These days, my Instagram feed is mostly about Bible verses or the things of Christ. Even though I cannot dispute it is a good thing to have my feed full of the things of God, I fear I have lost a lot of my initial motivation; the desire to only see the things of God. Without intending to, I have tamed the algorithm of my feed by liking bible verses, prayers and the things of God, because I do indeed like them. They are good after all. As a result of this, even though I engage in scrolling, it cannot be mindless but it is somewhat driven by a distractedness. Yesterday night, just before bed, I engaged in this same distracted scrolling, and I would like each reel as I scrolled. I stumbled across verses about the significance of Christ’s suffering and death and a verse caused me to pause. It could be that the verse from Isaiah which I had intently listened to in church hours earlier, had helped to bring it all together in my mind as I scrolled, such that I reached enlightenment on reading the verse from St. Peter which said that “He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed”
I could not help but wonder, “Could it be that our sins were literally his wounds?”
For some reason, I had been trying so hard to understand it beyond what was stated when it was as plain as day. Am I the last in coming to know this?
There is no humour in the suffering and death of Jesus. There is so much gravity to sin that I have missed for most of my life. Was it purposeful because I could not bear it?
It is as plain as Isaiah said, that “As many were astonished at him his appearance was so marred, beyond human semblance, and his form beyond that of the sons of men—so shall he startle many nations; kings shall shut their mouths because of him; for that which has not been told them they shall see, and that which they have not heard they shall understand”.
That is just how gnarly sin is, and rightly so, we all should be astonished by sin and its effect. Every wound Jesus took on, that which was visible and invisible to the human eyes, I inflicted and yet He chose it willingly so that I may have life through His suffering. It is the redemptive power of suffering when it is offered up to God, united to Jesus, of which I now have a share in, and only quite recently did I grasp this, without even fully realizing what I was doing, until I wrote about it.
I woke up this morning and I pondered even more about all of this which I have mentioned. I remembered the passage from scripture that said, “they will see without perceiving, hear but without understanding.”. I could not help but wonder, “What else have I missed?”. I was so full of gratitude to God, so I thanked Jesus for His offering of Himself and I thanked God the Father and the Holy Spirit for enlightening me.
Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone. Pray the Rosary. This week, within a short period of time, I started and completed the book “The Secret of the Rosary” written by St. Louis Marie de Montfort, thanks… Read more
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! (Pray the Rosary) I watched a video recently of someone scoffing at the word “baptism” and saying they don’t do that at his church but they do something else, although… Read more
Preserve me, O God, for in Thee I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “Thou art my Lord; I have no good apart from Thee.”
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; Thou holdest my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I keep the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
– Psalm 16:1-2, 5-8
Happy New Year Everyone! Pray the Rosary.
I hope everyone is keeping well this New Year. We are about halfway into the first month of year and I’ve got to say, I started off the New Year with good news. I took the PMP certification exam in the early hours of Jan 1st, right from the comfort of my home and I received word the next day that I passed. I am so thankful to God for his help in my success, which is His. It has been a long time coming. He put the goal in my mind years ago, although I did not know the path to take to get it or think that I would be eligible to take the exam, but He pushed me forward with a gentleness and His persevering Spirit. I applied around July last year for the exam and my application was approved. I was so overjoyed because prior to applying I had a fear that I hadn’t had the title of “Project Manager” for very long and perhaps that could affect my application but it did not matter.
I was deep into preparing for the exam when I discovered that I made a huge error in my application which had already been approved; there was an error in my work history which made it look like I had more years of experience in a particular job role than I actually had. I wrestled with myself about reporting this to PMI. And then I wrestled with God. I have a tendency of taking shortcuts as long as I get to my goal and no one gets hurt. It is still something I am fighting to overcome and in that moment, it was so hard. I told God that anyone I told about reporting this and withdrawing my application would think I am stupid, since I had already passed through the approval process and there was no way I would be audited after that approval. But, as I wrestled with God in my head, I heard a video playing from my phone say, “Have Faith”.
