Category Archives: What matters

A Happy Death

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

Have you ever wondered what a happy death is? I did at the start of my reversion to the Catholic faith, since I prayed the Rosary regularly; the intention of the 4th Glorious Mystery (The Assumption of Mother Mary into Heaven) being a “Happy Death”, and presently, it is regularly on my mind.

I suppose at the start of my reversion, I might have imagined a happy death to mean a good death. I am trying to recall what conclusion I came to at the start. What is a good death? Is it to live comfortable, amassing wealth, love, fame, and then to die, and to cease to exist? The Catholic belief is that those who die in God’s grace, go to Heaven eventually, after a purification process. The Word of God says, “Nothing unclean will see God.”. So, is it possible to go straight to Heaven? One would have to be completely purified at the moment of death for them to go to Heaven straight away and how many can be so confident, without being foolish, that at the moment of their death, they have renounced all attachments and cling solely to God. I think I have heard it spoken of that it is also a Catholic belief that you can go straight to heaven after you die. Blessed Carlo Acutis spoke of going straight to Heaven. I think St. Therese of the Child Jesus did as well. St. Therese is a gem amongst gems. Then, there is St. Cecilia, who I learnt of recently and I was so in awe of. I think she went straight to heaven. She is so pure and beautiful. When I think of the saints, I think of how I am nothing like them.

I think I heard it said a “Happy Death” is to die in God’s grace and not about living a good life and then dying, by man’s standards. I suppose I might have imagined dying in my sleep, free of troubles and illness, when I considered a “good death”. I know of someone who prayed to die free of illness or long illness. I do not know if she died that way. I came to a place of no fear about death, and even thought recently that I could be dying while I slept one night. I felt myself floating upwards in that dream and thought, “Am I dying?”. I resigned myself to it and prayed, “Father, welcome me into your arms”. Then, I remembered I ought to pray for the forgiveness of my sins, which I did. Immediately, I prayed a prayer of contrition, it felt like my soul was slammed back into my body. I don’t know if the following happened right after, but while my eyes were still closed, an image of a smiling woman carrying a baby took shape in my head. It was like a drawing coming to completion. I remember clearly that at least either the woman or the child had chubby cheeks, possibly both did. And their youth, beauty, and cuteness was so evident. I have never seen that drawing in real life. I thought it was Jesus and Mary as I watched. This happened the Sunday of the first week of October.

I have watched people say it is normal to regret not doing a lot of things before dying. I have also heard it said it is naive not to fear dying even a little bit. Additionally, I heard it said it is foolish to just want to die, without considering the need to receive final rites or viaticum, and that it is the way to have a “Good Death”, and perhaps there was talk of a battle that happens at the moment of death. This is my interpretation of the things spoken. Perhaps, I misunderstand these people. I have considered those lines of thinking and perhaps I am the most foolish of them all for not being encumbered by such ways of thinking.

I have concluded that those ways of thinking produce fear, and I lay all my fear and anxiety at the feet of Jesus, at the foot of His cross, begging Him to redeem it and redeem me to glory of His Name, for my salvation and the salvation of others.

While having final rites done for you is a good thing, do I think everyone who have died or will die without final rites do not have a fighting chance of going straight to heaven or that they have less of a chance? The battle is God’s after all. Do I think I have a fighting chance at any point in my life, apart from the abundance and unending nature of God’s grace and mercy and Mary’s intercession for me.

I imagine even if I stood before Him and I was accused of the most heinous crimes and they were all found to be true, He is justified in condemning me, because He is all good and all righteous and I will accept His righteous judgement as true, without forgetting as well another truth, that even though there is no good in me, the Mercy of God never ceases, and I would beg for mercy with all the confidence of a child that knows it is loved without measure. This is a prayer and hope of mine. And so, I pray frequently and earnestly for a “Happy Death”, knowing that I will never be surrounded by love on this earth to the magnitude that I would be when I get to Heaven. I also earnestly run to the Blessed Virgin, ever confident in her love and intercession for me. I pray that Jesus and Mary are there at the moment of my death to lead me to Heaven. Knowing me, I will get lost without them.

I imagine a “Happy life” will be dictated by union with God after death or should I say a “Happy death”. I will be able to say “I lived a full life”, when I am in Heaven, not before. I count my life as loss, if it means I am separated from God. A happy life to me, is a life which terminates in friendship with God, whether rich or poor, loved or hated, young or old. There is no reason to despise the rich or to despise the hated or consider them going to a worse place than you are when death comes. You do not see their heart or know their destination and you could be wrong about them. The same God who loves you, loves them too. You would be better off praying for them to get to Heaven, not forgetting to pray for yourself too. So, I think there is no right station to be assigned to in this life, only a right way of living; a life lived loving God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, with your whole might, a life lived loving your neighbour as yourself. Go and learn what that entails by seeking God through Jesus, while He still can be found, and do it in truth. He will draw near to you.

