Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary

By Cynthia Aralu

Images from https://catholicconvert.com/meaning-of-sacred-and-immaculate-hearts/

Hi everyone! (Pray the Rosary)

This is imperfect and very rough, but I wrote down my reflections while praying the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and I thought I would refine it a bit and put it here just in case anyone needs help meditating on the seven sorrows (It appears that I will continue refining this post).

For a guide on how to pray the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary, visit this link: Seven Dolors of the Blessed Virgin Mary

1. The Prophecy of Simeon (Luke 2:34-35)

Mary heard from Simeon that her Child is destined to bring about the rise and fall of many, that He will be a sign which men will refuse to acknowledge, and also, so the thoughts of many hearts would be made manifest, a sword shall pierce her soul also.

I recognize a grief three-fold….no, six-fold. She must have felt grief/stricken to hear about the downfall of men (her heart must have sunk). As well, the thought that her child was to bring about the rise and fall of men; that must have been perplexing/troubling. Her heart must have sorrowed deeply to imagine that her baby would face such profound rejection. As she considered the state of man (the deep brokenness and sinful nature), which would be revealed through her grief, did she feel alone and sorrow when she encountered its depths in her pondering? She must have been moved in heart with perfect charity for the brokenness of the human race and yet bore within herself a deep sadness for God. Did she sorrow for her son, Who would suffer and whose heart would be pierced through along with hers?

Oh, it is actually a seven-fold sorrow: her soul/heart still gets pierced when people reject her Son, Jesus, and their nature is revealed. I read in The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Sienna, that this sorrow in heaven for God is without pain, I think. A powerful book that I recommend.

Apart from her grief or should I say “their grief”, Mary and Joseph were obedient to the law of God. They did not say, “oh, we have the messiah now, let us drop all customs and traditions passed down from the time of Moses, it does not apply to us.”. They were humble and had the fear of God, even being the Mother of God and the Foster Father of the King of the universe. There was a wait for Jesus to establish His Church and His new covenant, and the traditions and customs have been passed down and upheld by the Catholic Church from that time onwards.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

Most Sorrowful and Immaculate heart of Mary, pray for us.

2. The Flight into Egypt (Matthew 2:13-21)

Joseph received a message from an Angel in a dream that he should take Mary and Jesus and depart for Egypt until he is told it is safe to return, for Herod wanted to kill his Child, Jesus. 

I recognize the deep trust Joseph had in believing the words of an Angel, although it came to him in a dream, and for leaving with his family that night without questioning it. I see a submission to Joseph on the part of Mary in going along with it without arguing. It must also have been hard on Mary, to uproot her life and make a journey to Egypt on such short notice, in the middle of the night, no less, on treacherous and hard roads. Yet, she got up, ever eager and ready to do the will of God and to be submissive to her husband, Joseph. They were very detached from material possessions and their community, not restricting or limiting in any way their love their people. They were in the world but not of the world. I imagine they packed little for this journey. I also imagine their anxiety must have shot up too, to think their precious baby Jesus in danger, and wanted to protect Him fiercely. They trusted God and submitted their lives to God’s hands to set out on this journey. 

Mother, please help me to be detached from material possessions and worldly status for it is the world I have always known and longed for, you who knows how to be content with all that God gives you and ask for nothing more.

Mary must have felt deep worry at the thought of her baby in danger. Did she give Jesus a kiss on the cheek out of love and out of comfort, as she held Him in her arms, and her worry rose up? She must have worried all throughout the journey and even while they lived in Egypt until Herod passed away. Imagine how grieved she felt when she heard news after they had left that Herod had killed the babies in Israel who were 2 years and under. And her grief was for the babies, for Herod, for Israel, for herself, for her family, and for God. Is there something else I am missing?

3. The Loss of Jesus for Three Days (Luke 2:41-50)

“Now His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover. And when He was twelve years old, they went up according to custom; and when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, but supposing Him to be in the company they went a day’s journey, and they sought Him among their kinsfolk and acquaintances; and when they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking Him”

The Holy Family were very communal. They trusted their kinfolk enough to leave Jesus in their company for a day without worrying about Him. “It takes a village”, comes to mind. I imagine it was a loving extended family and burden was shared between one another.

Mary and Joseph must have felt disbelief at first that he was missing before disbelief gave way to tremendous worry. They must have been unable to sleep when they thought Jesus had been missing for a day and they were only just finding out after 1 day. Maybe Mary cried too. I only say this because I cry when I am distraught but maybe she is different. Joseph must have tried to be strong for his family. Their worry must have mingled with their sorrow at the thought that something terrible had happened to their son, a son they had protected at the time of His infancy by taking a hard journey into Egypt, only to have lost Him now that He was 12 years old. Also, considering that His life had once been in danger from Herod, they may have supposed the worst had happened. One feels doubly sorrowful when a negative human experience which brings about fear and grief repeats itself. I believe this was the case for them and their grief must have been one of a compounded nature when they considered Him missing or hurt somewhere or worse. They must have felt they failed at taking care of Him. Mary must have worried about how or what He would eat or drink, as a mother would. They must have looked everywhere and asked everyone, trying to describe him to anyone they stopped. “He’s about this tall…he was wearing this outfit…”

Then they found Him, after 3 days, in the temple listening to the teachers and questioning them. When questioned by Mary and Joseph about his actions, He reminded them of the reality of Who He is and His mission.

