Category Archives: Happiness

Discipline

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I would like to start off this post by recommending a YouTube video. The weirdest thing happened to me this week when I played it on my phone. The volume on my phone kept going down. Each time, I would turn it back up, the volume would automatically turn down low, close to being silent, until I intervened and turned it back up. I started praying to God to protect me, calling on the name of Jesus. I probably asked for the intercession of Mary (this is becoming a habit) and St. Catherine (I was watching a video about her, so it makes sense), and it desisted after a short while. All in all, I relied on God to do the fighting. I did not have to restart my phone or change any settings on it, so it was a very weird thing. This happened on Tuesday night in my bedroom. It is God’s grace that I felt no fear, instead, I was ready to fight through the only way I really know how to, through prayer. The video is titled “The Apostle of the Blood of Christ: St. Catherine of Siena”. Here is the link, go and watch: The Apostle of the Blood of Christ: St. Catherine of Siena

St. Catherine of Siena is my patron saint. When I chose the name Catherine for my confirmation name, I did not realize what I was doing. I just thought the name to be a pretty name. That was until recently, maybe last year, that I learnt about her, and I found myself relating to her experiences, one of which is her extreme fasts when she was just young. I have a weird relationship with food. When I was maybe 12 or 13, I started rigorous fasts from food, not for good religious purposes unfortunately, but to lose weight because I was called “fat”. I would go 24 hours without eating and I did not feel hunger, but would only come to know when I realised I had forgotten to eat. When I did eat, I ate ridiculously tiny portions, maybe once a day, coupled with a small snack (cheese balls). While it was a rather bad reason that caused me to engage in this, I cannot deny when I look back, that as a child I had so much discipline, a grace and a gift from God.

4 years ago, I came to the recognition through the study of the Bible, that nothing happens without God knowing or allowing it to happen and everything that happens is ultimately for the glory of His name, that is, for good. Isaiah 45 tells this bit very clearly. I learnt that it is pointless to be mad at God or to fight God and as much as we are important to Him, as much as we are loved by Him, we are nothing. I recognised that this is hard to accept but I believe acceptance of these things is key to managing anxiety.

I gained understanding of other facts as well, such as facts about gratitude, hope and love – gratitude to God while weighed down by troubles, hope that suffering is not forever, hope that God will show his glory in the situation, Love, God’s love, which shields our hearts even as we hurt, such that the pain is dull, and we know we are not alone. I had another pang of anxiety after I had learnt these things, and so I told myself these things and I felt my heart grow stronger and the anxiety leave me. You see, “My life is in God’s hands. Nothing happens to me without His consent. It is part of His plan, and He shall be glorified through my situation. I am not alone. Never alone. God walks with me. So, I should walk through life lightly.”

So, when in the video I spoke of earlier, Bishop Barron mentioned that St. Catherine received a Divine Word about her relationship to God, “You are she who is not and I am He Who is.”, I could understand it. Watching this video has helped me to remember the revelation I received from God years ago. It is easy to forget so I am thankful to remember.

I find it interesting how I have had in my life, strong bursts of faith, only to be faithless afterwards or moments of Divine inspiration without even realizing it, until I go back to read what I have written and I am amazed, but it all goes to show that even the burst of faith or Divine inspiration which I have experienced in my life, is all because of God’s grace at work in my life, and being here right now in my journey to know Him and to be like Him; all this could only be God’s doing.

The religious life requires discipline but even more so, the religious life requires God Who supplies us with the Grace we need to encounter Him, to be transformed by these encounters, in order to draw us even closer to Him with a discipline that is only possible through Him, with Him and in Him. I am hopeful when I think back to the child I was, that God will supply me once again with an even stronger discipline with which I will be able to dwell in His house forever to behold His beauty that surpasses all understanding.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A song you can listen to!

The Accused

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By Cynthia Aralu

Out of the depths I cry to Thee, O Lord!
Lord, hear my voice!
Let Thy ears be attentive
to the voice of my supplications!

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in His word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord!
For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
and with Him is plenteous redemption.

Psalm 130: 1, 5-7

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Have you ever been in a situation where a person who had given you some information which you shared to someone else, was now lying to that someone else about the content of the information they had given to you? Then, you were made to look like a liar and also incompetent, because the person who they were lying to has known them longer or better, and because of human nature, was more inclined to take their side. Have you ever been in the position to disprove this person with a screenshot and a well-formed argument?

This happened to me quite recently; actually the interval between Monday and Tuesday.