I think I should say that I am not encouraging sinning so that God’s mercy presses even greater upon you. It should be obvious but it isn’t always.

I will end this post with the prayer from the Divine Mercy Prayer that I encourage people to pray and meditate on: “Eternal God in Whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon me and increase Your mercy in me, that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will which is love and mercy itself”. You see, it really is in showing mercy or in the abundance of mercy that is in us, that we are able to hope that mercy will be shown to us. I just realized this.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song! Take a listen!

Catholic Teaching: Cooperation and Double Effect

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary!

I said in a previous post that I could not find a catholic teaching that pointed specifically to my job situation but there are actually catholic teachings. I saw them in the publication and did not realize they were actual Catholic teachings. I also did not read the entire publication, only areas I felt pertained to me. So, two teachings among others considered in the publication are: The Principle of Double Effect and The Principle of Cooperation in Evil. Read more here: A Catholic Guide to Ethical Research

The principle of double effect is a moral guide developed over several centuries in the Catholic moral tradition, designed to help ensure that an act which has both good and bad likely effects will be morally good. 

Cooperation in evil is any specific assistance knowingly and freely given to the morally evil act of another person or institution. A cooperator is the person or institution that provides this assistance, and a “principal agent” is the person or institution whose immoral act is assisted by the cooperator. 

I must admit knowing the teachings does not automatically translate to understanding how to apply it to every given situation. I found it unclear, but this is a limitation of my understanding, not necessarily the teaching.

I have focused more on the examples which were given in the publication to gain understanding, and also the below principles laid out in the publication:

“In crafting morally acceptable wording, the following principles should be followed:

a. Subjects should not be required to use contraception. 

i. However, subjects can be required to take appropriate precautions to avoid pregnancy or fathering a child. 

ii. The level of certainty with which pregnancy is to be avoided may be specified in the protocol. 

b. The subjects must be free to choose how they will avoid becoming pregnant or fathering a child, although as noted above the level of certainty may be specified. 

c. It is permissible to convey information to subjects on the effectiveness of various methods of pregnancy prevention, and verify their understanding, as long as it is clear that use of contraceptives is not required. Conveying information but not requiring contraception is not immoral cooperation, because the writer or health professional is providing factual information that is in the public domain, which is morally different than advocating or encouraging the use of contraception. 

d. Abstinence should always be included as an acceptable method for avoiding pregnancy or fathering a child. 

e. Certain methods of preventing pregnancy may be prohibited. For example, birth control pills may be prohibited in studies where drug interactions with oral contraceptives could occur and pose a safety risk or otherwise alter the outcome of the study.

f. Abortion is never permissible as a method of birth control.”

I saw a priest about it twice and I also enlisted the help of my brother for an impartial assessment. Another priest advised me to look up catholic teaching, to get someone to help me discern (which is the reason I used my brother and read the publication better to realize it is actual catholic teaching) and that he will also read up on it as well. One priest and my brother have confirmed that I am not cooperating in evil based on the principles mentioned above.

I don’t understand the first principle stated above since to prevent pregnancy is to use contraception whether by natural methods including abstinence, or non-natural methods including pills and devices. And if it is a requirement to join the study that one must prevent pregnancy, then the subjects are required to use contraception. It could be that the authors of the publication don’t consider “behaviour” as a form of contraception when they mention contraception should not be required but appropriate measures can be required to prevent pregnancy.

There is also a lack of control I have in the implementation of these protocol/ICFs.

I am thankful to God that all this has caused me to spot an omission in a document which has not been implemented yet.

Depending on where you read, abstinence is considered a birth control method. Alberta Health Services, the jurisdiction I work under, lists abstinence as a birth control method (Birth control methods), but just because it says so today, does not mean it will say so tomorrow.

I think it is suspect if a lot of society do not include abstinence as a method of birth control when it is the only way that is 100% certain of preventing pregnancy when used consistently. No one bats an eye about the possibility that oral pills or condoms may be used inconsistently or the accidents that can happen with the condom, but a lot of people become lawyers and warriors when it comes to arguing about the impracticality of using sexual abstinence. It is hard not to see there is an agenda here.

I have been sexually abstinent for years now. It is a way of life. I don’t think about it. I just am. I don’t believe I am the only one. The culture is so harmful in making people believe they are the only one being sexually abstinent; they are odd; they will not be wanted; there is something wrong with them. I think the right way is to have properly ordered desires. The point of procreation is to have children and for bonding between a husband and a wife. Anything outside of that is disordered. Yet, disorder is praised highly and given the golden stamp.