“And when they saw Him they were astonished; and His mother said to him, “Son, why have You treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for You anxiously.” And He said to them, “How is it that you sought Me? Did you not know that I must be in My Father’s house?” And they did not understand the saying which He spoke to them. And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and His mother kept all these things in her heart.”

I wonder what Mary thought about. Did she keep it in her heart to never forget what was to come? Did she keep it in her heart because she delighted in the works of God? Was it both?

We often can get carried away with mundane things and forget what our mission is, that is, to do the good works which God has prepared beforehand; to walk in it, and we need a jolt sometimes to remember. Could this have been something similar? In any case, their joy must have been great to have found him. Jesus can always be found in His Father’s house. If you seek God, you will find Him.

Jesus was obedient to the law out of love for God even though He is above the law. Love is obedience. Love is humility. Love is meek.

4. The Carrying of the Cross (John 19:17)

“So they took Jesus, and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called the place of a skull, which is called in Hebrew Gol′gotha.”

Consider the great pain Jesus felt from the thorns piercing/digging into His head after the wounds He had received from His scourging, so that thinking and moving must have been terribly difficult. I can consider this to a mild degree when I remember how it hurt so badly when I had a sore throat from Covid, that I could not even think properly enough to close my mouth, such that saliva fell to the ground. How much more the magnitude of Jesus’ pain?

The brutality of His executioners was so peak that they had subjected Him to a scourging with all sorts of sinister weapons, and a crowning with sharp thorns, reviling and beating, before throwing on His shoulders a heavy wooden cross to carry, the instrument of His execution, to the place of His execution. Think what the torture this did to his mind and body to go through all this mental, physical and emotional suffering. At any point, He could have thrown the cross away or lost his temper and destroyed all of humanity, but instead with perfect love and patience, even in His state, His feet and His heart moved forward to the place of a skull. Ordinarily, a human should not have been able to hold it together or even take a step, considering the extreme pain, but for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit Who propelled Him.

I read that the greatest wound that Jesus bore that is not spoken about much is the wound on His shoulder from the cross digging into His skin. Under the weight of the cross, His pain and struggle caused Him to trip and lose his footing 3 times and each time, the cross slammed onto His back, as His face hit the ground. The thorns dug even further into His head. His writhing body in pain was a source of anger and disgust to His executioners, who hit Him further with whips and their feet, in a bid to get Him to His feet. Their eyes looked but without seeing The Man. Their hearts cold, cruel and unmoved at the sight of His suffering. He did not lose His temper but rose up, carrying His cross, with strength, perfect love and patience that is impossible without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and His eyes locked with His mother’s.

Did he feel alone until that moment? “Mom” I think He could have echoed in His mind.

Could there have been comfort in sorrow, when the eyes of Mary and Jesus met, on the way to Calvary, despite the deep sorrow that pierced Mary’s heart and the pain that ravaged her body and soul? Did the noise of the crowd drown out as she tried to be strong for Him. She had known this moment was to come and now here, she beholds Him with a tenderness, sorrow and strength. How she wished to take His place as she took in His bruised and blood soaked face and body; His pain registered in His eyes and face as He gazed at her, which broke her heart even further. And she would have rushed over to Him too, if she had not been prevented. Her heart remembered the words of Simeon and she was full of consternation to see the affliction that had come to her Son.

The prophecy of Simeon, the danger when He was an infant and His loss when He was 12 years were all but preparatory for this moment, to a heart tinged with sorrow throughout the raising of her Son, and yet nothing could really prepare Her to see it come to be. And how the pain ripped through her heart in her grief. His grief must have doubled when He took in her sorrow for Him. Both ever committed to submitting to the Will of the Father, brimming with ardent love for God and perfect charity for all mankind, knowing that it had to be. 

Our comfort in sorrow, pray for us. 

Then, there was Simon of Cyrene, an unwilling participant, who was commanded by the soldiers to help Jesus carry His Cross, because they feared that He would die before He reached the place of His execution, and they did not want that. They wanted to inflict more pain.

This unwilling participant was converted in his encounter with Jesus Christ and became a saint through the mercy and love of God.

The call of all christians is to help to carry the cross of Christ, His suffering in His Body, so that we, through the love and mercy of God, become like God.

5. The Crucifixion of Jesus (John 19:18-30)

I like the note from St. JoseMaria Escriva that Mary comforted Jesus with her presence. For it is through the strength of the presence of the one who loves perfectly that we are perfectly comforted.

“There they crucified Him, and with Him two others, one on either side, and Jesus between them.”

My Lord Jesus was very on mission to the very end, wanting to fulfil every prophecy out of Perfect Love for God and for us, even though He could have chosen to conserve His energy. “My God My God, why have You forsaken Me” “I thirst” etc. How I long to have such love and how I fall short every time. “O Lord Jesus, please help me to be loud about my love for people even if I do not hate them or respect their choices. Please break me out of my silence and reservedness around them so that I may radiate Your Love so clearly to them, not just internally.”

The prophecy of Simeon continues to play out, as the depth of the brokenness of mankind is naked to the eyes of some onlookers and to us, “He saved others; He cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let Him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in Him.” “He trusts in God; let God deliver Him now, if he desires Him; for He said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” And the robbers who were crucified with Him also reviled Him in the same way.

