Category Archives: Sin

Discernment

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

Discernment is a gift from God, and this gift will save you from being in horrible situations. How are we to know who to listen to? How are we to know what is good?

We hear Jesus say in the Bible that, “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure produces evil; for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.“.

In another passage, Jesus says this: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? So, every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit. A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits.“

From Jesus’ words, I can only discern that Jesus cautions me to be careful about people who come to me in His Name and that I am to look to the words spoken by these people and their actions to discern what is in their hearts. Such caution, I will also apply to myself in discerning my heart, for it is necessary that I know myself, so that I too may come to repentance.

In my encounter with the content of a Catholic association whose content I follow and engage with, and in learning about the scandal that surrounds them, I have been given the opportunity by God to learn how to apply such caution, without an active awareness I was doing so. The Catholic organisation taught me and imparted so much good. I do not recall whether I learned of the scandals during the first period of being taught by them or after; I remain uncertain. Yet I found it difficult to believe they were the evil spoken of, even though I could not be sure and at times felt suspicion because of the scandal, to my shame and repentance. There are certain practices of theirs that I believe would serve them well not to continue, though none are inherently evil, and as well, my assessment of what might serve them could be wrong. The richness of the good that has come from their mouths, combined with the impression I have that they seem not to have been touched by evil or darkness has deeply influenced me to believe they are good (though perhaps this is only evidence that Jesus has transformed them so profoundly that their senses reflect this, without this being the truth of their life experiences).

I asked Mary whether they are good, and I believe I prayed for the vindication of their founder if he was indeed a good man, though my memory is not entirely clear. Even after discovering the past scandals, I did not stop watching them. I wondered how they could produce so much good and have such a good influence on me, leading me to Mary, Jesus and my repentance, and so I chose to accept the good they offered. I wished they would defend or explain themselves, but I never found any explanation, even when I searched for it. Recently, however, they released a book presenting evidence of the wrongs done to them, the damage to their reputation, along with their defense and supporting facts. They have endured much at the hands of Church authorities and others, yet bore it all patiently and gracefully for years. They are known as the Heralds of the Gospel.

The struggle to judge rightly extends to the consideration of the saints. Where one views sainthood as unattainable, another thinks it is okay to attempt to bring the saints down to their own level. Both communicate a level of despair the individuals may be unaware of; the latter greater than the former. While the saints were just like you and I, they were also not regular. Even if they had quirks, those quirks were probably not evil, because in them you have to look at the intent of their hearts, which only God is able to see. And even if they sinned, they definitely repented. Repentance is a gift from God and it is not easy for everyone to receive it, although we might tend to think it is because it feels so a lot of times. The ego is such a terrible thing and it can get in the way of repentance.

I suppose the private lives of the saints speak the loudest when they have passed on from this world, and the righteous will live forever. So, I agree wholeheartedly that the intent of the heart of a man should be taken into account when passing judgement. In fact, I believe seeking clarity should go first before making a judgement. Although, it is not always easy. The intent matters. Where one would speak or write using quotes from people, and does so from a place of pride to show knowledge, another does so because of a belief that the quote is already perfect and nothing else needs to be added. In another instance, another kneels to receive communion out of an obligation they feel to God, while another does so to look pious. Another wears a scarf to church because it is a cultural thing and it seems like a good thing to do, and another does the same to look pious. It is better to not pass judgement at all, because there is a tendency to be wrong and fall short in the same manner as well, though not always easy. Other times, there are matters that judge themselves.

Discernment also extends to the contemplation of the gravity of sins. It does not seem equal to me to compare the silence of someone in the company of one or two strangers, whom they have perceived to have rejected their Christian upbringing, with the silence of a teacher or a person of influence who remains silent before a multitude, where they should speak. Though both may be wrong depending on how one reads hearts. The unknown individual may yet have another chance to speak to those strangers at a moment when they are more open to listening, receiving the words at the level where they are at. By contrast, it may be far more difficult to reach again, a multitude, who have encountered media shared in an indefinite way, and have been led astray by it. I am learning that wisdom lies in discerning the right time and place to speak, and in seizing the opening when it presents itself, accompanied by prayer. Discernment is not easy.

I will not condemn a repentant person. Neither will I condemn a sinner. Yet, I will speak to the spirit driving a man’s actions, so that in speaking, the Holy Spirit may bring them to repentance. For as long as breath remains in their lungs, God still desires their repentance.

It is also discernment to know that if from the time of St. Augustine it was considered wise to use a certain kind of language and that language endured for about 1,600 years, it remains wise in our time to use the same language. And if the Saints, through the centuries, continued to affirm this language, yet it is suddenly no longer accepted today, it could very well be that the people have grown proud and are bellyfull. I say this only because Wisdom is not only unchanging, “Wisdom is unfading”.

I recall the first time I went through “True Devotion to Mary” by St. Louis Marie de Montfort, during my consecration course to Jesus through Mary. I, in the fullness of my pride, could not take in the words he used, because I saw them as demeaning. They came across to me as harsh and excessive. The second time I read it, a year later upon renewing my consecration, none of my previous objections were evident, because a healing had taken place by God’s grace, even without me realising, and I could finally take in more goodness and wisdom from God.

Being that I have completely accepted the worldview that is from the bible, I have discerned that there are only two worldviews; simplistic and foolish to the wisdom of the world. There is the worldview that is rooted in God and is good, and there is the worldview that is rooted in the world and which is evil. They are distinct from each other even if people play grays. The heart of everything spells out the truth and being human we may fall short in our discernment of what is good and what is evil.

I shall recount what I remember of my worldview during the period of time that I did not believe in God. Keep in mind, this is my memory and I may be mistaken in certain details. In those days, I believed myself to be smarter than everyone else. Yet the worldview I held was evil, foolish and base. I regarded God as an abstract idea, present in the grass or in beauty scattered throughout creation, but not as a God Who draws near and dwells with us. I recall having a thought and seeing the thought as a tweet afterwards and so I believed everyone was in a simulation and we were all being programmed to be a hive mind, to believe the same thing, and quite possibly being watched by someone or something or something like that. I also thought it is possible there is some being out there powerless to stop horrible things from happening but watching it all play out. To me, there was no right or wrong, no good or bad. Still, I conceded that such categories were necessary for order, so that people would not destroy each other, faster than was going on. I thought I was free, as though scales had fallen from my eyes and I could finally see things clearly for the first time, and I felt intensely free. It is the reason I do not trust feelings. I believed I had been conditioned from childhood to believe certain things as right and certain things as wrong. My reasoning against killing in a general way, was simply that life belonged to the individual, without ever asking why that made life itself precious. In that world view, I mostly did not feel the pain of others, but felt mine deeply. And even in my sorrow for the world, it was a perverse kind of selfishness lacking true compassion. Some may say that I believed in a god since I worshipped myself or science, but I maintain that I did not believe in God. For if this is the yardstick of measuring whether someone believes in God or in a god, then a lot of Christians should be labelled as idolaters.

How could one so base abandon such a worldview and embrace one so utterly contrary, if not by the power of God?

“For to know God is complete righteousness, and to know God’s power is the root of immortality.”

Indeed, it was a reckoning with God’s power and God’s infiniteness, and as well my recognition of my littleness, by the Grace of God, through the scriptures, that I was able to come back from such evil.