I felt a profound peace wash over me after I heard that, so, I messaged the customer service line of PMI and reported the error and told the rep to withdraw my application. I think this happened in October of last year. At that time, I was nearing the end of the study group session I was a part of, so when I withdrew my application and re-applied, I felt unsure of where I stood, even as I attended the study session that followed after. In the wait for the re-evaluation of my application, my studying slowed down somewhat and I took a bit of a break from the gruelling studying I was engaged in. I saw a movie at the cinema with a friend and really just slowed down. Thanks be to God, my second application was approved and I didn’t have to go through a stressful audit. The studying I did for this exam was incredibly stressful and I don’t remember an exam ever stressing me as much as this exam did.
To put things into context, and not to be boastful because my life really is a display of the goodness of God; I have not failed any course I have taken since the WASSCE at the end of secondary school. It was understandable I performed poorly since I had not studied and I did not trust in God. I got mostly Cs, which was not helpful to me if I wanted to get into Medicine, which I did want at the time, but since then, I have grown to be aware that I am somewhat capable if I work hard and ask God for His help, because I graduated with a Distinction, the highest grade achievable, in my MSc course in Pharmaceutical Sciences at Kingston University, despite my “poor memory” which I have struggled with a long time, and yet my MSc course did not stress me out quite like this exam did. It could be because this exam is not a part of the sciences, so it was a lot of learning of terms or concepts for the first time.
There were moments I wanted to stop studying but I deeply wanted God to help me and I wanted to approach Him knowing that I had given it my all. I knew He would help me like He always did. To be clear, I did not wait until it was time to take the exam before I started praying. I prayed before I applied; continuously as I prepared, for guidance while I studied, to absorb the information as I studied, to retain it, to be able to answer any question put forth in front of me at the exam, and to have an easier exam than the practice questions I went through. I prayed as well during the exam, as my belly started to hurt as I answered the first 60 questions which I thought were okay enough, and continued praying as the questions got annoyingly harder during the second 60 questions, and continued praying as the discomfort in my belly persisted during the last 60 questions which I thought were fair.
I did not fully sense God’s presence as I wrote the exam but I knew He had to be present because He is always with me, because He is faithful, not because of anything I do, but because of His Character. However, my senses were dull, so my prayer as I took this exam was desperate as time progressed. You see, sometimes, I am able to sense Him in the breeze that envelopes me, or in the movement in my mind that allows me to see things clearly which I once did not understand, once I ask for His help, or a warmth of my cheeks and a rush, or a warm, cozy feeling in my heart that makes me feel cocooned, or the repetition of a phrase everywhere He would like me to explore in the bible, or a peace that comes over me, and many more ways, because God cannot be contained and I am not able to know all of the ways in which He makes His presence known.
I did not get my result immediately after the exam, like I expected to, and I allowed that to put me in a bad mood for the remainder of the day. I even started to regret taking the exam on that day because of how tired and sleep-deprived I was, how unsure I was about how I did on the exam, and my foul mood on the first day of the year. At the end of the day, I realized the reason my mood was off. I did not start the day praying. When I was planning to take this exam, I did not factor in setting aside an hour of the day to pray in the morning like I normally do. I woke up, did a quick prayer as I got ready for the exam and got on with it.
I am working on staying joyful throughout this year, despite what my eyes see, since I am short sighted in the physical and in many ways in the spirit. I am praying for discernment this year, of God’s will, God’s voice and God’s wise counsel. I am also praying for the grace and the strength of will to always do His will, so that I may be wise in all that I do, and also that I and my family may always abide in His house forever.
I am working on building intimacy with God this year, being mindful of my actions and acting indeed like I believe God to be the Lord of my life, so that I can glorify God by the way I live my life.