When I was younger, I felt the pressure to not be celibate because society seemed to condemn people who were “virgins” and I felt weird for not being like everyone else.

Society mentions that birth control methods like pills and devices give you the freedom to choose when you can be pregnant but it is a false sense of freedom if a person has no control over their desires. Essentially, to not have control over one’s desires is to be a slave to one’s desires. The ones who are truly free are the ones who have control over their desires. That is the ideal goal. Nobody says it is easy but through the power of the Holy Spirit and persistence, humility and courage in drawing close to the throne of mercy to Jesus; that is how you will become free. “Now, The Lord is Spirit, and where The Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A song you could listen to!

Hope

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary!

I started off before I began to write this, to pray to God for His help with writing this post on Hope. I told Him that I don’t really know if I am the best to write about “Hope” and I do not know much what to say about it, but I had kind of decided earlier, I believe during morning prayer, that it would be the topic of writing for my next post. My thought in prayer was a conversation I had with a colleague of mine yesterday.

I have been making job applications for close to a year now if not more, since the one I have now is temporary. I have had 3 initial interviews which have not proceeded to the next. The last one, I seemed to have offended the lady by telling her “Thank you for reaching out to me.” Her displeasure was so evident on her face and her body language. She practically reclined back in her chair in that moment with a displeased expression on her face, that I did not understand what I did to offend her, so, I had to explain my reason for saying thank you, by adding, “I appreciate it.” The giveaway was her eagerness to tell me her concern about a lack of experience in a particular therapeutic area, when I had asked her something different, i.e., if there was something she needed clarity on from what I had shared with her. My lack of experience in dermatology was clearly stated in my application, since it is one of their intake questions. Her reaction after my “Thank you” was another giveaway. My consideration from the experience was I was glad I did not lie about my experience. I feel like she tried to trip my up, when she stated an experience which I did not have and I don’t believe I claimed to have it anywhere. This could be an assumption, but her smile/mini-laugh when I denied having the experience was strange to me. My joy is that I refuted it and put away my desperation or desire for a job. I suppose I also considered afterwards that I should have taken the word I believe now was from God, telling me to rest, while I prepared late into the night for the interview. How many times have I not listened to that voice because while I considered it might be from God, I wondered if it came from me?

This and the other rejections I have received, including the other 2 pre-interviews, have not hurt me so much. I have been thankful to God so much that it does not hurt anymore. My hunger is for God to show me what exactly He would like me to do. And I have begun to wonder if that is clinical research, since I have started to have some concerns about a certain part of clinical research, in relation to my faith, and I am starting to wonder if I am complicit in evil. I spoke to a priest about it and he assured me that I am not, although after leaving him, I wondered if I was clear enough to him about the extent of my involvement. I am unclear on that point in my memory. Although, recently, I remembered that it is possible that I did mention it to him. I have to book another appointment to clarify this again. I feel silly when these things happen but what am I to do about it? He did say I could leave the field of clinical research if I continue to be bothered about it, and encouraged me to pray to God for discernment. I think a part of me knows I am not doing anything wrong but for clarity sake, I must ask. I also have to think if I am indeed proud of the work that I am involved in.

So, these are the things I have been thinking about, first and foremost and not necessarily the rejections. I have praying for direction into the job or vocation that God is calling me into. I do not know what it is or could be.

My conversation with my colleague yesterday was a topic on the Job opening at my workplace which I applied for which is a project manager role in clinical research (Although I am applying broadly to any project management role and praying God places me in the one He feels is best). My colleague feels I am so qualified, with my PMP certification and experience in project management that I had to tell her that I try not to raise my hopes too high. She mentioned that I must have some hope if I am applying. So, I explained in my brief way of speaking that “I do not hope in myself. I hope in God.” She stared at me in consideration. I tried to convey to her that if my skills were ultimate, I would have a job now. I don’t know if my explanation carried as far as I wished to convey it, since in person, I use so few words. One thing I know is, God is ultimate and greater than anything and I wish to please Him, as best as I can. I am not saying I am perfect. I make so many mistakes and sometimes, I do not know if I am doing the right thing. Other times, what seemed right, ends up looking wrong to me and bringing me grief that I think I would prefer my free will taken away by God but what do I know.

I know that God is more than able to give me more and better than I can ever imagine. If He chooses not to give me in this life, I look forward to the feast and treasure that awaits me in Heaven. I only ask for the grace to move on to all that He desires for me.