In the midst of this, we see Jesus turn towards The Father to intercede for us, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” and as well, His redemptive work through His sacrifice was in action. We see this clearly when the thief repents of his mocking, and turns to Jesus saying, “Remember me when You go into Your Kingdom”. The rise and the fall, just as Simeon had prophesied and in perfect order, Mary’s heart was lanced through, as she comforted her Son with the strength of her silent presence, thoroughly united to His pain and His suffering, in perfect charity. Did Mary pray for all sinners at the foot of the cross and offer up Christ’s passion to God?

How blessed we are, that even on the cross, our Saviour thought of us in giving us Mary, our comfort in sorrows, to be our Mother. “Behold your mother”

“Thank You, Jesus for giving me Mary to be my mother.”

How she comforts us her children, even in her silence, united with us in perfect charity, when we grieve. “Please comfort me mom because you love me.”

6. Jesus Taken Down from the Cross (John 19:39-40)

“But when they came to Jesus and saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs. But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and at once there came out Blood and Water.”

To confirm that Jesus is dead, the centurion pierces Jesus’ side and Blood and Water gushes out upon him and on the whole world. In that moment, the Centurion was saved when he uttered, “Truly this was the Son of God!”

“Truly, Lord Jesus, You are the Son of God!”

He was saved by the Most Precious Blood and Water which gushed out of the side of Jesus. “I saw Water flowing from the right side of the Temple. Alleluia. It brought God’s life and salvation, and the people sing with songs of Praise…Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia. I saw Water flowing from the right side of the Son of God, Alleluia…”

O Blood and Water which gushed out from the heart of Jesus as a fountain of mercy for us, I trust in You! x3

Consider Mary seeing this, her heart transfixed and sorrowing as she watched His skin pierced. Her heart suffering further to see His body injured even after death, she gulped in a deep breath, and her body trembled as she looked on.

His brutal suffering and death had not been enough for mankind and as though He had not given enough, they had to take more. She, with perfect charity, said “Yes” to it knowing that God so willed it to be.

How many times have I asked for more when I have been given so much love and fail to return such love to my neighbours. 

Also, consider Jesus Who allowed for His skin to be pierced even after suffering such a tortured death.

“This is just how deep My love is for you, that even after my body had been bruised and beaten, nailed and bleeding, reviled and exposed, writhing and heart broken, hanging dead on a cross, I would allow my heart to be broken open for you and I would pour myself out upon you so that you will be healed by My love, if you would trust it. Yet still, I would do even more.”

Jesus I trust in You! x3

“After this Joseph of Arimathe′a, who was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly, for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus, and Pilate gave him leave. So he came and took away His body.”

Think what courage it took Joseph to ask for the body of Jesus. Yet, the love of God ought to propel us forward to complete inestimable feats. How I long to love God with a love so perfect and yet how I fall short so many times. “Lord Jesus please give me the fervour of the saints who went forward regardless of the consequence to bring You to people, so that their ignorance may be broken and their souls may be liberated from the captivity of the evil one, and they may be well and do good as it pleases You.”

Here His mother, Mary, takes His lifeless body in her arms. Her grief surges upwards, as she considers His lifeless body which had been strong and full of life a day before. Her son whom she had carried for nine months in the womb, nursed at her bosom, protected from the beasts of humanity who sought His life, when only an baby/infant. She had watched Him laugh, play and grow up strong and full of life, and now she hugs His lifeless body to hers in silent sorrow. I cannot imagine the grief of a mother losing her child; I, who has so much attachment to trivial things that I pause and wince before cutting them off, talk less of losing a whole human who has been loved with a love so perfect. I am reminded of my imperfect love. However, I have seen from the eyes and voice of my mother that it is an unimaginable grief. I can say though that I have known grief that I almost lost my mind, when I thought my sister was dead. Was her grief similar but tempered and perfect?

“Lord Jesus please help me to love You more than created things.” “Mother, please unite my heart to your grief and the suffering of your Son, so that my heart will be able to see Him and You in your glorified states”.

7. Jesus Laid in the Tomb (John 19:39-42)

“Nicode′mus also, who had at first come to Him by night, came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about a hundred pounds’ weight…Now in the place where He was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb where no one had ever been laid.”

The body of Jesus was wrapped in a linen shroud and spices, and Mary helped out too, taking great care. My Lord Jesus relied on the generosity of Joseph of Arimathe′a, for His resting place. We all have our part to play in God’s redemptive work and he did his.

They laid Jesus in a tomb which had never been used before; His burial place in a garden given out of love. Mary must have taken one final glance back at Him before departing. Her heart was buried with her son’s in that garden, and being that her heart is one that loves perfectly, she must have considered, much like the faith of Abraham, that surely God is able to raise Him up. Her silent hope rested on Jesus’ words, that He lays His life down to take it up again. “Lord Jesus, help me to rest my hope solely on Your words, like Your mom.”

Our first parents died to life in the garden of Eden through the sin of disobedience and so were separated along with their children from God. The New Adam and the New Eve died to sin in another garden through obedience and have united us to God. So, if we have died with Christ through Baptism, we will also be raised to newness of life in Christ, just as Christ was raised from the dead by and to the glory of the Father.

“O Lord Jesus, please keep me away from the disobedience which leads to separation from You.”