When the person who had been lied to looked at me and presented to me the information he had received from the lady, I mentioned that I was pretty sure that I had been told something different by the lady and he had given me a weird look, so, I had followed up with, “It is probably just a misunderstanding.” to which he nodded in agreement.

To be honest, I have been in a similar situation multiple times in the past before, when I lived in London. It is such a terrible position to be in. I recall the first time it happened. I was thrown under the bus by a coordinator for a mistake he made. I was at the virtual meeting, the first of that kind for me and He’d lied. I had frozen then and my heart raced uncontrollably. I did not know how to protect myself. I am glad that I did not do so at that meeting. It would have been a useless argument, and I would have been labelled “troublesome”. He was a coordinator, and I was only an assistant. When I left that meeting, my mind had run in all directions, and then settled on an idea to prove that there was no way I could have possibly known about the existence of the task, to even have been aware to perform it. I got indisputable proof that I had not been trained on the SOP and so, I could not have been aware of it, let alone, done it.

That was God’s saving grace. I emailed this proof to the second-in-charge of the unit and explained my side of things. My point was acknowledged and accommodated, but I always felt weird to work there after that, and around that coordinator. I didn’t have the option to leave. If I had been back in Nigeria, I would not have stayed. I became so guarded after that incident. A similar situation repeated itself but this time around, I spoke up for myself with email receipts, and the other person got angry. It felt so messy to me, and I was uncomfortable. To be fair, God vindicated me so swiftly from these situations and others, but it all felt turbulent to me, and it made me distrustful; this and other things in life.

So, when this similar situation repeated itself this Monday, I did not want to cause any friction, so I had automatically said, “It is probably just a misunderstanding.” It was her word against mine and I started to wonder if I had heard her wrong on the call that day. After work, as I walked to the bus stop, I felt tired and sad, and I told myself not to cry. For me, it went beyond the lie. She had been so rude to me on the call while I tried to stay professional and levelheaded. It felt as though this situation kept repeating itself in my life, but I also recognized, as I stood at the bus stop waiting for a bus, that the day before, I had knelt before the Blessed Sacrament, and told Jesus that I really want to know how He felt when He suffered during His passion. My mind knows that it must have been great suffering, but in truth, I feel I am lacking the empathy to fully grasp the depth of His suffering. I thought the best way to cure my lack would be to feel as He felt.

“Not a lot of people experience this.” I told myself, coming close to resenting it.

“It is a privilege to go through this.” I recognized, when I considered the rarity of my experiences, still feeling tired and sad.

A word from scripture stood at the forefront of my mind, “He was a man of sorrows, well-acquainted with grief.”

So, I wondered, “Did Jesus cry? Did He hurt every time he was accused or rejected or mistreated?”

My emotions were heavy so I offered them up to God.

When I got home, I pulled out my laptop. It occurred to me to check my laptop for a Teams conversation from a different day when the lady seemed to be suggesting the same thing I had surmised from her call that day. I found it, took a screenshot of it and saved it. Then, I started to formulate an argument in my mind that I was going to present the next day.

I woke up Tuesday morning and I prayed to God to vindicate me. On my way to work, I recognized that I wanted to do things my own way because I did not want to ask God what I should do, and I was trying to hide from this knowledge. But you really cannot hide from God. So, I asked God what I should do. I felt the heaviness lift off my chest. I decided to listen to an episode from Bible in a Year (BIY) because I wanted to hear from God. Psalm 130 was read in this episode. It spoke to me, and I knew what to do. I decided I was going to be still and wait on God. I laughed when I realized that I did not even want to fight for myself. Whatever fight I had been mustering was only a symptom of conditioning. Truth is, I want to be fought for by God Who loves me so much. I want to bask in the sweetness of His love, and I want to laugh and rejoice in the recognition that I am loved so.

My Spotify was on shuffle, so it suggested another episode from BIY a while later. This episode had Psalm 120, which thoroughly fit my situation; a prayer for deliverance from slanderers. I knew God’s hand was in it.

His vindication may not even come through this situation. It might be through something else that leads to her conversion. I am fine with it. I know that He is protecting and leading me. What can mere mortals do to me?

Later on, that day, I heard a bible passage differently for the first time. “Come to Me all you who are labor and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me. For I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will have rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”. In the past, I had focused on the part where Jesus said to cast my burdens on Him. Yesterday, I was able to focus more on the part where He said to learn from Him “to be gentle and lowly in heart”.