On a final note, Pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A peaceful chant you might enjoy! Listen to find out!

Discipline

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I would like to start off this post by recommending a YouTube video. The weirdest thing happened to me this week when I played it on my phone. The volume on my phone kept going down. Each time, I would turn it back up, the volume would automatically turn down low, close to being silent, until I intervened and turned it back up. I started praying to God to protect me, calling on the name of Jesus. I probably asked for the intercession of Mary (this is becoming a habit) and St. Catherine (I was watching a video about her, so it makes sense), and it desisted after a short while. All in all, I relied on God to do the fighting. I did not have to restart my phone or change any settings on it, so it was a very weird thing. This happened on Tuesday night in my bedroom. It is God’s grace that I felt no fear, instead, I was ready to fight through the only way I really know how to, through prayer. The video is titled “The Apostle of the Blood of Christ: St. Catherine of Siena”. Here is the link, go and watch: The Apostle of the Blood of Christ: St. Catherine of Siena

St. Catherine of Siena is my patron saint. When I chose the name Catherine for my confirmation name, I did not realize what I was doing. I just thought the name to be a pretty name. That was until recently, maybe last year, that I learnt about her, and I found myself relating to her experiences, one of which is her extreme fasts when she was just young. I have a weird relationship with food. When I was maybe 12 or 13, I started rigorous fasts from food, not for good religious purposes unfortunately, but to lose weight because I was called “fat”. There were times when I went for long hours—once I remember even a full 24 hours—without eating because I simply forgot. When I did eat, I ate ridiculously tiny portions, maybe once a day, coupled with a small snack (cheese balls). While it was a rather bad reason that caused me to engage in this, I cannot deny when I look back, that as a child I had so much discipline, a grace and a gift from God.

4 years ago, I came to the recognition through the study of the Bible, that nothing happens without God knowing or allowing it to happen and everything that happens is ultimately for the glory of His name, that is, for good. Isaiah 45 tells this bit very clearly. I learnt that it is pointless to be mad at God or to fight God and as much as we are important to Him, as much as we are loved by Him, we are nothing. I recognised that this is hard to accept but I believe acceptance of these things is key to managing anxiety.

I gained understanding of other facts as well, such as facts about gratitude, hope and love – gratitude to God while weighed down by troubles, hope that suffering is not forever, hope that God will show his glory in the situation, Love, God’s love, which shields our hearts even as we hurt, such that the pain is dull, and we know we are not alone. I had another pang of anxiety after I had learnt these things, and so I told myself these things and I felt my heart grow stronger and the anxiety leave me. You see, “My life is in God’s hands. Nothing happens to me without His consent. It is part of His plan, and He shall be glorified through my situation. I am not alone. Never alone. God walks with me. So, I should walk through life lightly.”

So, when in the video I spoke of earlier, Bishop Barron mentioned that St. Catherine received a Divine Word about her relationship to God, “You are she who is not and I am He Who is.”, I could understand it. Watching this video has helped me to remember the revelation I received from God years ago. It is easy to forget so I am thankful to remember.

I find it interesting how I have had in my life, strong bursts of faith, only to be faithless afterwards or moments of Divine inspiration without even realizing it, until I go back to read what I have written and I am amazed, but it all goes to show that even the burst of faith or Divine inspiration which I have experienced in my life, is all because of God’s grace at work in my life, and being here right now in my journey to know Him and to be like Him; all this could only be God’s doing.

The religious life requires discipline but even more so, the religious life requires God Who supplies us with the Grace we need to encounter Him, to be transformed by these encounters, in order to draw us even closer to Him with a discipline that is only possible through Him, with Him and in Him. I am hopeful when I think back to the child I was, that God will supply me once again with an even stronger discipline with which I will be able to dwell in His house forever to behold His beauty that surpasses all understanding.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A song you can listen to!

Second Chances or a Millionth

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I noticed yesterday that the theme of this week in Church, starting from Sunday, has been about the “Holy Eucharist” and I believe it is not a coincidence that I have experienced the things I spoke of in my last post.

It makes me feel that God is truly present and active in my life. Especially when I pause to think that He has given me a chance to right the wrong from my past, that is, my denial and disdain of who I am. I am thankful to God for this. I also have a chance to use my latent headstrong nature that doesn’t care about being the only one doing a thing, towards bringing glory to God, and for my salvation, as well as the salvation of others. An intention I have made recently before the Blessed Sacrament is for God to restore me to the moment I got baptized, so it is no surprise that I am being transformed to the child I once was before the corruption or into the child I am meant to be.