“Mother Mary, if it pleases God, please take my will, my body, my soul, my heart, my intellect, my memory, my imagination, my dreams, my mind, and all of me, and give me only all that is yours, so that I may always be pleasing to God.”

The stone was rolled over the entrance to the tomb and they departed, and Mary was separated from her son.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary, and let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song you could listen to (Sounds better on Spotify BTW)

A Dream?

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

If you are the type to get scared when you read or watch stories about evil beings, you should probably skip this post, but I hope you tough it out. I am writing this post to shed some light on the fact that the evil one exists but Jesus has already overcome the devil. “The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome It.”

This was the way I dreamed on 06 Jan 2023 after reading about Jesus in the book of Matthew. I had read about the authority He’d given to His Apostles and his instructions. 

In the dream, I was fumbling with something in my hand (I am thinking a weighing device) when “they” came and took me and I think there was someone else taken captive. The other person had surrendered so, I too surrendered. I think I lost consciousness. Later when I regained consciousness, still dreaming, I was lying on my side. There was a person behind me that was speaking strongly against “six brothers of Israel or God”. I am unsure if they were of God or Israel but I believe this is one and the same. These six brothers were being bitterly accused of speaking about God or doing God’s work. When it noticed I was conscious, it’s voice turned gnarly, distorted and evil and unfriendly as it spoke the same words angrily as though its accusation held any basis. I sensed that it sought to harm me. 

I was not afraid. Instead, I was filled with an anger for the thing that would stand against God’s work. So, I commanded it to be destroyed. But, I felt at that moment, my body became paralyzed, as though I was having sleep paralysis, except it was different in character since (1) I was on my side instead of lying on my back, (2) I heard it speak where in the past I saw nothing and heard nothing even though my eyes may have been open, and (3) I had felt free in this dream, enough to look, until I was not. I felt like all those times in the past (when I was a child), that I had attempted to vanquish the evil presence during a sleep paralysis episode, and how I had failed. I tried to open my eyes but at this point, it was hard to keep it open. When it opened partially in my struggle, I saw a dark formless shape hover overhead in front of me, just in front of a dark patch that was lined with light on all or some corners (I can’t fully remember if the light was on all corners).

I felt myself losing against this thing and so, I said to God, “Father, I am Your daughter. Please give me the power to vanquish this evil” or something like that.

Then to the thing, I said, “Be gone and be no more or never return” or something like that. And immediately, I was released from paralysis and I could open my eyes fully. The strange thing is, I opened my eyes, awake now, to my window which looked like a patch in the darkness of my room, kind of like what I had seen in my dream, and light streamed in through its bottom where I had left it slightly open. I was also lying on my side. 

At the time, I was not sure if what I had witnessed held any atom of truth or reality, since I had dreamed it, but I was very disturbed for the preachers/brothers, so I started praying for 6 preachers/brothers doing God’s work. On 07Jan 2023, I went on my Twitter and solicited for prayers for God’s workers, saying how the devil hates them and accuses them for doing God’s work. My daily prayer for them evolved from six brothers/preachers/workers to all Priests, Clergy, Religious, The Pope, Pastors, Preachers, Workers in God’s Church. Then, it expanded to include all the Laity. One thing I could not help but note from the dream was how I got authority and power from God as His daughter because I asked Him and only then was I able to vanquish the evil near me. 

Last week after that weird occurrence on my phone, I began watching Michael Knowles’ interviews of a former witch, a former pyschic and then an exorcist, Fr. Dan Reehil. Michael Knowles spoke of hearing a gnarly voice when he was coming back to the Catholic church and I think someone from the videos described the evil one as a dark, formless shape and the reason being that the thing lacks the light of God so it is now dark. The dream I had happened not too long after I went to confession for the first time in 4 years.

The sleep paralysis and nightmares about evil beings started very early for me. If I was to take a guess, it started around the time my father died, when I was 5, and pretty much stopped when I was around 17 or 18 years, after I awoke from a nightmare about a grotesque red hand grabbing my arm in bed. It burned where it touched even when I was awake. I had angrily said out loud as I stomped my feet from the room I had slept in to my room, “I am a child of God. This should not be happening to me.” and also speaking to God about it. It is the first time I got upset about the nightmares. I was always so afraid back then. After that day, I slept peacefully and well-rested, and started to love sleeping long hours. So, the nightmare in Jan 2023, was not the norm at the time I had it.

Apart from praying for them, I moved on with my life and drew closer to Mary, praying a daily consecration of exterior goods to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and afterwards I said the “Consecration to Mary” prayer on EWTN daily. This was even before I learnt about the “Consecration to Jesus through Mary” course. So, it all felt so timely, as though I was being called to complete the consecration course. I must admit that it is only upon renewal of my consecration this year that I began to gain a better understanding of the 33-day course written by St. Louis-Marie de Montfort. Although, I never did deviate from my daily devotion, scrupulosity was starting to take root, as I was losing understanding, and I feel as though I was holding back until I renewed my consecration last month. I am thankful to the Heralds of the Gospel for guiding me twice now. It is an amazing devotion and I have never felt as close to God like this in the past. I know that surely the Lord will heal me completely because I place my trust completely in Him. Although, I have mentioned nightmares now and it might seem pretty dark, I have had dreams of a pure and heavenly nature and heard things I have held so close to my heart, not wanting to forget them, that I have written them down. They impress on me that they surpass any bad thing I may have ever seen or heard.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A song you can listen to!

