our belief not being in isolation when we say the Nicene Creed. We believe in and with a community of believers and are strengthened together in the midst of all believers. My translation of what he’d said anyway. Funny enough, I wrote this post prior to listening to Fr. Mike Schmitz.

It was nighttime that day and I thought of St. Paul as I ate my peppery pasta. I tried to imagine how he must have felt. He’d sinned against God when he persecuted God’s people. I wondered for a moment if he ever went back in his head and heart and felt torture remembering this but as soon as that thought formed, I realized he felt loved because a summarized version of a bible verse which he wrote popped into my head right after.

“Nothing can separate us from the love of God.”

I knew with certainty that he felt loved and I felt loved as well by proxy.

Reading the bible verse now, I must admit he says it so much better. His conviction carries through and lifts my heart. So, I shall put it here for you to read, so that your heart will find rest from its torment.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:35-39 (NIV)

08 Jan 2023

“Catalogued thoughts”

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

St. Paul By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Listen on Podcast @Amara’s Musings
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  • For An Increase in Faith

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  • Discernment

    By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary! Discernment is a gift from God, and this gift will save you from being in horrible situations. How are we to know who to listen to? How are we to Read more

  • Ave Maria, Gratia Plena

    By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone. Remember to pray the Rosary! It’s been a long time since my last post. These days, I feel as though I’m moving between keeping my head above water, walking on solid ground and living in Read more

Community

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary

Today’s post is really about the importance of community. Sometimes, I do not really have the words the convey my thoughts and feelings. So, I rely on past words from myself and others to convey my heart.

———————————————-

The first mini write-up are the words from a priest’s sermon that has been stuck in my head since I heard it in 2017/2018.

A Priest’s Sermon

“If God is community, why go it alone?”

– Fr Uche of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church New Malden, London

———————————————-

In the second mini write-up, I realized my family and I always had community even if we may not have always seen them.

To Those Left Behind 

I attended a mid week prayer session on Clubhouse and one of the speakers while praying, said some words for the people who passed away. She went further to add a prayer:

“And for those left behind…” Her words came through my phone’s speaker. 

Maybe I have heard this line in prayers a million times before. However, at that mid week prayer session, it felt like the first time I had heard a prayer for the ones left behind. The words “Left behind” really registered in my mind because it described exactly how I felt after my father died. My anger had been great that I had been left behind. But even more important than my past anger which all dissipated a long time ago, I was surprised that we’d been prayed for by people who knew us and those who didn’t, and that we were constantly being included in the gathering of believers who said the same prayer. 

“Were we prayed for?” That was my thought as I’d heard her prayer. Just how much were we bolstered as a family by these prayers by no faces, even when we could have been defeated? I just think there is something powerful about that.

I am grateful to have had the support of all who said that prayer and I am humbled at the immensity of the community that is found within the Church. 

– Me (28 May 2022)

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The third is an indulgence in retrospection on the importance of having your own community, even more important when you are having a bad time.

Isolation 

People are peculiar when they say because they are going through it, they cannot make the required effort to keep relationships going. Basic contact to say Hi . I have been through it. And by it, I mean periods of mental incapacity. 

I think in all of it, through all of my internal cries for help, it was my isolation that killed me most.

– Me (08 Sep 2022)

———————————————-

To wrap up today’s post, I am reminded of the words of Albaner C. Eugene, when he spoke of surface relationships. He likened the relationship that God calls us to have with Him as one which is intimate and draws a parallel to the type of relationship he would prefer to have with his community. There is reciprocity in intimacy…true intimacy, that is, which asks of us to be vulnerable with each other. I am reminded as well of a conclusion I made about Jesus from reading the book of Mark; Jesus was okay being vulnerable regardless of being all knowing. I suppose I have been blessed with my family, that I can indeed be vulnerable with them. My mind draws back to a time when I was comfortable being vulnerable with friends until I found it difficult to trust. I suppose I would like to change that. I would like to build meaningful, deeper friendships.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Community By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Listen On My Podcast (Amara’s Musings)
A Song Suggestion: Red Rocks Worship – Things Of Heaven feat. Elyssa Smith (The Other Side)

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For An Increase in Faith

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone. Remember to pray the Rosary! I suppose I should say Happy New Year, or rather, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all. The future feels overwhelmingly long, so I’m choosing to follow Jesus’ words and focus on today, because each day has enough worries of its own.…