This is not the first time that God has done so either. I have been in a situation, where I made a bad decision the first time. In my repentance, I hoped for another chance and it did come to me. I did the right thing the second time without any struggle or thought and a man who’d noticed the interaction, looked at me wondering why I did so, but I ducked my face because I got shy from his attention. I believe the old woman must have been an angel or sent by God for that to even repeat itself, because what are the odds? Of course I think this in retrospect, many years later.

Okay, I will share what happened. I wasn’t going to.

I got on a bus in Lagos, Nigeria, and then an old lady turned to me and quietly begged me to pay for her fare and I ignored her. I got home and I told my mom about it, saying, “Why would she ask me to pay for her fare?”, and my mom told me I should have done so, since I had spare money. At the time, it seemed illogical to me, that the lady got on the bus without her T-fare. I distrusted it, like it was some sort of scam, so I ignored the old lady. I felt so bad about my mom’s words. I had not expected censure because I thought I was right. So, I prayed or hoped to God for another chance. Another time, I think on the same bus route, there was an old lady. The conductor asked her for her T-fare and he got aggravated because she ignored him. Then, she turned around to me and told me to pay for her T-fare. My eyes widened and I paid for her and for me, without a word. The conductor looked at me with confusion written all over his face, and I looked down. There were many people in that bus. The old lady could have looked to the left or right of her or even to the people around me or said something to the conductor, but she looked back, squarely at me and asked me to pay for her T-fare (she did not beg). That has never repeated itself again in my life.

When I ponder on all this, it makes me think and believe God will do the same in other ways in my life.

In case anyone is wondering what happened on Thursday, when I got to the church, I prayed to Jesus for the strength to go through with it and I prayed to Mary for her help. Then, I got on my knees and received communion on my tongue. The next day I prayed to Jesus and Mary because I know I have a fickle heart and I knelt once again to receive communion on my tongue. My ascent still needs work but I’ll get there.

I believe if people complain ceaselessly about a lack of reverence in the Novus Ordo Mass without doing anything about it, in the way of their actions at said mass, then it is all noise. I have never had a problem with a Novus Ordo mass. I grew up in it, both Latin and English versions, and it had all the reverence, the incense, the music, the altar service, the kneeling to receive Holy Communion on the tongue, the altar rails, the fervor, the participation and the love of the congregation. So, the mass itself is reverent. It is the actions of the members that are lacking, from the priest to the congregation.

If a church in a different country keeps the altar rails while another church in another country decides to do away with the rails, paten etc., and yet both use the Novus Ordo liturgy, is the liturgy less reverent or are the religious leaders less reverent? This is not to idealize the church which kept the rails because the Catholic Church around the world needs people that do the right thing.

I didn’t even know about this discussion about Traditional Latin mass until I moved to Canada, and my mom had not heard about the Traditional Latin Mass until I told her about it. It is only when I travelled abroad that I attended masses where people were not enthused in their responses if they did respond (memory is vague but there was a lack of fire I felt). I believe it rubbed off on me. Now being here in Canada, I have responded and I have sung. I have noticed the fervour in the churches I attend change over time, so much so that the priest of the church where I attend Sunday Mass has thanked the congregation for the generosity of their participation.

It takes everyone.

The priest should show reverence when giving Holy Communion to communicants or when handling the Holy Communion, bearing in mind that he has in his hands The Body of Christ. The communicants should receive the Holy Communion and appear before the Holy Communion with reference, bearing in mind that they are standing before Christ’s Body and acting as they would if they believe Him to be visibly present. Praise and worship are due to God, so the congregation should respond to the priest, knowing they are giving justice due to God.

Preaching about reverence is a good thing but even better is when the people move to action.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song written and sung by a friend that you could listen to!

My Helper

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By Cynthia Aralu

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From whence does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved,
    He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep. 

The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not smite you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

Psalm 121:1-6

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

For most of the time I have written, which is a good chunk of my life, whenever I set out to write, I have allowed my emotions to drive me. Sometimes, I had written after a chance inspiration by a body of work which I found to be inspiring and other times, I wrote from my place of interacting with the things and the people in my life. I don’t think I have really included God in my writing process, at least not until recently, when I began writing about God; then I started praying before writing. I did this because I got nervous about writing the wrong things about God or leading people astray.

I did some introspection after my poem, “Hey Mom” was refined by my younger brother. The experience left me feeling a bit shaken for some days. I realized on looking back on the poem I wrote about “Expected Endings”; I had been purely driven and guided by churning emotions. I believe most of what I have considered “some of my best works” have usually been produced this way. Even as I put the arrangement together for “Expected Endings” up on my blog, I did not pray since I was not directly mentioning God on the post. I seemed to have separated my work from God in doing this. As if to say, “Now, I get to post something of mine since I have posted everything else I wanted to post about God.” Actually, my thought process was exactly this.