Though we possess infinite freedom to say and do as we please, it is better to refrain from sharing a personal opinion when it stands against the gospel, because it can rightly make one wonder about the heart of the speaker. Once a person has been led astray by another’s words, it is only prudent to recalibrate and listen with caution when that same voice speaks again. Yet caution does not mean love has diminished. On the contrary, it is a deeper lesson in how to love well: to practice patience and silence when the moment calls for it, and to reject evil when it is presented as good that should be accepted. Love is not an uncritical acceptance of someone’s words since scripture commands us to test all spirits to see whether they are of God and warns us to not believe all spirits. It is not wrong to have a healthy distrust of people and oneself. This way, truth is preserved, love is purified, and true compassion echoes throughout eternity.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used as an editing tool.

Have a listen!

Ave Maria, Gratia Plena

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone. Remember to pray the Rosary!

It’s been a long time since my last post. These days, I feel as though I’m moving between keeping my head above water, walking on solid ground and living in Heaven. I believe there is a saint who said one must walk on earth and live in Heaven. I understand subtly without grasping the full depth of what he meant.

Recently, I have considered the idea of detaching from what is good. Initially, it annoyed me to hear of this spoken, because to my thinking, I wondered why anyone should desire a dysfunction. However, I’ve come to think that one must detach from all things evil, sinful and worldly, and in addition all things good because it must be the only way to reach a pure love of God.

Some overstate the importance of understanding over the power of love. However, give me an army of 10 men who truly have pure love of God, or no…give me less with such pure love, over 300 men who do not have pure love and have only supposed understanding.

Love led me to Mary and God willing, Love will keep me there.

For a while, I misunderstood the dogma of the “Immaculate Conception” even extending into a period of time past my reversion to the Catholic Faith which happened about 3 years ago. I thought the Immaculate Conception referred to Conception of Jesus. I learnt afterwards that it was about Mary. My brother who is more knowledgeable than me about the intellectual aspect of the faith did not know this as well, to my surprise, until I told him around last Christmas with so much joy. I don’t think anyone would think that it is inappropriate to speak of the term “Immaculate Conception” because it could potentially cause confusion. This is because it is a Dogma of the Church given through the teaching office of the Church and we are obedient to the Church. I believe I only learnt about the other 3 dogmas coincidentally recently (God’s providence) due to the recent bout of confusion that swept through the Church, although I had said them for a while now as part of a Marian devotion, “The Little Crown of the Blessed Virgin Mary”.

I listened to a priest, who to me seemed to boast to be an expert in Mariology, say the average Catholic cannot recite the creed if asked to do so and yet lacking knowledge, they gave objections to the doctrinal note released by the church. His words did not inspire confidence in me.

I could not help but wonder about the other times the term “co-redemptrix” has been used by the Church. My research brought me to the Papal encyclical written by St. Pius X (Pope, canonized saint) Ad Diem Illum Laetissimum No.12, which evokes the underlying meaning of co-redemptrix (click on the link for the full text): “…And from this community of will and suffering between Christ and Mary she merited to become most worthily the Reparatrix of the lost world (Eadmeri Mon. De Excellentia Virg. Mariae, c. 9) and Dispensatrix of all the gifts that Our Savior purchased for us by His Death and by His Blood.”

I think to myself, if the term “co-redemptrix” is never appropriate to use, what is to be said about the title of Mary as the Reparatrix of the lost world, or the dispensatrix of all the gifts that Our Saviour purchased for us by His Death and by His Blood, taken from an encyclical that comes from the authentic Magisterium of the Church.

I also came across a quote of St. Augustine referenced in the Book by St. Bonaventure titled, “Mirror of the Blessed Virgin Mary” which states: “O truly blessed humility of Mary, who brought forth the Lord to men, gave life to mortals, renewed the heavens, purified the world, opened paradise, and delivered the souls of men from hell.”. This kind of language indicates a theological view where Mary’s role is a necessary, though subordinate complement to Christ’s unique redemptive work. This is the way St. Louis Marie de Montfort describes it in “True Devotion to Mary”: “Secondly, we must conclude that, being necessary to God by a necessity which is called “hypothetical”, (that is, because God so willed it), the Blessed Virgin is all the more necessary for men to attain their final end. Consequently we must not place devotion to her on the same level as devotion to the other saints as if it were merely something optional.“.

A YouTuber claimed that during the time of the saints, it may have worked well to use co-redemptrix but it is not the right language now. I could not help but feel uneasy about that explanation because Wisdom is unchanging. During my research, I learnt that St. Pope John Paul II used the term “co-redemptriix” at least 7 times, and St. Maximillian Kolbe as well.

To be honest, that explanation from the YouTuber felt to me like the same spirit that led a popular Catholic man to say he didn’t like to say “sin” when he preached the gospel, as though it did not carry the power to convict people of their sins, as though it is by his power people reach conviction for their sins and not through The Holy Spirit; him being only a subordinate and The Holy Spirit reigning supreme over all, to the Glory of God. It is the same spirit that declared not liking the description used in the bible: “the woman caught in the act of adultery”, citing how it labelled the woman, as though it did not proclaim the Glory and Mercy of God to use that description, and still the same spirit that moved a priest to change the word the priest says at Mass from “sin” to “fault” and finally, a similar spirit that filthily craves to take the focus from the sacrifice of the Mass, when all congregation had knelt down, right after the “Sanctus”, and a priest urged the congregation to close their eyes to think of the poor and pray for the poor in an extended speech before moving on to the words of consecration; never mind this could have been done at the start of mass, during the “Prayer of the Faithful” or even after the final blessing.

I listened to another famous Youtuber who seemed to be in support of the writing, but I am not inclined to give his words on Marian devotion much credence since he has had on his show, a man who said Mary was just like everybody else before her fiat, and he did not dispute it. This video in question stayed on his channel years after the fact for me to able to see it, by God’s grace. I felt clarity when I heard Two (2) priests mention it is not binding under pain of sin to not follow the instruction of the doctrinal note, one of them explaining that the doctrinal note cautions that such terms can be unhelpful if used in a way that causes confusion or seems to reduce Christ’s unique role as Redeemer. If, however, these titles are understood and explained correctly — emphasizing Mary’s participation with Christ (never equal to Him) — then their use remains completely legitimate. The other priest (Fr. Ripperger) explained statements made in the note were inaccurate because it did not communicate an understanding of Primary Cause (God) and secondary cause (all created things), and exhorted Catholics to follow the example of the saints.

To be honest, listening to the note read out loud or even reading it where it says, “Given the necessity of explaining Mary’s subordinate role to Christ in the work of Redemption, it is always inappropriate to use the title “Co-redemptrix” to define Mary’s cooperation.”, my logical conclusion was that it is never legitimate to use, but Fr. Chris Alar explained that it is, if it is not used in a way that it causes confusion. I don’t use the term “co-redemptrix” myself in devotion, although I use terms like “Mary Immaculate, Mediatrix of all graces” and “Our Mediatrix with You” when I pray the Catena Legionis, a century old prayer sanctioned by the Catholic Church as an official prayer of the Legion of Mary, a worldwide lay apostolic organization that has received official approval from the Holy See.

I think St. Louis Marie de Montfort in his book, “True Devotion to Mary”, did a good job of upholding the phrase “Slave of Mary” without diminishing it. He’d mentioned he did not condemn the use of the term, “Slave of Mary”, as He mentions he himself uses it, but affirms that it is better to speak of “slavery of Jesus in Mary” and to call oneself “slave of Jesus” rather than “slave of Mary” to avoid giving any pretext for criticism. So that in that way, the devotion is named after its ultimate end which is Jesus, rather than after the way and the means to arrive there, which is Mary. I believe it is hard to confuse the intent and the heart behind this.