Discipline

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I would like to start off this post by recommending a YouTube video. The weirdest thing happened to me this week when I played it on my phone. The volume on my phone kept going down. Each time, I would turn it back up, the volume would automatically turn down low, close to being silent, until I intervened and turned it back up. I started praying to God to protect me, calling on the name of Jesus. I probably asked for the intercession of Mary (this is becoming a habit) and St. Catherine (I was watching a video about her, so it makes sense), and it desisted after a short while. All in all, I relied on God to do the fighting. I did not have to restart my phone or change any settings on it, so it was a very weird thing. This happened on Tuesday night in my bedroom. It is God’s grace that I felt no fear, instead, I was ready to fight through the only way I really know how to, through prayer. The video is titled “The Apostle of the Blood of Christ: St. Catherine of Siena”. Here is the link, go and watch: The Apostle of the Blood of Christ: St. Catherine of Siena

St. Catherine of Siena is my patron saint. When I chose the name Catherine for my confirmation name, I did not realize what I was doing. I just thought the name to be a pretty name. That was until recently, maybe last year, that I learnt about her, and I found myself relating to her experiences, one of which is her extreme fasts when she was just young. I have a weird relationship with food. When I was maybe 12 or 13, I started rigorous fasts from food, not for good religious purposes unfortunately, but to lose weight because I was called “fat”. I would go 24 hours without eating and I did not feel hunger, but would only come to know when I realised I had forgotten to eat. When I did eat, I ate ridiculously tiny portions, maybe once a day, coupled with a small snack (cheese balls). While it was a rather bad reason that caused me to engage in this, I cannot deny when I look back, that as a child I had so much discipline, a grace and a gift from God.

4 years ago, I came to the recognition through the study of the Bible, that nothing happens without God knowing or allowing it to happen and everything that happens is ultimately for the glory of His name, that is, for good. Isaiah 45 tells this bit very clearly. I learnt that it is pointless to be mad at God or to fight God and as much as we are important to Him, as much as we are loved by Him, we are nothing. I recognised that this is hard to accept but I believe acceptance of these things is key to managing anxiety.

I gained understanding of other facts as well, such as facts about gratitude, hope and love – gratitude to God while weighed down by troubles, hope that suffering is not forever, hope that God will show his glory in the situation, Love, God’s love, which shields our hearts even as we hurt, such that the pain is dull, and we know we are not alone. I had another pang of anxiety after I had learnt these things, and so I told myself these things and I felt my heart grow stronger and the anxiety leave me. You see, “My life is in God’s hands. Nothing happens to me without His consent. It is part of His plan, and He shall be glorified through my situation. I am not alone. Never alone. God walks with me. So, I should walk through life lightly.”

So, when in the video I spoke of earlier, Bishop Barron mentioned that St. Catherine received a Divine Word about her relationship to God, “You are she who is not and I am He Who is.”, I could understand it. Watching this video has helped me to remember the revelation I received from God years ago. It is easy to forget so I am thankful to remember.

I find it interesting how I have had in my life, strong bursts of faith, only to be faithless afterwards or moments of Divine inspiration without even realizing it, until I go back to read what I have written and I am amazed, but it all goes to show that even the burst of faith or Divine inspiration which I have experienced in my life, is all because of God’s grace at work in my life, and being here right now in my journey to know Him and to be like Him; all this could only be God’s doing.

The religious life requires discipline but even more so, the religious life requires God Who supplies us with the Grace we need to encounter Him, to be transformed by these encounters, in order to draw us even closer to Him with a discipline that is only possible through Him, with Him and in Him. I am hopeful when I think back to the child I was, that God will supply me once again with an even stronger discipline with which I will be able to dwell in His house forever to behold His beauty that surpasses all understanding.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A song you can listen to!

My End Of the Year Post

By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary.

It has been a while and to not run the risk of sounding like a broken record, how about I do not apologize for being away.

I have done an end of the year evaluation since 2020, I believe. So, I felt it customary to continue it this year.

This year has gone by pretty quick, that when I try to look back on the events of the year, it feels almost like yesterday that the year began, and yet quite deliciously contrary, the density of my memories lie squarely on my mind, like a thickly condensed flashback which I have a good grasp of in its intricateness.

I prayed a lot this year, more than I have ever done in my entire life, without my mother prompting me to “Come, let us pray”. I actually pursued God this year. How incredibly! I remember when the days to my time in London was starting to run out, just before I was to travel to Canada, I had mentioned to a colleague of mine, that if I arrived in Canada, with my mom around, I would feel obligated to attend mass out of a deference to her and to keep the peace, in her heart and in the house. But, I did wish that I felt a desire to go to mass, not just out of obligation to her. And how it would make everything easier. Fast forward to actually coming here and having an encounter with God which just filled my heart with a fire, a longing and a desire for God, that I went to confession last year, for the first time in 4 years, and strove after God from that time on. God is great! He hears the desires of my heart! He hears the words I speak! He knows me through and through, more than I can ever know myself and loves me completely. I am comfortable telling Him to help me because I am helpless most times, and He really does reach out and set me aright, even when I do not use those specific words.