Before or while writing the poem “Hey Mom”, I had said a prayer to God for His help to write well. I felt nothing as I wrote but I tried to refine the poem as best as I could on my journey home from the church. I posted the poem on my blog late at night but sent off a copy separately to my younger brother for his feedback. I suppose I wasn’t expecting anything major from him, but when I woke I up and picked up my phone, I saw his replies. We had a back and forth on my way to work, as I did not fully grasp what he was getting at. Understanding of his point of his view hit me, from seeing what his refinements were, just as my bus halted at the bus stop. I teared up in reaction to this assent of my mind to his creative genius, as I alighted from the bus; a reaction stemming entirely from a strong wave of inadequacy which washed over me and nothing more.

Logical or not, that feeling of inadequacy which had labelled me a horrible writer might have been, I cannot say. I can say however, that by the time I arrived at my office, I pondered on the fact that I had prayed to God for His help to write a good poem, but His help had come through my brother. I think I was rattled majorly because His help did not come in the form I had expected it. I literally want God to show up in dazzling ways through me, but He does not want me to be alone, so, He shows me the bar of my limitations, urging me to lean on the strength he has supplied to others, to surpass my limits.

So, I prayed to Him to send me a helper for a petition I have been making for a while now. 

This experience made me realize three things: (1) God does not want me to be alone, (2) God will use the people or whatever it is He has sent into my life to help me whether or not they realize it or even want to help me and (3) I do not want to keep my writing separate from God.

I will figure this writing thing out with God because my help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song to listen to!

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The Forgiveness of Sins

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I suppose I will begin at what I do know.

Yesterday night and today, my mind has been full of the memory of a past dream I had about my dad, close to 3 years ago, in which at the end of it, I started to preach to the people present about the forgiveness of sins, after what I perceived to be my dad’s departure from the land of the living into the Kingdom of Heaven.

I have never done that preaching in real life and to be honest, I do not know how to. I was so full of boldness and conviction in that dream as I preached the forgiveness of sins. At the time I had that dream, I was coming back to a belief in God from a time when I believed in nothing. I had finished reading the book of Mark in order to understand Who Jesus is to me. I had tried to tame my distrust and work on a bible plan on YouVersion and I chose Mark because it is the shortest gospel. I did see things in a new light by the grace of God, to the extent that I could, but at the core, I was still weak in faith and morals, and I did what I wanted and found pleasing, not what God wanted.

The dream I mentioned earlier stuck with me, mostly because I had seen my deceased dad and he’d felt so real to me and somehow, I felt as though he had gone to heaven.

Today, in church, I heard St. Paul say that he does as he ought to do when he preaches the gospel, that it is of no boasting to him, and woe to him if he doesn’t, as it is a necessity that he does so, as he has been entrusted with a commission, and I thought that perhaps I ought to fulfil the dream I had in some way, right now, since I have never really outrightly spoken about the forgiveness of sins.

So, what is the forgiveness of sins, which I wholeheartedly believe and profess?

The truth is that God so loved the world; He loves you and He loves me so very much, that He sent His only Begotten Son, Jesus, so that anyone who believes in Jesus will have eternal life and have it to the fullest. It is the wish of God that we all become His sons and daughters and it is His desire and His good pleasure to give us the Kingdom, every single one of us, the righteous or the sinner, the weak or the strong, the poor or the rich, the despised or the loved, the broken or the healing. He wants you. He wants me. But, we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory and the goodness of God. As such, Jesus made the way for us to be reconciled and bridged back to God, the Father, through the sacrifice of His Life, the sinless for the sinful; and Jesus, He has conquered sin, death and the troubles of the world. If we would but repent, put away our old, sinful ways that bring harm to our souls, and believe in Jesus and all that He has revealed, we will have eternity with Him, living as beloved sons and daughters of God. Be baptized, therefore, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, as Jesus has commanded and walk in new life in Jesus, remembering always that He is with you always even to the end of age and through it all, and knowing as well, that once we have endured this life, we have a crown of glory waiting for us with God forever.

This is as best as I can tell of the forgiveness of sins in this post. If you would like to learn more, you can go on the YouTube page of Ascension Presents.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A beautiful song you could listen to!

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Thanking God this New Year

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By Cynthia Aralu

Preserve me, O God, for in Thee I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, “Thou art my Lord;
I have no good apart from Thee.”