To those who hate the Church, Jesus and Mary, they sensed “less love” was given to Mary, and they rejoiced foolishly. To those who love the Church, Jesus and Mary, they sensed the same, most (including myself) without understanding much but loving much, and they felt uneasy; something akin to the feeling of the enemies of the Church encroaching. To those who sense nothing, it is all the same.

I will leave you with a devotion I have prayed for a while now almost daily, known as the “Catena Legionis”. I was given pamphlets for this prayer more than once, by a very strong old woman and urged to pray for the Legion of Mary by saying the prayer daily. I once saw that old woman use her feet to lift up the heavy kneeler of the Church to put it away, and she did it so powerfully that I was left shocked because I know how heavy that kneeler is and it is not easy for me to raise it up with my feet, yet the old woman who appears frail seems to be the strongest of us all. I credit it to her frequent reception of the Holy Eucharist at Mass, her praying the Rosary (which she also would have urged me to pray if I had told her I didn’t pray it), and this devotion I have shared below. The Catena Legionis (Latin for “Chain of the Legion”) is a daily prayer for members of the Legion of Mary, a Catholic organization founded in 1921.

THE CATENA LEGIONIS

Antiphon. Who is she that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array?

(Make the Sign of the Cross)

v. My soul glorifies the Lord.*

R. My spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour.

v. He looks on His servant in her lowliness;* henceforth all ages will call me blessed.

R. The Almighty works marvels for me.* Holy His name!

v. His mercy is from age to age,* on those who fear Him.

R. He puts forth His arm in strength* and scatters the proud-hearted.

v. He casts the mighty from their thrones* and raises the lowly.

R. He fills the starving with good things,* sends the rich away empty.

v. He protects Israel His servant,* remembering His mercy,

R. The mercy promised to our fathers,* to Abraham and his sons for ever.

v. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.

R. As it was in the beginning is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

Antiphon. Who is she that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array?

v. O Mary, conceived without sin.

R. Pray for us who have recourse to you.

Let us pray.

O Lord Jesus Christ, our Mediator with the Father, Who has been pleased to appoint the Most Blessed Virgin, Your mother, to be our mother also, and our mediatrix with You, mercifully grant that whoever comes to You seeking Your favours may rejoice to receive all of them through her. Amen.

CONCLUDING PRAYERS

Make the Sign of the Cross) In the name of The Father, and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit. Amen..

We fly to your patronage, O holy Mother of God; despise not our prayers in our necessities, but ever deliver us from all dangers, O glorious and blessed Virgin.

v. Mary Immaculate, Mediatrix of all Graces (or Invocation appropriate to Praesidium)

R. Pray for us.

v. Sts. Michael, Gabriel and Raphael

R. Pray for us.

v. All you heavenly Powers, Mary’s Legion of Angels

R. Pray for us.

v. St. John the Baptist

R. Pray for us.

v. Saints Peter and Paul

R. Pray for us.

Confer, O Lord, on us, who serve beneath the standard of Mary, that fullness of faith in You and trust in her, to which it is given to conquer the world. Grant us a lively faith, animated by charity, which will enable us to perform all our actions from the motive of pure love of You, and ever to see You and serve You in our neighbour; a faith, firm and immovable as a rock, through which we shall rest tranquil and steadfast amid the crosses, toils and disappointments of life; a courageous faith which will inspire us to undertake and carry out without hesitation great things for Your glory and for the salvation of souls; a faith which will be our Legion’s Pillar of Fire – to lead us forth united – to kindle everywhere the fires of divine love – to enlighten those who are in darkness and in the shadow of death – to inflame those who are lukewarm – to bring back life to those who are dead in sin; and which will guide our own feet in the way of peace; so that – the battle of life over – our Legion may reassemble, without the loss of any one, in the kingdom of Your love and glory. Amen.

May the souls of our departed legionaries and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

(Make the Sign of the Cross) In the name of The Father, and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit. Amen.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Ave Maria!

To Jesus Through Mary—A Personal Reflection

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

I recently realized that I may not have been entirely clear about the sources of the information I’ve shared regarding devotion to Mary and the path to Jesus through her. I had thought I was, but upon reflection, I see that I could have been more precise.

My last post, ‘We are sons, not slaves,’ was inspired by two books—the Bible and True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis Marie de Montfort—as well as the teachings of the Heralds of the Gospel, a Catholic International Association of Pontifical Right that has learned from both teachers and St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s writings.

At times, I reflect on the fact that I do not have a spiritual director and have expressed this to Mary, and claimed her as my own. Yet, I also think it is fair to consider the saints as my teachers, particularly St. Louis Marie de Montfort in this case. I do not possess half of his devotion or love for Mary—and if I claimed to be close to half, that would be generous—but his words resonate with me as though they were written about my life. His prayer to Jesus feels as if I could have spoken those very words myself: “Ah, would that I could proclaim throughout the whole world the mercy that Thou hast shown to me! Would that everyone might know I should be already damned, were it not for Mary! Would that I might offer worthy thanksgiving for so great a blessing! Mary is in me. Oh, what a treasure! Oh, what a consolation! And shall I not be entirely hers?”.

I have used strong words to describe Jesus’ complete giving of Himself to Mary, stating that He wrapped Himself in her flesh. I am unsure where I first encountered this phrase. Initially, I thought it came from St. Louis Marie de Montfort, but now I am uncertain. Perhaps it arose from the saint’s reflection on a holy person—also a slave of Mary like Jesus—who was described as being wrapped up in her. Regardless, the intention expressed by those words is that Jesus is the seed of Mary from her flesh, and that in her 2 natures were united Divinity and Humanity, at the incarnation. It reveals the profound intimacy of the incarnation. I don’t believe my expression was literal but rather an expression of a mystery—one the heart understands if it is open. However, who could truly claim full understanding of the mystery of the Incarnation or how it came to be? If in truth, even a minute aspect of it meant Jesus walked among us with flesh wrapped around His divinity, I wonder if such simplicity could be dismissed if echoed by Jesus on the last day. Additionally, Mary’s womb is the sacred dwelling place where Heaven and earth met in the Incarnation, where God and man remain united in Christ, and where souls continue to be formed in holiness, grow mature in enlightenment, in experience and in wisdom, and in a short time reach the fullness of the age of Christ.

In St. Louis Marie de Montfort’s words: the principal mystery celebrated and honoured in the true devotion to Mary is the mystery of the Incarnation where we find Jesus only in Mary, having become incarnate in her womb, it is appropriate for us to call the devotion, “slavery of Jesus in Mary”, of Jesus dwelling enthroned in Mary, according to the beautiful prayer, recited by so many great souls, “O Jesus living in Mary”.

He further explains that these expressions show more clearly the intimate union existing between Jesus and Mary. He writes: “So closely are they united that one is wholly the other. Jesus is all in Mary and Mary is all in Jesus. Or rather, it is no longer she who lives, but Jesus alone who lives in her. It would be easier to separate light from the sun than Mary from Jesus. So united are they that our Lord may be called, “Jesus of Mary”, and His Mother “Mary of Jesus”“.