I am also working on bringing to the forefront of my mind, to serve as a guide on how I perceive and move through this world, that everything in the world belongs to me, so that I do not try to rush to grab it all for myself and I can be patient in letting others have it. Let me try to explain what I mean and I hope this makes sense. I came to this realization early one morning, on my way to work last year, when I pondered on one of the temptations of Jesus, which on and off would come to my mind, and I would think it strange, confusing and not very smart of the devil to tempt Jesus with the whole world when it all belongs to Jesus, but then it dawned on me, “Does it not all belong to me too, since I am an Heir of God and co-heir with Jesus?” It allowed me to be able to give more to the people around me when I remembered, because there is no reason I should be fighting or grasping for things or getting mad or sad over things that are ultimately mine. To operate from a mindset of abundance that comes from being who I am, a daughter of God, rather than from a viewpoint of scarcity that comes from the brokenness and scarcity I have encountered all my life. Of course, I am still working on remembering and applying this.
I hope to be thankful all year to God for all of His mercies, His kindness, His love, His grace, His revelations, His presence, His nearness, His movements, His provisions, His goodness and for Him, which He has already poured out into me and around me, trusting that He will continue to do so the rest of this year and the rest of my life, because He is faithful.
God bless you all in the New Year!
Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone. Pray the Rosary. This week, within a short period of time, I started and completed the book “The Secret of the Rosary” written by St. Louis Marie de Montfort, thanks… Read more
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! (Pray the Rosary) I watched a video recently of someone scoffing at the word “baptism” and saying they don’t do that at his church but they do something else, although… Read more
I started off the year feeling hopeful. I wished to remain hopeful and persevere once again this year.
There were moments I lost hope. I felt hurt. I felt pain. I could not see the light. When I caught myself doing this, I reminded myself to hope once again. I am glad I kept on hoping.
Wonderful things happened to me this year in the midst of life’s turbulence. I got a merit raise. I am thankful to God that I had the courage to ask for a raise…and for the raise as well. The raise didn’t even come to me until 3 months had passed after I had asked. I wanted more in the way of professional development into a future career path I am hopeful for but when I asked I was not given that opportunity.
After a long wait this year, my Canadian PR was approved and in the same month as my mom’s too.
I dealt with unsavoury characters and thrived in a hostile environment. A character showed a softness towards the end of my time in London that I never expected.
I had a conversation with someone about this and she told me we attract everything that happens to us. I don’t agree with what I had been told about attracting all that I am because I have not had unkindness dealt towards me because this is what I put out. I had had a tough time in London. I had met difficult people and the wall I developed was higher than that of the wall of China. I never let myself be soft with these people. I matched their toughness and defended myself. Even though I didn’t fully agree with her, I did wonder if there was some level of truth to what she said. It made me sad. It made me ask myself these questions.
“Is it faith I’m lacking,
Is it hope I’m lacking,
Is it love?
Maybe it’s all.”
– Me (23 Sep 2022)
While I do not agree with her now, I do see how I could have reacted differently to the way I had been treated. I could have been soft towards them while they were terrible to me and rejoiced in it. Now, I see it as a chance I could have used to draw even closer to God. To know His word, To know His Will. To know Him.
I was complacent in my spirituality and I didn’t realize this until I had moved to Canada. I actually had a thought in London prior to moving, “If God is not angry with me because He was still good to me. Then, it must be fine. I must be doing nothing wrong.”
I had a tough time with my job applications in Canada and I thought, “Could God be mad at me?”
I had felt I was good relatively, but upon self examination, I realized I was far from being okay and I resolved to fix things.
I am not quite sure what spurred on my study of the bible.
Was it the funny skit that Ariel Fitzpatrick made. The one where she said, “God answers the prayer of the righteous”. That skit had caused me to pause. I did not feel righteous. I always imagined it impossible to be righteous so, I never really thought I could win there and I never tried, but I did know I am a daughter of The Most High and I am loved regardless of my imperfections.
Was it the bible notification I received which said to “Seek first His kingdom and everything else will be added onto you”. Did that do it?
I know I sensed I was supposed to seek God. Even heard a voice say, “Seek me” at some point. I read about Abraham, who himself was a nomad, and I could relate to him in that aspect of his life. Reading about Abraham made me realize what it meant to be righteous. Obedience to God. Then, I read the Bible even more. I explored devotional plans on YouVersion that I felt I was supposed to read and I learnt more about God and how I have not exactly been living a life that was pleasing to God and it felt ridiculous to me that I had even been complacent.
