Tag Archives: Catholic

Marriage

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well and remembering to pray the rosary.

Recently, I’ve taken some time to learn more about the concept of marriage as understood by the Catholic Church, so as to guide me. I vaguely recall listening to a priest on a podcast, a while ago, where he addressed a question about attending a wedding that would not take place in a Catholic Church (if I remember correctly). His response was, “No, a catholic should not attend that wedding”. This discussion stood out to me, and I stored it away in my mind.

I also remember a debate from when I was much younger about whether Catholics who completed the Nigerian traditional marriage were considered already married. Someone argued that they should be, since the traditional marriage existed long before Christianity arrived. I can’t recall my exact viewpoint during that conversation—it might have been in favor of the “White” wedding (Catholic wedding), against it, or simply confused by the complexity of the topic. At the time, I hadn’t received sufficient catechesis to be fully educated on the matter.

More recently, about a year or two ago, I had an awkward conversation with someone who had completed a “traditional Nigerian marriage”. During the discussion, I explained that, according to the Church, the individual wasn’t truly married yet and encouraged them to avoid sin before the Catholic marriage was finalized. Looking back, I realize that I must have understood that a traditional marriage wasn’t considered valid at all. However, I wasn’t entirely clear on all the reasons why. I only knew it was not and that it was my responsibility to offer advice, regardless of whether it was accepted.

Recently, despite my initial reluctance, I’ve delved into Canon Law to gain clarity. In addition to studying the law, I’ve spent time watching numerous videos, reading Catholic materials, and engaging in conversations about this topic. Although I often feel unsure and exhausted, I’ve tried my best to understand. This journey has led me to much greater clarity than I ever had before—and ultimately, it has guided me toward conversion.

First of all, baptized Catholics are governed by Canon law. This might not be widely understood by many Catholics, and I’ll admit, it was something I personally struggled to make sense of. When I think of “government,” I often associate it with countries. The idea of being governed by Canon law felt strange at first. However, upon reflection, it makes sense: I am a citizen of Heaven and the government of Heaven has a physical/visible representative here on Earth—the Church. Any discomfort or unease I feel or have felt about this authority likely stems from my own struggles with submitting to authority, not from the authority itself being invalid.

Canon law provides a framework rooted in divine law and tradition, and disobedience to it is considered immoral or sinful. While I’m not the person to determine the severity of sin for anyone (frankly struggle even for myself), I encourage studying more about the nature of sin and the three key elements that distinguish venial sins from mortal ones: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent.

As such, with regards to marriage, the Church governs the marriages of Catholics. For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament that requires adherence to Canon law for both validity and sacramentality. Canon law lays out clear guidelines regarding the sacrament of marriage, and its validity depends on meeting specific requirements, i.e. a celebration of marriage according to canonical form, including:

  • Celebration of the marriage in the presence of an authorized Catholic cleric and at least two witnesses, typically in a Catholic church, unless a dispensation is granted.
  • Celebration of the marriage according to liturgical practices established by the Church.

If a Catholic marries outside of canonical form—such as through a civil ceremony or in a non-Catholic setting without proper permissions—the marriage is considered invalid unless a bishop grants a dispensation.

In addition, when a Catholic and a non-Catholic wish to marry, they must meet the requirements set out in canon law (including the permission of the local ordinary). Without this dispensation, the marriage is deemed invalid and cannot impart sacramental grace, even if one or both parties are baptized.

Baptism is essential for sacramentality, but it’s not the only requirement. Other necessary elements include the intention to remain faithful, openness to procreation, freedom/capacity to marry, free consent, and adherence to the proper form of marriage—including the presence of an authorized cleric and witnesses.

Additionally, Canon law requires a Catholic who was previously married to obtain an annulment of their prior marriage before entering into a new one, even if the previous marriage was civil and deemed invalid. This ensures the sacramental integrity of the new marriage.

Invalid marriages can be healed by the Catholic Church, as appropriate for each case in order to bring the marriage into conformity with Church teaching and allow it to be recognized as valid. It highlights the pastoral care of the Church and its desire to guide the faithful back into good standing with the Church and God, all while considering the unique needs of each case.

It’s important to note that these guidelines apply specifically to members of the Catholic Church and doesn’t extend to non-Catholics. If you’re interested, I recommend exploring Canon law further for more information.

From my brief investigation, I have learned that attending an invalid marriage can be considered immoral, depending on the circumstances. Some adopt a firm stance, refusing to attend any invalid marriages, while others take a more flexible approach, evaluating each situation on a case-by-case basis—for example, when a marriage takes place outside the Catholic Church without a bishop’s dispensation. When it comes to unions that could involve adultery, I’ve encountered advice urging extreme caution. One perspective suggested that the morality of attending such a marriage might only become clear at the final judgment—a thought that sent a literal chill through me. However, there is a clear and consistent teaching to take a firm and resolute stand against attending same-sex marriages.

When a marriage is invalid, any immoral actions within such a union are sinful. There is also the argument that the marriage itself is immoral because it involves a violation of Canon law. This raises questions for me, particularly about the stance of the Nigerian Catholic Church. I wonder why traditional marriages often take place before Catholic church marriages if they are recognized as immoral. Is there some sort of dispensation granted in these cases? This has been a source of confusion for me, as well as for others who see no issue with civil or traditional marriages occurring before the Catholic wedding as a result of this. It is entirely possible that such practices are sinful yet have become normalized to the extent that it is now seen as good, and that is a difficult reality for me to fully grasp.

All of this feels too complex for my simple mind. My intuition is to avoid these situations altogether—or at least consider those that have the potential to become licit, where there is a clear intention to complete a Catholic marriage afterward (with a set date and plans in place). However, I recognize that I might be influenced in allowing this small exception by my background and the advice from priests I’ve come across. Is it good? I have different thoughts, and I can’t say for certain. Scandal doesn’t just affect those directly involved; its repercussions can ripple through generations. This is where my mind lingers. When I consider that, I believe avoidance is often the wisest choice, as you can never truly know if your intended good might come at a hidden cost. Ultimately, my priority is to put God first.