Discernment

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary! Discernment is a gift from God, and this gift will save you from being in horrible situations. How are we to know who to listen to? How are we to know what is good? We hear Jesus say in the Bible that, “The good man…

Ave Maria, Gratia Plena

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone. Remember to pray the Rosary! It’s been a long time since my last post. These days, I feel as though I’m moving between keeping my head above water, walking on solid ground and living in Heaven. I believe there is a saint who said one must walk on earth and…

Thoughts and Feelings

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi Everyone! It has been a long while since I posted on my blog and podcast. I got tired early on in the year and it was difficult to create any content for both platforms, although I never did stop writing. Thank you to everyone who were patient with me while I was away. A special shout-out to Eylem Parlak and Matthew Gibson, for liking old posts and reminding me to be here.

I have had this post in drafts since March 13 2022. I read it recently and I absolutely loved it. I hope you do too.

I had the idea to put together mini thoughts I’ve had for a post. I found two in my notes which I have included here. I also included an extra at the end which I wrote later on in April.

The Rick and Morty Epiphany 

I watched S2 ep7 of Rick and Morty and I finally realised why it matters to me that Dean died. Dean was a man I only ever interacted with when he posted his beautiful, dark poetry on IG and he sent me an IG message before he passed on. 

In the dramatic words of Rick: 

“What is life?

How can someone so talented die so young?

What is being young?

I’m not young. I’m old.

I’m — I’m gonna die. ”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The Afterlife Argument 

I received my daily bible verse notification and it said:

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” – 1 Peter 5:10

And I felt this way:

The promise, sometimes, feels so abstract. I think of “the now” all the time and only a little ahead, because there are a lot of the things I really can’t control, which looms in a future with multiple possibilities. I’m not “good” because of a promise. I do good for my peace of mind. So, it really does feel abstract to me; the idea of the afterlife. However, I learnt–or rather I saw a post from someone on Twitter and he mentioned something about data persistence and I believe the concept of data persistence lends argument that there must be an afterlife. At the end of the day, I’m too tired to overthink beyond these tiny details, and all I really want to do is to sleep, to laugh, to watch an amazing anime, to listen to mad music and to be loved unconditionally by the ones I choose to love. 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Extra: Mom’s Validating Words

In April, I was having a conversation with my mom and she just out of blue said in a matter of fact way that I am successful. She didn’t even pause when she made her point, because that was not actually the point of the message she was trying to drive across to me. I can’t remember what she was trying to tell me but it was just like a passing comment to get to whatever point she was trying to get to. I had to call her back to what she’d just said. I made her explain to me her reasoning behind calling me successful. She’d explained in such a good way that I’d believed her. It was just so true. I felt it deep in my soul that it was true.

I was the one who had previously just not seen myself as successful.

I’m always waiting for some other exciting, better, job opportunity to feel successful and I decided that I have to stop that. 

My mom has a way of validating me without even realizing she’s doing it. She probably feels it is as obvious as the air we breathe.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Thank you reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Thoughts and Feelings By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/59Sv2eVAOfKLw3d88Xjc1a?si=85e675a714ee4c00
Amara’s Musings
A Song Suggestion: Hunger by Florence + The Machine

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Through this Valley of Tears

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone. Here’s your reminder to pray the Rosary. I told my baby brother last week that it wasn’t until I suffered hardship—not that I hadn’t suffered before—that I could really feel and resonate with the “Hail Holy Queen” prayer. Especially the part that mentions “this valley of tears”. That line—“To thee…

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No Small Feat

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Here’s your reminder to pray the Rosary. Today, I am going to share my journey towards obtaining my driver’s license in Alberta. It has been filled with setbacks, imperfections, and difficult moments. Yet through it all, I’m thankful that God sustained me, never let me go, and faithfully brought me…

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Connections: Through Eyes of Faith

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well. It has been a while since my last post. It was not planned but I have to admit, it did feel good not to post anything. I had an idea (or maybe two) in between but I didn’t get around to starting it.…

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To Jesus Through Mary—A Personal Reflection

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary! I recently realized that I may not have been entirely clear about the sources of the information I’ve shared regarding devotion to Mary and the path to Jesus through her. I had thought I was, but upon reflection, I see that I could have been…

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Crush Vs Like Vs Love

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By Cynthia Aralu

It is entirely possible to get an ego stroke when you find out someone feels any of the above for you. Common sense would be to allow this person to share this information with you, if you’ve come across the information from a source other than out of their mouth and straight into your ears, before you let it get to your head. 