I found God once again, but also quite differently. This time I care enough to do what pleases Him because he really does care about what I do and I love Him. I think I am still learning and growing to be firm in these things, praying and asking for His help every step of the way.
The year ends soon. I am so hopeful for all the New Year will hold. I am expectant of the blessings God has in store for me and I feel His love for me; His presence in my life.
In the New Year, I hope to have an even stronger understanding of who God is and to live as he would want. I hope for all things good and soft in the New Year. I especially hope to have faith, hope and love, swirling within me and everywhere all around me.
Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone. Pray the Rosary. This week, within a short period of time, I started and completed the book “The Secret of the Rosary” written by St. Louis Marie de Montfort, thanks to the audiobook on Spotify. See link here: The Secret of the Rosary It is the most powerful book I have…
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! (Pray the Rosary) I watched a video recently of someone scoffing at the word “baptism” and saying they don’t do that at his church but they do something else, although it does involve water. I could not listen to the end of the video so I don’t know the full…
By Cynthia Aralu Images from https://catholicconvert.com/meaning-of-sacred-and-immaculate-hearts/ Hi everyone! (Pray the Rosary) This is imperfect and very rough, but I wrote down my reflections while praying the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and I thought I would refine it a bit and put it here just in case anyone needs help meditating on the…
Today’s post is really about the importance of community. Sometimes, I do not really have the words the convey my thoughts and feelings. So, I rely on past words from myself and others to convey my heart.
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The first mini write-up are the words from a priest’s sermon that has been stuck in my head since I heard it in 2017/2018.
A Priest’s Sermon
“If God is community, why go it alone?”
– Fr Uche of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church New Malden, London
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In the second mini write-up, I realized my family and I always had community even if we may not have always seen them.
To Those Left Behind
I attended a mid week prayer session on Clubhouse and one of the speakers while praying, said some words for the people who passed away. She went further to add a prayer:
“And for those left behind…” Her words came through my phone’s speaker.
Maybe I have heard this line in prayers a million times before. However, at that mid week prayer session, it felt like the first time I had heard a prayer for the ones left behind. The words “Left behind” really registered in my mind because it described exactly how I felt after my father died. My anger had been great that I had been left behind. But even more important than my past anger which all dissipated a long time ago, I was surprised that we’d been prayed for by people who knew us and those who didn’t, and that we were constantly being included in the gathering of believers who said the same prayer.
“Were we prayed for?” That was my thought as I’d heard her prayer. Just how much were we bolstered as a family by these prayers by no faces, even when we could have been defeated? I just think there is something powerful about that.
I am grateful to have had the support of all who said that prayer and I am humbled at the immensity of the community that is found within the Church.
– Me (28 May 2022)
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The third is an indulgence in retrospection on the importance of having your own community, even more important when you are having a bad time.
Isolation
People are peculiar when they say because they are going through it, they cannot make the required effort to keep relationships going. Basic contact to say Hi . I have been through it. And by it, I mean periods of mental incapacity.
I think in all of it, through all of my internal cries for help, it was my isolation that killed me most.
– Me (08 Sep 2022)
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To wrap up today’s post, I am reminded of the words of Albaner C. Eugene, when he spoke of surface relationships. He likened the relationship that God calls us to have with Him as one which is intimate and draws a parallel to the type of relationship he would prefer to have with his community. There is reciprocity in intimacy…true intimacy, that is, which asks of us to be vulnerable with each other. I am reminded as well of a conclusion I made about Jesus from reading the book of Mark; Jesus was okay being vulnerable regardless of being all knowing. I suppose I have been blessed with my family, that I can indeed be vulnerable with them. My mind draws back to a time when I was comfortable being vulnerable with friends until I found it difficult to trust. I suppose I would like to change that. I would like to build meaningful, deeper friendships.
Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.