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
Thou holdest my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
yea, I have a goodly heritage

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I keep the Lord always before me;
because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

– Psalm 16:1-2, 5-8

Happy New Year Everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I hope everyone is keeping well this New Year. We are about halfway into the first month of year and I’ve got to say, I started off the New Year with good news. I took the PMP certification exam in the early hours of Jan 1st, right from the comfort of my home and I received word the next day that I passed. I am so thankful to God for his help in my success, which is His. It has been a long time coming. He put the goal in my mind years ago, although I did not know the path to take to get it or think that I would be eligible to take the exam, but He pushed me forward with a gentleness and His persevering Spirit. I applied around July last year for the exam and my application was approved. I was so overjoyed because prior to applying I had a fear that I hadn’t had the title of “Project Manager” for very long and perhaps that could affect my application but it did not matter.

I was deep into preparing for the exam when I discovered that I made a huge error in my application which had already been approved; there was an error in my work history which made it look like I had more years of experience in a particular job role than I actually had. I wrestled with myself about reporting this to PMI. And then I wrestled with God. I have a tendency of taking shortcuts as long as I get to my goal and no one gets hurt. It is still something I am fighting to overcome and in that moment, it was so hard. I told God that anyone I told about reporting this and withdrawing my application would think I am stupid, since I had already passed through the approval process and there was no way I would be audited after that approval. But, as I wrestled with God in my head, I heard a video playing from my phone say, “Have Faith”.

I felt a profound peace wash over me after I heard that, so, I messaged the customer service line of PMI and reported the error and told the rep to withdraw my application. I think this happened in October of last year. At that time, I was nearing the end of the study group session I was a part of, so when I withdrew my application and re-applied, I felt unsure of where I stood, even as I attended the study session that followed after. In the wait for the re-evaluation of my application, my studying slowed down somewhat and I took a bit of a break from the gruelling studying I was engaged in. I saw a movie at the cinema with a friend and really just slowed down. Thanks be to God, my second application was approved and I didn’t have to go through a stressful audit. The studying I did for this exam was incredibly stressful and I don’t remember an exam ever stressing me as much as this exam did.

To put things into context, and not to be boastful because my life really is a display of the goodness of God; I have not failed any course I have taken since the WASSCE at the end of secondary school. It was understandable I performed poorly since I had not studied and I did not trust in God. I got mostly Cs, which was not helpful to me if I wanted to get into Medicine, which I did want at the time, but since then, I have grown to be aware that I am somewhat capable if I work hard and ask God for His help, because I graduated with a Distinction, the highest grade achievable, in my MSc course in Pharmaceutical Sciences at Kingston University, despite my “poor memory” which I have struggled with a long time, and yet my MSc course did not stress me out quite like this exam did. It could be because this exam is not a part of the sciences, so it was a lot of learning of terms or concepts for the first time.

There were moments I wanted to stop studying but I deeply wanted God to help me and I wanted to approach Him knowing that I had given it my all. I knew He would help me like He always did. To be clear, I did not wait until it was time to take the exam before I started praying. I prayed before I applied; continuously as I prepared, for guidance while I studied, to absorb the information as I studied, to retain it, to be able to answer any question put forth in front of me at the exam, and to have an easier exam than the practice questions I went through. I prayed as well during the exam, as my belly started to hurt as I answered the first 60 questions which I thought were okay enough, and continued praying as the questions got annoyingly harder during the second 60 questions, and continued praying as the discomfort in my belly persisted during the last 60 questions which I thought were fair.

I did not fully sense God’s presence as I wrote the exam but I knew He had to be present because He is always with me, because He is faithful, not because of anything I do, but because of His Character. However, my senses were dull, so my prayer as I took this exam was desperate as time progressed. You see, sometimes, I am able to sense Him in the breeze that envelopes me, or in the movement in my mind that allows me to see things clearly which I once did not understand, once I ask for His help, or a warmth of my cheeks and a rush, or a warm, cozy feeling in my heart that makes me feel cocooned, or the repetition of a phrase everywhere He would like me to explore in the bible, or a peace that comes over me, and many more ways, because God cannot be contained and I am not able to know all of the ways in which He makes His presence known.

I did not get my result immediately after the exam, like I expected to, and I allowed that to put me in a bad mood for the remainder of the day. I even started to regret taking the exam on that day because of how tired and sleep-deprived I was, how unsure I was about how I did on the exam, and my foul mood on the first day of the year. At the end of the day, I realized the reason my mood was off. I did not start the day praying. When I was planning to take this exam, I did not factor in setting aside an hour of the day to pray in the morning like I normally do. I woke up, did a quick prayer as I got ready for the exam and got on with it.