Besides, time changes things and who says a crush felt at some point would persist beyond the day it is brought to your awareness. Anyone wise would not place much stock on a crush. A crush is basically a cute way of saying infatuation. It isn’t based on knowing a person. Once one becomes aware of certain negative characteristics of the object of attraction, a crush dies. I guess someone who is immature might handle the knowledge of someone having a crush on them poorly.

A crush bears the potential of evolving into a “like”. A moment that for me would feel like, “Yes, I can say with my full chest that I like this person. I am proud to be associated with this human.” That “like” is still cautious, to be honest, because I have to reach a point where I can categorically say, there is nothing you can do that will stop me from loving you; a choice to love this person. It sounds like falling off a cliff and I think that’s what love is; only beautiful, when you’re falling off that cliff with someone. And therein, lies the bungee rope, that saves you from certain death; reciprocity and selflessness. It is such a huge gamble, with an incredibly enormous reward, only if you’re blessed by God. It tracks that people would want to experience this.

I have had someone tell me after 4 cerebral phone conversations that he thinks he might be falling in love with me. I was flattered at the idea of someone feeling so strongly for me after such a short period of getting to know how my mind actually ticks. However, we did have quite a lot of profound conversations every time we spoke, so, it is entirely possible that he got to know an idea of me on an extensive level, and this was enough to evoke such strong feelings. I was not in the right frame of mind to even go there with him and I don’t think I felt that spark. I loved his mind thoroughly though and the conversations were amazing. I think that is the reason our conversations were always great. We sort of thought that the other’s mind was awesome. I found him therapeutic and I learnt a lot about myself, which I put to good use, even after we stopped speaking, out of respect for his feelings. 

I took away from that experience that I am amazing and I should not settle. I did not make him feel uncomfortable about his feelings. Because feelings are just that; feelings. They cannot be helped. Feed them and they grow. Starve them and they die. Ultimately, feelings should be acknowledged, understood better and respected.

Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Crush Vs Like Vs Love By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Don’t Look Back – Kotomi & Ryan Elder

We are Sons, Not Slaves

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing okay and you are remembering to pray your Rosary. This lent has been an enlightening season. While I look forward to its conclusion, I find myself reflecting on this time and wanting to cherish this meaningful period—to savor it fully before it passes. Yet, the…

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Marriage

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well and remembering to pray the rosary. Recently, I’ve taken some time to learn more about the concept of marriage as understood by the Catholic Church, so as to guide me. I vaguely recall listening to a priest on a podcast, a while ago, where…

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Consecration to Jesus through the Hands of Mary

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! I hope you are all doing well and you remember to pray the rosary. For quite a while now, I’ve felt as though I have nothing meaningful to share—like I have no voice. Whenever I wanted to express something, it always seemed like the timing was off, or my words…

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Music in Me

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone. Remember to pray the rosary! When I was a kid, I would sometimes hear an orchestra playing in my head. The music was so beautiful, and I wished I could play it out, but I didn’t know how to play any instrument other than the recorder, and I wasn’t very…

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Bad Judgement

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By Cynthia Aralu

It is a weird situation. Where to start? 

I guess I never thought I’d ever be in this situation. I mostly keep to myself. I’d have to be comfortable to go to where you are, for me to ever do so. And if I’m told, “You’re always welcome to come.” That to me is an invitation. And if I start to speak to you and start to think, you just might be okay, I would consider if we could be friends. If I give my phone to you and say to you, “put in your number”, and you dial your phone from mine, right in front of me, without a prompt from me, and afterwards I ask, “so that means we’re friends, right?” and you agree, I would think we are friends. I would show you grace as a friend, if ever you fall short. I have too much self control to ever be deliberately sexual in speech, so, if I speak about wanting to see your garden, best believe I mean that as a friend wanting to spend time with another friend, and if I speak about a serious topic like cervical screening, there really is no sexual overtone, just an intellectual conversation I am trying to have. I would not take banter seriously. I would create space for you in my mind and in my heart. I’m kind of simple and straight forward like that.