I don’t know enough to speak in depth about customary marriages (nigerian traditional marriage) or how the Catholic Church in Nigeria provides pre-marital counselling regarding the navigation of traditional and Catholic marriage. Typically, the traditional marriage is completed first to satisfy the cultural practice of giving a child away, and all weddings (traditional, civil, church) are often planned together and usually take place within a short time (hours, day(s) or month(s)) of each other. From what I’ve read briefly, customary marriages are legally binding under Nigerian law. I’m also aware that some Catholics consider customary marriages to be valid. Unfortunately, Nigerian Catholics can easily fall into sin if they are misled, poorly taught, or influenced negatively by culture or scandal. This is why, when I was much younger, I was in a discussion with fellow Catholics about whether customary marriage alone is sufficient. Personally, I am starting to think the traditional marriage may not be necessary for me but we’ll see since culture is beautiful to have in one’s life but never at the expense of faith and morals.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to any Catholic that I wholeheartedly believe in the truths revealed by the Catholic Church in Canon law and the precepts of the Church, or that as a result, I decide to live my life through the lens of the truths revealed by the Catholic Church, to the best of my ability and I do not intend to reject any truths revealed by the Catholic church, all by the grace of God and the moulding hands of Mother Mary. I can understand a non-Catholic disagreeing with me. However, when the disagreement comes from a fellow Catholic, it fills me with a sense of relational dissonance, loneliness, exhaustion, uncertainty, and a deep longing for God.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used to refine this write up and also garner some information.

A lovely song to listen to!

Consecration to Jesus through the Hands of Mary

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! I hope you are all doing well and you remember to pray the rosary.

For quite a while now, I’ve felt as though I have nothing meaningful to share—like I have no voice. Whenever I wanted to express something, it always seemed like the timing was off, or my words came across as too harsh and unrefined. With that in mind, I could offer you a glimpse into my current thoughts and direct you to a consecration course to Jesus through the hands of Mary.

1. The concept of “unconditional love,” as it is often interpreted to mean, that is, the enabling of evil for the sake of love, is a distortion. Reflecting on the verse, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”, we see that God, who is Love, has demonstrated the depth of His love for the world. Yet, He also made clear that only those who believe in His Son, sent as a perfect sacrifice, will have eternal life.

This highlights that holy love—the highest and purest form of love—maintains boundaries while remaining enduring, as mercy itself is an expression of love. You are loved as you are, but called and nurtured to be the best. This is the true definition of unconditional love. Any love that strays from or fails to align with God’s Holy Love becomes an aberration, no longer love but a corruption of the term. I believe this is reason people do not believe in love or the transformative power of love. They have imagined in their heads what love is not and defined it as love and their imaginations have failed them.

2. The world and its people are steeped in corruption—a truth that should not come as a surprise. I felt the weight of this truth profoundly last year when I renewed my consecration to Jesus through the Hands of Mary. I do not exclude myself from this observation. It is difficult to truly grasp the depth of corruption embedded in the mind of someone who has lived an unguarded life, shaped and influenced by evil perspectives. Recently, this feeling has grown remarkably intense.

Consider this: “Mary is the supreme masterpiece of Almighty God and He has reserved the knowledge and possession of her for Himself”. Yet “Mary being a mere creature fashioned by the hands of God is, compared to his infinite majesty, less than an atom, or rather is simply nothing, since He alone can say, ‘I am He who is'”. Mary herself knew and believed this truth, proclaiming, “I am the handmaid/slave of God… He has regarded the low estate of His handmaiden… He has put down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of low degree”.

Reflect further: “God the Father gave his only Son to the world only through Mary. Whatever desires the patriarchs may have cherished, whatever entreaties the prophets and saints of the Old Law may have had for 4,000 years to obtain that treasure, it was Mary alone who merited it and found grace before God by the power of her prayers and the perfection of her virtues. “The world being unworthy,” said Saint Augustine, “to receive the Son of God directly from the hands of the Father, He gave His Son to Mary for the world to receive Him from her.” The Son of God became man for our salvation but only in Mary and through Mary. God the Holy Spirit formed Jesus Christ in Mary but only after having asked her consent through one of the chief ministers of His court.” See “Treatise on True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin”, by St. Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort

Now considering that Mary is esteemed greatly but is nothing in comparison with God, and her merits far surpass those of the saints in Heaven—who are themselves esteemed to the extent of their merits—by this true measure, I recognize how wretched I am.

3. Since “Mary loves Jesus ardently and glorifies Him more perfectly than all of God’s other creatures—saints and angels alike”, it follows that honoring Mary and the saints brings honor and glory to God. In the same vein, all creation, whether in heaven, on earth, under the earth, or in the sea, rightly gives God praise. Who could do this more perfectly when praised and honored than Mary and the saints in Heaven? Consider Mary: when praised by her cousin St. Elizabeth, her immediate response was a song of praise to God, proclaiming, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior…” This truth should be as evident as when one gives charity to the less fortunate and brings glory and praise to God—whether through the grateful lips of those helped, the hearts of those who witness or learn of the event, or by the charitable deed itself inspired by God. Similarly, when the saints in heaven are honored, they give glory of God as a sort of reflection, having been conformed to Him to the extent they have merited. See “Treatise on True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin”, by St. Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort

4. There is a noticeable inconsistency between truly serving God and what some individuals, who believe they are serving Him, deem acceptable—such as reading books or watching movies with pornographic content in their homes. This is just one example, yet it has become so normalized for some that their conscience has grown desensitized. They may believe their conscience is clear, even when confronted with this truth from an external observer.

5. It is inconsistent to claim to “believe and follow all the teachings of the Catholic Church” while accepting or engaging in certain practices that contradict its teachings. Allow me to list a few examples: being complacent about your children leaving the Catholic Church, speaking about confession as though it is optional, speaking negatively about devotion to the saints, accepting the use of contraception, abusing the sanctity of the marital bed, or considering IVF as an acceptable option.

A recent instance that left me unsettled involves the engagement with content where someone, under the label of ‘Christian prophecy’, examined palms to predict the future. I have been cautious in describing the activity as it was relayed to me, refraining from attaching specific labels to it. However, I was informed that it is not considered divination or palm reading—or that palm reading, in this context, is not divination—but I struggle to see how the conclusion could be otherwise, even if it is rare in its occurrence, as I’ve been told. I believe the truth will come out one day.

Ironically, it would be better to follow all the teachings of the Catholic Church in simplicity, even without raising “wise questions” or trying to be wise in one’s own eyes, as such simplicity in faith could make one truly wise.

6. There is no greater mother than Mary. Even if I falter, I trust her to guide me back to true contrition and repentance. I rely on her to show me the best way to please her Son, Jesus, who, in His love, has chosen to be my brother. This was once a source of concern for me, but through the consecration course, I learned to entrust myself to her care. Now, I feel a deep sense of peace, knowing that she intercedes for me before Jesus.