I can’t say I fully understand what it means to be “gentle and lowly in heart” but I do know that I crave peace more than anything and yet, I seem to want to fight first.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song! Have a listen!

Latest posts from Katmira’s blog

Good

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Moments ago, I opened my Spotify and I got a creepy looking pop up on my screen: “Song Psychic. What areas of your life do you need answers to: Love, career, etc.”. I don’t recall all of the options. I should have taken a screen shot but I cancelled it as fast as I could and said, “God forbid”, as I imagined someone else going along with this and then possibly being suggested music in the genre of their sadness. On the one hand, this new addition to Spotify could be completely harmless algorithm, on the other hand, too many sinister things go on in this world without people being aware and one must be vigilant. Who knows what goes on behind the build of that new attraction. I must admit, in the past, I would have clicked on this without thinking too much about it. It is not like I believed in the predictions. It only seemed fun to me in the past. The thing is you open yourself up to harmful spirits when you dabble in new age practices. Thank God if you leave unscathed physically but what of your soul’s health.

I was going to write about something else entirely different while I listened to music on Spotify, but I guess this is the thing to write about.

Many people do not realize the danger they expose themselves to when they dabble in New Age Practices. It is portrayed as something good in the media and there is often no physical repercussion so people cannot perceive the gravity behind their actions. Sometimes, it can even affect mental health and it is labelled as a psychological disorder. This is not to say all mental illness is spiritual. There are some that aren’t and there are some that are. I know this because I remember once feeling depressed and I did not want to move from where I sat, I could not, and I felt like I was suffocating in the heaviness in my soul. I made a small, quiet and unsure prayer to God, “Father help me”. The darkness dissipated and the heaviness left me as soon I uttered those words. This was a period I did not believe in God. I was desperate to be saved. Now, I know The Holy Spirit must have been helping me to pray. This experience made me believe God must be real. I even spoke to a colleague about it because I was dazed about the experience. She seemed upset that I was telling her about it. Around that time, I had been consuming so much Tarot Card readings on YouTube and I told her about it and that was okay. My awareness of the realness of God did not even snap me back to re-orient my life completely to God. It just made me consider just how real He is.

Another time, it was like a deep sadness, and I thought it good practice to remind myself of happy memories, to bring back my happiness. I could not remember even one happy memory. One thing that stood out to me though was Christ’s resurrection. It holds so much weight and power in meaning and being. I thought, “Christ is risen”, and I was restored. So, I said it continuously on my walk to work.

I have done a lot of foolish things in my life. I am just now starting to see sin as foolishness because it is not worth the cost when you do the math. There is the eternal consequence of course but I have never been the type to peer too deeply at the future. I just mean it is such an inconvenience to choose evil. My conscience condemns me. I know God sees me. And then I feel really bad about falling short. When I feel bad, I will apologise to God and then head to the confessional. I am thankful to God for the gift of confession but feeling horrible is not something I would want to walk into knowingly. I know the feeling is there for a good reason though. My anticipation of it serves as a deterrent when I consider what action to take. So, I end up thinking I might as well do good and have peace and joy in God.

I will not always want to do good. Sometimes, I will want evil, even knowing that it is not good for me, and the only reason that can bring me to choose the good will be because of God. I will do good through Christ Who strengthens me. If I were perfect, I would always want the good, but I know my imperfection and my limitation, in that, I can do no good apart from God.

Oh, I landed right into what I wanted to write about. “Doing Good because of God”. That is funny.

I was told recently that when I said, “I will do it because of God”, I say that to make myself feel good. Perhaps I do feel good when I say it, but it is also my reality when it is hard to choose good. I don’t believe it to be any less virtuous because I don’t believe I could do it if not because of God, even though I know it to be good, even though I feel good even after doing it. So, I cannot say I do good because of good’s sake or because I want it. I do it for love of God and I will do it well with God’s help. It does not mean it is a burden either. It brings me happiness when I do it, because it pleases God, and it is for my own good. What can I say, I am a complicated human being.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Have a listen! It sounds playful.

Latest posts from Katmira’s Blog

Bad Judgement

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By Cynthia Aralu

It is a weird situation. Where to start? 