I am working on staying joyful throughout this year, despite what my eyes see, since I am short sighted in the physical and in many ways in the spirit. I am praying for discernment this year, of God’s will, God’s voice and God’s wise counsel. I am also praying for the grace and the strength of will to always do His will, so that I may be wise in all that I do, and also that I and my family may always abide in His house forever.

I am working on building intimacy with God this year, being mindful of my actions and acting indeed like I believe God to be the Lord of my life, so that I can glorify God by the way I live my life.

I am also working on bringing to the forefront of my mind, to serve as a guide on how I perceive and move through this world, that everything in the world belongs to me, so that I do not try to rush to grab it all for myself and I can be patient in letting others have it. Let me try to explain what I mean and I hope this makes sense. I came to this realization early one morning, on my way to work last year, when I pondered on one of the temptations of Jesus, which on and off would come to my mind, and I would think it strange, confusing and not very smart of the devil to tempt Jesus with the whole world when it all belongs to Jesus, but then it dawned on me, “Does it not all belong to me too, since I am an Heir of God and co-heir with Jesus?” It allowed me to be able to give more to the people around me when I remembered, because there is no reason I should be fighting or grasping for things or getting mad or sad over things that are ultimately mine. To operate from a mindset of abundance that comes from being who I am, a daughter of God, rather than from a viewpoint of scarcity that comes from the brokenness and scarcity I have encountered all my life. Of course, I am still working on remembering and applying this.

I hope to be thankful all year to God for all of His mercies, His kindness, His love, His grace, His revelations, His presence, His nearness, His movements, His provisions, His goodness and for Him, which He has already poured out into me and around me, trusting that He will continue to do so the rest of this year and the rest of my life, because He is faithful.

God bless you all in the New Year!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A beautiful song you could listen to!

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St. Paul

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Today’s post was written on a night in January. I am convinced I am loved by God no matter what because of St. Paul’s confidence. I believe it is similar to what Fr. Mike Schmitz has explained about our belief not being in isolation when we say the Nicene Creed. We believe in and with a community of believers and are strengthened together in the midst of all believers. My translation of what he’d said anyway. Funny enough, I wrote this post prior to listening to Fr. Mike Schmitz.

It was nighttime that day and I thought of St. Paul as I ate my peppery pasta. I tried to imagine how he must have felt. He’d sinned against God when he persecuted God’s people. I wondered for a moment if he ever went back in his head and heart and felt torture remembering this but as soon as that thought formed, I realized he felt loved because a summarized version of a bible verse which he wrote popped into my head right after.

“Nothing can separate us from the love of God.”

I knew with certainty that he felt loved and I felt loved as well by proxy.

Reading the bible verse now, I must admit he says it so much better. His conviction carries through and lifts my heart. So, I shall put it here for you to read, so that your heart will find rest from its torment.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:35-39 (NIV)

08 Jan 2023

“Catalogued thoughts”

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

St. Paul By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Listen on Podcast @Amara’s Musings
A Song Suggestion!

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A Blessed Year

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By Cynthia Aralu

“The Lord bless you and keep you:

The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you:

The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.”

Numbers 6:24-26 (The Bible)

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

Happy New Year! We are nearing the end of the first month of the year and I felt it necessary to wish everyone here a Blessed Year!

I ended last year expectant of all the blessings I felt in my soul that God has meant for me in the New Year! I have been blessed in extraordinary ways already, just learning about the heart of God and being in His presence daily. The understanding of just how loved I am has been overwhelming, transcendental and transforming. Gratitude spills out of my being like a spring of water giving me peace and joy that I know can only be from God. I am so grateful to God for His gift of counsel and steering me aright, for opening my eyes to the undeniable truth; His gift of grace upon grace. Therefore, I am not random. I am not an accident because The Lord knows me by my name. He has set me apart and it is my prayer that I rise to the occasion in being Holy as my Heavenly Father is Holy.

Soon, I am to begin a new job as a project manager. God has blessed me. It is by His grace that my faith persevered. He had set His countenance on me and been gracious to me because I put all my hope in Him. He has given me direction which has proved useful in securing a certification as well. It is my prayer to move forward all the days of my life with the courage of Joshua, putting my entire trust in God, Who believes in me, and to live a life set apart like Daniel; to pray and to hear the voice of God just like Daniel did.

I would like to end today’s post with an encouragement to everyone to seek God who gives peace beyond understanding; The Lord, my God, Who is a Strong Tower and all who run to Him, find comfort and refuge.

Thank you for reading or listening to today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Pray the Rosary. Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A Blessed Year By Cynthia Aralu (Audio Recording)
Listen on My Podcast @Amara’s Musings
Peace By Hillsong Young & Free. It is a wonderful song. Listen to it and be blessed!

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