7. Why go to Jesus through Mary? It pleases Jesus, as it is the most perfect way He chose to come to us, and thus the most perfect way for us to go to Him. Furthermore, since Jesus is God, just as God the Father is God, and we have been given Jesus Christ as a Mediator between us and the Father, it is fitting that Jesus, being God, would also have a mediator. Out of His profound humility and perfection, He gave us Mary—not out of necessity, but because it is the most humble and perfect way He chose to unite Himself with humanity in the flesh; through her.

Humility is not easy, and in today’s world, its meaning has been lost. Many have also lost a sense of a Holy Fear of God, to the point where roles and stations are no longer given their due regard. I personally grapple with the concept of humility, as it feels foreign to me. Yet, in Heaven, hierarchies exist as part of God’s divine order.

8. There is a consecration course set to begin on March 24th, led by the Heralds of the gospel. I will renew my consecration to Jesus again this year by God’s grace.

“The Consecration Course is based on the Treatise on True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin, by St. Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort, a prophetic work and a theological document of the utmost importance. A daily video lesson will be on Heralds of the Gospel’s online catholic course platform (“Reconquest Platform“)”. 

  • “The first class, on the evening of the 24th of march, will be a Live on Youtube at https://live.heralds.org/
    On consequent days, you will be able to attend each day’s class at your convenience. The classes will be recorded and will be available from 5 a.m. 
  • To easily receive all the information, you can join their WhatsApp group – although this is not necessary: click here.
  • Send any questions you have to: consecration@heralds.org
  • To join the consecration course, sign up at this link: https://consecration.heralds.org/slei
  • Alternatively, if you are wary of links, google “Reconquest Platform Heralds of the Gospel”. It should be easy enough to navigate to the free consecration course that starts on March 24th and ends on April 26th.
True Devotion to Mary By St. Louis Marie de MontfortDownload

Here is an another excerpt from the True Devotion to Mary: Consequently, this great Lord, who is ever independent and self-sufficient, never had and does not now have any absolute need of the Blessed Virgin for the accomplishment of His will and the manifestation of His glory. To do all things He has only to will them. 15. However, I declare that, considering things as they are, because God has decided to begin and accomplish His greatest works through the Blessed Virgin ever since He created her, we can safely believe that He will not change His plan in the time to come, for He is God and therefore does not change in His thoughts or His way of acting.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

Note: Co-pilot was used to refine this write up.

A Happy Death

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

Have you ever wondered what a happy death is? I did at the start of my reversion to the Catholic faith, since I prayed the Rosary regularly; the intention of the 4th Glorious Mystery (The Assumption of Mother Mary into Heaven) being a “Happy Death”, and presently, it is regularly on my mind.

I suppose at the start of my reversion, I might have imagined a happy death to mean a good death. I am trying to recall what conclusion I came to at the start. What is a good death? Is it to live comfortable, amassing wealth, love, fame, and then to die, and to cease to exist? The Catholic belief is that those who die in God’s grace, go to Heaven eventually, after a purification process. The Word of God says, “Nothing unclean will see God.”. So, is it possible to go straight to Heaven? One would have to be completely purified at the moment of death for them to go to Heaven straight away and how many can be so confident, without being foolish, that at the moment of their death, they have renounced all attachments and cling solely to God. I think I have heard it spoken of that it is also a Catholic belief that you can go straight to heaven after you die. Blessed Carlo Acutis spoke of going straight to Heaven. I think St. Therese of the Child Jesus did as well. St. Therese is a gem amongst gems. Then, there is St. Cecilia, who I learnt of recently and I was so in awe of. I think she went straight to heaven. She is so pure and beautiful. When I think of the saints, I think of how I am nothing like them.

I think I heard it said a “Happy Death” is to die in God’s grace and not about living a good life and then dying, by man’s standards. I suppose I might have imagined dying in my sleep, free of troubles and illness, when I considered a “good death”. I know of someone who prayed to die free of illness or long illness. I do not know if she died that way. I came to a place of no fear about death, and even thought recently that I could be dying while I slept one night. I felt myself floating upwards in that dream and thought, “Am I dying?”. I resigned myself to it and prayed, “Father, welcome me into your arms”. Then, I remembered I ought to pray for the forgiveness of my sins, which I did. Immediately, I prayed a prayer of contrition, it felt like my soul was slammed back into my body. I don’t know if the following happened right after, but while my eyes were still closed, an image of a smiling woman carrying a baby took shape in my head. It was like a drawing coming to completion. I remember clearly that at least either the woman or the child had chubby cheeks, possibly both did. And their youth, beauty, and cuteness was so evident. I have never seen that drawing in real life. I thought it was Jesus and Mary as I watched. This happened the Sunday of the first week of October.

I have watched people say it is normal to regret not doing a lot of things before dying. I have also heard it said it is naive not to fear dying even a little bit. Additionally, I heard it said it is foolish to just want to die, without considering the need to receive final rites or viaticum, and that it is the way to have a “Good Death”, and perhaps there was talk of a battle that happens at the moment of death. This is my interpretation of the things spoken. Perhaps, I misunderstand these people. I have considered those lines of thinking and perhaps I am the most foolish of them all for not being encumbered by such ways of thinking.

I have concluded that those ways of thinking produce fear, and I lay all my fear and anxiety at the feet of Jesus, at the foot of His cross, begging Him to redeem it and redeem me to glory of His Name, for my salvation and the salvation of others.

While having final rites done for you is a good thing, do I think everyone who have died or will die without final rites do not have a fighting chance of going straight to heaven or that they have less of a chance? The battle is God’s after all. Do I think I have a fighting chance at any point in my life, apart from the abundance and unending nature of God’s grace and mercy and Mary’s intercession for me.

I imagine even if I stood before Him and I was accused of the most heinous crimes and they were all found to be true, He is justified in condemning me, because He is all good and all righteous and I will accept His righteous judgement as true, without forgetting as well another truth, that even though there is no good in me, the Mercy of God never ceases, and I would beg for mercy with all the confidence of a child that knows it is loved without measure. This is a prayer and hope of mine. And so, I pray frequently and earnestly for a “Happy Death”, knowing that I will never be surrounded by love on this earth to the magnitude that I would be when I get to Heaven. I also earnestly run to the Blessed Virgin, ever confident in her love and intercession for me. I pray that Jesus and Mary are there at the moment of my death to lead me to Heaven. Knowing me, I will get lost without them.

