Good

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Moments ago, I opened my Spotify and I got a creepy looking pop up on my screen: “Song Psychic. What areas of your life do you need answers to: Love, career, etc.”. I don’t recall all of the options. I should have taken a screen shot but I cancelled it as fast as I could and said, “God forbid”, as I imagined someone else going along with this and then possibly being suggested music in the genre of their sadness. On the one hand, this new addition to Spotify could be completely harmless algorithm, on the other hand, too many sinister things go on in this world without people being aware and one must be vigilant. Who knows what goes on behind the build of that new attraction. I must admit, in the past, I would have clicked on this without thinking too much about it. It is not like I believed in the predictions. It only seemed fun to me in the past. The thing is you open yourself up to harmful spirits when you dabble in new age practices. Thank God if you leave unscathed physically but what of your soul’s health.

I was going to write about something else entirely different while I listened to music on Spotify, but I guess this is the thing to write about.

Many people do not realize the danger they expose themselves to when they dabble in New Age Practices. It is portrayed as something good in the media and there is often no physical repercussion so people cannot perceive the gravity behind their actions. Sometimes, it can even affect mental health and it is labelled as a psychological disorder. This is not to say all mental illness is spiritual. There are some that aren’t and there are some that are. I know this because I remember once feeling depressed and I did not want to move from where I sat, I could not, and I felt like I was suffocating in the heaviness in my soul. I made a small, quiet and unsure prayer to God, “Father help me”. The darkness dissipated and the heaviness left me as soon I uttered those words. This was a period I did not believe in God. I was desperate to be saved. Now, I know The Holy Spirit must have been helping me to pray. This experience made me believe God must be real. I even spoke to a colleague about it because I was dazed about the experience. She seemed upset that I was telling her about it. Around that time, I had been consuming so much Tarot Card readings on YouTube and I told her about it and that was okay. My awareness of the realness of God did not even snap me back to re-orient my life completely to God. It just made me consider just how real He is.

Another time, it was like a deep sadness, and I thought it good practice to remind myself of happy memories, to bring back my happiness. I could not remember even one happy memory. One thing that stood out to me though was Christ’s resurrection. It holds so much weight and power in meaning and being. I thought, “Christ is risen”, and I was restored. So, I said it continuously on my walk to work.

I have done a lot of foolish things in my life. I am just now starting to see sin as foolishness because it is not worth the cost when you do the math. There is the eternal consequence of course but I have never been the type to peer too deeply at the future. I just mean it is such an inconvenience to choose evil. My conscience condemns me. I know God sees me. And then I feel really bad about falling short. When I feel bad, I will apologise to God and then head to the confessional. I am thankful to God for the gift of confession but feeling horrible is not something I would want to walk into knowingly. I know the feeling is there for a good reason though. My anticipation of it serves as a deterrent when I consider what action to take. So, I end up thinking I might as well do good and have peace and joy in God.

I will not always want to do good. Sometimes, I will want evil, even knowing that it is not good for me, and the only reason that can bring me to choose the good will be because of God. I will do good through Christ Who strengthens me. If I were perfect, I would always want the good, but I know my imperfection and my limitation, in that, I can do no good apart from God.

Oh, I landed right into what I wanted to write about. “Doing Good because of God”. That is funny.

I was told recently that when I said, “I will do it because of God”, I say that to make myself feel good. Perhaps I do feel good when I say it, but it is also my reality when it is hard to choose good. I don’t believe it to be any less virtuous because I don’t believe I could do it if not because of God, even though I know it to be good, even though I feel good even after doing it. So, I cannot say I do good because of good’s sake or because I want it. I do it for love of God and I will do it well with God’s help. It does not mean it is a burden either. It brings me happiness when I do it, because it pleases God, and it is for my own good. What can I say, I am a complicated human being.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Have a listen! It sounds playful.

The Disregarded Other

By Cynthia Aralu

There was a twitter post from a woman saying that it would be great if a better device for a smear test is developed so that the cervical screening did not hurt. 

She took down this post because she got so much heat for it from Nigerian doctors, I think, because it was cervical cancer prevention week and there was a campaign ongoing in Lagos to get as many Nigerian women tested for free. But I thought her post was a great idea. Innovate. How is it ever bad to innovate?

I saw another Twitter post of a Doctor that was some sort of follow on quip from that post.

“Female practitioners and women who have actually screened agree too that it is not painful or harmful just inconvenient!”