Here are his brief remarks on the incarnation:

  • The Incarnation is the first mystery of Jesus Christ; it is the most hidden; and it is the most exalted and the least known.
  • It was in this mystery that Jesus, in the womb of Mary and with her co-operation, chose all the elect. For this reason the saints called her womb, the throne-room of God’s mysteries. It was in this mystery that Jesus anticipated all subsequent mysteries of His life by His willing acceptance of them. Consequently, this mystery is a summary of all His mysteries since it contains the intention and the grace of them all.
  • Lastly, this mystery is the seat of the mercy, the liberality, and the glory of God. It is the seat of His mercy for us, since we can approach and speak to Jesus through Mary. We need her intervention to see or speak to him. Here, ever responsive to the prayer of His Mother, Jesus unfailingly grants grace and mercy to all poor sinners. “Let us come boldly before the throne of grace”.
  • It is the seat of liberality for Mary, because while the new Adam dwelt in this truly earthly paradise God performed there so many hidden marvels beyond the understanding of men and angels. For this reason, the saints call Mary “the magnificence of God”, as if God showed His magnificence only in Mary.
  • It is the seat of glory for His Father, because it was in Mary that Jesus perfectly atoned to His Father on behalf of mankind. It was here that He perfectly restored the glory that sin had taken from His Father. It was here again that our Lord, by the sacrifice of Himself and of His will, gave more glory to God than He would have given had He offered all the sacrifices of the Old Law. Finally, in Mary He gave His Father infinite glory, such as His Father had never received from man.

I would not have esteemed his words so highly had he not spoken of Mary with such profound love and devotion. Nor would I have valued them had he not been a canonized saint, speaking alongside other canonized saints who shared the same devotion. His words, which I already held in high regard, carried even greater weight when I learned that Pope St. John Paul II himself esteemed them. More recently, my appreciation deepened as I renewed my consecration to Jesus through Mary last month. During the 33-day period, I came to see how his writings resonate profoundly with my own life—as though I were reading the truth of my own life. It would be helpful to exercise discernment when listening to perspectives contrary to the words in this book. Listen with discernment, always seeking to uphold and honor Mary and Jesus—with prayer for yourself, for those speaking, and for God’s mercy. Should you choose to respond, do so with all the angelic kindness and deep humility of Mary—or most perfectly, with all of her virtues.

It can be confusing to sort through these perspectives. I once heard a very Catholic man confidently state that Mary was just like everyone else before she gave her Fiat: “I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word”. His brilliance on other matters captivated me, so I didn’t immediately reject his claim that night. Yet, I didn’t accept it either. Whether it lingered in my mind out of unease or temptation—or perhaps both—I’m unsure, as time has passed. But the next morning, as I prayed the Rosary, his words resurfaced, and deep within, I felt a conviction that his words did not align with truth.

I acknowledge that Mary is human like everyone else and that doesn’t change at the point of her Fiat, so I can see that this is not the point being made. The only change in state that I can see is that she went from being the predestined Mother of God to Mother of God, and yet who else was prepared for it by God. Given this, would it be fitting to consider Mary just like everyone else until she gave her Fiat—especially in light of the dogma of the Immaculate Conception? After all, the angel Gabriel’s greeting at the Annunciation affirms her unique grace: ‘Hail, full of grace’.

For a long time, I wondered where the phrase “full of grace” in the Hail Mary originated, since some Bible translations render Luke 1:28 as “Hail, O highly favored one”. By God’s grace—and through Mary’s quiet ordering of my life—I stumbled upon an insightful explanation in a Q&A on Catholic.com which illuminated the richness of the original Greek.

The answer I found was that meaning can sometimes be lost in translation. I’ve even experienced this with my own Igbo name, Amarachukwu. At one time, my mom explained that it meant more than the Grace of God. It apparently carries a deeper blend of grace, mercy, and goodness (or so), in its meaning—particularly directed toward her and me—which is difficult to fully express in a single English word. Yet, if asked, I will say it means Grace of God, as that is the common understanding. According to the writer of the post, the same challenge applies to the translation “full of grace”. The Greek phrase pleres charitos is what translates literally to “full of grace” and it appears in reference to Jesus (John 1:14) and St. Stephen (Acts 6:8), with its meaning shaped by context, such that we can infer that anyone who has recently been baptized or received the sacrament of confession is pleres charitos. In Luke 1:28, however, the angel uses kecharitomene, derived from charitoo (meaning “to give grace”). This verb, kecharitomene, is in the perfect passive participle tense (which I learned is more accurate than ‘past perfect’), signifying that the action of grace was to the fullest, in the past and with enduring effects. The verb is used as a title. Gabriel does not say “Hail Mary, you are kecharitomene” but rather “Hail kecharitomene” 

I am not a theologian but to my mind the greeting could be rendered as ‘Hail, one who has been graced to the fullest and enduringly, the Lord is with you’ or perhaps colloquially as “Hello, Your Royal Highness, Immaculate, the Lord is with you”. Kecharitomene appears to be used within the context of Angel Gabriel’s greeting as her name, revealing her identity as the Immaculate one, and revealing an action of grace given in a complete and enduring way, implying that purity, holiness and sinlessness is intrinsic to her very being rather than something temporary. Since sin and grace oppose each other, could one who has been graced in a complete and enduring way bear even the slightest stain of sin?

It begs the question: when was her identity given to her by God, and when was the spiritual action completed? To explore possibilities, we can look at how God has worked with His prophets throughout Scripture, preparing them uniquely—sometimes even before they were in their mother’s womb.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”  

“For he will be great before the Lord, and he shall drink no wine nor strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.” 

God completely prepares the ones He calls to fulfill their mission. Throughout the Old Testament, we find prophecies and typological connections that foreshadow Mary’s role—the New Eve who will crush the serpent’s head (‘I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; (s)he/they shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his/her/their heel’). While this verse carries multiple meanings, my focus is on one at this time. As well, the Ark of the Covenant and other symbols—which I cannot fully expand on here—suggest that she was predestined to be the Mother of God (taking into consideration her freedom to surrender her will completely to God, where the first Eve did not).

If we believe that God never changes and He doesn’t, it follows that He would act in the same way with her, preparing her to be a worthy dwelling place for God Himself. Considering how profoundly God prepared His prophets, would it not be fitting that His preparation of the one entrusted with forming and shaping Jesus would be even greater—since Jesus, being perfectly obedient to her as a good Son, honors her to fulfill the commandment?

Catholic dogma holds that Mary was preserved from original sin from the first moment of her conception through the merits of Jesus. While this might seem difficult to grasp, it is entirely possible—especially considering that at the Last Supper, when Jesus referred to the bread as ‘His body that is given for us’ and the wine as ‘His blood that is poured out for us,’ He spoke of His sacrifice as if it were already accomplished in intention and grace. In doing so, He applied the merits of His sacrifice to a time before it had fully unfolded for us—extending this grace prior to His bodily presence in the moment of His sacrifice. To those who have faith, it is believable that His sacrifice and its merits are not bound by time. Fitting, since He is God eternal. This makes me pause, especially when I consider that He gave thanks to the Father for it, or that He could still pray afterwards: ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible to thee; remove this cup from me; yet not what I will, but what thou wilt’. He could still hope, and it remained possible to pass from Him, even though the mystery of His sacrifice was already completed and accepted by Him—unfolding for us yet still awaiting His physical entry into the moment of His sacrifice. So, it is okay to have hope, even when a poor outcome seems inevitable. Yet, there is a right way to hope—a hope rooted in trust, surrender to God’s will, and profound acceptance of whatever He permits. I could not sufficiently penetrate the infinite depth of this, being finite myself. However, in all things, it is always good to give thanks to God.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Throughout this process, I prayed to Jesus through Mary for insight, renewing my consecration with the words inspired from True Devotion to Mary: ‘I renounce myself completely, and I give myself entirely to you, Mom’. To explain briefly, to give oneself entirely to Mary, is to give oneself entirely to Jesus, since she belongs entirely to Him. There is a need to renounce our evil dispositions and corrupt nature, since our perception of our good intentions is colored by self-love. While we can always go directly to Jesus, going through Mary to Jesus is a reliable way, direct and sure, since Mary purifies your intentions, calls down the mercy of God on you and shapes you and your intentions to His liking.