I imagine a “Happy life” will be dictated by union with God after death or should I say a “Happy death”. I will be able to say “I lived a full life”, when I am in Heaven, not before. I count my life as loss, if it means I am separated from God. A happy life to me, is a life which terminates in friendship with God, whether rich or poor, loved or hated, young or old. There is no reason to despise the rich or to despise the hated or consider them going to a worse place than you are when death comes. You do not see their heart or know their destination and you could be wrong about them. The same God who loves you, loves them too. You would be better off praying for them to get to Heaven, not forgetting to pray for yourself too. So, I think there is no right station to be assigned to in this life, only a right way of living; a life lived loving God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, with your whole might, a life lived loving your neighbour as yourself. Go and learn what that entails by seeking God through Jesus, while He still can be found, and do it in truth. He will draw near to you.

I think I should say that I am not encouraging sinning so that God’s mercy presses even greater upon you. It should be obvious but it isn’t always.

I will end this post with the prayer from the Divine Mercy Prayer that I encourage people to pray and meditate on: “Eternal God in Whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon me and increase Your mercy in me, that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will which is love and mercy itself”. You see, it really is in showing mercy or in the abundance of mercy that is in us, that we are able to hope that mercy will be shown to us. I just realized this.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song! Take a listen!

“Love”

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Remember to pray the Rosary!

I have been going through some things which I shan’t go into details about, but I will say this, I have learnt that a stranger will give love more readily than someone you consider close. Better to run to that stranger, than someone you think is close. But a stranger is a stranger for a reason, and I think as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt…hmmm, or is it disrespect. Better yet, run to God Who never fails.

I flinched when someone told me “I love you.”. It is hard to hear those words when you have been beat up emotionally by the person saying them. The words became easier to digest over time, to understand and to love. I cannot take credit for this transformation. Only God can do this.

I also prayed and hoped to God for something I desired. I moved forward courageously, when I had not a lot of courage, and prayed fervently for His peace. I thought I heard Him say to go forward but things did not work out as I had hoped. I wondered if indeed I had heard Him. Maybe not but also maybe I did. I do know looking back at it from a close distance, I can see that I have learnt some things from the experience so far. I have a richer understanding of what it means when God forgives you. It is written that God forgets your sins when you repent, and He forgives you. It all made sense to me amid a chaotic moment that was unrelated in matter to God’s revelation to me, but congruent in weight or depth of expression. The potent revelation I received made me realize in a striking manner which my soul is wont not to forget, that I will not crucify myself for my mistakes and God does not want me to do so either. “As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our sins from us”. “I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”

Oh, I felt ecstatic and hopeful when things did not go my way, and instead of grief, I thought to myself that this is all for the Glory of God, for my salvation and the salvation of others. Later on, I felt grief, but it did not overtake me like it had in the past. It made me long for the Heavenly Jerusalem just like Abraham and the saints did. I told Him that perhaps I did hear from Him and I will take this event as discipline. God disciplines those He loves, so He must love me so much. God loves me so much, this I know.

Afterwards, I considered the love between a husband and a wife. I have been trying to have a God-like view of what that dynamic is supposed to look like. I remembered the portion of the bible where St. Peter exhorts wives to treat their husbands in the manner Sarah did, when she obeyed Abraham and called him ‘lord’. I was critical of the word “lord”. What did that mean? It sounded reverent but also, I couldn’t help but think about subjugation combined with inflexibility, judgementality, hypocrisy and inconsideration. I know of a traditional, catholic man who was this way. I also know of a middle class protestant Christian who was very considerate to his wife, he treated his wife like an egg. I know of a rich, liberal man who was conservative when it soothed him, so his wife suffered because he did not help whether by contract or by self, and he did not encourage the best for his wife. Finally, I know of a traditional African man from a largely patriarchal society, who did not want His wife to cook, hired help for her and of his own volition, made arrangements for her to get a higher education. That African man would have been made perfect if in other ways, had he practiced the Christian faith, and yet he was quite generous in nature in a lot of ways and God blessed him. It is an irony that the faithless are able to love in ways that the supposed faithful do not.

My mind also wondered if the vision of calling your husband “lord” could be akin to the victorian era where some men were called lords and some women were called ladies. To them, it might have been a surface synergy of Class meets Class on a level of some sort, but to Christians, should it not be a synergy of joint heirs to the grace of life; one heir of the Kingdom of God to another?

To my mind, I have only one Lord. My mind moved on to another bible verse when I considered how my Lord displayed His Lordship, and in turn taught through his actions and words, how the disciples ought to treat one another. It was on the day He washed their feet, a day before they would desert Him, and one would betray Him. Knowing this, He washed their feet. At another time He said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

A lord by this definition is one who is a slave and servant of his wife, and pours himself out completely, without counting the cost, to the point of death. I looked up at the picture of the cross at the moment this came to mind while praying…or perhaps I was looking at it already without registering it. I should have been meditating on the “Crucifixion of Christ” because I was praying the seven sorrows, but my mind had been restless. In any case, the love I am considering is a life-giving love. It is so powerful that I stumbled over my thoughts. A healed woman or a woman open to healing would desire or crave to submit to that man and defend that man wherever she went to. She would sing his praises everywhere and she would be able to trust him.

And so, I asked God, “What man can love like that?” I wondered if it was even possible but then again, I remembered St. Therese of the Child Jesus. I had never gone through any writing of anyone before her, I don’t think, who burned with a desire for martyrdom. No one except Jesus. Although, as I write this now, a few do come to mind. I heard the account of St. Ignatius recently, how he begged the early Christians not to save him from being torn apart by lions. St. Paul as well….oh, and another saint who did evangelical work, but I do not recall his name. All things are possible through God’s grace.

If I am to consider this idea further as I write this, “We love because Christ first loved us.”. The man loves first through dying to himself and calls out a submissive expression of love from the woman. That is not to say that love must always be received for it to be given. On the contrary, I believe there is infinitely more merit in loving when you are not loved. I think one would be better off with a lot of prayer, placing greater scrutiny on the type of dynamic or relationship one chooses to have great proximity to for the rest of their life, and face (focus on) God whether or not they are blessed with this, and if not given, to die with joy and go to God. So, I am in fact considering a healed dynamic or one open to being healed when I write about a submissive expression of love which a man call out of a woman through loving in dying to self. On the other hand, the woman submits even though the man fails, and the man loves sacrificially even when the woman fails. It is easier said than done. That is why one should pray to God if in that situation, that God should help one love. God is always ready and willing to help you love. I know this because He always helped me whenever I asked for help to love….to be patient.