I guess I never thought I’d ever be in this situation. I mostly keep to myself. I’d have to be comfortable to go to where you are, for me to ever do so. And if I’m told, “You’re always welcome to come.” That to me is an invitation. And if I start to speak to you and start to think, you just might be okay, I would consider if we could be friends. If I give my phone to you and say to you, “put in your number”, and you dial your phone from mine, right in front of me, without a prompt from me, and afterwards I ask, “so that means we’re friends, right?” and you agree, I would think we are friends. I would show you grace as a friend, if ever you fall short. I have too much self control to ever be deliberately sexual in speech, so, if I speak about wanting to see your garden, best believe I mean that as a friend wanting to spend time with another friend, and if I speak about a serious topic like cervical screening, there really is no sexual overtone, just an intellectual conversation I am trying to have. I would not take banter seriously. I would create space for you in my mind and in my heart. I’m kind of simple and straight forward like that.

I have been honest from the start, so, it is silly, I think, that I have been made to feel that I had imagined us being friends. Even the manner of revelation had been foul. I am glad I had the sense to find out and he’d been uninhibited when he’d spoken. But, I don’t take disrespect lightly and I never stay where I’m not welcome. I also don’t waste energy on people who are not family or friends. 

It made me sick to think that I was talked about by people I considered friends. And it did hurt. A silent battle waged in my mind as I tried to decide on whether to allow myself to feel my emotion or whether to stop myself from wasting my emotion on someone who does not hold importance in my life anymore. You see, I have come a long way to finally feel a myriad of emotions as they occur, unlike in the past when I felt too detached from an experience to know how I actually felt, such that I was fascinated and worried as a child that I had never felt the emotion of missing someone, but my sister was clearly able to.

I don’t know what it was and I cannot exactly wrap my head around it, but I read a tweet as I scrolled through twitter, which brought me to the conclusion that all of this, the event, the emotion and the individual, did not really matter and I stopped hurting.

I hope to forget this happened once again, as with all of life’s character building experiences, and to stay soft, to stay kind and to always prosper. 

Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Bad Judgement By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1AYwBCqKMgG8IVXmzSE6Ww?si=7b11914628b64385
Listen to Audio Recording @ Amara’s Musings
A song you can listen to!

Pray the Rosary

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone. Pray the Rosary. This week, within a short period of time, I started and completed the book “The Secret of the Rosary” written by St. Louis Marie de Montfort, thanks to the audiobook on Spotify. See link here: The Secret of the Rosary It is the most powerful book I have…

by Kat_mira

Baptism is Necessary

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! (Pray the Rosary) I watched a video recently of someone scoffing at the word “baptism” and saying they don’t do that at his church but they do something else, although it does involve water. I could not listen to the end of the video so I don’t know the full…

by Kat_mira

Temptation

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. I hope you are doing well! I write this knowing that for the past week or so I have been plagued in my body, in an on and off manner, with temptation, and it all started with a dream, in which I saw a form at the…

by Kat_mira

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Dear Me,

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone. Welcome to another episode on my blog, Katmira’s blog, or podcast, Amara’s Musings, depending on which platform you are listening in on or reading.

At the risk of stating the obvious, the Year 2021 ends in 2 days. I started the year with God and I am ending it ever aware of God’s presence and hand in my life. I feel loved by God and I know nothing comes close to touching that. I am aware that I am loved just because. It is a very strong knowledge and a beautiful place to be in. I hope to stay here forever. I am thankful I have God as my Father. I pray He watches over and guides our every move and decision in the New Year. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I decided to write a love letter to myself. Perhaps, you will be able to read or listen to my love letter, tell yourself you are beautiful and truly believe it. Thank you in advance for reading or listening to this post. Thank you for sticking with me throughout the year, when I was consistent and not so much that. Thank you for the compliments. I am thankful that my voice has brought peace to you. Thank you to all who promoted my blog and podcast. It means a lot to this girl who wants to reach as many hearts as possible but still stay hidden. And as always, I hope you enjoy this!

Dear Me,

Hi there! What a year you’ve had. You started the year not sure of what direction your career or future was going to go but you had trust in God and which ever way He meant for you to go and you persevered.

Thank you for being courageous this year. Actually, you have been pretty courageous these past four years being in a foreign country with no family around you. 

I guess instead, thank you for choosing courage every single time this year you could have let fear and doubt get the best of you. For the numerous times you have chosen love, thank you Me. For the times, you have risen above and allowed the Holy Spirit to lead you, Thank you. 

The bible says that we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s Love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who have been given to us (Romans 5:3-8). You are going to need that perseverance, courage, hope and trust in God and His Love once again in the New Year, love.

Look at you. You are no longer in crippling pain. Living is so much easier now. 