Community By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Listen On My Podcast (Amara’s Musings)
A Song Suggestion: Red Rocks Worship – Things Of Heaven feat. Elyssa Smith (The Other Side)
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. I hope you are doing well! I write this knowing that for the past week or so I have been plagued in my body, in an on and off manner, with temptation, and it all started with a dream, in which I saw a form at the…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone. Pray the Rosary. I have had 3 sleep paralysis episodes since I spoke about my nightmares on one of my previous posts. I wonder if I can say the nightmares are back. Perhaps, I have seen the last of it. God knows. The first one, I panicked because I could…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. During Lent, I came to the conclusion, I believe through God’s help, that I have a difficulty feeling empathy for the Passion and Suffering of Jesus, so I begged Jesus, in front of the blessed sacrament, to help me to feel His pain even if I have…
I think I’m okay for the most part but earlier I caught myself unconsciously teary eyed when I remembered the words I wrote about a negative experience.
As I’d stared off into the pitch dark night, from my seated position by the window, I couldn’t help but wonder, what possible character had been built by this experience. Was I more closed off as a result of it – more so than usual?
My mind had stumbled and been stuck on three words I had written in the past—“and it hurt”.
There’s no truth like a memory unfettered of an overactive mind; no truer emotion. I had marveled at the tears I’d felt sitting on the brim of my eyes, never falling, but this awareness had been enough to call my mind to its baseline hyperactive state and dry up my tears.
The strange thing is I did not shed a tear when this negative experience from memory had occurred to me. It had hurt like hell in my chest but I never cried. I couldn’t. It stopped hurting when I didn’t think the experience or emotion important.
It makes me wonder if I have many unresolved scars within me just like this one. Could it be toppled over, this well-preserved reality I have moulded of me being okay.
Perhaps it never topples over. This, I hope for. Perhaps this reality only fortifies itself. Always. So that I’m okay. Always.
There is also the explanation that I had written so well that upon re-reading, my words had struck a nerve and lingered in memory long enough to evoke emotions once my mind stayed still.
However, this is my mind, as usual, attempting to make sense of emotions, of me, just so I can survive.
I think I’m okay for the most part but sometimes, I do wonder.
Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. If you are the type to get scared when you read or watch stories about evil beings, you should probably skip this post, but I hope you tough it out. I am writing this post to shed some light on the fact that the evil one exists…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I would like to start off this post by recommending a YouTube video. The weirdest thing happened to me this week when I played it on my phone. The volume on my phone kept going down. Each time, I would turn it back up, the volume would…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Hope you are keeping well and are in good health. Another weekend is almost over and the time goes by so quickly. The events of this past Wednesday has me evaluating my thoughts towards people extending their hand to me for a handshake during the “exchange of…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I noticed yesterday that the theme of this week in Church, starting from Sunday, has been about the “Holy Eucharist” and I believe it is not a coincidence that I have experienced the things I spoke of in my last post. It makes me feel that God…
It is entirely possible to get an ego stroke when you find out someone feels any of the above for you. Common sense would be to allow this person to share this information with you, if you’ve come across the information from a source other than out of their mouth and straight into your ears, before you let it get to your head.
Besides, time changes things and who says a crush felt at some point would persist beyond the day it is brought to your awareness. Anyone wise would not place much stock on a crush. A crush is basically a cute way of saying infatuation. It isn’t based on knowing a person. Once one becomes aware of certain negative characteristics of the object of attraction, a crush dies. I guess someone who is immature might handle the knowledge of someone having a crush on them poorly.
A crush bears the potential of evolving into a “like”. A moment that for me would feel like, “Yes, I can say with my full chest that I like this person. I am proud to be associated with this human.” That “like” is still cautious, to be honest, because I have to reach a point where I can categorically say, there is nothing you can do that will stop me from loving you; a choice to love this person. It sounds like falling off a cliff and I think that’s what love is; only beautiful, when you’re falling off that cliff with someone. And therein, lies the bungee rope, that saves you from certain death; reciprocity and selflessness. It is such a huge gamble, with an incredibly enormous reward, only if you’re lucky. It tracks that people would want to experience this.