I am here right now, completely imperfect, yet my mind reminds me that my God once told me that He salivates in the way I love. That made me happy at first, then shook me, because I know me. So, He must see so much good in me, and there is hope for me. I really just want to please Him, that I feel disappointed when I cannot do some things I wish I could do. I am praying always that God is patient with me because of my weaknesses, as I navigate all of this and I can finally drop all of the weight which I hate, but I always take great comfort and hide in His love. It is the safest I will ever be ever. So, I will cast my arms around Him, although I cannot contain His presence, and He will fill me always with His goodness.

For anyone wanting to gain a better understanding of the faith, you can check out Ascension Presents on YouTube for short videos. I hope God ignites that passion in your heart for Him too.

To everyone reading this, thank you for finding my blog, thank you for staying. I pray that God blooms the seed planted already in your hearts and you rejoice always in the Lord, so that your joy may be complete!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

The Right Time

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I think I have been away for over 6 months (correction: 4 months) and I really owe everyone an apology, including myself because this is really atrocious, haha..

On a serious note, I really tried to block out the thoughts of my blog and my podcast, and push off writing and creating posts because of the effort it takes to make the voice recordings. To be honest, I do not enjoy hearing back the sound of my voice. That is why these voice recordings are kind of weird to me. But, I actually enjoy the entire creating process, so, I don’t know what to say.

I hope everyone is doing okay. It’s been half a year, so, I bet a lot of things have happened in that time for you and for me too. If you care to, you can share in the comment section below.

Particularly for me, I have grown a deeper understanding and love for my faith in these 6 months. I am Catholic, just in case nobody knows. My prayer life has been more regular than it has ever been before and I am happy about that. I pray for final perseverance.

I will say for the most part I feel clueless nowadays. I don’t understand a lot of things and I fear God is speaking to me but I do not understand His message because of my short-sightedness. I say this because a recent bible passage from “The Bible in a Year” podcast, mirrored my actions and prayers. It is quite uncanny because this has happened to me twice now, first at the start of the year when this same feeling was strong and again recently, this week actually. I really do not know how clueless I can be as to what God is trying to tell me. I am a bit frustrated with myself. Pray for me that I have clarity. I just paused to pray for it too. Weird how I don’t recall praying for it before now. but perhaps I did.

Maybe I know the answer but I do not want to believe it. haha. And that is quite sad when I think about it.

The answer I can see is that God has sent His angel to take care of it.

So, if that is the case, then I am thankful to God for answered prayers.

Sidebar: I wrote this around midnight. I don’t know how I’m gonna put this all together. But, I created this post around midnight and I was like I’ll go to bed, wake up, say my prayer, come back, record this, and then finish the entire process of creating this. So, while I was on instagram, when I woke up in the morning, I saw an instagram post about “Let God take care of it. Open up the Word and listen to what God is trying to tell you”. So, I decided to listen to today’s bible verses on the Bible in a year. And something stuck out to me: “If you will not believe surely you shall not be established.” And that put a serious fear within me. Because I obviously do not want to be the one who is stopping God’s blessings from getting to me. Because we can do that to ourselves without realizing. So, I said a prayer, “I believe. Lord, heal my unbelief.” And I do believe that there is nothing God cannot do. I think it is that I cannot imagine the strength of His love for me. That’s where the unbelief comes from. I just need to trust in His love for me. To trust in His provision and to just trust in God. I will be back to give a testimony once it is all fully revealed to me by God.

Anyway, I drove recently; this Tuesday to be precise. Not a lot though. I have a learner’s licence here in Canada, so, I have to actually practice driving. Before this week though, the last time I was behind the wheel was 6 years ago. It felt different on Tuesday. I did not have the crippling nerves like 6 years ago. It was almost nice. It could be because my new friend, who was calm throughout, was in the passenger seat and not my brother. I love my brother but I remember him yelling 6 years ago and that was not fun. My friend, on the other hand, was using his phone at some point and when I asked him if he was afraid, he told me he wasn’t and that was his reason for using his phone. I might also have almost enjoyed driving now because I am older and calmer when it comes to handling “new things”, haha, but just a little bit calmer. But maybe that “little” makes such a huge difference on my temperament. I honestly just want to get the learning phase over with so I can move on from it. My impatience is unreal but I am trying to reel it all in. Lastly, it is definitely because I have been praying for a better experience this time around.

During the drive, I mentioned to my friend that my dad is not alive and he was so shocked and sad for me. My dad died when I was 5. It has been such a long time, which I tried to explain to him. Then He asked if my mom ever remarried or if I had any male role models growing up and my answer was “No.” He was amazed by that. I know he meant well, but his questions made me consider how much I might have lacked not having my dad. I had claimed God as my Father a long time ago when I was in bed in London and the memory of my mom’s prayer from when I was a child came to my mind. “You are The Father to the fatherless, The Husband to the widow.” I had said the same to my friend too.

However, when I was alone, I could not help but feel deficient and some things made sense to me. So, I thought it might explain why I never learnt to ride a bike. Maybe I might have been forced to learn how to drive a car, if he’d lived. I don’t know. Perhaps if my dad didn’t die, I would have gotten more confident in my childhood. But also, I would have been so spoiled, like one of those spoilt rich kids, or maybe not, since my mom was so strict. I don’t know. I wondered how else my personality might have been affected. Am I overly independent as a result of his death? Do I contemplate a lot about dying because of his death? Am I unable to form tangible relationships with the opposite sex as a result? Do I distrust the tangibility of human connections just a little bit? haha..