Look at you. You are no longer in darkness. You feel. You laugh and feel your laughter bubbling over in your chest. 

Thank you for choosing to grow. Thank you for reaching this level of self love, growth and self-confidence. I know you still have ways to go but you are always willing to do the work. 

Thank you for choosing to reach this level of knowing God and wanting to know more of Him. 

I can’t believe how far you have come. You can only go up from here with God’s help. 

Thank you for choosing love and being willing to trust in love again. Since God is love, it makes absolute sense that you would always come back to the core of who you’ve always been. 

Thank you for choosing peace. Thank you for choosing you. 

To the beautiful me,

Who is just beginning to grasp how beautifully made she truly is. 

Signed Me,

Who is in love with all that she is, everything, the up, down and the in-between.

You can subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Dear Me, By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Amara’s Musings
A Beautiful Song to Listen to! Have a Listen!
Another beautiful song to listen to. I could not decide on which song from for King and Country to share today, so, I thought why choose one when you can share 2 good things😄. Hey, have a listen!

The Mercy of God

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone. Pray the Rosary. I have had 3 sleep paralysis episodes since I spoke about my nightmares on one of my previous posts. I wonder if I can say the nightmares are back. Perhaps, I have seen the last of it. God knows. The first one, I panicked because I could…

by Kat_mira

Mercy: Blood and Water

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. During Lent, I came to the conclusion, I believe through God’s help, that I have a difficulty feeling empathy for the Passion and Suffering of Jesus, so I begged Jesus, in front of the blessed sacrament, to help me to feel His pain even if I have…

by Kat_mira

A Dream?

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. If you are the type to get scared when you read or watch stories about evil beings, you should probably skip this post, but I hope you tough it out. I am writing this post to shed some light on the fact that the evil one exists…

by Kat_mira

Discipline

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I would like to start off this post by recommending a YouTube video. The weirdest thing happened to me this week when I played it on my phone. The volume on my phone kept going down. Each time, I would turn it back up, the volume would…

by Kat_mira

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Just a Story

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By Cynthia Aralu

A Story, An Idea…

Hi everyone! I know it has been such a long time since I have actually come on here and posted something. But, I’m glad that I’m finally doing it, to be honest, because all weekend, I have actually been stalling to do this. I’m actually proud of myself because I wrote a couple of things that I can actually post on my blog and my podcast. This is titled “Just A Story” and my name is Cynthia Aralu.

Here it goes.

I think what we are seeing right now is people telling their stories but from a perspective different from what is considered the norm and other people thinking that they can learn from people’s trauma instead of living, experiencing and making their own path or finding what works for them. Isn’t that interesting?

I believe I had to stop to realise that people’s stories are their stories and may or may not work even for them, but this is what they are selling right now. Yet, a lot of people latch on to them like these stories are truth. 

I mean, how many ways have I changed in the past 2 years; it is insane and beautiful at the same time just how much I have. 

How many ways will these people change in the future? It seems unwise to latch on to their truth like it is gospel. 

I have my gospel, my truth, and that is found in the bible. The Truth is unchanging. That is what I latch on to. That is my reason for latching on at all. 

Thank you for reading or listening to my post; the telling of this story. If you liked it, follow me on my blog, KatMira’s Blog or like and comment on this post and you can also listen to me on my podcast, Amara’s Musings. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Until next time, Cheers!

Just A Story By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Amara’s Musings
Superficial Love By Ruth B. (Have a Listen!)

Latest Posts From Cynthia Aralu

Was the Man Jesus?

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Hope you are keeping well and are in good health. Another weekend is almost over and the time goes by so quickly. The events of this past Wednesday has me evaluating my thoughts towards people extending their hand to me for a handshake during the “exchange of…

by Kat_mira

Second Chances or a Millionth

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I noticed yesterday that the theme of this week in Church, starting from Sunday, has been about the “Holy Eucharist” and I believe it is not a coincidence that I have experienced the things I spoke of in my last post. It makes me feel that God…

by Kat_mira

Standards

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Recently, I got told that “I like to do ‘Holy Holy’”. This is a Nigerian way of saying I was overdoing the practice of holiness in this person’s eyes and that I loved to do so a lot. It was an ordinary thing I mentioned that I…

by Kat_mira

Why is Mary “Our Mother”?