A very obnoxious interpretation of the “minuscule data” he has gotten from a Q&A he started on Twitter. 

It irked me. What about the women who felt pain during the smear test? Were they lying about their experience and can something not be done to help their experience? A problem should always give birth to innovation but if the problem is pushed away or hushed, how in the world would people do something about it?

I explained to him that he was not being honest to the conversation if he dismisses the experience of the women who actually found it painful. I agree that the smear test is a necessary test and a lot of women find it uncomfortable but to some, it is very painful. Multiple truths can co-exist without excluding each other. I even presented a possible reason for this pain to him. The cervix might not be lying in the normal position.

His response irked me even further. I knew being unreasonable was his choice, so, I did not bother responding. However, as I lay in bed trying to sleep, thoughts played through my head of what my opinion on this is, so, I decided to write it down instead of just having a massive debate in my head. Man, I love writing but it has such bad timing sometimes, and it costs me sleep. But who needs sleep? Sleep is for the weak. But yeah, I’m going to pay for this when it’s time to get up for work.

Anyway, his response went like this:

“We’re not dismissing it. We try to allay the fears of other women by reassuring them based on the opinion and experience of most women who agree that it is uncomfortable, very uncomfortable sometimes, often painful too but only a few times unbearable except something is wrong.”

First of all, blatantly making a general statement, as he had done initially, that the test is not painful but only inconvenient, already dismisses the people who feel pain. I thought the duty of the doctor is to give the entire truth about a procedure and not one truth. If I hadn’t said something, it is doubtful he would have mentioned the other side? That to me is gaslighting. 

1 in 5 women have a tilted cervix. Why would something that common be seen as a problem, if it is unlikely to cause health issues. Of course, there are cases where pain during a smear test could indicate that there is something genuinely wrong. 

My first cervical screen was fall of 2020 and it hurt a lot. The lady chose a large speculum because it was “appropriate” for me. It is a pure mystery to me how she made that assessment, but the pain was unbearable. She just couldn’t get the speculum in the right position to allow her the movement to take a sample using the brush and she kept pushing. Then, she went for a speculum of a smaller size, highly doubtful it would be good enough to retrieve enough “cells” from my cervix for an analysis. It still hurt slightly and was mostly uncomfortable but it was better. She mentioned that my cervix is positioned differently and I felt so apologetic for troubling this lady with my “abnormal cervix” that I even apologised. She told me that I would have to come back for another screen if the lab thinks the cell sample she had gotten was insufficient. I was terrified at the prospect of going back. Thankfully, the result came back negative and I was informed my next screen would be in 3 years. I should mention that she did give me the option to quit the test but I’ve always been a trooper, so, I stayed. I have to mentally prepare myself for my next screen and I think I will have my earphones in at my next appointment. 

The loudest voices usually drown out the “other” and they are not always accurate. I just think, how many women have kept quiet about this pain because they were told there is something wrong with them, because of loud voices such as this one, and how has this stifled the innovation of a better speculum for the woman with an inverted cervix, who feels pain. 

To be fair, the doctor on Twitter sounds like a pushy Nigerian doctor, who is only concerned about the results and not the state of mind of the patient. Perhaps, this is a massive generalisation of Nigerian doctors. Perhaps, this case is only isolated to “Twitter Nigerian doctors”. Either way, it annoys me. 

I found a blogpost written by Dr. Streicher and she has a humorous and interesting take on this. 

Here is a snippet from her blogpost. 

“Finally, if you are not an easy fit, I would skip the martinis, but you’re probably better off seeing a gynecologist as opposed to a general doctor for your annual exam. Gynecologists are not only the most experienced at inserting speculums, but have multiple sizes that vary in length, width and how far they open.”

Click here to learn more about her take:

https://www.drstreicher.com/dr-streicher-blog/2015/8/speculums-are-not-one-size-fits-all

To give you a little background on her, Dr. Streicher is currently a Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Northwestern University’s medical school, The Feinberg School of Medicine. She is the founder and medical director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Menopause and the Northwestern Medicine Center for  Sexual Health . 

In all honesty, while her accomplishment is impressive, I trust her judgement without even meeting her, because she acknowledges that I exist and I am not the problem. 

Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

The Disregarded Other By Cynthia Aralu
Amara’s Musings (Podcast)
Steady Me – Hollyn (Listen to this!)

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