It is pointless to imagine what might have been and yet my mind wondered briefly. My dad is a hero in my memory. I loved him easily and missed him without wondering what the emotion was. Secondary school was hard for me at one point, so, I had informed my mom, out of blue, one morning, just before we got into the car, on our way to the church where I would catch my school bus, that I was okay with her remarrying, all because I wanted a dad.

I am an adult now though and have lived a considerable portion of my life without my father. I suppose thinking these things about deficiencies stirred up some feelings of inadequacies in general about myself, one such being my inability to drive competently. I probably have to address those feelings with myself. I am not my driver status. lol. and I am working towards getting it changed, and that is all that matters.

I have been a late bloomer when it comes to getting over certain milestones in my life. One such being my confirmation in the Catholic Church. I kind of conveniently pushed off attending classes run by my secondary school because I did not understand why I should do it, and my mom did not come down too hard on me for not going. Maybe because she didn’t realize I was not attending though. lol. Because of that, I ended up getting confirmed later, along with my younger sister, at her own school’s program.

I think I was a bit embarrassed then too that I had not completed it when I was younger. However, looking back now, I think I did it at the right time. I was more receptive to the message that God loves me. I think it is the only thing I remember from those classes. I had received the message with so much shock and pleasure; it is so strange, because I don’t know why it had felt personal to me to read about it in a book the instructors made to teach us with. It was like hearing it for the first time; the idea of a personal relationship with God and I felt loved.

So, perhaps, that is how I ought to look at everything else in my life that I do not have or I have not done. Perhaps, it really isn’t the right time for me.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

The Right Time by Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
A song suggestion. Have a Listen! (mol-74「0.1s」)

St. Paul

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Today’s post was written on a night in January. I am convinced I am loved by God no matter what because of St. Paul’s confidence. I believe it is similar to what Fr. Mike Schmitz has explained about our belief not being in isolation when we say the Nicene Creed. We believe in and with a community of believers and are strengthened together in the midst of all believers. My translation of what he’d said anyway. Funny enough, I wrote this post prior to listening to Fr. Mike Schmitz.

It was nighttime that day and I thought of St. Paul as I ate my peppery pasta. I tried to imagine how he must have felt. He’d sinned against God when he persecuted God’s people. I wondered for a moment if he ever went back in his head and heart and felt torture remembering this but as soon as that thought formed, I realized he felt loved because a summarized version of a bible verse which he wrote popped into my head right after.

“Nothing can separate us from the love of God.”

I knew with certainty that he felt loved and I felt loved as well by proxy.

Reading the bible verse now, I must admit he says it so much better. His conviction carries through and lifts my heart. So, I shall put it here for you to read, so that your heart will find rest from its torment.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:35-39 (NIV)

08 Jan 2023

“Catalogued thoughts”

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

St. Paul By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Listen on Podcast @Amara’s Musings
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A Blessed Year

By Cynthia Aralu

“The Lord bless you and keep you:

The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you:

The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.”

Numbers 6:24-26 (The Bible)

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Happy New Year! We are nearing the end of the first month of the year and I felt it necessary to wish everyone here a Blessed Year!

I ended last year expectant of all the blessings I felt in my soul that God has meant for me in the New Year! I have been blessed in extraordinary ways already, just learning about the heart of God and being in His presence daily. The understanding of just how loved I am has been overwhelming, transcendental and transforming. Gratitude spills out of my being like a spring of water giving me peace and joy that I know can only be from God. I am so grateful to God for His gift of counsel and steering me aright, for opening my eyes to the undeniable truth; His gift of grace upon grace. Therefore, I am not random. I am not an accident because The Lord knows me by my name. He has set me apart and it is my prayer that I rise to the occasion in being Holy as my Heavenly Father is Holy.

Soon, I am to begin a new job as a project manager. God has blessed me. It is by His grace that my faith persevered. He had set His countenance on me and been gracious to me because I put all my hope in Him. He has given me direction which has proved useful in securing a certification as well. It is my prayer to move forward all the days of my life with the courage of Joshua, putting my entire trust in God, Who believes in me, and to live a life set apart like Daniel; to pray and to hear the voice of God just like Daniel did.

I would like to end today’s post with an encouragement to everyone to seek God who gives peace beyond understanding; The Lord, my God, Who is a Strong Tower and all who run to Him, find comfort and refuge.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

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2022 In Review

By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I started off the year feeling hopeful. I wished to remain hopeful and persevere once again this year.

There were moments I lost hope. I felt hurt. I felt pain. I could not see the light. When I caught myself doing this, I reminded myself to hope once again. I am glad I kept on hoping.

Wonderful things happened to me this year in the midst of life’s turbulence. I got a merit raise. I am thankful to God that I had the courage to ask for a raise…and for the raise as well. The raise didn’t even come to me until 3 months had passed after I had asked. I wanted more in the way of professional development into a future career path I am hopeful for but when I asked I was not given that opportunity.

After a long wait this year, my Canadian PR was approved and in the same month as my mom’s too.

I dealt with unsavoury characters and thrived in a hostile environment. A character showed a softness towards the end of my time in London that I never expected.