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Last year, I was scrolling through IG and I came across a post about Mary. I believe on the post Mary was referred to as “Our Mother”. A comment popped up on my screen as it usually does when reels play. Someone asked, “Why is Mary Our…

by Kat_mira

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Lady Luck

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By Cynthia Aralu

I wrote this beautiful poem recently. I feel you all on here appreciate my poetry so I made a conscious note to write something. Work tends to rob me of my creative energy but I was happy to create this. It speaks of yearning and of love; A love that reassures. I feel we all need that.

I hope you enjoy this!

Lady Luck

She is a churning mix of the sun, the moon and the stars. 

She is my universe. 

She shines so brilliantly, 

Too painful to watch in the past,

Seemingly out of my reach. 

Steady, she says,

I am here, she reassures me. 

Like a shroud of heat,

She envelopes me.

I feel her fire. 

Warmth, 

That is what she is. 

For her, my heart burns.

All for my lady who is heavenly,

Grit just as much earth. 

Luck really is a lady. 

Lady Luck By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Listen on my podcast @ Amara’s Musings

Have A Listen!

More Posts From Cynthia Aralu

Why We Pray

By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. As a little girl, I did not like praying. My mom noticed this and would say so to me. I felt evil for not liking to pray and for other reasons I could not reconcile in my mind; not because of anything she said to me. My…

by Kat_mira

Seeing Without Perceiving

By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. These days, my Instagram feed is mostly about Bible verses or the things of Christ. Even though I cannot dispute it is a good thing to have my feed full of the things of God, I fear I have lost a lot of my initial motivation; the…

by Kat_mira

The Accused

By Cynthia Aralu Out of the depths I cry to Thee, O Lord!Lord, hear my voice!Let Thy ears be attentiveto the voice of my supplications! I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,and in His word I hope;my soul waits for the Lordmore than watchmen for the morning,more than watchmen for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord!For…

by Kat_mira

My Helper

By Cynthia Aralu I lift up my eyes to the hills.From whence does my help come?My help comes from the Lord,Who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved,    He who keeps you will not slumber.Behold, He who keeps Israel    will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is your keeper;    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.The…

by Kat_mira

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Expectations And Want Nots

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By Cynthia Aralu

If you may, if you don’t…

It feels like everyday I am learning. And although it is really beautiful to learn and to grow, I wish I know it all but I know that I know nothing at all.

I have grown up holding people to certain expectations and getting upset when they didn’t meet them. My mom was the first. And she just couldn’t meet any of them. Expectations I never voiced by the way. She was a widowed mother of 5, hustling and struggling to provide for the family the best way she knew how to, in a country such as Nigeria, and having grown up with certain values instilled into her, my expectations were a bit much. Do you think I would have hurt less if I had been a little bit more analytical of the situation? Maybe.

Expectations are so natural to have for people we care about and we believe our expectations are justified just because we would do for that person what we are expecting from them.

When you would do something for someone but they won’t do the same, it makes you feel unimportant to them. You see, your ego feels slighted and so you get hurt or upset but sometimes, it really is not personal. Granted, sometimes, people are just shit. But sometimes, that’s not the case. It honestly is what they really need because of their circumstance. This is a tough pill to swallow. That they would choose to put their needs over you. Once again, this causes a battle of the ego. It is the heart’s want to be valued just as much as it values. However, do you stop loving because you are not loved back? Or do you move as your heart flutters, for as long as it does? Besides, isn’t it a thing of self love for them to put themselves first? Should you not be proud of them?

I have a weird mind. 

I listened to a woman speak on expectations. She said that us humans expect so much of people, but in truth, we do not hold ourselves to the same standards. Take for instance getting a gym membership because you feel it is important to you that you exercise regularly but you only ever show up once. 

This gave me a greater perspective on expectations. You see, we do not love or like ourselves any less for not meeting our expectations of ourselves but get all worked up and pull back from people who don’t meet our expectations of them. Perhaps, when we get to a point where we are able to meet a considerable number of expectations we have set for ourselves, then we can be upset when someone doesn’t meet our expectations.

I’m not saying that people should not be held accountable when they do unkind things to you. I guess you’ve got to ask yourself if what they did came from a place of hate or an intention to hurt or manipulate. 

Even then, is it worth it to hold on to the baggage of their actions?

Once again, I am not advocating for holding on to toxic people because they will suck on your joy for sustenance until you are just as joyless as they are.

It is so hard not to have expectations. I am still on that journey. But the one thing I seem to be getting right is leaning in the direction that my heart would like to fall. I believe it’s the only way I would be happy.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Expectations And Want Nots By Cynthia Aralu
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No Coincidence

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