In addition, I used Copilot as a thought partner and writing assistant to refine my ideas, improve readability, and explore deeper connections.

A song you could listen to!

Marriage

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well and remembering to pray the rosary.

Recently, I’ve taken some time to learn more about the concept of marriage as understood by the Catholic Church, so as to guide me. I vaguely recall listening to a priest on a podcast, a while ago, where he addressed a question about attending a wedding that would not take place in a Catholic Church (if I remember correctly). His response was, “No, a catholic should not attend that wedding”. This discussion stood out to me, and I stored it away in my mind.

I also remember a debate from when I was much younger about whether Catholics who completed the Nigerian traditional marriage were considered already married. Someone argued that they should be, since the traditional marriage existed long before Christianity arrived. I can’t recall my exact viewpoint during that conversation—it might have been in favor of the “White” wedding (Catholic wedding), against it, or simply confused by the complexity of the topic. At the time, I hadn’t received sufficient catechesis to be fully educated on the matter.

More recently, about a year or two ago, I had an awkward conversation with someone who had completed a “traditional Nigerian marriage”. During the discussion, I explained that, according to the Church, the individual wasn’t truly married yet and encouraged them to avoid sin before the Catholic marriage was finalized. Looking back, I realize that I must have understood that a traditional marriage wasn’t considered valid at all. However, I wasn’t entirely clear on all the reasons why. I only knew it was not and that it was my responsibility to offer advice, regardless of whether it was accepted.

Recently, despite my initial reluctance, I’ve delved into Canon Law to gain clarity. In addition to studying the law, I’ve spent time watching numerous videos, reading Catholic materials, and engaging in conversations about this topic. Although I often feel unsure and exhausted, I’ve tried my best to understand. This journey has led me to much greater clarity than I ever had before—and ultimately, it has guided me toward conversion.

First of all, baptized Catholics are governed by Canon law. This might not be widely understood by many Catholics, and I’ll admit, it was something I personally struggled to make sense of. When I think of “government,” I often associate it with countries. The idea of being governed by Canon law felt strange at first. However, upon reflection, it makes sense: I am a citizen of Heaven and the government of Heaven has a physical/visible representative here on Earth—the Church. Any discomfort or unease I feel or have felt about this authority likely stems from my own struggles with submitting to authority, not from the authority itself being invalid.

Canon law provides a framework rooted in divine law and tradition, and disobedience to it is considered immoral or sinful. While I’m not the person to determine the severity of sin for anyone (frankly struggle even for myself), I encourage studying more about the nature of sin and the three key elements that distinguish venial sins from mortal ones: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent.

As such, with regards to marriage, the Church governs the marriages of Catholics. For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament that requires adherence to Canon law for both validity and sacramentality. Canon law lays out clear guidelines regarding the sacrament of marriage, and its validity depends on meeting specific requirements, i.e. a celebration of marriage according to canonical form, including:

  • Celebration of the marriage in the presence of an authorized Catholic cleric and at least two witnesses, typically in a Catholic church, unless a dispensation is granted.
  • Celebration of the marriage according to liturgical practices established by the Church.

If a Catholic marries outside of canonical form—such as through a civil ceremony or in a non-Catholic setting without proper permissions—the marriage is considered invalid unless a bishop grants a dispensation.

In addition, when a Catholic and a non-Catholic wish to marry, they must meet the requirements set out in canon law (including the permission of the local ordinary). Without this dispensation, the marriage is deemed invalid and cannot impart sacramental grace, even if one or both parties are baptized.

Baptism is essential for sacramentality, but it’s not the only requirement. Other necessary elements include the intention to remain faithful, openness to procreation, freedom/capacity to marry, free consent, and adherence to the proper form of marriage—including the presence of an authorized cleric and witnesses.

Additionally, Canon law requires a Catholic who was previously married to obtain an annulment of their prior marriage before entering into a new one, even if the previous marriage was civil and deemed invalid. This ensures the sacramental integrity of the new marriage.

Invalid marriages can be healed by the Catholic Church, as appropriate for each case in order to bring the marriage into conformity with Church teaching and allow it to be recognized as valid. It highlights the pastoral care of the Church and its desire to guide the faithful back into good standing with the Church and God, all while considering the unique needs of each case.

It’s important to note that these guidelines apply specifically to members of the Catholic Church and doesn’t extend to non-Catholics. If you’re interested, I recommend exploring Canon law further for more information.

From my brief investigation, I have learned that attending an invalid marriage can be considered immoral, depending on the circumstances. Some adopt a firm stance, refusing to attend any invalid marriages, while others take a more flexible approach, evaluating each situation on a case-by-case basis—for example, when a marriage takes place outside the Catholic Church without a bishop’s dispensation. When it comes to unions that could involve adultery, I’ve encountered advice urging extreme caution. One perspective suggested that the morality of attending such a marriage might only become clear at the final judgment—a thought that sent a literal chill through me. However, there is a clear and consistent teaching to take a firm and resolute stand against attending same-sex marriages.

When a marriage is invalid, any immoral actions within such a union are sinful. There is also the argument that the marriage itself is immoral because it involves a violation of Canon law. This raises questions for me, particularly about the stance of the Nigerian Catholic Church. I wonder why traditional marriages often take place before Catholic church marriages if they are recognized as immoral. Is there some sort of dispensation granted in these cases? This has been a source of confusion for me, as well as for others who see no issue with civil or traditional marriages occurring before the Catholic wedding as a result of this. It is entirely possible that such practices are sinful yet have become normalized to the extent that it is now seen as good, and that is a difficult reality for me to fully grasp.

All of this feels too complex for my simple mind. My intuition is to avoid these situations altogether—or at least consider those that have the potential to become licit, where there is a clear intention to complete a Catholic marriage afterward (with a set date and plans in place). However, I recognize that I might be influenced in allowing this small exception by my background and the advice from priests I’ve come across. Is it good? I have different thoughts, and I can’t say for certain. Scandal doesn’t just affect those directly involved; its repercussions can ripple through generations. This is where my mind lingers. When I consider that, I believe avoidance is often the wisest choice, as you can never truly know if your intended good might come at a hidden cost. Ultimately, my priority is to put God first.

I don’t know enough to speak in depth about customary marriages (nigerian traditional marriage) or how the Catholic Church in Nigeria provides pre-marital counselling regarding the navigation of traditional and Catholic marriage. Typically, the traditional marriage is completed first to satisfy the cultural practice of giving a child away, and all weddings (traditional, civil, church) are often planned together and usually take place within a short time (hours, day(s) or month(s)) of each other. From what I’ve read briefly, customary marriages are legally binding under Nigerian law. I’m also aware that some Catholics consider customary marriages to be valid. Unfortunately, Nigerian Catholics can easily fall into sin if they are misled, poorly taught, or influenced negatively by culture or scandal. This is why, when I was much younger, I was in a discussion with fellow Catholics about whether customary marriage alone is sufficient. Personally, I am starting to think the traditional marriage may not be necessary for me but we’ll see since culture is beautiful to have in one’s life but never at the expense of faith and morals.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to any Catholic that I wholeheartedly believe in the truths revealed by the Catholic Church in Canon law and the precepts of the Church, or that as a result, I decide to live my life through the lens of the truths revealed by the Catholic Church, to the best of my ability and I do not intend to reject any truths revealed by the Catholic church, all by the grace of God and the moulding hands of Mother Mary. I can understand a non-Catholic disagreeing with me. However, when the disagreement comes from a fellow Catholic, it fills me with a sense of relational dissonance, loneliness, exhaustion, uncertainty, and a deep longing for God.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used to refine this write up and also garner some information.