I had a conversation with someone about this and she told me we attract everything that happens to us. I don’t agree with what I had been told about attracting all that I am because I have not had unkindness dealt towards me because this is what I put out. I had had a tough time in London. I had met difficult people and the wall I developed was higher than that of the wall of China. I never let myself be soft with these people. I matched their toughness and defended myself. Even though I didn’t fully agree with her, I did wonder if there was some level of truth to what she said. It made me sad. It made me ask myself these questions.

“Is it faith I’m lacking,

Is it hope I’m lacking,

Is it love?

Maybe it’s all.”

– Me (23 Sep 2022)

While I do not agree with her now, I do see how I could have reacted differently to the way I had been treated. I could have been soft towards them while they were terrible to me and rejoiced in it. Now, I see it as a chance I could have used to draw even closer to God. To know His word, To know His Will. To know Him.

I was complacent in my spirituality and I didn’t realize this until I had moved to Canada. I actually had a thought in London prior to moving, “If God is not angry with me because He was still good to me. Then, it must be fine. I must be doing nothing wrong.”

I had a tough time with my job applications in Canada and I thought, “Could God be mad at me?”

I had felt I was good relatively, but upon self examination, I realized I was far from being okay and I resolved to fix things.

I am not quite sure what spurred on my study of the bible.

Was it the funny skit that Ariel Fitzpatrick made. The one where she said, “God answers the prayer of the righteous”. That skit had caused me to pause. I did not feel righteous. I always imagined it impossible to be righteous so, I never really thought I could win there and I never tried, but I did know I am a daughter of The Most High and I am loved regardless of my imperfections.

Was it the bible notification I received which said to “Seek first His kingdom and everything else will be added onto you”. Did that do it?

I know I sensed I was supposed to seek God. Even heard a voice say, “Seek me” at some point. I read about Abraham, who himself was a nomad, and I could relate to him in that aspect of his life. Reading about Abraham made me realize what it meant to be righteous. Obedience to God. Then, I read the Bible even more. I explored devotional plans on YouVersion that I felt I was supposed to read and I learnt more about God and how I have not exactly been living a life that was pleasing to God and it felt ridiculous to me that I had even been complacent.

I found God once again, but also quite differently. This time I care enough to do what pleases Him because he really does care about what I do and I love Him. I think I am still learning and growing to be firm in these things, praying and asking for His help every step of the way.

The year ends soon. I am so hopeful for all the New Year will hold. I am expectant of the blessings God has in store for me and I feel His love for me; His presence in my life.

In the New Year, I hope to have an even stronger understanding of who God is and to live as he would want. I hope for all things good and soft in the New Year. I especially hope to have faith, hope and love, swirling within me and everywhere all around me.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

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Love Letter

By Cynthia Aralu

My two favorite things to wear: a necklace and eyeliner.

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Today’s post is a sweet poem titled “Love Letter”. I was inspired right after reading the book, “Persuasion” by Jane Austen. Hope you enjoy it!

Love Letter

How about a love letter?

Take a pen as confidant. 

Let your heart speak courageously, 

Secret words your lips fail to utter. 

Let the ink trace feelings rooted,

From before mind can make memory whisper. 

Tell it sweet,

Tell it sincere,

Make love blush into complaisance, 

Love’s eyes now wide open to your heart,

Such that love never forgets.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

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Bad Judgement

By Cynthia Aralu

It is a weird situation. Where to start? 

I guess I never thought I’d ever be in this situation. I mostly keep to myself. I’d have to be comfortable to go to where you are, for me to ever do so. And if I’m told, “You’re always welcome to come.” That to me is an invitation. And if I start to speak to you and start to think, you just might be okay, I would consider if we could be friends. If I give my phone to you and say to you, “put in your number”, and you dial your phone from mine, right in front of me, without a prompt from me, and afterwards I ask, “so that means we’re friends, right?” and you agree, I would think we are friends. I would show you grace as a friend, if ever you fall short. I have too much self control to ever be deliberately sexual in speech, so, if I speak about wanting to see your garden, best believe I mean that as a friend wanting to spend time with another friend, and if I speak about a serious topic like cervical screening, there really is no sexual overtone, just an intellectual conversation I am trying to have. I would not take banter seriously. I would create space for you in my mind and in my heart. I’m kind of simple and straight forward like that.

I have been honest from the start, so, it is silly, I think, that I have been made to feel that I had imagined us being friends. Even the manner of revelation had been foul. I am glad I had the sense to find out and he’d been uninhibited when he’d spoken. But, I don’t take disrespect lightly and I never stay where I’m not welcome. I also don’t waste energy on people who are not family or friends. 

It made me sick to think that I was talked about by people I considered friends. And it did hurt. A silent battle waged in my mind as I tried to decide on whether to allow myself to feel my emotion or whether to stop myself from wasting my emotion on someone who does not hold importance in my life anymore. You see, I have come a long way to finally feel a myriad of emotions as they occur, unlike in the past when I felt too detached from an experience to know how I actually felt, such that I was fascinated and worried as a child that I had never felt the emotion of missing someone, but my sister was clearly able to.

I don’t know what it was and I cannot exactly wrap my head around it, but I read a tweet as I scrolled through twitter, which brought me to the conclusion that all of this, the event, the emotion and the individual, did not really matter and I stopped hurting.

I hope to forget this happened once again, as with all of life’s character building experiences, and to stay soft, to stay kind and to always prosper. 

Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

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