I have been honest from the start, so, it is silly, I think, that I have been made to feel that I had imagined us being friends. Even the manner of revelation had been foul. I am glad I had the sense to find out and he’d been uninhibited when he’d spoken. But, I don’t take disrespect lightly and I never stay where I’m not welcome. I also don’t waste energy on people who are not family or friends. 

It made me sick to think that I was talked about by people I considered friends. And it did hurt. A silent battle waged in my mind as I tried to decide on whether to allow myself to feel my emotion or whether to stop myself from wasting my emotion on someone who does not hold importance in my life anymore. You see, I have come a long way to finally feel a myriad of emotions as they occur, unlike in the past when I felt too detached from an experience to know how I actually felt, such that I was fascinated and worried as a child that I had never felt the emotion of missing someone, but my sister was clearly able to.

I don’t know what it was and I cannot exactly wrap my head around it, but I read a tweet as I scrolled through twitter, which brought me to the conclusion that all of this, the event, the emotion and the individual, did not really matter and I stopped hurting.

I hope to forget this happened once again, as with all of life’s character building experiences, and to stay soft, to stay kind and to always prosper. 

Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Bad Judgement By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1AYwBCqKMgG8IVXmzSE6Ww?si=7b11914628b64385
Listen to Audio Recording @ Amara’s Musings
A song you can listen to!

An Invitation to Love

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary! January was a long and busy month, and I’m still working on getting back into my daily mass routine after returning from Houston and moving recently. I am thankful to God for another month in this new year. Since my last blog post, I’ve learned…

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End-of-Year

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A Happy Death

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“Love”

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary! I have been going through some things which I shan’t go into details about, but I will say this, I have learnt that a stranger will give love more readily than someone you consider close. Better to run to that stranger, than someone you think…

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Aquamarine

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By Cynthia Aralu

Here’s a sweet poem for your sweet hearts. May you stay soft. May you stay kind. Long, may you prosper.

Aquamarine

Aquamarine watches me with pride 

As I float past unblinking lights

Oh, Aquamarine

Burning deeply within my heart

My sweet repose

My Aquamarine 

Whole as you are true

The long stretch, 

The mile through,

Stay, walk me home,

Never let me go. 

Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Listen to the audio recording of today’s post on my Podcast, Amara’s Musings
Listen to a beautiful song!

Testimony

By Cynthia Aralu I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a…

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Dreams or Visions

By Cynthia Aralu About 4 or 5 days ago, I dreamt that I saw Jesus.  I would have known the exact day, if I’d written it down when I told myself to. He was so large and I was so small.  His face was neutral one minute, The next, He had a frown.  His eyes…

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Bleeding Heart

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary! Two days ago, I went to the mall with my mom and I saw a penguin and a sea lion for the first time. It was truly beautiful. I was amazed to see God’s creatures and thankful to God for giving me beauty to see, as I…

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Heartbroken

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I wondered if I should post this. I wrote it down in my notes to remind me of the goodness of God to me. I considered if it will ever go up here, prayed about it as I edited my notes, and left it alone. But on…

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Because I’m Alive

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By Cynthia Aralu

Inhale…

It has been a while since I have written with the intention to post, or should I say, anything that I categorise as worthwhile to post or something that doesn’t give people ammo to try to manipulate me.

It is inevitable to share a ton when I bare my soul to the e-notepad. However, in the past I mostly wrote in such a way as not to be understood per say, and yet, giving the reader free rein to feel and come to their own interpretation. I definitely found it interesting and lovely to find people engaging with my words.

I wrote something this night. It is so short that I wonder if it can be categorised as poetry. However, here it is. Enjoy!

Because I’m Alive

By Cynthia Aralu

I guess those things are things you can worry about;

Because I am alive.

Isn’t it silly that you worry when I am alive?

Because I’m Alive By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)


And that’s it. I told you it was short. Thank you for reading or listening.

If you would like to hear more poetry from me or hear more content from me, you can follow me on my blog, to get notified whenever I post a new content or you can follow me on my podcast. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account. Cheers!

Amara’s Musing (My Podcast)
A beautiful sound to listen to…

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Charism: Prayer?