I do not understand the saying that one can love without respecting, perhaps this is why I have difficulty. I subscribe to the bible’s view of love and it is not bound or limited to gender. “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. Looking at this, I cannot believe respect can be separated from love, so, I do not know how one could prefer to be respected over being loved. I wonder though, if the respect some men claim they want is the stroking of their ego, the fanning of their pride. This is what I have observed from a small sample size. But then again, I am not married and some might think me bitter because of it. Ultimately, what do I know except what I have observed, and what is the point I am trying to make by writing all of this?

I suppose the point of this is to share my thoughts, so that in doing so, someone out there does not feel alone in this vastness that is the universe; the point of my blog really, lest I forget.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song you can listen to!

Heartbroken

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary.

I wondered if I should post this. I wrote it down in my notes to remind me of the goodness of God to me. I considered if it will ever go up here, prayed about it as I edited my notes, and left it alone. But on seeing a clip from The Chosen about Jesus begging Thomas to stay with Him, I feel it is right to post this here.

Last week Wednesday on 17Jul2024, I got to work, sat at my desk, logged on to my computer like I normally do, ready to get to work, when suddenly the thought which had occurred to me earlier as I got ready for work came back to me, and I began to sob for close to 10 – 15 minutes or more. My thoughts began at not being skilled at anything else but clinical research and also not being the best at what I do. Then, I believe I sobbed about everything going on with me; I sobbed about how it all overwhelms me and how I do not know what to do. I felt so tired deep in my soul and my heart hurt, so I massaged it several times that day. I reached out in my mind for a hug from Jesus on the cross. My prayer felt so much stronger later in the day, when I said the Divine Mercy Chaplet while meditating on the sorrowful mystery. My eyes welled up with tears as I prayed, although it did not come crashing down my face. I think my heart hurt all through work and I tried to stay cheerful but mostly did not speak that day, not that I speak a lot normally. I surmised that I was heartbroken. I could imagine that it could be a little of how Jesus felt since He was a man of sorrows, well acquainted with grief. That thought brought me a burst of joy in the midst of grief. 

I went to church after work and prayed at the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe and I told Our Lady about my exhaustion. I didn’t say much by way of prayer. I mostly just sat there. Then, I moved on to the tabernacle where Jesus is, and knelt to pray. While I prayed, the hurt in my heart went away without a trace, and I felt strength and consoled. So, I said to Jesus, “Look how powerful You are. I am here and I am better.” I hadn’t even prayed for the pain to go away. I was in the middle of giving thanks for God’s goodness to me, being penitent and telling Him about my day (mingled with petitions), like I usually do, when I realized it was gone. 

My feeling and thought even as I marvelled at the power of Jesus was that, “I don’t want to be here”, and a part of me wondered if His healing meant He made me better so that I can keep going. I didn’t want to be ungrateful, so, I gave thanks. I know He could turn the situation around with less than a breath, less than the minutest of energy, but I did not want to be here to find out. I don’t know how to describe this feeling. I was grateful but also didn’t care about seeing it all come to be in the future. So, I told Him that I still don’t want to be here and asked Him to take me out of here; “not the church per se, but here”, I kept saying. Deep down, I knew, “here” meant “this world” and I know He knows this too. I apologized 2 nights ago to God because I think I was ungrateful on that day, and also, I felt the ache at odd times 2 days ago. It is not here today as I write this.

I do not think it is thoroughly virtuous to feel this way because I would still want to choose how it happens, however, there is still some virtue and complete honesty in it and for that I give thanks to God.

On writing my notes about my grief of this day, I have become aware that I had the dream about Our Lady of Perpetual Help in the early hours of 17th of July, the same day this happened to me, and also came across the prayer card that night. It makes me realize Mother Mary and Jesus were trying to tell me they are here for me and I am thankful to Her and I am thankful to God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

All glory and praise be to our God! Amen.

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A good song to listen to.

Catholic Teaching: Cooperation and Double Effect

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone! Pray the Rosary!

I said in a previous post that I could not find a catholic teaching that pointed specifically to my job situation but there are actually catholic teachings. I saw them in the publication and did not realize they were actual Catholic teachings. I also did not read the entire publication, only areas I felt pertained to me. So, two teachings among others considered in the publication are: The Principle of Double Effect and The Principle of Cooperation in Evil. Read more here: A Catholic Guide to Ethical Research

The principle of double effect is a moral guide developed over several centuries in the Catholic moral tradition, designed to help ensure that an act which has both good and bad likely effects will be morally good. 

Cooperation in evil is any specific assistance knowingly and freely given to the morally evil act of another person or institution. A cooperator is the person or institution that provides this assistance, and a “principal agent” is the person or institution whose immoral act is assisted by the cooperator. 

I must admit knowing the teachings does not automatically translate to understanding how to apply it to every given situation. I found it unclear, but this is a limitation of my understanding, not necessarily the teaching.

I have focused more on the examples which were given in the publication to gain understanding, and also the below principles laid out in the publication:

“In crafting morally acceptable wording, the following principles should be followed:

a. Subjects should not be required to use contraception. 

i. However, subjects can be required to take appropriate precautions to avoid pregnancy or fathering a child. 

ii. The level of certainty with which pregnancy is to be avoided may be specified in the protocol. 

b. The subjects must be free to choose how they will avoid becoming pregnant or fathering a child, although as noted above the level of certainty may be specified. 

c. It is permissible to convey information to subjects on the effectiveness of various methods of pregnancy prevention, and verify their understanding, as long as it is clear that use of contraceptives is not required. Conveying information but not requiring contraception is not immoral cooperation, because the writer or health professional is providing factual information that is in the public domain, which is morally different than advocating or encouraging the use of contraception. 

d. Abstinence should always be included as an acceptable method for avoiding pregnancy or fathering a child. 

e. Certain methods of preventing pregnancy may be prohibited. For example, birth control pills may be prohibited in studies where drug interactions with oral contraceptives could occur and pose a safety risk or otherwise alter the outcome of the study.

f. Abortion is never permissible as a method of birth control.”

I saw a priest about it twice and I also enlisted the help of my brother for an impartial assessment. Another priest advised me to look up catholic teaching, to get someone to help me discern (which is the reason I used my brother and read the publication better to realize it is actual catholic teaching) and that he will also read up on it as well. One priest and my brother have confirmed that I am not cooperating in evil based on the principles mentioned above.