I have had someone tell me after 4 cerebral phone conversations that he thinks he might be falling in love with me. I was flattered at the idea of someone feeling so strongly for me after such a short period of getting to know how my mind actually ticks. However, we did have quite a lot of profound conversations every time we spoke, so, it is entirely possible that he got to know an idea of me on an extensive level, and this was enough to evoke such strong feelings. I was not in the right frame of mind to even go there with him and I don’t think I felt that spark. I loved his mind thoroughly though and the conversations were amazing. I think that is the reason our conversations were always great. We sort of thought that the other’s mind was awesome. I found him therapeutic and I learnt a lot about myself, which I put to good use, even after we stopped speaking, out of respect for his feelings.
I took away from that experience that I am amazing and I should not settle. I did not make him feel uncomfortable about his feelings. Because feelings are just that; feelings. They cannot be helped. Feed them and they grow. Starve them and they die. Ultimately, feelings should be acknowledged, understood better and respected.
Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.
Crush Vs Like Vs Love By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Recently, I got told that “I like to do ‘Holy Holy’”. This is a Nigerian way of saying I was overdoing the practice of holiness in this person’s eyes and that I loved to do so a lot. It was an ordinary thing I mentioned that I…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Last year, I was scrolling through IG and I came across a post about Mary. I believe on the post Mary was referred to as “Our Mother”. A comment popped up on my screen as it usually does when reels play. Someone asked, “Why is Mary Our…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. As a little girl, I did not like praying. My mom noticed this and would say so to me. I felt evil for not liking to pray and for other reasons I could not reconcile in my mind; not because of anything she said to me. My…
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. These days, my Instagram feed is mostly about Bible verses or the things of Christ. Even though I cannot dispute it is a good thing to have my feed full of the things of God, I fear I have lost a lot of my initial motivation; the…
I guess I never thought I’d ever be in this situation. I mostly keep to myself. I’d have to be comfortable to go to where you are, for me to ever do so. And if I’m told, “You’re always welcome to come.” That to me is an invitation. And if I start to speak to you and start to think, you just might be okay, I would consider if we could be friends. If I give my phone to you and say to you, “put in your number”, and you dial your phone from mine, right in front of me, without a prompt from me, and afterwards I ask, “so that means we’re friends, right?” and you agree, I would think we are friends. I would show you grace as a friend, if ever you fall short. I have too much self control to ever be deliberately sexual in speech, so, if I speak about wanting to see your garden, best believe I mean that as a friend wanting to spend time with another friend, and if I speak about a serious topic like cervical screening, there really is no sexual overtone, just an intellectual conversation I am trying to have. I would not take banter seriously. I would create space for you in my mind and in my heart. I’m kind of simple and straight forward like that.
I have been honest from the start, so, it is silly, I think, that I have been made to feel that I had imagined us being friends. Even the manner of revelation had been foul. I am glad I had the sense to find out and he’d been uninhibited when he’d spoken. But, I don’t take disrespect lightly and I never stay where I’m not welcome. I also don’t waste energy on people who are not family or friends.
It made me sick to think that I was talked about by people I considered friends. And it did hurt. A silent battle waged in my mind as I tried to decide on whether to allow myself to feel my emotion or whether to stop myself from wasting my emotion on someone who does not hold importance in my life anymore. You see, I have come a long way to finally feel a myriad of emotions as they occur, unlike in the past when I felt too detached from an experience to know how I actually felt, such that I was fascinated and worried as a child that I had never felt the emotion of missing someone, but my sister was clearly able to.
I don’t know what it was and I cannot exactly wrap my head around it, but I read a tweet as I scrolled through twitter, which brought me to the conclusion that all of this, the event, the emotion and the individual, did not really matter and I stopped hurting.
I hope to forget this happened once again, as with all of life’s character building experiences, and to stay soft, to stay kind and to always prosper.
Thank you for reading/listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.