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Catholic Teaching: Cooperation and Double Effect

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary! I said in a previous post that I could not find a catholic teaching that pointed specifically to my job situation but there are actually catholic teachings. I saw them in the publication and did not realize they were actual Catholic teachings. I also did not read…

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Hope

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary! I started off before I began to write this, to pray to God for His help with writing this post on Hope. I told Him that I don’t really know if I am the best to write about “Hope” and I do not know much what to…

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Holiness

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone. Pray the Rosary! Last year on June 08, I pondered deeply after watching an IG reel of a non-Catholic Christian where she had scornfully said Catholicism is a religion that believes in objects or something like that but Christians believe only in Jesus. It inspired me to write a lot…

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Lady Luck

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By Cynthia Aralu

I wrote this beautiful poem recently. I feel you all on here appreciate my poetry so I made a conscious note to write something. Work tends to rob me of my creative energy but I was happy to create this. It speaks of yearning and of love; A love that reassures. I feel we all need that.

I hope you enjoy this!

Lady Luck

She is a churning mix of the sun, the moon and the stars. 

She is my universe. 

She shines so brilliantly, 

Too painful to watch in the past,

Seemingly out of my reach. 

Steady, she says,

I am here, she reassures me. 

Like a shroud of heat,

She envelopes me.

I feel her fire. 

Warmth, 

That is what she is. 

For her, my heart burns.

All for my lady who is heavenly,

Grit just as much earth. 

Luck really is a lady. 

Lady Luck By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Listen on my podcast @ Amara’s Musings

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Pray the Rosary

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Baptism is Necessary

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Temptation

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. I hope you are doing well! I write this knowing that for the past week or so I have been plagued in my body, in an on and off manner, with temptation, and it all started with a dream, in which I saw a form at the…

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Expectations And Want Nots

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By Cynthia Aralu

If you may, if you don’t…

It feels like everyday I am learning. And although it is really beautiful to learn and to grow, I wish I know it all but I know that I know nothing at all.

I have grown up holding people to certain expectations and getting upset when they didn’t meet them. My mom was the first. And she just couldn’t meet any of them. Expectations I never voiced by the way. She was a widowed mother of 5, hustling and struggling to provide for the family the best way she knew how to, in a country such as Nigeria, and having grown up with certain values instilled into her, my expectations were a bit much. Do you think I would have hurt less if I had been a little bit more analytical of the situation? Maybe.

Expectations are so natural to have for people we care about and we believe our expectations are justified just because we would do for that person what we are expecting from them.

When you would do something for someone but they won’t do the same, it makes you feel unimportant to them. You see, your ego feels slighted and so you get hurt or upset but sometimes, it really is not personal. Granted, sometimes, people are just shit. But sometimes, that’s not the case. It honestly is what they really need because of their circumstance. This is a tough pill to swallow. That they would choose to put their needs over you. Once again, this causes a battle of the ego. It is the heart’s want to be valued just as much as it values. However, do you stop loving because you are not loved back? Or do you move as your heart flutters, for as long as it does? Besides, isn’t it a thing of self love for them to put themselves first? Should you not be proud of them?

I have a weird mind. 

I listened to a woman speak on expectations. She said that us humans expect so much of people, but in truth, we do not hold ourselves to the same standards. Take for instance getting a gym membership because you feel it is important to you that you exercise regularly but you only ever show up once. 

This gave me a greater perspective on expectations. You see, we do not love or like ourselves any less for not meeting our expectations of ourselves but get all worked up and pull back from people who don’t meet our expectations of them. Perhaps, when we get to a point where we are able to meet a considerable number of expectations we have set for ourselves, then we can be upset when someone doesn’t meet our expectations.

I’m not saying that people should not be held accountable when they do unkind things to you. I guess you’ve got to ask yourself if what they did came from a place of hate or an intention to hurt or manipulate. 

Even then, is it worth it to hold on to the baggage of their actions?

Once again, I am not advocating for holding on to toxic people because they will suck on your joy for sustenance until you are just as joyless as they are.

It is so hard not to have expectations. I am still on that journey. But the one thing I seem to be getting right is leaning in the direction that my heart would like to fall. I believe it’s the only way I would be happy.

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Expectations And Want Nots By Cynthia Aralu
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