I don’t understand the first principle stated above since to prevent pregnancy is to use contraception whether by natural methods including abstinence, or non-natural methods including pills and devices. And if it is a requirement to join the study that one must prevent pregnancy, then the subjects are required to use contraception. It could be that the authors of the publication don’t consider “behaviour” as a form of contraception when they mention contraception should not be required but appropriate measures can be required to prevent pregnancy.

There is also a lack of control I have in the implementation of these protocol/ICFs.

I am thankful to God that all this has caused me to spot an omission in a document which has not been implemented yet.

Depending on where you read, abstinence is considered a birth control method. Alberta Health Services, the jurisdiction I work under, lists abstinence as a birth control method (Birth control methods), but just because it says so today, does not mean it will say so tomorrow.

I think it is suspect if a lot of society do not include abstinence as a method of birth control when it is the only way that is 100% certain of preventing pregnancy when used consistently. No one bats an eye about the possibility that oral pills or condoms may be used inconsistently or the accidents that can happen with the condom, but a lot of people become lawyers and warriors when it comes to arguing about the impracticality of using sexual abstinence. It is hard not to see there is an agenda here.

I have been sexually abstinent for years now. It is a way of life. I don’t think about it. I just am. I don’t believe I am the only one. The culture is so harmful in making people believe they are the only one being sexually abstinent; they are odd; they will not be wanted; there is something wrong with them. I think the right way is to have properly ordered desires. The point of procreation is to have children and for bonding between a husband and a wife. Anything outside of that is disordered. Yet, disorder is praised highly and given the golden stamp.

When I was younger, I felt the pressure to not be celibate because society seemed to condemn people who were “virgins” and I felt weird for not being like everyone else.

Society mentions that birth control methods like pills and devices give you the freedom to choose when you can be pregnant but it is a false sense of freedom if a person has no control over their desires. Essentially, to not have control over one’s desires is to be a slave to one’s desires. The ones who are truly free are the ones who have control over their desires. That is the ideal goal. Nobody says it is easy but through the power of the Holy Spirit and persistence, humility and courage in drawing close to the throne of mercy to Jesus; that is how you will become free. “Now, The Lord is Spirit, and where The Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

On a final note, pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A song you could listen to!

Hope

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone! Pray the Rosary!

I started off before I began to write this, to pray to God for His help with writing this post on Hope. I told Him that I don’t really know if I am the best to write about “Hope” and I do not know much what to say about it, but I had kind of decided earlier, I believe during morning prayer, that it would be the topic of writing for my next post. My thought in prayer was a conversation I had with a colleague of mine yesterday.

I have been making job applications for close to a year now if not more, since the one I have now is temporary. I have had 3 initial interviews which have not proceeded to the next. The last one, I seemed to have offended the lady by telling her “Thank you for reaching out to me.” Her displeasure was so evident on her face and her body language. She practically reclined back in her chair in that moment with a displeased expression on her face, that I did not understand what I did to offend her, so, I had to explain my reason for saying thank you, by adding, “I appreciate it.” The giveaway was her eagerness to tell me her concern about a lack of experience in a particular therapeutic area, when I had asked her something different, i.e., if there was something she needed clarity on from what I had shared with her. My lack of experience in dermatology was clearly stated in my application, since it is one of their intake questions. Her reaction after my “Thank you” was another giveaway. My consideration from the experience was I was glad I did not lie about my experience. I feel like she tried to trip my up, when she stated an experience which I did not have and I don’t believe I claimed to have it anywhere. This could be an assumption, but her smile/mini-laugh when I denied having the experience was strange to me. My joy is that I refuted it and put away my desperation or desire for a job. I suppose I also considered afterwards that I should have taken the word I believe now was from God, telling me to rest, while I prepared late into the night for the interview. How many times have I not listened to that voice because while I considered it might be from God, I wondered if it came from me?

This and the other rejections I have received, including the other 2 pre-interviews, have not hurt me so much. I have been thankful to God so much that it does not hurt anymore. My hunger is for God to show me what exactly He would like me to do. And I have begun to wonder if that is clinical research, since I have started to have some concerns about a certain part of clinical research, in relation to my faith, and I am starting to wonder if I am complicit in evil. I spoke to a priest about it and he assured me that I am not, although after leaving him, I wondered if I was clear enough to him about the extent of my involvement. I am unclear on that point in my memory. Although, recently, I remembered that it is possible that I did mention it to him. I have to book another appointment to clarify this again. I feel silly when these things happen but what am I to do about it? He did say I could leave the field of clinical research if I continue to be bothered about it, and encouraged me to pray to God for discernment. I think a part of me knows I am not doing anything wrong but for clarity sake, I must ask. I also have to think if I am indeed proud of the work that I am involved in.

So, these are the things I have been thinking about, first and foremost and not necessarily the rejections. I have praying for direction into the job or vocation that God is calling me into. I do not know what it is or could be.

My conversation with my colleague yesterday was a topic on the Job opening at my workplace which I applied for which is a project manager role in clinical research (Although I am applying broadly to any project management role and praying God places me in the one He feels is best). My colleague feels I am so qualified, with my PMP certification and experience in project management that I had to tell her that I try not to raise my hopes too high. She mentioned that I must have some hope if I am applying. So, I explained in my brief way of speaking that “I do not hope in myself. I hope in God.” She stared at me in consideration. I tried to convey to her that if my skills were ultimate, I would have a job now. I don’t know if my explanation carried as far as I wished to convey it, since in person, I use so few words. One thing I know is, God is ultimate and greater than anything and I wish to please Him, as best as I can. I am not saying I am perfect. I make so many mistakes and sometimes, I do not know if I am doing the right thing. Other times, what seemed right, ends up looking wrong to me and bringing me grief that I think I would prefer my free will taken away by God but what do I know.

I know that God is more than able to give me more and better than I can ever imagine. If He chooses not to give me in this life, I look forward to the feast and treasure that awaits me in Heaven. I only ask for the grace to move on to all that He desires for me.

On a final note, Pray the Rosary!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A peaceful chant you might enjoy! Listen to find out!

Holiness

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hi everyone. Pray the Rosary!

Last year on June 08, I pondered deeply after watching an IG reel of a non-Catholic Christian where she had scornfully said Catholicism is a religion that believes in objects or something like that but Christians believe only in Jesus. It inspired me to write a lot of words and post on my IG story and a series of events since then and especially yesterday, have moved me think more on holiness, so I intend to share all here.