A lovely song to listen to!

A Happy Death

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

Have you ever wondered what a happy death is? I did at the start of my reversion to the Catholic faith, since I prayed the Rosary regularly; the intention of the 4th Glorious Mystery (The Assumption of Mother Mary into Heaven) being a “Happy Death”, and presently, it is regularly on my mind.

I suppose at the start of my reversion, I might have imagined a happy death to mean a good death. I am trying to recall what conclusion I came to at the start. What is a good death? Is it to live comfortable, amassing wealth, love, fame, and then to die, and to cease to exist? The Catholic belief is that those who die in God’s grace, go to Heaven eventually, after a purification process. The Word of God says, “Nothing unclean will see God.”. So, is it possible to go straight to Heaven? One would have to be completely purified at the moment of death for them to go to Heaven straight away and how many can be so confident, without being foolish, that at the moment of their death, they have renounced all attachments and cling solely to God. I think I have heard it spoken of that it is also a Catholic belief that you can go straight to heaven after you die. Blessed Carlo Acutis spoke of going straight to Heaven. I think St. Therese of the Child Jesus did as well. St. Therese is a gem amongst gems. Then, there is St. Cecilia, who I learnt of recently and I was so in awe of. I think she went straight to heaven. She is so pure and beautiful. When I think of the saints, I think of how I am nothing like them.

I think I heard it said a “Happy Death” is to die in God’s grace and not about living a good life and then dying, by man’s standards. I suppose I might have imagined dying in my sleep, free of troubles and illness, when I considered a “good death”. I know of someone who prayed to die free of illness or long illness. I do not know if she died that way. I came to a place of no fear about death, and even thought recently that I could be dying while I slept one night. I felt myself floating upwards in that dream and thought, “Am I dying?”. I resigned myself to it and prayed, “Father, welcome me into your arms”. Then, I remembered I ought to pray for the forgiveness of my sins, which I did. Immediately, I prayed a prayer of contrition, it felt like my soul was slammed back into my body. I don’t know if the following happened right after, but while my eyes were still closed, an image of a smiling woman carrying a baby took shape in my head. It was like a drawing coming to completion. I remember clearly that at least either the woman or the child had chubby cheeks, possibly both did. And their youth, beauty, and cuteness was so evident. I have never seen that drawing in real life. I thought it was Jesus and Mary as I watched. This happened the Sunday of the first week of October.

I have watched people say it is normal to regret not doing a lot of things before dying. I have also heard it said it is naive not to fear dying even a little bit. Additionally, I heard it said it is foolish to just want to die, without considering the need to receive final rites or viaticum, and that it is the way to have a “Good Death”, and perhaps there was talk of a battle that happens at the moment of death. This is my interpretation of the things spoken. Perhaps, I misunderstand these people. I have considered those lines of thinking and perhaps I am the most foolish of them all for not being encumbered by such ways of thinking.

I have concluded that those ways of thinking produce fear, and I lay all my fear and anxiety at the feet of Jesus, at the foot of His cross, begging Him to redeem it and redeem me to glory of His Name, for my salvation and the salvation of others.

While having final rites done for you is a good thing, do I think everyone who have died or will die without final rites do not have a fighting chance of going straight to heaven or that they have less of a chance? The battle is God’s after all. Do I think I have a fighting chance at any point in my life, apart from the abundance and unending nature of God’s grace and mercy and Mary’s intercession for me.

I imagine even if I stood before Him and I was accused of the most heinous crimes and they were all found to be true, He is justified in condemning me, because He is all good and all righteous and I will accept His righteous judgement as true, without forgetting as well another truth, that even though there is no good in me, the Mercy of God never ceases, and I would beg for mercy with all the confidence of a child that knows it is loved without measure. This is a prayer and hope of mine. And so, I pray frequently and earnestly for a “Happy Death”, knowing that I will never be surrounded by love on this earth to the magnitude that I would be when I get to Heaven. I also earnestly run to the Blessed Virgin, ever confident in her love and intercession for me. I pray that Jesus and Mary are there at the moment of my death to lead me to Heaven. Knowing me, I will get lost without them.

I imagine a “Happy life” will be dictated by union with God after death or should I say a “Happy death”. I will be able to say “I lived a full life”, when I am in Heaven, not before. I count my life as loss, if it means I am separated from God. A happy life to me, is a life which terminates in friendship with God, whether rich or poor, loved or hated, young or old. There is no reason to despise the rich or to despise the hated or consider them going to a worse place than you are when death comes. You do not see their heart or know their destination and you could be wrong about them. The same God who loves you, loves them too. You would be better off praying for them to get to Heaven, not forgetting to pray for yourself too. So, I think there is no right station to be assigned to in this life, only a right way of living; a life lived loving God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, with your whole might, a life lived loving your neighbour as yourself. Go and learn what that entails by seeking God through Jesus, while He still can be found, and do it in truth. He will draw near to you.

I think I should say that I am not encouraging sinning so that God’s mercy presses even greater upon you. It should be obvious but it isn’t always.

I will end this post with the prayer from the Divine Mercy Prayer that I encourage people to pray and meditate on: “Eternal God in Whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon me and increase Your mercy in me, that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will which is love and mercy itself”. You see, it really is in showing mercy or in the abundance of mercy that is in us, that we are able to hope that mercy will be shown to us. I just realized this.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song! Take a listen!

“Love”

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

I have been going through some things which I shan’t go into details about, but I will say this, I have learnt that a stranger will give love more readily than someone you consider close. Better to run to that stranger, than someone you think is close. But a stranger is a stranger for a reason, and I think as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt…hmmm, or is it disrespect. Better yet, run to God Who never fails.

I flinched when someone told me “I love you.”. It is hard to hear those words when you have been beat up emotionally by the person saying them. The words became easier to digest over time, to understand and to love. I cannot take credit for this transformation. Only God can do this.

I also prayed and hoped to God for something I desired. I moved forward courageously, when I had not a lot of courage, and prayed fervently for His peace. I thought I heard Him say to go forward but things did not work out as I had hoped. I wondered if indeed I had heard Him. Maybe not but also maybe I did. I do know looking back at it from a close distance, I can see that I have learnt some things from the experience so far. I have a richer understanding of what it means when God forgives you. It is written that God forgets your sins when you repent, and He forgives you. It all made sense to me amid a chaotic moment that was unrelated in matter to God’s revelation to me, but congruent in weight or depth of expression. The potent revelation I received made me realize in a striking manner which my soul is wont not to forget, that I will not crucify myself for my mistakes and God does not want me to do so either. “As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our sins from us”. “I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”

Oh, I felt ecstatic and hopeful when things did not go my way, and instead of grief, I thought to myself that this is all for the Glory of God, for my salvation and the salvation of others. Later on, I felt grief, but it did not overtake me like it had in the past. It made me long for the Heavenly Jerusalem just like Abraham and the saints did. I told Him that perhaps I did hear from Him and I will take this event as discipline. God disciplines those He loves, so He must love me so much. God loves me so much, this I know.