By Cynthia Aralu Out of the depths I cry to Thee, O Lord!Lord, hear my voice!Let Thy ears be attentiveto the voice of my supplications! I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,and in His word I hope;my soul waits for the Lordmore than watchmen for the morning,more than watchmen for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord!For…
By Cynthia Aralu I lift up my eyes to the hills.From whence does my help come?My help comes from the Lord,Who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved, He who keeps you will not slumber.Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.The…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I was in church before the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe and I talked to her like I usually do whenever I stop by. I got the thought to write down some of the things I said to her, as best as I can remember, and…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Moments ago, I opened my Spotify and I got a creepy looking pop up on my screen: “Song Psychic. What areas of your life do you need answers to: Love, career, etc.”. I don’t recall all of the options. I should have taken a screen shot but…
Hi everyone. Welcome to another episode on my blog, Katmira’s blog, or podcast, Amara’s Musings, depending on which platform you are listening in on or reading.
At the risk of stating the obvious, the Year 2021 ends in 2 days. I started the year with God and I am ending it ever aware of God’s presence and hand in my life. I feel loved by God and I know nothing comes close to touching that. I am aware that I am loved just because. It is a very strong knowledge and a beautiful place to be in. I hope to stay here forever. I am thankful I have God as my Father. I pray He watches over and guides our every move and decision in the New Year. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
I decided to write a love letter to myself. Perhaps, you will be able to read or listen to my love letter, tell yourself you are beautiful and truly believe it. Thank you in advance for reading or listening to this post. Thank you for sticking with me throughout the year, when I was consistent and not so much that. Thank you for the compliments. I am thankful that my voice has brought peace to you. Thank you to all who promoted my blog and podcast. It means a lot to this girl who wants to reach as many hearts as possible but still stay hidden. And as always, I hope you enjoy this!
Dear Me,
Hi there! What a year you’ve had. You started the year not sure of what direction your career or future was going to go but you had trust in God and which ever way He meant for you to go and you persevered.
Thank you for being courageous this year. Actually, you have been pretty courageous these past four years being in a foreign country with no family around you.
I guess instead, thank you for choosing courage every single time this year you could have let fear and doubt get the best of you. For the numerous times you have chosen love, thank you Me. For the times, you have risen above and allowed the Holy Spirit to lead you, Thank you.
The bible says that we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s Love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who have been given to us (Romans 5:3-8). You are going to need that perseverance, courage, hope and trust in God and His Love once again in the New Year, love.
Look at you. You are no longer in crippling pain. Living is so much easier now.
Look at you. You are no longer in darkness. You feel. You laugh and feel your laughter bubbling over in your chest.
Thank you for choosing to grow. Thank you for reaching this level of self love, growth and self-confidence. I know you still have ways to go but you are always willing to do the work.
Thank you for choosing to reach this level of knowing God and wanting to know more of Him.
I can’t believe how far you have come. You can only go up from here with God’s help.
Thank you for choosing love and being willing to trust in love again. Since God is love, it makes absolute sense that you would always come back to the core of who you’ve always been.
Thank you for choosing peace. Thank you for choosing you.
To the beautiful me,
Who is just beginning to grasp how beautifully made she truly is.
Signed Me,
Who is in love with all that she is, everything, the up, down and the in-between.
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Dear Me, By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Amara’s Musings
A Beautiful Song to Listen to! Have a Listen!
Another beautiful song to listen to. I could not decide on which song from for King and Country to share today, so, I thought why choose one when you can share 2 good things😄. Hey, have a listen!
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. When you hear the scripture and people speak about Jesus and say, “He was one of us”, do you ever wonder what that really means? The bible said He suffered and was tempted in every way, yet without sinning, and as such is able to sympathize with…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone. Pray the Rosary. I started believing there were no coincidences even before understanding the reason I believed it, beyond something I heard on a TV show, coupled with my ability to connect dots where people didn’t. I did not grasp the depth of what I believed either, beyond the little…
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. I suppose I will begin at what I do know. Yesterday night and today, my mind has been full of the memory of a past dream I had about my dad, close to 3 years ago, in which at the end of it, I started to preach…
By Cynthia Aralu Preserve me, O God, for in Thee I take refuge.I say to the Lord, “Thou art my Lord;I have no good apart from Thee.” The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;Thou holdest my lot.The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;yea, I have a goodly heritage I bless the Lord who gives…
Hi everyone! I know it has been such a long time since I have actually come on here and posted something. But, I’m glad that I’m finally doing it, to be honest, because all weekend, I have actually been stalling to do this. I’m actually proud of myself because I wrote a couple of things that I can actually post on my blog and my podcast. This is titled “Just A Story” and my name is Cynthia Aralu.