My thoughts last year reached the high point that Holiness has an all-permeating characteristic. Oftentimes, we see a lot of evil in the world and it is easy to see its pervasiveness, its reach, that it may seem harder to see the permeating nature of holiness. But think about it, because of the righteousness of Abraham (faith, belief and obedience to God), we were able to have Jesus sent to us, and, in the same vein, because of the grace of God, the early christians and christians throughout 2000 years have been able to persist in Holiness and spread the news of the gospel, despite persecution and widespread evil. 

I should say this so no one is confused. Human beings are not able to do any good work without the grace of God or God at work in them, whether or not they acknowledge Him and thank Him for His Goodness; although the good rendered by the unbelieving lacks perfection, since God is the source of all Good and all Holiness, since God is all Good and all Holiness and they have not acknowledged or thanked Him.

In other examples of all-permeating holiness, the Israelites threw a dead man into Elisha’s grave and the dead man came back to life (2 Kings 13:20-21). It is easy for human beings to see this good work and think Elisha did this but it is not very fruitful thinking. It was the power of God permeating through a holy man even in his death; the proof or sign that God is with the man. In this day and age, it would be called superstition by certain groups, even among those who bear the title of “Christians, be they Catholic or non-catholic”, to believe in the ability of God to work through the dead bones of holy men and women.

Another such example is when the woman with an issue of blood touched the hem of Jesus’ garment in faith that doing so would heal her of her hemorrhage and her hemorrhage stopped (Luke 8:43-48). Jesus’s garment once again is just a garment, but in her faith, an object (garment) of God, Who is Holy, was able to permeate God’s Holiness and heal the one who had faith.

Another such example of the belief and practice of this by the early christians can be found in Acts 19:11-13, where it is written: “And God did extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul, so that handkerchiefs or aprons were carried away from his body to the sick, and diseases left them and the evil spirits came out of them.”  

A church that holds fast to the traditions, practices and belief of the early church/Christians, as taught either by word of mouth or by their letters/writings is the Catholic Church (2 Thessalonians 2:15) since its institution by Jesus. And like my mom always said to me, because I too was once a cynic and sceptic, like any who doubts and has reservations about the holding of objects in any esteem, “It is all about one’s faith in God to heal them or help them in anyway through that object”. Last year, I came to realize that even I who constantly said there is nothing God cannot do, did not fully believe it at one point. We are meant to live in this world and not be stained by it (James 1:27), regardless of the lies that are pervasive throughout the world. And we are called to remember that where sin abounds, grace abounds even more (Romans 5:20).

Yesterday, I went to daily mass and hoped to meet a priest who would bless two new rosaries (for me and my mom) and a Crucifix for the house which I bought. I knew it would be difficult to see a priest after mass as I am a regular at daily mass at this parish, so I hoped to go into the confessional and ask any priest I see there, as I have done before. When I got to the church, I noticed a long queue for confession so I abandoned my plans and decided to go pray in front of the Tabernacle instead. One of my prayers to Jesus was to provide for me a “Holy” priest to bless the Rosaries and Crucifix. I wanted the best priest for this blessing and I know it was uncommon to see any priest before leaving the church but still I hoped. After mass, I considered leaving, but instead I stopped by the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe and prayed there “The Little Crown of the Blessed Virgin Mary”. Afterwards as I made to leave I saw a priest standing in front of the altar. There were a group of people seated at the front pews but the priest was not addressing them. Anyway, I knew God had answered my prayer, so, I approached him, and he blessed the rosaries and the crucifix.

After I left, I considered that the priest had not been my expectation if I were to think of the holiest priest. I will refrain from stating his very visible imperfections. So, it made to ponder deeper about the answer God had given me. You might think that I was judging him but believe me, it was not the case. If I did, I would have walked out of the church when I saw him, but I walked to him and asked for him to bless the rosaries and the crucifix. I did not have any priest in mind but to my perception from what I have seen and even experienced in meeting him yesterday, I did not necessarily perceive him to be the holiest, but God considered him Holy and the best for me. So, I must conform my thoughts to the thoughts of God, and also learn how I might apply it to all aspects of my life, even how I regard myself. I am Holy because God made me Holy and it is through the mercy of God, likewise this priest and all priests by virtue of their consecration to do the Work of God. I suppose the call for me as well is to pray when I see a lack in someone and subsequently in myself so that I do not fall as well.

I remember a dream I had last month, on May 12, because I wrote it down and I saw it moments ago. While dreaming or on the edge of waking up, I think I heard a woman’s voice counsel me that I am not responsible for the strength of my prayers. I am not sure if this is what I heard though because the experience feels hazy, but this is the message that stuck with me upon waking up. It made me caution against ascribing the potency of God’s response to my prayer to any advancement in holiness on my part but rather to the mercy of God. 

With that in mind, I give thanks to God for His goodness to me, for all answered prayer, all imperceptibly advanced prayers, and unanswered prayers. All Glory and Praise be to Our God!

Pray the Rosary.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Remember to like this post and share it with your friends if you enjoyed it. Follow me on my blog, Katmira’s blog or my podcast, Amara’s Musings, to receive notifications whenever I have a new post. You can also subscribe below to get an email notification whenever a new post is out. This is particularly helpful if you don’t have a WordPress account.

Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song written and sung by a friend. Listen to it!

Pray the Rosary

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By Cynthia Aralu

Hello everyone. Pray the Rosary.

This week, within a short period of time, I started and completed the book “The Secret of the Rosary” written by St. Louis Marie de Montfort, thanks to the audiobook on Spotify. See link here: The Secret of the Rosary

It is the most powerful book I have ever read in my entire life, next to the Bible, that is. The Bible slapped some sense into me, but this book has given me an exponential increase in trust in the Blessed Virgin even as I read it and it has given more meaning to the “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”, “The Creed”, and the meditations on the life, death and glory of Jesus Christ, which really is all taken from the Bible. I have also realized the importance of praying the Rosary on my knees. My prayer to the Blessed Virgin is to make it as though I was born out of her womb, the same womb that carried Jesus, through the power of Holy Spirit at work, and to be my mom in every way possible it is to be a mom, so I can be like Jesus.

I will leave some beautiful quotes taken from the book here so that your mind might be enlightened.

“For no one can possibly be saved without the knowledge of Jesus Christ. And yet a man who knows absolutely nothing of any of the other sciences will be saved as long as he is illumined by the science of Jesus Christ. Blessed is the Rosary that gives us this science and knowledge of our Blessed Lord, through our meditations on His Life, Death, Passion and Glory.” – St. Louis Marie de Montfort. 