Afterwards, I considered the love between a husband and a wife. I have been trying to have a God-like view of what that dynamic is supposed to look like. I remembered the portion of the bible where St. Peter exhorts wives to treat their husbands in the manner Sarah did, when she obeyed Abraham and called him ‘lord’. I was critical of the word “lord”. What did that mean? It sounded reverent but also, I couldn’t help but think about subjugation combined with inflexibility, judgementality, hypocrisy and inconsideration. I know of a traditional, catholic man who was this way. I also know of a middle class protestant Christian who was very considerate to his wife, he treated his wife like an egg. I know of a rich, liberal man who was conservative when it soothed him, so his wife suffered because he did not help whether by contract or by self, and he did not encourage the best for his wife. Finally, I know of a traditional African man from a largely patriarchal society, who did not want His wife to cook, hired help for her and of his own volition, made arrangements for her to get a higher education. That African man would have been made perfect if in other ways, had he practiced the Christian faith, and yet he was quite generous in nature in a lot of ways and God blessed him. It is an irony that the faithless are able to love in ways that the supposed faithful do not.

My mind also wondered if the vision of calling your husband “lord” could be akin to the victorian era where some men were called lords and some women were called ladies. To them, it might have been a surface synergy of Class meets Class on a level of some sort, but to Christians, should it not be a synergy of joint heirs to the grace of life; one heir of the Kingdom of God to another?

To my mind, I have only one Lord. My mind moved on to another bible verse when I considered how my Lord displayed His Lordship, and in turn taught through his actions and words, how the disciples ought to treat one another. It was on the day He washed their feet, a day before they would desert Him, and one would betray Him. Knowing this, He washed their feet. At another time He said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

A lord by this definition is one who is a slave and servant of his wife, and pours himself out completely, without counting the cost, to the point of death. I looked up at the picture of the cross at the moment this came to mind while praying…or perhaps I was looking at it already without registering it. I should have been meditating on the “Crucifixion of Christ” because I was praying the seven sorrows, but my mind had been restless. In any case, the love I am considering is a life-giving love. It is so powerful that I stumbled over my thoughts. A healed woman or a woman open to healing would desire or crave to submit to that man and defend that man wherever she went to. She would sing his praises everywhere and she would be able to trust him.

And so, I asked God, “What man can love like that?” I wondered if it was even possible but then again, I remembered St. Therese of the Child Jesus. I had never gone through any writing of anyone before her, I don’t think, who burned with a desire for martyrdom. No one except Jesus. Although, as I write this now, a few do come to mind. I heard the account of St. Ignatius recently, how he begged the early Christians not to save him from being torn apart by lions. St. Paul as well….oh, and another saint who did evangelical work, but I do not recall his name. All things are possible through God’s grace.

If I am to consider this idea further as I write this, “We love because Christ first loved us.”. The man loves first through dying to himself and calls out a submissive expression of love from the woman. That is not to say that love must always be received for it to be given. On the contrary, I believe there is infinitely more merit in loving when you are not loved. I think one would be better off with a lot of prayer, placing greater scrutiny on the type of dynamic or relationship one chooses to have great proximity to for the rest of their life, and face (focus on) God whether or not they are blessed with this, and if not given, to die with joy and go to God. So, I am in fact considering a healed dynamic or one open to being healed when I write about a submissive expression of love which a man call out of a woman through loving in dying to self. On the other hand, the woman submits even though the man fails, and the man loves sacrificially even when the woman fails. It is easier said than done. That is why one should pray to God if in that situation, that God should help one love. God is always ready and willing to help you love. I know this because He always helped me whenever I asked for help to love….to be patient.

I do not understand the saying that one can love without respecting, perhaps this is why I have difficulty. I subscribe to the bible’s view of love and it is not bound or limited to gender. “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. Looking at this, I cannot believe respect can be separated from love, so, I do not know how one could prefer to be respected over being loved. I wonder though, if the respect some men claim they want is the stroking of their ego, the fanning of their pride. This is what I have observed from a small sample size. But then again, I am not married and some might think me bitter because of it. Ultimately, what do I know except what I have observed, and what is the point I am trying to make by writing all of this?

I suppose the point of this is to share my thoughts, so that in doing so, someone out there does not feel alone in this vastness that is the universe; the point of my blog really, lest I forget.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song you can listen to!

Temptation

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I hope you are doing well!

I write this knowing that for the past week or so I have been plagued in my body, in an on and off manner, with temptation, and it all started with a dream, in which I saw a form at the foot of the bed. I was so groggy in the dream that when I tried to pray the Hail Mary, I could only begin at “Holy Mary Mother of God”. It disappeared the moment I said that and then I woke up. I concluded it was not able to touch me because I have been wearing my rosary to sleep. I couldn’t say for sure what it was trying to do but what I could perceive was it was trying to unlock a memory, in order to tempt me to impurity, and as soon as I tried to understand my dream better, a memory came to the periphery of my mind which I pushed away but damage was already done. I prayed and then found a recitation of “Hail Mary” on Spotify which I allowed to play on my phone as I went back to sleep.

I have denied my eyes and ears of things that could possibly be sources of temptation, even before this day. I have denied my body as well, but I know my memory is not innocent and I know this is deserved.

I have been praying a lot of prayers. I get better while praying or at Church, especially after receiving communion, but it comes back. I am thankful to God, that my will and my mind is drawn to God, even in my dreams, and this is definitely a grace from God. 

I kept up playing the recording of Hail Mary as I slept until yesterday. In the morning of yesterday, as I lay in bed sleeping, I heard a voice tell me that God will not let me know if an action is a sin or something along those lines. I thought the voice came from the recording playing on my phone because it sounded like it; it even had the same pace of the voice on the recording. I got indignant and my thought was, “That’s a lie. He does and He has.” and I remembered a moment from a time when I was much younger that I heard an inner voice recite the commandment to me when I was about to break it without even realizing that I was about to.

I wondered why the recitation I had on would say that. So, I opened my eyes and turned towards my phone to listen to it, and it only recited the “Hail Mary”. Then, I got confused. To be honest, it is hard to tell if I was dreaming or awake but I had been asleep and then I was awake. I probably woke up when I opened my eyes.

It was trying to get me to distrust God and I think it was trying to play on my worries about the difficulty I have in discerning mortal sin from venial sin. I tend to think it might be mortal sin and it makes me so sad that I have actually missed communion once because of it. I realized I was wrong after studying about sin on EWTN multiple times (Link here: Sin) and praying for understanding, and then later on, the priest during confession told me it was venial. I also came close to doing so again this Sunday, but I prayed for discernment and came to realize it wasn’t mortal sin, although, I still had to speak with a priest in confession to be completely sure. 

Later on after waking up on Monday, I did an act of trust when I looked at the image of Jesus on my phone by saying “Jesus I trust in you” multiple times. 

All through yesterday, I was troubled; actually all along I have been troubled because I do not want to sin, and I would be foolish to underestimate the temptation. So, I prayed to Our Lady of Sorrows for discernment of what was happening to me. Afterwards, I googled “Saints that were tempted in the body” and came across a great post. The post gave me great comfort. I will leave the part which lifted my spirits here. “Temptations have besides the following advantages….they afford us a means of expiating sin in this life…” Of course this is only possible in union with Christ. Here is the link to the full post: Temptations. There is more on polishing and sanctification on the post and an urging anyone who is tempted to pray to God for strength to resist the temptation rather than to take it all away. I pray for both, if it is God’s will.