Here it goes.
I think what we are seeing right now is people telling their stories but from a perspective different from what is considered the norm and other people thinking that they can learn from people’s trauma instead of living, experiencing and making their own path or finding what works for them. Isn’t that interesting?
I believe I had to stop to realise that people’s stories are their stories and may or may not work even for them, but this is what they are selling right now. Yet, a lot of people latch on to them like these stories are truth.
I mean, how many ways have I changed in the past 2 years; it is insane and beautiful at the same time just how much I have.
How many ways will these people change in the future? It seems unwise to latch on to their truth like it is gospel.
I have my gospel, my truth, and that is found in the bible. The Truth is unchanging. That is what I latch on to. That is my reason for latching on at all.
Thank you for reading or listening to my post; the telling of this story. If you liked it, follow me on my blog, KatMira’s Blog or like and comment on this post and you can also listen to me on my podcast, Amara’s Musings. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary. It has been a while and to not run the risk of sounding like a broken record, how about I do not apologize for being away. I have done an end of the year evaluation since 2020, I believe. So, I felt it customary to continue it…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I think I have been away for over 6 months (correction: 4 months) and I really owe everyone an apology, including myself because this is really atrocious, haha.. On a serious note, I really tried to block out the thoughts of my blog and my podcast, and…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Today’s post was written on a night in January. I am convinced I am loved by God no matter what because of St. Paul’s confidence. I believe it is similar to what Fr. Mike Schmitz has explained about our belief not being in isolation when we say…
By Cynthia Aralu Introduction to the Rosary “The Rosary is a Scripture-based prayer. It begins with the Apostles’ Creed, which summarizes the great mysteries of the Catholic faith. The Our Father, which introduces each mystery, is from the Gospels. The first part of the Hail Mary is the angel’s words announcing Christ’s birth and Elizabeth’s…
It has been a while since I have written with the intention to post, or should I say, anything that I categorise as worthwhile to post or something that doesn’t give people ammo to try to manipulate me.
It is inevitable to share a ton when I bare my soul to the e-notepad. However, in the past I mostly wrote in such a way as not to be understood per say, and yet, giving the reader free rein to feel and come to their own interpretation. I definitely found it interesting and lovely to find people engaging with my words.
I wrote something this night. It is so short that I wonder if it can be categorised as poetry. However, here it is. Enjoy!
Because I’m Alive
By Cynthia Aralu
I guess those things are things you can worry about;
Because I am alive.
Isn’t it silly that you worry when I am alive?
Because I’m Alive By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
And that’s it. I told you it was short. Thank you for reading or listening.
If you would like to hear more poetry from me or hear more content from me, you can follow me on my blog, to get notified whenever I post a new content or you can follow me on my podcast. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account. Cheers!
By Cynthia Aralu “The Lord bless you and keep you: The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you: The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26 (The Bible) Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Happy New Year! We are nearing the end of the…
By Cynthia Aralu Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. I started off the year feeling hopeful. I wished to remain hopeful and persevere once again this year. There were moments I lost hope. I felt hurt. I felt pain. I could not see the light. When I caught myself doing this, I reminded myself to hope…
By Cynthia Aralu My two favorite things to wear: a necklace and eyeliner. Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary. Today’s post is a sweet poem titled “Love Letter”. I was inspired right after reading the book, “Persuasion” by Jane Austen. Hope you enjoy it! Love Letter How about a love letter? Take a pen as confidant. …
By Cynthia Aralu Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary Today’s post is really about the importance of community. Sometimes, I do not really have the words the convey my thoughts and feelings. So, I rely on past words from myself and others to convey my heart. ———————————————- The first mini write-up are the words from a…
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