“If only these poor, wretched sinners will say My Rosary, they will share in the merits of My passion and I would be their advocate and I would appease My Father’s Justice. ” – Our Lord to Blessed Alan de la Roche

“There is no other way to arrive at perfection than to meditate on our Lord’s passion” – St. Michael the Archangel sent by our Lord to St. Mary Magdalene. Then he placed a cross in the front of her cave and told her to pray before it contemplating the sorrowful mysteries which she had seen take place with her own eyes. 

“After the Holy sacrifice of the mass, there is no finer devotion than the Holy Rosary, which is like a second memorial and representation of the life and passion of our Lord Jesus Christ” – Our Lady to Blessed Alan de la Roche

“Whenever a person in a state of grace says the rosary while meditating on the mysteries of the life and passion of Jesus Christ, he obtains full and entire remission of all his sins.” – Our Lady to Venerable Dominic the Carthusian

“Although there are numerous indulgences already attached to the recitation of my Rosary, I shall add many more to every 50 Hail Marys, each group of 5 decades for those who say them devoutly on their knees, being of course free from mortal sin, and whosoever shall persevere in the devotion of the Holy Rosary saying these prayers and meditations shall be rewarded for it. I shall obtain for him full remission of the penalty and of the guilt of all his sins at the end of his life. Do not be unbelieving as though this is impossible. It is easy for me to do because I am the mother of the King of Heaven and He calls me full of Grace and being full of Grace, I am able to dispense Grace freely to my dear children.” – Our Lady to Blessed Alan de la Roche

I came across many stories that turned my heart to make many prayers to the Blessed Virgin Mary. There was a story of a man who wore a blessed Rosary to get rid of the demons that tormented him and how effective it was at chasing the evil spirits away forever, since the man resolved to wear it night and day. It also talked about a priest who placed a Blessed Rosary around a possessed girl’s neck and how the demons in the girl screamed for it to be taken off, to which the priest did because he worried about the girl. The demons went to priest at night to finish him but the priest had his rosary in his hand and used it to beat the demons. The next day, the priest went to the girl and the demons told him that if he hadn’t had his Rosary they would have finished him, so, the priest placed the Rosary around her neck and commanded the demons to leave by the Sacred Name of Jesus, and that of Mary, His Holy mother and by the power of the Holy Rosary. In another story, there was a Breton soldier called Othère, who wore the Rosary on his arm and carried it on the hilt of his sword as he went off to fight heretics and robbers. His enemies admitted that they had seen his sword gleam and that another time they had noticed a shield on his arm that had pictures of our Lord and our Lady and the saints upon it. This shield made him invincible and gave him the strength to attack well. He defeated 20,000 heretics with only 10 companies and without losing a single man. This impressed the general of the heretic’s army that he came to see Othère afterwards, abjured his heresy and declared publicly that he had seen him surrounded by flaming swords during the battle.

I started wearing my rosary recently because I remembered the advise I got from my mom, back when I had nightmares as a child, to wear the rosary. I had confessed to her about all of my nightmares when one in particular seemed to have broken through into reality. The first time but not the last. (oh, sorry, I just remembered the first time was when I was maybe 5 or younger or a little older by months. I went to my mom but I did not speak about the dream. Because it happens quite often that I remember things after the fact and go back to amend my post, I must apologise in advance. I do not mean to lie.). Anyway, my mom had also given me some Psalms and told me to say them as well as to pray the Rosary but I stopped after a short while. I was too tired to pray and I didn’t want to have to rely on the rosary or on anything or anyone, even if it did work when I prayed. I have known about the power of the rosary from my mom, and an exorcist speak about it when he placed it around a possessed person’s neck but I didn’t know about the things in “The secret of the Rosary”, prior to this week, and I can 100% relate to the stories being said and I resonate so strongly with the emphasis on the meditation on our Lord’s Passion being the way to arrive at perfection, so, I know the Blessed Virgin Mary was leading me to it. 

Anyone who speaks badly or in a reserved manner about people wearing the Rosary should take care in their speech. I have heard the argument for this negative view held by some Catholics being that a pop star wore it as a jewellery, and as such the Rosary should not be worn as Jewellery, as though the Rosary should be considered Jewellery by a Catholic when a Catholic sees it being worn. People wear the Religious habit of priests or Nuns as costumes or even to mock or to blaspheme, but I find it hard to believe this has caused any priest or nun to have a reserve about wearing the Religious Habit or Catholics seeing it being worn because it is supposed to mean something to us. My advice to anyone who may have a reserve towards the religious habit or wearing the Rosary openly would be to try to acknowledge to themselves the real reason they are reserved and set themselves free with the truth. “And you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.”.

I have a hard time believing anyone wearing a Rosary openly in the US and Canada is expecting to be loved for wearing it. I questioned myself for days on whether I was afraid to wear it openly, instead of hidden, and the truth is I was, even if I told myself I am at work so, I should not do it. I have been praying for courage and the fervour of the saints because, as I told Jesus, I am lacking in Fervour. I had many thoughts yesterday about how I believe it is a tremendous good to wear the Rosary openly and after the thoughts which I do not quite remember (or perhaps I have shared some in this post already), I asked myself a question, “Then, why are you not wearing the Rosary openly?”. I surprised myself when I pulled out my Rosary in the open. I was conscious about it briefly then I forgot I was wearing it, until I got a stare from a colleague, but no question. My prayer is to have the courage to continue to wear it and to be able answer any question when asked. Another beautiful thing happened before I pulled out my Rosary, I did not shy back from speaking about Jesus and the transformative power of life through Christ to a colleague. I felt so happy. I know it is little since there is still so much to speak about, but to me who lacks courage, it is everything.

Do you know that it was once granted to members of the Confraternity of the Holy Rosary, a 100 days indulgence for openly wearing the Rosary out of devotion and to set a good example? I do not know why this was changed.

There are still so many other spiritual benefits of joining the Confraternity and if you already pray the three traditional mysteries (Glorious, Joyful and sorrowful mysteries) in a week, you can join it too. I joined the Confraternity quickly after reading the book. My enrolment date is a future date and on the day I got the email from the Confraternity, I felt as though I could die in peace because I had even gone to confession and attended mass and received Communion that day too. To join the confraternity, use this link: Rosary Confraternity.

Pray the Rosary.

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Let it be, until we meet again or “Ka ọ dị” as it is said in Igbo.

A lovely song!