I couldn’t play the same recording to go to sleep last night after what happened, so I searched on Spotify for a recitation of the rosary and found Bishop Barron’s podcast “The Rosary with Bishop Barron” and kept the sorrowful mystery playing as I went to sleep. I woke up refreshed and to a good tool for meditating on the Rosary. 

My thoughts rest and resonate with the words of St. Paul, “So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I of myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”

I also remember and dwell on the words of St. James, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” and I have hope that this is not forever. 

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A song you can listen to!

One of Us

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary.

When you hear the scripture and people speak about Jesus and say, “He was one of us”, do you ever wonder what that really means?

The bible said He suffered and was tempted in every way, yet without sinning, and as such is able to sympathize with our weakness. This, He did all in the service of God, so that He may atone for our sins, through His sacrifice of Himself. So, we should have no fear, but be confident to draw close to the throne of grace, and in doing so, we will find mercy and the grace which will help us in our time of need.

I suppose when I have thought of Jesus, even after hearing that He was just like us in every way apart from sin, I have hated any depiction of Him that to my mind was less dignified. I have heard it said that on the cross He felt abandoned when He said, “Father, Father, why have You forsaken me?”. I think maybe to my mind, I interpreted that to mean that He believed He was abandoned, or perhaps I have heard it said as much. My memory is all jumbled up. Either way, I know Jesus is God, so I could not accept that He did not know that The Father was with Him. It was an imperfection that I just could not allow myself to believe. I suppose a part of me felt He found temptation easier, because He is God. I am not proud of that thought.

Today, I think I see things a little different and have another understanding of that moment when He said that. Partly because I have felt this before, but not even close to the degree to which He did, and also partly because, I heard someone say today, “He felt abandoned” and it finally clicked; “He felt”. So, this is only a feeling or emotion; the same emotion that people, including myself, have allowed to distort their grasp of the truth and then have fallen into sin. I say “only an emotion” not to belittle the strength of His emotions, but only to delve into the immensity of His emotions and to say, “what excellent will power, that he was able to hold on to the truth when He felt immense darkness, rejection and abandonment”. And that is only partly His emotional pain, not to talk of His physical suffering as He hung on the cross.

Perhaps it makes sense to me now because I know it is possible to feel an emotion which is at war with the truth of a situation which I am aware of 100%. It is the complexity of the Human situation and Jesus fully went through the human experience.

I believe while He felt abandoned, He knew His Father to be present and when He said that prayer from Psalm 22, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me”, in one way, He was uniting Himself to our suffering, our pain and our despair.

He was one of us.

I am sure this prayer also meant other things. Reading the Psalm will give you an idea, considering the suffering He went through, but I suppose, that other meaning, although equally important, is not the focus of what I am writing.

Following the prayer I mentioned above, He said another prayer just before He died, “Father, into Thy Hands, I commend My Spirit”, which spoke of trust in His Father to take care of Him and preserve Him. And God did preserve Him. He was raised from the dead by the Spirit of God and is now seated at the right hand of The Father, interceding for us. And the same Spirit of God which raised Him from the dead, dwells in all baptized Christians.

It would seem to me that He started off and lived His human life entrusting Himself to God and entrusting Himself to others. He entrusted Himself to the care of Mary and Joseph. He entrusted Himself to the 12 He chose, even knowing that Judas would betray Him. Man, He trusted. I do not know if I could trust people like that but maybe it is a call to entrust oneself to others. I do not know. I am only trying to see people through His Eyes, which are unjaded. I wonder if this would lead to more trust.

I am not a theologian, I might not be accurate in my understanding. In fact, I believe that there is so much that I do not know. I am only seeking understanding and contemplating God. If the answers never come, I am fine with it. There is a knowledge that leads to pride and destruction anyway. But, if you want to hear from people who have studied Theology, Ascension Presents has a couple of them.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song to listen to!

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2022 In Review

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I started off the year feeling hopeful. I wished to remain hopeful and persevere once again this year.

There were moments I lost hope. I felt hurt. I felt pain. I could not see the light. When I caught myself doing this, I reminded myself to hope once again. I am glad I kept on hoping.

Wonderful things happened to me this year in the midst of life’s turbulence. I got a merit raise. I am thankful to God that I had the courage to ask for a raise…and for the raise as well. The raise didn’t even come to me until 3 months had passed after I had asked. I wanted more in the way of professional development into a future career path I am hopeful for but when I asked I was not given that opportunity.

After a long wait this year, my Canadian PR was approved and in the same month as my mom’s too.

I dealt with unsavoury characters and thrived in a hostile environment. A character showed a softness towards the end of my time in London that I never expected.

I had a conversation with someone about this and she told me we attract everything that happens to us. I don’t agree with what I had been told about attracting all that I am because I have not had unkindness dealt towards me because this is what I put out. I had had a tough time in London. I had met difficult people and the wall I developed was higher than that of the wall of China. I never let myself be soft with these people. I matched their toughness and defended myself. Even though I didn’t fully agree with her, I did wonder if there was some level of truth to what she said. It made me sad. It made me ask myself these questions.

“Is it faith I’m lacking,

Is it hope I’m lacking,

Is it love?

Maybe it’s all.”

– Me (23 Sep 2022)

While I do not agree with her now, I do see how I could have reacted differently to the way I had been treated. I could have been soft towards them while they were terrible to me and rejoiced in it. Now, I see it as a chance I could have used to draw even closer to God. To know His word, To know His Will. To know Him.

I was complacent in my spirituality and I didn’t realize this until I had moved to Canada. I actually had a thought in London prior to moving, “If God is not angry with me because He was still good to me. Then, it must be fine. I must be doing nothing wrong.”

I had a tough time with my job applications in Canada and I thought, “Could God be mad at me?”

I had felt I was good relatively, but upon self examination, I realized I was far from being okay and I resolved to fix things.

I am not quite sure what spurred on my study of the bible.

Was it the funny skit that Ariel Fitzpatrick made. The one where she said, “God answers the prayer of the righteous”. That skit had caused me to pause. I did not feel righteous. I always imagined it impossible to be righteous so, I never really thought I could win there and I never tried, but I did know I am a daughter of The Most High and I am loved regardless of my imperfections.

Was it the bible notification I received which said to “Seek first His kingdom and everything else will be added onto you”. Did that do it?

I know I sensed I was supposed to seek God. Even heard a voice say, “Seek me” at some point. I read about Abraham, who himself was a nomad, and I could relate to him in that aspect of his life. Reading about Abraham made me realize what it meant to be righteous. Obedience to God. Then, I read the Bible even more. I explored devotional plans on YouVersion that I felt I was supposed to read and I learnt more about God and how I have not exactly been living a life that was pleasing to God and it felt ridiculous to me that I had even been complacent.

I found God once again, but also quite differently. This time I care enough to do what pleases Him because he really does care about what I do and I love Him. I think I am still learning and growing to be firm in these things, praying and asking for His help every step of the way.

The year ends soon. I am so hopeful for all the New Year will hold. I am expectant of the blessings God has in store for me and I feel His love for me; His presence in my life.

In the New Year, I hope to have an even stronger understanding of who God is and to live as he would want. I hope for all things good and soft in the New Year. I especially hope to have faith, hope and love, swirling within me and everywhere all around me.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new blog post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

2022 In Review By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Listen On My Podcast @Amara’s Musings
A Lovely Song To Listen To!

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